A friend for my daughter

My beautiful 3rd grade daughter
My beautiful 3rd grade daughter

Blood Sisters

 My daughter came home from school today at her normal time. She was estatic. She had just finished her book, "The Indian in the Cupboard." She loves to read, but she also loves movies. When she found out the book she was reading was also made into a movie, she couldn't wait to watch it. But there was a condition, she had to finish the book first.

After she was finishing up her homework, she came up to me and said, "Mommy, I have a great idea that I got from The Indian in the Cupboard."  I of course asked her what her great idea was. She suggested that when we went back to Wisconsin, she could become blood sisters with her best friend.

She was of course told no. This resulted in a massive amount of tears and a breakdown. She is terribly missing her friends from Wisconsin and is having a hard time making new friends in the new area. While I am not saying she is friendless, she just feels she can't relate to some of the kids she is meeting here.

As an adult, we all understand that making a lifelong friend takes time. It is obvious that you will not find a best friend in a matter of minutes. It takes time to get to know each other. While it is a difficult time for my daughter right now, I have encouraged her to open herself up to the possibilities.

As a young child, emotions can take over. A child doesn't understand that you can have more than one best friend; and just because you make new friends doesn't mean you will forget about the old friends.

While my daughter is shy, I hope she is able to find someone out there with similiar interests that she feels she can relate to. Being a third-grader is difficult. They aren't a child anymore; yet they are not close to adulthood either.

Possibilities

Parenting can be hard. It is even harder when you know that your child's heart is breaking. When my family moved to the Riverside, Californina area the transition was particularly hard on my third grade daughter.

Yet, after living in the area for a while, our family finally found a home that had a great school district. While we no longer live in the Riverside area, we only moved a short distance away to a different city, Hemet. We have had wonderful success in getting both of our children to open up to the possibility of new friends. In fact, you would think they would have never went to school anywhere else.

While we have encouraged our children not to forget old friends, we have also encouraged them to be nice to everybody and keep their hearts open for others they may have common interests with. While some children may make friends easy, others can really be shy. As a parent, it is our job to guide our children in the right direction so they don't feel alone, especially after a move.

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Comments 9 comments

sueroy333 profile image

sueroy333 5 years ago from Indiana

I know your pain, barbergirl, as we have moved several times, and watching your daughter suffer through loneliness must break your heart.

You may want to try taking her to the local library. They often have programs for younger children. You may be surprised at the friendships you form.. for you and your daughter.

I worked at a library for several years, and saw many kids that became friends due to meeting there for activities and programs.

Just a thought. I hope it helps, and I do hope you find a friend for your lovely daughter!


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

Thanks for the advice - I looked into some of the local libraries but I didn't see much that would keep her interest. Right now we are looking to get her involved in gymnastics. We will see how that helps her out.


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

It really is hard at any age to move - but those elementary years - tough! It seems like all the little girls have made their little clicks......and three can be a crowd at that age two - i bet she's already found new friends by now! I'm just hub hopping but in case she hasn't - she can always be friends with my two girls! They are sweet to everyone - I gave Maddy her book fair money yesterday - she bought a book for one of the teachers from their wish list. She bought it for her sisters teacher:-) that's just cool! That sweet teacher sent her the greatest thank you card the same day:)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

She has made a few friends, but unfortunately, she is the type that makes a good friend and never leaves there side. Unfortunately, that means she doesn't expose herself to others. She is a little on the naive side and super sweet. I guess at that age, while adults love that, it makes it hard with other children. But I am sure she would love to be friends with your daughters :)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

They are such a hoot - we moved when Laurel was in 4th grade - she went from a large school to a small parochial school - is it ironic that that year was helacious for her:-). And it is really hard to teach your kid not to be mean because others are - and they were that year! I felt so awful for her! But it was a move we had to make - couldn't be helped! She turned out real good though - she's a criminal justice major - I'm sure it is because she wants to be a cop and follow me around town giving me tickets:-)


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 5 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

I wish I was a cop so I could run around town chasing people I liked and randomly scare them by giving them "fake" tickets. That would be fun. Okay, I am sadistic!!


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 5 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Yeah but if they are fake - then no problem! Its the real ones that cost the money!


Man from Modesto profile image

Man from Modesto 3 years ago from Kiev, Ukraine (formerly Modesto, California)

Don't hesitate to ask God to bring her some good, valuable friends. Every time I have prayed this, after moving to a new city, those friends have arrived. Also pray the bad ones will be diverted...


barbergirl28 profile image

barbergirl28 3 years ago from Hemet, Ca Author

@Man from Modesto - It is amazing how things work out. My daughter now has a best friend and they can barely be separated. She is here almost every weekend. Glad to see it too! :)

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