ALL STEPMOTHERS ARE NOT EVIL
NOT A WICKED WITCH
My stepmother was one of the best people to come into my life. She treated me as her own and thought I and my brother might be the only kids she had and not on an irregular basis. Then she finally had my sister when I was eleven.
My natural parents divorced when I was four, my brother, two. My mother immediately remarried another standout step, who I called Dad. My Dad remarried a year later to my "Other Mother," as she called herself.
Though the divorce was not amicable and my biomom was jealous of my step, she never took it out on us. There was the usual fighting and bickering, name calling and other stupid stuff but neither of my stepparents thought we kids were causing it and neither did we.
My biomom has mental issues that kept her from becoming the person she could have been. Instead she was too jealous to let me take ballet at my biodad and stepmoms house. If I got my hair cut, biomom would cut it again to be sure it was what she wanted and what she did. I think you get the picture.
Meanwhile my brother was being abused mentally and physically because he looked like my biodad. She once told me that my brother was her scapegoat. I remember pulling her off of him when I was around six.
Our stepmom would sooth us as best she could when we got back to her and biodad. She was an elementary school teacher (another thing biomom hated) and knew how to handle children and look for abuse. She tried to get biomom to let her have my brother. Something I begged her to do and which she finally did when he was fourteen and a complete mess. He turned out well and is retired rom the Navy on a medical issue.
My relationship with my stepmom was much calmer. I was the oldest of four. My biomom had a child with my stepdad. I tried to keep everyone happy. When I became an adult and went through the normal adult things, it was she I went to for advice and she I went to when I hurt. When my husband ,died, when my child was in the hospital, when I divorced she was there, on my side. My biomom asked me what I had done to drive him away. She had much the same relationship with my brother as he grew up, also.
This does not mean we never quarrelled. Stepmom was overprotective of my father and she kept him in the dark about what was happening in our lives. That was a sore spot.
My stepmother, Syliva Osborne died of a heart attack at age 72, August 1, 2009 It was sudden and quick. After she had fought 4th stage ovarian and colon cancer and survived for 12 more years. After she parented us and befriended us through our lives. We have lost a parent and the hurt is deep. Talking to her at least twice a week is gone. Christmas was her favorite holiday and she would send cookies and gifts. Gone. Her magic, gone.
My stepfather died many years ago after fighting heart disease, in a car accident. The pain was just as deep and the mourning has never stopped.
To those with children who are looking for a mate, may you bless your children as I have been blessed in finding the very best person you can. One who will love your kids no matter what. If that person has kids, love them with all you've got. It will pay in the long run for you will not be a stepparent, you will be the real thing! It will also make your marriage and your bond stronger.
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