Bad examples in life children get from Parents and helpful guide to follow

Ruining a child's outlook on life is simple, if you don't care they won't care neither

  • Expecting kids to act as adults all the time, that's just senseless, their just kids
  • Pressuring them to become what you expect them to become in life.
  • Remedy: Ask them early in life what do they want to be when they grow up.
  • This will tend to stimulate a growth and maturation process of self confidence & self worth in your kids.
  • Meaning at a very young age they can feel assured that they have some say in what their dreams & aspirations are to become in life.
  • Giving them freedom to choose will indeed change future outcomes in their lives.
  • This may happen especially if they remain focused on their education, social activities, overall health, and their emotional well being from youth till adulthood.
  • Note: Parents are a major factor in the emotional stability of a child & their overall well being.
  • If you're not stable, they will also tend to follow suit, so try to rethink things a bit & get help yourself if its all becoming to much for you to handle.
  • There are many professional groups that can assist parents in learning how to become more emotionally stable, on the web & on the ground.
  • Here's a great resource for parenting called "Parent Further", which is a web based professional advice network for parents looking for assistance.
  • It was made to assist them in many area's if the need is there, & is purely informational as well as anonymous (no login or social features).


Patience is Key & Caring means everything to them

Teaching bad habits threaton a childs future

  • Abusive forms of discipline makes for an eventual life of harshness for the suffering child or children, hardened behaviors & lack of love as well as loss of respect for parental authority or guidance overall.
  • Remedy: To show them you love em, try to speak in a well controlled manner while rendering discipline, yelling isn't the answer nor is residing to physical forms of harsh punishments.
  • The mind controls the body, so you need to gain access to their thinking, and response patterns before proceeding into any physical actions that would render a temporary solution.
  • Many traditional hitting, & fear tactics aren't accepted today, so rethink how you approach the discipline arena of parenting, you might need help with it all, since many people have been brought up incorrectly these days.

Ignorance is bliss, so try to do the right thing- Lead by example

  • Doing drugs / Selling Drugs or any other self destructive thing around them, yup that's the best way to ruin a child's future.
  • Example: Smoking cigarettes around them or Drinking liquor.
  • Spreading rumors about others around your children, by way of gossip, your child will acquire your gift of gab, so be careful what comes from your lips, they will repeat it.
  • Lying, cheating or stealing things.
  • Promiscuous sexual partners, or indecent exposure of yourself or others.
  • Allowing them to view pornographic material or adult content.
  • Fighting with your spouse, friends, relatives or strangers, physically or yelling, its the perfect way to show them lack of self control.
  • Gambling around them illegally, or legally.
  • A host of many other personality dis-orders & social issues can stem from all of these bad habits not being corrected, which may eventfully show itself right away by the child's behavior, or somewhere else down the road in their life.



  • Spoiling a child by giving them everything they ask for, this leads to children never getting a grasp on the true values of life, they tend to not get the concept of sharing or helping others as well.
  • Remedy: Set realistic limits for your children like if they ask for more toys, set given parameters around the giving of such gifts & or luxury of having their way, so that they fully comprehend what it is they were given & what it is that will occur if they overindulge or mis-use such things being given.
  • This helps to show them value, there needs to be some sort of feed back mechanism in place, to show differing levels of responsiveness, which will lead to eventual responsibility for their actions, care for ones goods & understanding of others wishes as well.
  • Allowing them to talk back without a well defined explanation, if they talk back ask them questions, this will open an arena for discussion, understanding & possible resolution as opposed to developing the inferiority superiority complex between parent and child.
  • Possible Remedy: No complex will exist with complete clear communications made effective.
  • Our children have a voice & need to be heard, but we must establish effective communications at the beginning so we can trust their words they deliver to us & they can trust ours at all times as well.

  • Frowning upon their gestures or activities in the public, as an act of showing your rule over them, that's the best way to lose a child's respect
  • example: One of your kids is having fun with a group of friends at the playground, & you become angry about something you see them do, so you instantly scold them right in front of everyone, by yelling at them.
  • Best proposed method of action: The suggested way to handle this sorta sticky issue of sorts, is to handle the issue with them in private, behind closed doors if at all possible, maybe even inform them quietly what you feel, before just over reacting & jumping straight into any harsh discipline tactics.
  • Note: Every situation is different so by acting accordingly, it will help prevent from your child potentially becoming dis-respectful to you later on in life. Basic situational awareness is a must in most cases.
  • Meaning make sure that you remedy the issue entirely so not to leave it uncorrected, so that the behavioral issue or issues you've noticed cannot repeat itself.
  • Simply ask your child what it is they were doing, and focus attention on them being honest with you.
  • There's nothing wrong with removing them from their activity temporarily, at least till they correct their unwanted behavior, and if done in a kind gentler, but firm manner should help to harness their respect of your wishes.
  • Unruly children may need to be taken home if their behavioral issues intensify to uncontrollable, just be wise an remain under calm control.
  • Consistence is also the best way to establish this form of fair play parenting controls.

Bonus:

  • Always let your children know how much you love them & mean it from the heart, it helps resolve most issues & don't forget to hug them & kiss them if they correct any bad behaviors.
  • I'm pretty sure you do anyhow, but you never know with parents these days & all the added pressures they faced with daily.

10 helpful Tips in dealing with discipline issues while parenting


  1. Establish some ground rules early when children are developing.
  2. These ground rules will set a foundation for them to follow.
  3. Pay close attention to behavioral patterns, children can be clever at times.
  4. These behavioral patterns are developed early at the toddler stages.
  5. To correct some children's bad behavior you need to be firm, but loving.
  6. Show them with kind, loving words what it is they are to do, & what it is they are not to do, but don't be afraid to become firm when necessary for the best forms of disciplinary response & stimuli with usage of words alone is to occur.
  7. Now being overly critical or too harsh can & will quickly turn them tolerant to that behavior.
  8. Establish a reward for good behavior system, a time out for bad behavior, & when necessary temporarily ban their usage of certain specific material possessions they expect to have or receive all the time, till the behavior is corrected. Such as games, toys, tv, any physical objects that may impair the time out session.
  9. The time out sessions shouldn't last for more then 1 hour on end, remember getting extreme with any one thing can be damaging as well.
  10. Never reward children for bad behavior, that is asking for them to rule you by command, by whining, and a vast multitude of temper tantrums.

Awesome new Video Cam Tech to help monitor your Kids

Parental Advisory Warnings! Technology & Gadgets

  • Allowing them to view negative media, tv, movies, videos, video games, music, uncensored internet sites, or any physical materials such as, photography, magazines, books, or publications that contain harsh graphics or auditory sounds that are inappropriate for children, this is a sure way to contribute to the corruption of the precious mind that our children's have from birth.
  • Remedy: consistently monitor your children from time to time to see what they getting into, show concern about the levels of media they're receiving and exposed to daily, because parents who don't care, will effectively allow children to develop addictions to many obscene things leading to adult issues when they grow up.
  • Facts: Many of the issues we all know of very well today, so it will not be covered here. Many of the negatively based topics, can and will be discussed in future hubs of this nature. Parents who show concern in what it is their children are interested in, will also help guide them away from harmful content being rendered daily on many levels.
  • Note: many of the technologies we have today all have some sorta of adult parental controls that we as parents, are 100% responsible for applying & activating. Seek professional assistance if you have no idea about any advanced tech you allow your children to utilize prior to exposure, in terms of the parental control settings & especially computer related internet access points.
  • Obviously if you purchase, or expose your child to any adult content, that is entirely your fault for ruining their innocence, which they actually do need to remain stable minded & sane, whether you knew that or not is besides the point, just try to keep in mind these crafty advanced devices need to be monitored daily or you may be in for a rude awakening in the unforeseen future.

Effective use of Speech & Reading

  • Talking nonsense to them, purposely telling lies to them, use of foul language around them, these are great ways to destroy a young minds potential for learning & true self confidence.
  • Remedy: speak sensibly to children, and definitely when they're newborn infants as well as all the way through their toddler stages.
  • Speaking gibberish to them all the time is only going to inhibit their senses, try to converse with them intelligently especially if you want them to have a better chance of grasping the language in which you speak, and any others you wish them to adapt too.
  • Reading to children is a definite way to help kick start their learning potential, its fun & helps encourage education.
  • Note: Play fair, if you expect them to do well in their future become more sensible with how you talk to them, children remember everything that comes from your mouth to their precious ears.
  • This is a very sensitive ground, the communications process between parents & their children must not be taken lightly.

Schooling, study time, homework & Discipline

  • The kids get home from school & you put them in front of the TV to get them out the way, or letting them run off to their devices & toys of many types prior to anything else.
  • The facts: many parents try to find a way to take a break from parenting.
  • Remedy: try to help them with their learning and education process early in the game, it will help you to see what they're getting into daily during & after school.
  • The learning process takes time so try home schooling young toddlers prior to their arrival & attending public or private schooling, it will prepare them for a world of challenging educational experiences & subjects.
  • Inviting their friends over & they haven't got any homework or studying done.
  • Remedy: setting a scheduled homework, study time & rest periods or nap times.
  • Facts: studies show that when kids have a set program in place, the tendency for them to go off track is cut down to a minimum; meaning they will have less of a chance of missing homework assignments, missed studying sessions etc...
  • Note: if they need tutoring try your best to make sure they get it from a qualified tutor, by their teachers & or an after school program.

Be a more caring & responsive parent - After all their your responsibility

  • Acting as if your kid's aren't your responsibility, like pawning off your parental responsibilities to others is a perfect way to show them you don't truly care.
  • Try to show some love to them, our children crave attention & loving care, so if you don't give it to them, there's going to be a great hole to be filled, that many people never forgive their parents for placing there, for the lack there of.
  • Facts: where a parent lacks, others will attempt to fill, & artificial love is the worst kind.
  • Remedy: try being honest & genuine with them in how you handle anything related to your child's nurturing process.
  • Note: if your parents didn't show love or care to you when you were a child, you may need counseling to learn how to care & love others. It all begins with self love, and takes a great deal of time to heal from any psychological damage you may have received from your own childhood.
  • This can happen ever so slightly even if you pawn your responsibility off to your spouse including response times to all situations that can & will arrise, this is the greatest potential in unseen damage to a child's psyche.

Growth requires good nutrition

  • Instead of always taking your children out to eat fast foods & stuffing them with snacks, try developing a pattern of healthy food shopping for organic products, cooking at home & eating at the table at home.
  • Following these tips will ensure good wholesome values that our children need to learn today.
  • Note: There's nothing like a good home cooked meal, if you need help learning to cook, there's many resources online such as EHow, where you can learn literally anything.


Good Nutrition works wonders

  • Eating in front of them without offering them any or simply not sharing at all, now that's plain training them to become selfish.
  • Definite Remedy: don't be stingy, sharing is caring & plan ahead to offer your food items; meaning don't go purchasing food only for you without thinking about them first, children actually should come first in anyone's book.
  • Forcing them to eat something that really taste nasty, like unseasoned uncooked vegetables, now that will make them lean more towards harmful foods.
  • Remedy: maybe try to work out a more sensible menu palette for your children, any forced acts that can & will make them sense your being overly controlling will possibly create a rejection complex, where they will begin to auto reject certain foods.
  • Also try organic alternative foods as opposed to processed foods, your kids senses are keen and can detect when something isn't right. (Juicing of veggies works wonders with fruits)
  • Listen to your kids when they tell you that something doesn't taste right, it can help you avoid many future issues in dealing with health issues, such as allergies and other unseen issues that are bound to arise.
  • Note:Wholefoods & Traders Joes are great stores to shop from to purchase organically grown food items.
  • There's also loads of recipes online to help assist parents in the cooking, & the food preparation process for many menu items for the family overall as well as for toddlers, young kids & teenagers.
  • Over doing it with anything can spell doom when it comes to children especially when it comes to food & feeding them unhealthy choices of food items, such as junk foods, candies & a host of other miscellaneous processed foods.
  • Fact: Many parents have the tendency to get extreme with things, if you overdo something it may become your child's extreme tendency in their future.
  • Remedy: try to become more balanced in what you indulge in doing in front of your children & seek more stability in good health, whether it be physical, mental or spiritual in nature so that happiness can be achieved on all levels possible.



Now this is really something bad to teach a child

No Nonsense - teach them bad habits spells doom for kids

  • Wrongful hitting in any form of physical abusiveness, torcherring, taunting, sexual abuse, or threatening them.
  • Acting as if they don't exist at all, not acknowledging them, & showing favoritism of one child over the other.
  • Remedy: let them know how important they are to you, & to themselves, simply give them attention when they need it, spend some much needed quality time with each child equally.
  • Note: try to make sure not to favor one child over the other to much, it tends to harbor jealousy in many children.
  • By sharing the love equally can help them to repeat the favor with one another, because favoritism can also create separatism.
  • Be wise and think before you do something in this area of parenting, because how you treat your children will reflect on you in the long run.
  • Bad habits like this one can and surely will come back to haunt you as your children mature in age, possibly even ruining the family cohesiveness we all desperately need today.
  • End result if the pattern of favoritism goes uncorrected: many children treated unfairly at such a high frequency throughout their youthful learning & development stages, will have the tendency to become loaner's.
  • Children can even experience unavoidable sibling rivalry's, that may not have existed otherwise, possibly suffer huge personal losses of love, maybe even develop personality complexes/disorders, the list goes on & on.
  • Especially those of whom have been somewhat singled out on a daily basis by their parents and eventually peers, as the unfavored one, and on some extreme cases throughout their entire youth and in many families it's a norm to do so.
  • This particular bad habit many parents exhibit to their kids, has the potential to somehow cause a development of a low self esteem, that's usually etched into the heart and mind of their child.

More by this Author


Comments 23 comments

Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 5 years ago from Asheville NC

Hi CloudExplorer!

Right On, my friend! As a coach and mentor of men I have so often seen the effects of parents abdicating their parental responsibility.

I have also come to see that there isn't one standard for every family and every child. But I will say that the items you have mentioned here can be used as a great guide for personal conduct and a springboard to communication with children.

In today's American Culture it's all bottom line driven. I hope we never forget that "an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure." - Benjamin Franklin

Voted Up and Interesting,

Bruce


Born2care2001 profile image

Born2care2001 5 years ago from Asheville NC

PS

Also thought it interesting and paradoxical that Ads by Google posted an ad for "Become A Vampire" - Just Sayin! LOL


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 5 years ago from New York City Author

I been through a great deal as a child, so I fully comprehend all these well known issues that many parents are responsible for creating & passing on to their children mostly unconsciously, because their parents done it to them, and if it goes unnoticed can create a sorta pre-programming into their personality as a sorta inherited personality trait, which may lead to an assortment of adult dis-orders. Thanks Born2care for reading. Yeah them google ad's are funny sometimes aren't they.


anglnwu profile image

anglnwu 5 years ago

You've explore every bit of parenting. It's so important to set good examples as your hub shows. I'm glad you offer suggestions and remedies to help the parenting process. Useful and rated up.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 5 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks anginwu for such kind words, I try my best to reach out to others through the usage of my own personal experience.

Hopefully it can help others to see what I have seen, & to grow and develop a better treatment for their own children someday.

The world would turn out to be a much better place if more people cared for one another, in a more well balanced fashion.


moiragallaga profile image

moiragallaga 5 years ago from Lisbon, Portugal

Excellent hub CloudExplorer. Leadership 101 notes that there is no better way to effectively influence and lead others than to do so by example. Applies to parents and their kids as well. You've shared a comprehensive list of actions and behaviors that parents must be careful about. This is very valuable advice.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 5 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks Moiragallaga, your comment has sparked a whole new idea entirely in me, and so I put this brand new Idea into action here.

Hopefully people's comments here can become valuable to the whole community as a whole on Hub, with the awesome usage of this Hubs new "Outreach Community listing", which will be primarily comprised of all fellow Hubbers comments, or suggestions to be add to such a helpful list of things to look out for, & helpful advice one may know of to add here for all parents who seek such helpful info in general.


Leaderofmany profile image

Leaderofmany 5 years ago from Back Home in Indiana

Great Hub, I would add never, never let your child go anywhere without knowing that you love them unconditionally and you are there for them no matter the choice they may make. This may make them stop and think before they do something they can't undo or get into that car when they know they shouldn't.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 5 years ago from New York City Author

Tnks Leader your suggestion was great, it was added as the first of soon to be many.


DadsRus profile image

DadsRus 5 years ago from London, England

Hi CloudExplorer,

What a fantastic Hub,I have cetainly taken many points onboard. It is so easy to fall into many of those traps! Just shows that we have to take a step back sometimes and look at ourselves as parents and question whether we are doing the right thing for ourselves or for our children!


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 5 years ago from New York City Author

Yes indeed DadsRus, we all can learn from one another, & surely through trial and error.

Hopefully one day all parents will come to realize how powerful an impact they truly have on their children, and can take notice to what it is they may need to change or adjust to bring about the changes in their kids, so we all can have a better outlook on life & the future itself as a whole.

Thanks for such a kind and insightful response, its nice to see that others are making steps to bring fourth useful change we all need.


kelleyward 4 years ago

Hi CloudExplorer! This is an excellent resource for parents. You packed this one full of information that is so important. Kids need parents who are there for them in many ways. It's hard being a parent but it's even harder being a child. Voted up and shared! Kelley


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks Kelleyward, you actually got me to proofread and edit this entire hub once again for clarity, and any potential errors, or much needed updates.

I truly been through a great deal as a child, and I'm sure many other folks can also vouch for such an experience themselves. So this hub was a must to write in its full entirety, and to get off of my shoulders.

Thanks for taking the time to get through it all, it isn't an easy hub to absorb all at once at all, since its loaded with real true to life facts, and words of advice for parents.

Mainly to help them become well aware of, surely if they haven't yet noticed in themselves, what they've been doing as a parent to potentially cause many of the reoccurring issues for their children today.


TeachableMoments profile image

TeachableMoments 4 years ago from California

Hello CloudExplorer, Thank you for writing such a great resource for parents. As an early educator and mother I always try to model appropriate responses for the children and families I work with as well as with my own daughter. You helped validate all the things I try to do everyday. I will refer my parents to your hubpage. Thanks again.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thanks @TeachableMoments for reading and for sharing my hub here with other parents you know of.

I know that amny parents worldwide definitely need help such as this, many need counseling, and its imperative that we try our best to reach out to the, and in more ways then one.

Hopefully my hub here can add to all the info that's already in circulation, as to help assist those parents in need of sound advise.


vicki goodwin profile image

vicki goodwin 4 years ago from Winchester Kentucky

Very useful information. You are correct it takes the adult abused child to break the circle of abuse. You have provided an informative tool to do that. Voted up!


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thank you @vicki goodwin, I hope more parent can also find this info here of much relevance and useful to them, because the world needs our help in this way.

Just maybe if more parents learn of what they've been doing wrong all of these years, things can be set a bit better into the more positive trends that we all desperately need for life to go today.

Thanks for the insight here and for sharing with me Vicki.


Deborah Brooks profile image

Deborah Brooks 4 years ago from Brownsville,TX

I am so glad I saw this on facebook.. Mike I agree with you wholeheartly I am sharing on facebook with some people I know that do these bad habits around their precious children.

Bless you for writing this

Debbie


homesteadbound profile image

homesteadbound 4 years ago from Texas

This truly is an amazing hub. Parents often joke that kids don't come with instruction manuals. This comes pretty darn close.

We adopted three children who had been severely abused and saw first hand much of what you have indicated above.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

@Deborah Brooks, thanks for giving my hub here a chance, when I first joined hubpages, I was truly fueled up with a totally different type of motivation, and had no clue what to write about, nor the understanding of limitations for over writing like this, and so I was simply loaded and like a loose cannon of sorts, just going at it with words, and things I been storing up for so many years since I was a child myself.

As you can see I been through a great deal as a child, much of this entire hub comes from my life experiences, and it was pretty intense growing up for sure.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 4 years ago from New York City Author

Thank you @homesteadbound for taking the time to read up on this hub I wrote a while back.

I didn't think to make this hub as it turned out to be up above though. I just keep on writing, and then editing, and editing, and after about a day and a half it was done, and I looked at it all, and was blown away myself.

I think I over did it though in terms of the overall lengthiness for a hub though, but its was OK, after I figured it wasn't about earning for me at that time anyhow, and it became much more about trying to help people, once I noticed what this hub had become actually.

Writing sometimes takes some cool directional turns I guess, and for me most of the time I have no clue where it is to end up actually, and so I just keep on going like an energizer bunny, no need for me to look back anyhow, right!


Gina 4 years ago

Thank you Cloud Explorer for writing this awesome hub. I feel like I don't know what I'm doing sometimes as far as raising my kids. I keep asking my kids where their 'manual' is so I can start following directions. LOL Seriously though,this hub is excellent & with such very useful,encouraging information. Thank you.


CloudExplorer profile image

CloudExplorer 3 years ago from New York City Author

@Gina, thanks for the comment sorry I missed it here a while back, yes all these things are so very relevant today and I learned much of it from growing up with parents who had no clue what they were doing for the most part.

My mother did the best she could with me and my older brother, but when she remarried things went downhill with her screaming and yelling at my younger brothers all the time, I knew it wasn't the right way to go and all.

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