ABCs of Toddlerhood
An Age of Discovery
My toddler has been mimicking the tones of my voice for some months, and she manages a few choice words quite nicely. She can say "noooo" with not only perfect diction, but also with a commandeering inflection that rivals her teenaged sister. She also says help, down (I'll assume it's down and not damn, as I fear) and daddy. Her older brother hears her and thinks she's saying dumb, so he walks around the house saying "Don't call me dumb! ok?!"
Like her older brother, who's three, I think she plans to go from talking in one word commands to speaking in complete sentences. Fine with me, except I fear what will come out of her mouth.
For example, it isn't completely outside the realm of possibility to hear her say "Dag-nab it, get your hands out of the toilet!" or "Get off the dang table already!"
My toddler has discovered her muscles and delights in using them to pull herself onto anything dangerous. We have taken to putting all of our chairs from our kitchen table up onto the kitchen counters and tabletops, keeping the chairs out of reach by the only way we know how. This in turn makes our home look like a diner at closing time, but it does keep toddler girl from getting up onto the table and standing with her legs straddling over the salt shakers.
Each time a new child hits the full-bore toddler stage, I stand back and marvel. Being the parent of a toddler can be exasperating and entertaining. Fortunately it's the third time around, and I know how to lock the bathroom door.
Just for fun, I wrote an ABC Ode to Toddlers. It isn't really an ode, which would have to be in iambic pentameter, but it rhymes in some spots.
A is for all over the floor, need I say any more?
B is for broken, so you better put it up out of reach. Because toddlers don't understand hard and soft until age twelve at least!
C is for climbing on the credenza, over the couch, and on top of the counters. But not on the slide or the climbing toy that I put in the living room, only the forbidden things matter.
D is for "Dang it, get your hands out of the toilet!"
E is for entourage when mom needs to visit the loo.
F is for fickle when frazzled: I want red; no, make it blue!
G is for good ol' days. A gentleman at the grocery told me it gets harder every year,
H is for hard of hearing, because that is not what I needed to hear.
I is for indulgent, when she's in the mood.
J is for jealousy, her brother can't help it. And just wait till they get older from a well-meaning relative.
K is for kissing kittens and baby dolls and big sisters, too.
L is for "look at the sky!" when I try to rinse her hair, and lands on the floor because the water gives her a scare.
M is for marbles, swept out of her mouth.
N is for nude at noon, (the baby, not me). noisy at nap time, and never ending naughtiness!
O is for opening the outside door and going on unsupervised outings.
P is for pros playing at parks, and picky at picnics.
Q is for "Quick, change the diaper!" and quicker to run away from me.
R is for rocking in the big overstuffed chair, while I sing you to sleep and stroke your fine hair. And also for Rolls of toilet paper pulled out all over the floor.
S is for silly story books from the store and more from the library, but also for Seuss favorite we read six hundred times.
T is for toxicity levels rising sky high, though you look so cute, I don't understand why.
U is for unstoppable, a toddler just keeps on going, and going, and going.
V is for valium, at the end of the day when I'm ready for bed but you still want to play.
W is for whatever big brother has, that's what she wants too. And waking at night, such a hullabaloo!
X is for exasperated, and exponentially exhausted, but only sometimes.
Y is for yuck, just about any food will do. And if not when it's going in, there's always the other end too.
Z is for zippers in pajamas that happen to have feet. And toddlers finally asleep in them, aren't they sweet!
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