5 Things You Should Never Say to Your Children

Think About What You are About to Say

Please, think about what you say to me!
Please, think about what you say to me! | Source

Our Kids Can Push Our Buttons

I know that everyone gets stressed from time to time and being a good parent can be quite difficult. All of us have said things that we wish we had not. Our children are precious gifts from God, but they can “push our buttons” sometimes. The parents that care enough to take the time to read this are never going to say some of the horrible things we’ve heard some parents say, but here are my top 5 things you should never say to your children.



#1. I am Going to Leave Without You!

This one has to be my pet peeve. I hear parents say this quite often. When you are ready to leave and your child is not, you tell them you are going to leave without them to make them mind. Imagine being 2 or 3 years old. The world is still a big and scary place. You are telling your child that you, their parent and protector, are going to leave them all alone in this stranger filled place. Do you really think this is a good thing to do? Make you child mind by disciplining them, not by scaring them to death!

Oh no! Don't tell daddy!
Oh no! Don't tell daddy! | Source

#2. Just Wait Until Your Daddy Gets Home

Wait until your daddy gets home. Why? What are you, chopped liver? You are basically telling your child that you do not have the power to discipline them. You just took away your own authority. When a child misbehaves, the discipline should happen right away. If you wait until daddy gets home, the child may have even forgotten what they did wrong. Not only that, but you just made daddy the “bad guy”. Now, every day when daddy gets home, they are going to wonder if they are going to get in trouble for something.

#3. Because I Said So

This used to drive me crazy when I was a child. My mom would say it all the time. When I would ask why I couldn't do something my mom would simply say because I said so. If I were to ask again, my dad would say not to argue with my mother. I didn't mean to argue, I just wanted to understand why. Take the time to explain to your child why you made the decision you did. Once they understand why, there should be no reason for asking again. Plus, they are missing out on a learning experience.

#4. I Don't Care

Really? You don’t care about what they are saying to you? That is what your children think when you say this. Your children believe what you tell them. I know that when we say this, we don’t really mean it, but your children don’t know that. If you are busy, tell them you can’t talk about it right now and you will talk to them about it just as soon as you can. Don’t tell the you don’t care.

#5. Leave Me Alone

Maybe you have had a bad day and you are trying to cook dinner or study and your child wants your attention. Saying, “Leave me alone”, is just like taking your hands and pushing your child away. It can be very hurtful. Explain to them that what you are doing is important and you need to finish what you are doing before you start something else.

Have you ever said any of these things to your kids?

  • Yes
  • No
See results without voting

Be Thoughtful to Your Children

We know we have heard other things said by parents that are absolutely shocking and that we would never say! “I hate you”, “I wish you were never born”, or “Why are you so stupid”, anyone who can really say these things to their children, doesn’t need to have children. Be thoughtful to your children and just think about what you are about to say, before you say it.

Be careful what you say, our children are so innocent and precious.
Be careful what you say, our children are so innocent and precious. | Source

© 2012 Sheila Brown

More by this Author


Comments 84 comments

sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 16 months ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Thank you, Julie! Children don't always take what we say how we really mean it. We should keep that in mind when we speak to them. I appreciate your kind comment and vote, thank you for stopping by!


Julie K Henderson profile image

Julie K Henderson 16 months ago

This is a great article. You are wise to mention how the child may interpret certain things we say. Voted up.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Thank you bella34! I appreciate your kind comment. Have a wonderful day! :)


bella34 profile image

bella34 3 years ago

Wow..this is really good article!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Pandula! Many times we say things to our children without realizing that they take what we say very seriously. We can easily leave the wrong impression with them. Sometimes we say things we don't really mean, but they don't always know that and sometimes we can hurt them without realizing it. Thank you for stopping by and commenting, it is always appreciated! Have a wonderful day! :)


pandula77 profile image

pandula77 3 years ago from Norway

I learnt a lot by reading this hub! Thanks a lot for sharing. In most instances, we don't really think before we talk with children. Although we may not feel what we said was wrong, it may have long-term repercussions when it comes to children.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello smcopywrite. Parents seem to be so busy these days, in most families both parents have to work and find a good balance between family and job. This is not always an easy task. I hope that anyone who reads my article will at least slow down enough to think about what they are saying to their children and realize what impact it may have on them. Thank you for stopping by and commenting, it is always appreciated! :)


smcopywrite profile image

smcopywrite 3 years ago from all over the web

wonderful article that brings back many memories. i am certain there are things done in one generation that the next one will point to and say they did a horrible job on one topic or another, but this comes with hindsight. i am certain our parents felt they were doing a great job with the info they had in hand as well.

i truly believe in being careful with what we say and do with all children, not just our own. no one is perfect. we can certainly strive for perfection and many of us will still come up short. there is something to be said for making the effort.

being a parent is serious business and should be taken as a blessing and a job at every turn


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Tirralan! I always hated it when my mom said "Because I said so!". If we can just take the time to explain why, even a short explanation, not only do our kids learn something, but they are usually satisfied. Thank you for taking time to read and comment on my hub. Have a wonderful day! :)


Careermommy profile image

Careermommy 3 years ago from Los Angeles, CA

sgbrown, this is such an important article. I agree with your list of things we shouldn't say to our kids. Sometimes it's hard not to say, "because I said so," especially when you just want them to to do what you say now, and not ask questions, but I'm getting better at explaining my reasons behind my words because it is important. Thank you for sharing this.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hi Peg. Yes sometimes we say things without thinking first. My mom telling me, "Because I said so!", drove me crazy! I just wanted to know why, I wanted to understand what she was thinking. I can say that, as far as I know, I never said that to one of my kids. There were times I wanted to! Thank you for stopping in and leaving such a great comment, I really enjoyed it! Have a wonderful day! :)


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 3 years ago from Dallas, Texas

These are great reminders to be conscious of everything we say to children. Words have a lasting effect and I caught myself saying the identical things to my child that my parents said to me. I swore I never would say them. That happens sometimes without meaning to and is hard to take back once spoken. It came back to haunt me when I overheard my 5 yo son telling the dog in a stern voice, "Do you understand me?" and shaking his finger at her. It was a wake up call.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

I would be happy for you to use my name. If I may, call you Pat or Patricia?

It is important to think about what we say to our children. I know sometimes they can "push our buttons", but they take everything we say so seriously. You're right, you can't unring the bell! Thank you for your wonderful comment! I hope you have a wonderful day! :)


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 3 years ago from sunny Florida

Hi Sheila

I hope it is ok if I use your name...I guess I could just say, hi , sg...anyway greetings...

it is so important to think before we speak, is it not? Too often we speak in anger or when in a hurry...and you can't unrung the bell, stuff just can't be unsaid. Along those same lines....say what you mean and mean what you say. If you say it, follow through good or bad, positive or negative. You lose your credibility otherwise as you know. Thanks for sharing this...these are important bits of information to know.

:) ps


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Thank you so much ImKarn! We are all human and of course we all make mistakes. Hopefully, not only will we learn from our mistakes, but maybe our children can too. Children do need to learn how to get along in this world and it is changing so much, not for the better. We need to take better care with our children and teach them love, respect and kindness. It all starts with us! Thank you so much for such a wonderful, heartfelt comment! Oh, and the vote and share too! LOL Have a wonderful day, my friend! Much hub love! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello SidKemp! I'm sorry you did have the best childhood. Childhood should be a wonderful time in our lives. I love your statement; "Don't just count your blessings, hug them!" That is so true! You would be a great dad, I'm sure. I hope you have some children in your path, such as nieces or nephews because I am sure you are a wonderful influence on their lives! Thank you so much for your wonderful comment! Have a wonderful day!!! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hi Paul! Sometimes parents just don't realize the impact of what they say. If told these things over and over, a child may start to believe that they are useless and that's not a good thing! There are many people that are "mechanically challenged", but I am sure you excel in other areas. I would probably slap the person if I heard them tell their child that they didn't love them! Would you come visit me in jail? :) Thanks for the vote and share! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello livingsta! Yes there are many other things I have heard parents say to their children that should NEVER be said, but I think those go without saying. These are things that we say without thinking about how our children can interpret them. Thank you so much for stopping in and commenting. It is always appreciated! :)


ImKarn23 profile image

ImKarn23 3 years ago

Great advice, SG..

Sadly, we're all human - we all say things we don't mean (i honestly find it difficult to believe that 32% of the people here have NEVER ONCE said any of those things to their children - or - maybe they don't have children?) lol..

To me - the thing is to be honest - and showing the kids how to deal with your own mistakes is also a great lesson for them! Apologizing without using the word 'but' for instance...treating them with respect...listening...etc..

As much as we try to be perfect parents - perfect isn't what kids need - they need to learn how to get along...in the real world..

voting up and sharing with the hub-munity, my friend..


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello MsLizzy! I agree with you! If my child doesn't come with me when I say let's go, I would simply walk over to them, give them a little swat on the butt and pick them up. My mom's answer of "I told you so!" drove me crazy. I don't thing I ever said that to my kids. I always tried to explain why.

Your answer of "I didn't ask if you wanted to -- I told you to." is not a bad thing. I have said that many times!

Thank you so much for stopping in and leaving such a wonderful comment! I enjoy hearing from you! Have a wonderful day! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 3 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello again Barbergirl! Luckily, I never said that to my kids, I probably threatened them with a spanking though. :) One day I heard one of my daughter-in-laws say that to one of my grandsons who was about 2 at the time. I saw the panic on his face and realized how much that scared him. I just think there are better options. Thank you for your wonderful comment. I always enjoy hearing from you! Have a wonderful day! :)


SidKemp profile image

SidKemp 3 years ago from Boca Raton, Florida (near Miami and Palm Beach)

Thank you, SGbrown, for these reminders. My wife and I couldn't have children, so I can't really imagine the stress of being a parent. But I do know what blessings parents have in having children at all. Please, don't just count your blessings, hug them! And be aware of the good and harm you can do with your thoughts, words, and feelings.

My parents didn't say most of these, except for maybe "I don't care." But then again, they didn't say much useful at all, and they hardly ever listened. I pretty much had to figure out life for myself.

So, while you're busy not saying these five things, please listen to your children. Thanks again, SGBrown, for these excellent reminders.


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 3 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

Some things that parents say to kids can become self-fulfilling prophecies. When I was young, I wasn't very handy or dexterous like my dad. I remember him sometimes saying that I was "as useless or helpful as teats on a boar." I grew up being undexterous and am still mechanically challenged up to the present day. A grownup should also never a child that no one loves him or her. Voted up and sharing.


livingsta profile image

livingsta 3 years ago from United Kingdom

So true, makes us think as parents, sometimes we say things we shouldn't be saying. There are a lot more things many parents say that they shouldn't be saying!


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 3 years ago from Oakley, CA

Good points! I don't understand the #1 threat. You don't SAY anything--you simply pick up the child and go.

I know MY parents always gave me the "Because I said so" routine, and it absolutely maddened me. "Just because" is NOT a reason. I vowed never to say that to my kids, and I don't think I ever did, but I'd have to check with my now-adult kids to be sure. ;-)

I guess my biggest "bad thing" to say, when given an argument about doing something was to tell them, "I didn't ASK if you WANTED to--I TOLD YOU TO! Now, go do it!" This was usually about cleaning their rooms, and it wasn't when they were 2 or 3--it was when they were in grade school and older.

Voted up, interesting and useful.


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 3 years ago from Hemet, Ca

My children take after my husband. He is the slowest person in the world. That being said, they have learned to dwaddle. I have been known, on more than one occasion, to say number one just to get them to rush! Great list - I need to watch what I say. This offers a lot of perspective!


Family Forum profile image

Family Forum 4 years ago

You bring up a good point sgbrown. I am guilty of saying this without even thinking. I think a lot of that stems from culture. In Latino upbringing it is considered disrespectful to question an adult beyond a certain point. But as a new school mom, I'm always trying to find the balance of old school wisdom and new school practicality.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Family Forum! Yes, my mom would say this too and it drove me crazy! I just wanted to understand why. Sometimes parents just say no without giving it any thought. I wanted to know that she at least thought about what I was asking before she answered me. Thank you for stopping in and commenting, it is always appreciated! :)


Family Forum profile image

Family Forum 4 years ago

My mom would always say "because I said so!" As a child it was maddening, and when i finally became a mom, i heard those very words fly out of my mouth. I agree that children lose out on a learning experience when you say this. It's also a reminder to be better than that with which your past has exposed you to. Very helpful hub! Thanks!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hi Alecia! My mom used to say "Because I said so", all the time. It drove me crazy! If I asked why again, my dad would get on to me for arguing with my mom. I couldn't win! I agree, you don't have to give a long, drawn out explanation, just explain to them why it is not safe, or not nice, etc. Sometimes we just need to think about what we say, before we say it! Thank you for stopping by and leaving a comment. It is always appreciated! Have a great day! :)


Alecia Murphy profile image

Alecia Murphy 4 years ago from Wilmington, North Carolina

I was the kind of kid who usually found stuff out by investigating- I didn't ask my parents. I think it had to do with the fact I'd observed enough not to wanna cross the line with my parents. My parents never said any of those things but it would've been easy if I ever pushed their buttons.

While the other ones are bad, #3 is the worst. Kids need to know why you've set certain boundaries- you don't have to give them a narrative just a thorough explanation. Great hub!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Esmeowl12! My mom used to always say, "Because I said so!" It used to drive me CRAZY!! I wanted to understand why. I never said that to my kids, I hope I never said any of the other things either. Some of them aren't so bad, I have heard much worse but I didn't list those as that would be a little redundant. I'm sure you are and have always been a wonderful mom! Sometimes, we just need to stop and think before we say things, especially when our children are young and they don't really understand that sometimes we really don't mean what we say. Thank you for stopping in and commenting, it is always appreciated! Have a wonderful day! :)


Esmeowl12 profile image

Esmeowl12 4 years ago from Sevierville, TN

Thanks so much for sharing these. My son is now 16 but I remember saying some of these things to him when he was younger. We need to be more careful with our words - children's egos are so fragile & precious!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Dale! It's true, some of the comments I listed are on the edge of verbal abuse and some parents don't realize it. We need to think how we would feel if the same thing was said to us. Children tend to take things we say very seriously too. Thank you for your wonderful comment and vote! Have a wonderful day! :)


Dale Hyde profile image

Dale Hyde 4 years ago from Tropical Paradise on Planet X

Well done! You mention and share some excellent advice involving children. Much of what you refer to not doing is right on the edge of verbal abuse. By this I mean is simply can truly cripple and stumble a child.

Voted up, interesting and useful.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello sweetie1! I am sure that when you have children, you will be a great mom! Just think before you speak and speak from your heart. My mom would not wait for my dad to get home. She would spank my little butt when I needed it! This way, I never dreaded for my dad to come home. I had already received my punishment. Thank you for stopping in, commenting and voting on my hub, it is always appreciated! Have a great day! :)


sweetie1 profile image

sweetie1 4 years ago from India

Fabulous hub. Even though I don't have kids but one day I would have and I am sure to remember all the points. Yes my mom would always say that wait for your dad to come home, this made me so fearful of dad because I knew i would be punished. voted it up.


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Awesome hub. We have not the slightest inkling how are words going to be taken by the child when we say them in frustration or anger at that point of time. You are very right in saying we ought to think well about what we are going to say and their impact.

Very useful hub, Sheila. Voted up, useful, awesome and shared.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Aubrey! It sounds like you were a "good kid". I'm sure your grandma was a wonderful "parent" as well. Kids can "push our button", but regardless, we need to think about what we say, before we say it. I appreciate you stopping in and commenting. I hope you enjoyed my hub. Have a wonderful day! :)


CrazedNovelist profile image

CrazedNovelist 4 years ago from Hampton, GA

Yep, those are definitely my top five things too, though I am happy to say that my grandma (who raised me) never said such awful things. In fact, I don't think as a child I gave her reason to. I think it also depends on the child and how they behave. Sometimes children can be less obnoxious and less likely to hear those things. Then again, you're right, they shouldn't be said regardless of the situation.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello abbykorinnelee! I think we have all made some comments before that we wish we had not. We should all think about what we are saying to our children, before we say it. Thank you for you wonderful comment here! I hope you and your family have a great day! :)


abbykorinnelee profile image

abbykorinnelee 4 years ago from Ripon Wisconsin

The first one, telling your child you will leave without them and put that fear of abandonment in them, they will start to fear that you actually will just leave them one day and this can alter their healthy bonds with their parents. You have to instill order and discipline without creating a false fear in them that can manifest into other behavior's or anxiety issues depending on the age.

I am gulity of number two when I have been so frustrated and didn't know what else to say. I should have just walked away until the situation was calm. Normally the father figure isn't home often, this is especially awful to do to a child if their father is say in the Army and isn't home very often as it is with the combat deployment rotations and many Army wives do this. It does instill a fear of an authority figure but it is the wrong kind of fear that is instilled. When a parent is present it shouldn't become a fearful event when they walk into the door. Plus, it takes away from your own authority of the child and creates a situation that you will never be able to successfully have your children abide by you because they know that you will just eventually give up and wait until the father is home. Plus, its more effective to deal with a situation as it has happened. The consequences are proven to be less effective the longer after the disobediance has occurred, especially in younger children. You are also creating a possiblity your older children will start resenting the prescence of the father figure if they are fearful they will always be getting into trouble. They will end up respecting you less in the long wrong.

Plus, its been proven through much research that positive parenting and rewards versus punishment is more effective.

I don't believe in just telling a child because I said so, or because I am the mom, or I am the adult etc. It doesn't teach the child there are specific reasons behind something that they must do in their life. Even if its just doing the dishes. One day my son kept asking "but why" and being 13 this grated my nerves and I had to catch myself from throwing that phrase out there for all to hear in the neighborhood. I instead, calmly as I could, stated that I had to do some other things before finishing a research paper due the next day and could use the help. Plus, it was important that even though he knew how to do the dishes that he practice it so it becomes second nature and he will be able to do these things without his mom around when he leaves home. Third, that everyone contributes in the household. After that I would just tell him I already gave you valid reasons and you need to be respectful and mind what I say or it creates hostility...which of course it did but I didn't end up just turning into the ogre that was making him my slave which is what he wanted to say to me.

I have done this as well and I hate that I did on the few occasions because my oldest is a boy who just turned 13 and about to finish middle school. He is not emotionally able to separate that I was frustrated and didn't mean what I said and he shouldn't have to. I do care and by saying that I devalued what he is feeling, no matter how silly it seems to me or how irrational his thinking is to me, it is valid to him and by saying I don't care, its saying to him I don't care about him or what he feels so why should he care about how I feel. This can escalate behavior problems and can close off any form of open communication you have had. With my Autistic son I can't ever phrase things like that because he takes things literal and has a hard time with taking into account nonverbal communication and facial expressions so even if I was joking around with him and said I don't care and it wasn't said to be mean, he will think it is and this damages any progress he has made.

I do think that there are times its important to let the kids know that they need to do their thing because we need alone time too but there are more beneficial ways of stating such things. By bluntly and in a grumpy mood throwing that at them when they are coming up to you to show you some picture in finger paint they did at school, tells them you don't have time for them and put yourself ahead of them and your feelings ahead of theirs. This devalues your ability to understand them in their eyes and can cause emotional attatchment and avoidant issues later in childhood and early adulthood.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Rob! I hope writing this hub will just make some parents think before they say some things "in the heat of the moment". Children are very vunlnerable tend do believe what we tell them. Thank you for stopping in, commenting and voting, it is always appreciated! Have a wonderful day! :)


Rob Winters profile image

Rob Winters 4 years ago

Like many things in life, sometimes easier said than done but very sage and digestable advice here sg.I totally agree will all your points and explanations.Many people can say these things in the heat of the moment, without being concious of the psychological and emotional vulnerability of their young children and the lasting damage they may be causing.Up & Useful.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello healthwealthmusic! I completely agree with you! Being a parent is the most important job we will ever have and we need to take it more seriously. I do wish that you had to take and pass a test to become a parent, we would have a much better world if that were the case. Thank you for stopping in and leaving such a great comment! Have a wonderful day! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello dwachira! Sometimes I hear parents say things to their children with out giving it much thought. The children don't understand that they really don't mean what they say. Some things can really hurt and scare little children. I just want to make some parents realize this. Thank you for reading, commenting and all your support, it is greatly appreciated! Have a wonderful day! :)


healthwealthmusic profile image

healthwealthmusic 4 years ago from Everywhere Online ~ Fingerlakes ~ Upstate New York

Great hub and a good reminder to us as parents. Being a parent isn't easy, it is one of the most important things we will ever do and be in our lifetime. There are times I wished that no one could be a parent until they completed a course about parenting and passed a test, LOL. It is too bad that it is so easy to get pregnant, when in fact it should be treated with much more importance!


dwachira profile image

dwachira 4 years ago from Nairobi, Kenya

Hi sgbrown,

This is a nice one, we often tell kids things that we should not, or things that we regret later that we shouldn't have said in the first place. Kids are the most innocent creatures and they learn a lot from what we say and do. I agree with your 5 mentions here and these are terrible things to say to kids. Voted up, useful and shared.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Martie! I am so glad you enjoyed my hub. I do have some "pet peeves" that I need to "get off my chest" and this hub was a good way to do that. (smile) Thank you for such a wonderful comment and all your support, it is greatly appreciated! Have a wonderful day! :)


MartieCoetser profile image

MartieCoetser 4 years ago from South Africa

Another awesome hub for continuous reading! Shared and pinned in my personal library ~~ :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello hyphenbird! You are exactly right. Our children need to be treated with respect and consideration. Thank you for stopping in and leaving such a wonderful comment! Have a great day!


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

I think we sometimes forget our little children are people with feelings just like ours. They get hurt, offended and embarrassed. They need to be spoken to with respect. I enjoyed your article. Thank you very much. Hyphen


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Tammy! I am sure most of us have been guilty of at least one of the "minor" no-no's. I think your youngest still needs to know that you can "take of business" when you need to. Thank you so much for your wonderful comment!


Lyn.Stewart profile image

Lyn.Stewart 4 years ago from Auckland, New Zealand

I have said ... Because I said so to my child after having already explained why twice and still getting the why statement.

I agree with your list and would add "go away" to the list


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

Ouch. This is all so very true. I am guilty of number #2 with my youngest. I am not the best authoritarian and like not having to be. I raised 3 sons on my own and I had to be the bad guy. Now I would rather not be. Very helpful message and a great reminder on how to gain mutual respect.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello theliz! I totally agree. Good communication with our children is very important. Thank you for your wonderful comment. Have a great day! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Glimmer Twin Fan! I think most of us have been guilty of at least the minor statements from time to time. My hub is intended to make us think about what we are going to say before we actually say it, out load at least. Thank you for stopping in, reading and commenting, it is always appreciated! Have a wonderful day. :)


theliz profile image

theliz 4 years ago from Maryland

I think that just as important, maybe more even is not what you say (within reason here), but how you explain and discuss what you say later. Being busy and distracted while being a mom can lead to slips of the tongue. Hearing and dealing with the nuance of language and meaning is a part of life we all have to experience, and I think it is well done with a loving family that takes the time to talk about the emotions behind the words and takes the opportunity to teach to and learn from all members.


Glimmer Twin Fan profile image

Glimmer Twin Fan 4 years ago

Useful hub and a little hard to read. I have said a few of these things and I always feel guilty afterwards.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello daisyjae! It is very important to thing about what we say to our children, before we say it. They tend to take everything we say very seriously. Thank you for stopping in and leaving a comment, it is always appreciated! Have a great day! :)


daisyjae profile image

daisyjae 4 years ago from Canada

It is so important to be careful with our words with our children. They are sensitive little people and we really don't know what harsh words can do to them. Thank you for this remindar.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello moonlake! There are so many hurtful things that some people say to the children, we could probably make a really long list. "Because I said so", isn't a bad thing, but I think it would be better to explain to your children why you made the decision you did. I am sure you were and still are a wonderful parent! Thank you for commenting and voting on my hub, it is always appreciated! Have a wonderful day! :)


Fighting CPS profile image

Fighting CPS 4 years ago from Franklin County,OHIO

i love this,thank you for this......

jessica strydesky

Ohio Loving Mother Suing OHIO Child Protection Services,for ruining

the most precious in my entire life,my girl,and boy.now teens,just are being reunited,seven months....

god bless us all.


moonlake profile image

moonlake 4 years ago from America

You are so right about everything you said. A few more your stupid, fat or lazy. I sure said "Because I said so" enough or "Because I'm the Boss." Voted uP on your hub.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Sunshine! It's not really a "bad" thing to say, but my mom used to drive me crazy with saying "Because I said so." She would never tell my why. I know we are supposed to just take our parents decisions with out argument, but if she would ever have explained why to me, I would have been much happier. It just made me feel like she didn't care about my feelings or how important something was to me. It is just something to think about. I am sure you were and still are a wonderful parent and grandparent! Thank you for reading and commenting! Have a wonderful day! :)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

I am guilty as sin for #3. Even though my daughters are now married women I still say it, but on the brighter side I haven't said it to my grandkids yet! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello bravewarrior! Words do hurt and you are right, they cannot be taken back. Your children will remember the hurtful words forever. We should put ourselves in the shoes of these little people and thing how we would feel if we were them. I wouldn't want my husband to tell me he was going to leave me in a strange place. (And I could call a cab!) Thank you for your wonderful comment and have a great day! :)


bravewarrior profile image

bravewarrior 4 years ago from Central Florida

Points well taken, although I must say, the statements made in "Be thoughtful to your children" have never been uttered by me, but by my child.

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words can never hurt me" is such a fallacy! Words are the deadliest weapons we humans possess! Words are remembered for a lifetime; they can't be taken back. Be careful of what you say! Your words WILL be remembered!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Chitrangada! Thank you for your kind words! We do need to be careful what we say to our children, they take things very seriously. I actually had that in my first draft, I guess I should have left it in there, it is a good point. Thank you for your kind comment! It is always appreciated! :)


ChitrangadaSharan profile image

ChitrangadaSharan 4 years ago from New Delhi, India

Excellent hub! You have said almost everything and that too beautifully. It is true that children consider their parents as role models, so we must be very careful about what we say and how we say it. I would like to add one more point, never compare your own children among themselves. It hurts them. All of them want to be the best in the eyes of their parents. As parents we have to strike a balance somehow, among the siblings.

Thanks for sharing this wonderful hub.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Mhatter99! I think if this is the worst we have said to our children, we are doing good! I raised my children, hopefully, without making too many mistakes. Now I sit back and watch my children raise their children and think to myself, "Did she really just he/she that!" Things have changed so much, even since my children were small, sometimes, we just need to stop and think about what we say to our children. I am sure you were and still are a wonderful parent! Thank you for your comment and have a wonderful day!


Mhatter99 profile image

Mhatter99 4 years ago from San Francisco

You got me with "leave me alone". I won't make any excuses. But generally, I think, I watched my words.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Dr. Pooja! Patience is a very important part of being a parent. Too often our children and spoken to in anger and without forethought. It is important for us to realize what we say to our kids can have a great impact on them. Thank you so much for stopping in and commenting on my hub, it is greatly appreciated. Have a wonderful day! :)


Dr Pooja profile image

Dr Pooja 4 years ago

The hub reaches the soul of every mother.For every parent patience is the greatest virtue still at times we go crazy and speak out things which hurt and impact the innocent kids in their long run.


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Made! Of course, none of us are perfect parents and sometimes we loose our tempers. Our children do watch our every move and listen to our every word. It bothers me that I hear quit a few parents telling their children they are going to leave without them. I have seen the panic in the child's eyes before. I know these parents are not intentionally being mean, they just don't realize what they are doing. Thank you for stopping in, reading and commenting on my hub. It is always appreciated! Have a wonderful day! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Faith Reaper! It is important to watch what we say to our children as well as all children. The tongue is very powerful and we must watch how we use it. Thank you so much for your wonderful, kind comment. I always enjoy hearing from you! Have a blessed day! :)


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Mommiegee! Children do take what we say to heart and they believe everything we say. We do need to be more mindful when we speak to our children. Thank you so much for your kind comment, vote and sharing! It is always appreciated. Have a wonderful day! :)


Made profile image

Made 4 years ago from Finland

I think about what I say to my children, but I think sometimes we all make mistakes as parents. Your children's behaviour is sometimes a reflection of your won behaviour as a parent. Children don't do what you tell them, they do what you do. Really good hub!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Janine! We do need to think about what we say before we say it to or around our children. They take everything we say very seriously. I know that most people who read this care enough about their children not to say things like this. Maybe someone will read this who NEEDS to! Thank you for your wonderful comment, vote and share! It is always appreciated. Have a wonderful day! :)


Mommiegee profile image

Mommiegee 4 years ago from Alabama

This is a great hub! We do have to be mindful of what we say to children and how we say things to children. They take things to the heart. I love this hub. I will definitely be sharing. Voted up!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma Author

Hello Kat! Things that we say to our children can stay with them for a very long time. I am sorry your mom blames you for her short comings. Sometimes people just need someone else to blame. I am sure you mom loves you ry much! I'm sure that you are a wonderful mother! Thank you for your wonderful comment, it is always appreciated! Have a great day!


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 4 years ago from southern USA

Excellent hub. Yes, it is very important to watch the words we say to our children or children in general. I try to be very mindful of the words coming out of my mouth- do they lift them up or would they tear them down? He tells us in His Word that, although the tongue is so very small, it can either bring life or death. So that is very powerful. Great write. In His Love, Faith Reaper


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

As a parent to 2 small kids I do agree you need to be careful what you say to your kids as well as what you say that they can overhear and repeat too. Agree with your list though and can't even imagine saying the half of these thing to my little one. Have voted up and shared too!!


kat_thurston profile image

kat_thurston 4 years ago

I truly agree be careful what you say to your kids. While my 5 can be a handful at times I would never dream of saying some of the things that my mom has said to me. She blamed me for messing up her career in the army because she got pregrenant with me and ever since everything bad in her life has been fault. One thing it has taught me though is not how to be with my beautiful children. Sure I wish I would have done things differently before I had them. But I don't regret one minute having them and thank God for them each day.

    Sign in or sign up and post using a HubPages Network account.

    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment

    No HTML is allowed in comments, but URLs will be hyperlinked. Comments are not for promoting your articles or other sites.


    Click to Rate This Article
    working