Adventures in Boomerangs

I had read many stories of the the so-called boomerang generation, adult children who move back in with mom and dad. In United States the proportion of adults ages 21 to 34 living with their parents has increased from 9% in 1960 to almost 17% in 2000. US census data also suggests that the rate at which adult children have been living with parents has been steady since 1981. However considering I have four children still at home from ages 10 - 16 and only two out I didn’t think this would be an issue for me for at least a few years. As usual though my powers of perception are sorely lacking, since that is exactly what I will be doing in two weeks

In 2 weeks my oldest son, who is 26 and daughter -in - law along with their two children 3 and 6 months will be moving into my home. It seems that with the new baby they are unable to afford childcare as well as rent. Therefore, they have asked to move in with me . I have been planning to move to another town for about 6 months and  had intended to rent the big house to them when I left, but obviously in my plan I would be gone , not living right here with them! 

I have always been willing to help my children whenever I am able. As a mother, it is your natural instinct to protect and care for your progeny; however, for the life of me I have difficulty picturing how this is going to work in real life. My son is still in that young new parent stage that I left years ago and his wife and I do not get along. Do not get me wrong she is a good mother, a great wife and a hard worker. In those respects, I have no complaints. It is more of a personality clash with us. My daughter in law is one of those women who feel she is prettier, smarter and just downright better than everyone around her is and has no problem telling you to your face. On the other hand I am an abuse advocate, it is my life’s work to lift up the down trodden. In my opinion, the girl is beyond rude crossing over into being emotionally abusive, and though she knows this and knows how I feel she claims not to realize she is making hurtful remarks .  I have spent the past 4  years of their marriage, trying to understand  her point of view and finally  simply ignoring and avoiding interaction with her altogether . 

Now she is moving into my home, around my other children and me. She has already made it clear that she does not want to be here and that in a way she blames me for them having to move in. She feels that if I would baby-sit their daughters  for free, like a good grandma, they would not be in this place today. However as I pointed out I have four children at home yet to raise , am a single mother with  a full time job and am attending school myself. Even I have to draw the line somewhere. 

Therefore, here I am, over the next 2 weeks they will be moving in and then the adventure will begin. 

In my mind this can go one of two ways either we will learn to appreciate each other in new ways forging a new and wonderful strong bond between us based on mutual respect and admiration or this will be a disaster of biblical proportions. Anyone want to lay odds? 

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Comments 2 comments

SimeyC profile image

SimeyC 7 years ago from NJ, USA

LOL The picture at the end says it all. My daughter moved out just after she turned 18 - three months later she's back expecting a child! As you say it's our natural instinct to nurture...but just when you think you're going to have a life, life turns around and say 'think again!'.

Good luck - you're children are lucky to have such a caring and giving mom!

wendi_w profile image

wendi_w 7 years ago from Midwest Author

Thanks and I know what you mean I had hoped that I would at least get one batch out before they started coming back ... dang

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