Be a better Parent!
Some pitfalls while Parenting
Sarcastic put downs, name calling etc. serve to break a childs self esteem. You may think you are skilled in "reverse psychology" which is a big word you heard on telly, but the truth is this backward thinking isn't what the child needs. It's like putting a plant in a greenhouse when it has suffered a drought having no rain for however long. So reverse your thinking and start giving encouragement and praise in healthy doses.
Are you the type of parent who tries to solve your childrens problems. I know the temptation, the chilod is distressed, and as a last resort you can be more guiding, but in the meantime listen to them,n discuss what solutions they are looking at, and be forthright if you don't think something will work say so. But the important things are having time for them to hear these problems and not stop them thinking for themselves which will happen if you give them answers all the time.
Furthermore, if you're likely to rush off and confront the situation for the child you'll do more damage. Suppose the child has a bed wetting problem and you go see a teacher about it. Congratulations your stressed out child now at the very least has the worry of the teacher blurting something out and peer/s taking up the chorus and having to deal with unwanted comments. At worst walls have ears and the whole school, it seems gets to know about it. Well done you've succeeded in humiliating your child whom in their hurt and pain in what is often a symptom of sexual abuse is now less able to talk to you because now not only is there the problem of 'how do i say it, will i be believed' etc. There is will parent tell the world?
Or worse march off and confront the attacker. With bullying Grandma always went round to a neighbours as they were trouble, but she always came back having picked up their lies and mis-truths, or a bit I'd forgotten to disclose, and bang I got it all over again. Why create a drama for yourself? Why tell some-one who will turn against you? And no doubt give their impression of you in careless conversation that tends to get used as ammunition!
Do You try to force a child to eat foods just because you like them, or the science says "it's good for you" or you force them to eat it all because thousands of miles away people they nor you have ever met are starving! -|Why not pack it up and send it to them??? In any case You've managed to alienate your child making food and family times miserable! Worst thing is these family times are likely few and far between as no time to talk is scheduled. Then you'll wonder why your child rebells in adolescence and by then things will have broken down so much you can't wait till they move out. And guess what, neither can they!!!
So, how can you improve? Look at the hints above. How can you reverse this trend? For one thing put foods in a bowl. Allow each to get some, but limit the size of the spoon, and allow for seconds once firsts are done. Don't push anything, though if you think the young ones have forgotten something tthey like have a quiet word, remember to smile, cheekily but gently nudge the arm and say in a half whisper "have you forgot ..." or words to the effect make sure they know they can miss a bowl. If child doesn't like sprouts will they have cabbage. Sometimes peas are more inviting when mushy or vice-versa in some cases /sometimes?
To cap it all off
What are you like when some-one calls for your child? The best parents will see weho it is before the door is open and find out if the child wants to even speak to the visitor!
The worst parent comes up with "He says he's not in!", Or demands their flesh and blood goes to the door. It may be rude not to, but suppose you have the opinion that your child is worthless and lucky if any-one calls at all!
Then I say You're too interfering and should look more at your own life, perhaps get your own!
Maybe it is an honour to be called for5. But suppose these assumed friends have tried the neighbours kids who weren't in, have upset the kid round the corner who won't let them in, so now these so called friends are down to the dregs of the party! Or worse they are actually bullying the chilsd in some way. There's more ways to do this than physical or directly physical. But if you don't rate your child much I suggest you invite this on them and have little concern so long as the "burden" is out of your way for awhile.
Just don't expect the child to thank you for it. The worst parent makes a child befriend a bully in the hopes that child won't be bullied. I can tell you from personal experience as a child that is very flawed. Once a bully ALWAYS a bully!!!
But what happened to the proverb. "A child is a blessing on a house". They can help you see things in different ways so you don't miss the moon for its crescent.
To change or not to change
Go-on then criticize -after all, that's about all you've done withy everything up to now.
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