Always Be Nice to Your Mother!
Why You Should and How to Be Nice to Your Mother
WILMA PROOPS - Agony Aunt to the Stars writes:
Unless your Mother is a complete nightmare I recommend that you are always nice to your Mother. If your Mother is a complete nightmare I recommend that you be nice to the person who has been most like a Mother to you. Why am I doing this? Normally, I'm not prone for offering blanket advice. However, as I am constantly advising the many unhappy celebrities and common folk who consult me to “always be nice to your Mother” I thought on this occasion I would.
Over the years I have observed that many unhappy people are not nice to their mothers and that making them aware of the fact and telling them how to put it right often results in them no longer being so unhappy. Look around yourself and see for yourself, I guarantee that you'll find that happy people are nice to their Mothers or were before they died. Before I outline how to be nice to your Mother I will briefly chart how people become those who are not nice to their Mothers.
The problem starts because good Mothers melt into the background when their children become independent adults. Although there's nothing more they'd like than being in touch with their offspring on a daily basis they realise that their offspring need space to grow and develop their individualities. This doesn't mean that these Mothers are happy not hearing from their adult children - they are not. Neither does it mean that the grown children are purposely being nasty to their Mothers but it does mean that they are oblivious to hurting their feelings.
This is a modern problem. Two hundred years ago, in pre-industrial societies, all but the extremely rich were born, lived and died in their original rural village. In such societies extended families worked and lived as socio-economic units in which all generations played their roles. The advent of city life, fast travel and now globalisation have deconstructed these units. Historians saw this happening and there was much talk of the “good old days” but nobody stated categorically that with the breakdown of matriarchal society came much unhappiness. I'm stating it now!
I've enough evidence in my archives to state that: “humans are most happy living as part of extended family units and when their Mothers play a central role in their lives. I'm not advocating that we reverse history. There is no need as modern communication technology has brought about a global village. Follow these rules - they should come naturally to you as they were abandoned less than eight generations ago:
- Call your Mother everyday and chat. Ask what she's done, tell her what you've done and tell her you love her.
- Stay in touch with all your family members and make sure your Mother knows you are doing so.
- Do things for your Mother.
- Visit your Mother as often as possible.
- Spend time with your Mother. Talk about her life and learn as much as possible from your Mother. By doing this you'll understand yourself better too.
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