Arguments for and against Surrogacy

Surrogacy
Surrogacy

What is Surrogacy?

Surrogacy is when a woman agrees to become pregnant and delivers a child for other people such as a couple who is unable to. There are times when the woman is the real genetic mother of the child but there are also times when they implant the female with an embryo and the woman is merely a carrier of the child, as if a container for the development of the embryo until its birth.

There are many different and opposing views regarding surrogacy. There are many arguments for and against surrogacy. There are many people who consider this practice as immoral and of course there are also those that consider it as something that is acceptable.

The legality of surrogacy is different for every country. There are countries that consider the birth mother as the legal mother while there are those that don't. In countries such as India, surrogacy is legal and is actually considered as commercial where many women are earning profits from surrogacy. India is now considered as the world's leading surrogacy-related tourism destination where many foreigners are looking to have a woman to be a carrier of their child. 

Arguments for and Against Surrogacy

It is very beneficial to those who cannot conceive their own baby. There are some people though that view this as a form of selling or soliciting a woman's body which may be related to prostitution. Those against prostitution see this as very immoral and a form of degrading women. Those who are for it are, on the other hand, believe in the woman's freedom and sovereignty over her own body and have the right to become a carrier if she wished. It is not different from adoption, if the woman is in case the real genetic mother, or if they implant her with an embryo, she is not genetically related to the baby and is just sort of a means of helping other couples who cannot conceive.

There are also arguments that say that surrogacy is somewhat related to donation of organs such as donating kidneys, where there are many places in the world where it is illegal. Those who are not in favor of surrogacy also talk about the mother and child relationship. Most of them say that there is nothing like the care and love that can come from a real birth mother.

Surrogacy

All in all, there really are a lot of debates about it and there is really no way of saying that it is wrong or immoral. In many places it is considered as okay. It is really all about tolerance. There really is no one being hurt by this process and for as long as there is consent from the woman, I don't think there is anything wrong with it. It makes no sense to me how the mother and child relationship could be important if it is just an implanted embryo and the woman or carrier is in no way related to the child.

Like I have said, there are many arguments for and against surrogacy and it is almost an endless debate that will never end. For those who are considering surrogacy, you should really do more research about it first such as the safety, the legal matters, and the morality of it all. I am not really saying it is wrong or it is right. There are really many ways we can look at it.

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Comments 13 comments

Lisa HW profile image

Lisa HW 6 years ago from Massachusetts

Surrogacy is a complicated thing, and I enjoyed your discussion of it. I'm not opposed to it for other people (for the most part), although I'm not sure it's something people don't get into, only to later find it's loaded with reason for regrets.

My kids are grown now, so this is something that has come in conversation at one time or another. One of my sons is an adopted son. The other two children are children from my marriage to their father.

I've often joked (but also mean it) to me kids that any child I have is MINE. Any child I raise from infancy is MINE. And, if I were to donate eggs to someone else, that child would be MINE, just the same as way as the child of a man whose former girlfriend has a baby and who doesn't even know the child is biologically his. So, I've joked to my kids (and others) that when it comes to babies and children, if I have anything to do with them at all (within the the whole "mothering picture" anyway), I consider them "mine" (and I don't mean in a possessive way. I just mean in terms of feeling like their mother and feeling the relationship is a special one).

I don't think it's because I'm a woman either, because my kids' father has said he wouldn't be willing to donate (as the male donor) for much the same reasons I've mentioned here.

I had two successful pregnancies and one that failed at 20 weeks. Believe me, when I was expecting those babies, and after my son and daughter were born; the last thing I cared about was whose egg they came from. It was all about the fact that I was carrying those babies, and all about the fact that I delivered them. Later, it wasn't even about that. It was about bonding with them after bringing them home and raising them.

Believe me, there's a whole lot of potential for bonding that goes on once that embryo turns into a growing fetus and before the baby is born. There is "sense" is that, and there's also a lot of human nature in that. I would be cautious about hiring a surrogate who was capable of separating her feelings about the baby, because I'd be worried that she wasn't sufficiently in tune with the feelings that can occur during pregnancy and after delivery.


Harry Santos profile image

Harry Santos 6 years ago from Metro Manila, Philippines Author

Wow, that's a very interesting point of view from a real mother. Thank you for your insight :)


stephanie1234 profile image

stephanie1234 5 years ago

i think surrogacy is a good thing as you would be helping another family or woman to have something in life that they are UN able to have by themselves they need the help of another womans body and they might even have to have an embryo implanted as the container of a babies body for a nine month period so i think surrogacy is a god thing in life.


helmutbiscut profile image

helmutbiscut 5 years ago from Ohio

I am a mother of four children, and I also was a gestational surrogate. I carried twins for a couple who had one child. The mother had to have an emergency hysterectomy after the birth of her daughter and was unable to carry another child. It was an honor to help them. As for the maternal bond, I did not have it. I took care of those babies the best I could, knowing that they were not mine and that they would be going home with their parents after they were born. I still love visiting with them and seeing how they are doing, but I have never felt like they were mine because, well, they never were.

I am also a social worker/adoption assessor. Not only have I had the privilege to be a surrogate, I have also helped people grow their families through adoption. Adoption is not for everyone, and surrogacy is not for everyone. The good thing is, there are options for people who have fertility issues.


jhon 3 years ago

really helpful for R.E homework thanks!!


Camilla 3 years ago

Hey. In my country, Norway, surrogati is illegal. Therefore many couples who cannot have their own child or cannot adopt, have to travel abroad where surrogacy is legal. Many of them visited India, but recently India changed their rules which make it impossible for couples in Norway to use a surrogate in India. I think this is a very interesting topic and am now supposed to talk about surrogacy in front of my class. This article helped me! Thank you.


person 3 years ago

I know that an adopted child wont be happy with their perents because they wont belive what their owners did to them and sometimes you never know is they are adopted by a stranger that harems kids and they will teach them to do stuff that could get them arrested and in more than trouble so be careful on what you do with your child because you never know what will happen with your loving child that you love so much and they wont let you see your kid


Bambina 2 years ago

From the beginning I want to say sorry for my long story. But the main opinion of my story is that I don’t regret everything I overcame. Parenthood was worth all my infertility troubles. Losing money is the lowest loss among all I had. And thanks to surrogate mothers who save us from suicide. They bring infertile women to life giving them sense of existence. When I was 28 years old I went through a serious surgery during which doctors had to dissect my ovarium out. Medical workers warned me of the consequences in future, in particular infertility. I had no choice in the matter because we did not think about fertility at that moment but how to save my life. Being 30 years old my husband and I gave thought to child. Having known my diagnosis we understood that I can bear a child only with the help of donor eggs and IVF program. Therefore, we gave a second thought to reproductive medical programs, studied all information and chose the country where we can take advantage of ART. India is one of the well postered among such countries. Price for donation program is rather handsome in addition we wanted to see tourist India. So my husband and I packed our bags and flew to South Asia. We chose reproductive medicine clinic that is in Anand city. There we were met by a friendly, pleasant woman - clinic director. She told us that all their donors are faith worthy - none of them smoke, drink alcohol or take drugs. Medical program takes place under doctors’ control and in accordance with all norms. Be that as it may, but all donors there are of Hindu race. We have nothing against people of other nationalities but still we wanted child to be like us, as far as possible in this case. We have taken note of the Indian clinic and decided to look for another one. Spain, clinic in Barcelona was a second enter we opted for. Visiting Spanish center we were impressed with the high level of organization and services quality. Having got to know all programs’ proposals and conditions we signed the contract. After medical examinations (tests, ultrasound and semen analysis) we have chosen a suitable donor and began stimulation. I took hormonal drugs during more than a month. Program was conducted with the use of frozen oocytes. Embryo transfer did not last long but was rather painful. Unfortunately, the result was negative – I was not pregnant. Doctors explained that it happens so because not all are lucky to become pregnant on the first try. As a result, they twisted our arm and we agreed for another two IVF attempts in their clinic. It should be noted that during this time we have spent a lot of money. We had to pay separately for each IVF attempt. In addition, expenses for accommodation, meal, transfer, some medicines and flight was also shouldered as a burden. But it is not the most important thing, because our dream was so long-awaited child. After three attempts in Spain we have not reached our goal. After we came back home we talked to those who also went through donation program. In addition we studied information about eggs cryopreservation and realized that the problem was just in freeze. Process of cryopreservation of genetic material adversely affects its quality that’s why very often the result is negative. Having already some experience and being taught from own mistakes we continued our search for the ideal clinic. In a word, being disappointed in clinics, we realized that we just cannot financially be able to buy more than one attempt. And we found Ukrainian BioTexCom Centre. The price pleasantly surprised us - we paid 30 thousand euros for the surrogacy program. But, it is important to note, this price included accommodation, meals, transfers, meeting at the airport and all medical procedures. And not a penny more! We were amazed that after the first attempt our surrogate mother got pregnant! We left Ukraine at the end of the program with no problems and did all the paperwork for the child easily. Today we are happy parents!


Juliet 2 years ago

My husband and me faced one of their darkest moments. When we understood we couldn’t have children without life-threatening complications. I had my first child in 2008. But the pregnancy led to the development of an Rh incompatibility. That caused my body to create antibodies that would attack the blood of children I later conceived. I become pregnant in a year. Unfortunately, I lost the baby at four months. Later on I had the same experienced in two years. I lost my second child. It’s hard to say how it was more painful. Two losses had a big impact on our lives. Our hope totally disappeared. We had a lot of medical tests and consultations. Finally our doctor gave us bad news. He said us that we couldn’t continue to conceive. The adverted us that the future pregnancies would be life-threatening for the child. We were frustrated. We didn’t know what to do. We tried to find out the best solution. My husband suggested me adoption. But I would like that the baby would be connected genetically with me. That’s why we were obliged to start researching the new possibilities.The doctor suggested us to do surrogacy with egg donation. For us it was difficult to take up such decision. However, we didn’t have other options. We considered where it would be better to do. We were surprised that surrogacy was legal just in few countries. We need to find out all the peculiarities, all the specific of the process. We are from USA. Surrogacy is legal in some states of our country. But it costs too much via agency. Then we started looking for the surrogate independently. We found a lot of ads of surrogates. In a fact, we faced a lot of problems. We were new at this process. We needed a lawyer to regulate the process.The services of the lawyer turned out to be rather expensive. Then we calculated all the possible expenses for all the medical test and consultations for surrogate mother. We would also have to pay a big sum of money personally for the surrogate. And we would have to pay for IVF procedure. In total all the expenses would be huge. And the thing that frightened us was that we couldn’t take any control of the surrogate.It would be difficult psychologically. I thought that there should be third unbiased part. It would be unbelievably hard to cope with everything. So we rejected this idea with independent surrogate in the USA. We found good reviews about clinics in Ukraine. We got to know that the total program in Ukraine cost less it would cost in the US. We decided got on a roll. We got to know about Biotexcom from other couple. This Ukrainian clinic is rather popular. Before going to Ukraine the first time I contacted to a manager. She gave me all the necessary information. After that we could plan and arrange our arrival. When we came to Kiev we were met by a driver from that clinic. He took us to the hotel. The hotel was rather cozy. Actually, we didn’t expect that it would be so nice. Because the transfer and hotel was free of charge for us. We were not obliged to sign the contract. The next day we had an appointment with the doctor. The driver came to take us for the clinic. It was early in the morning, approximately about 8 o’clock. The manger I contacted previously met us and explained the agenda for the day. We felt a little bit uncomfortable because only managers spoke English. Then we got accustomed. The manager explained us everything. My husband had to take semen analysis and blood test. I had to do blood test, too. The embryologist gave the results of semen analysis in an hour. After getting the result we could talk with the doctor. The doctor studied all our medical records. She answered our questions. Then we discussed the peculiarities for the contract. And finally we singed it. I was prescribed the medicament for ovary stimulation. Approximately in 5 weeks I had a puncture. We were lucky to start the program very soon. There are of couples. Most of them have to wait about 2 or three months. There was a free surrogate mother in the stimulation. She turned to be compatible for me and my husband. In general everything was perfect. Briefly speaking I was satisfied with our decision. One of the most considerable advantages of this clinic was successful result. I was satisfied with medical staff and manager’s work. They were really attentive to us. The prices were affordable, too. There were a lot of lines. We had to wait about three hours without eating anything. It seemed that I could lose consciousness. It was a little bit inconvenient. But it was ok. I understand that everywhere it is possible to find drawbacks. Our manager accompanied us when we were in the clinic. You know waiting several months meant nothing for us after waiting years before. We met our surrogate mother at the week twelve. It was a beautiful young woman of 27 years. She had two children of her of own. We came in two weeks before the delivery. The maternity house was different than the American one. After delivery the process of child registration took about one month. The Biotexcom prepared for us the package of documents for the Embassy. We got the medical certificate from the maternity house. Then we got birth certificate at civil registry office in our names. The surrogate mother wrote renunciation from the child. All the documents were translated and apostilled. Then we came to Embassy of USA with all the documents. We also had to take the additional DNA test there. Besides that, we did one in the clinic. The whole process took about a month. In the conclusion, we got passport of US citizenship for our baby. Biotexcom helped my dreams come true. I am happy to realize that all that way was done not in vane. We achieved success. I think that all the couples believe in happy end they will get it for sure. The only thing is to have the real and sincere desire. We were also lucky to have experience with Biotexcom, and we didn’t go anywhere else.


Lindsey 20 months ago

I am sick and tired of these who accuse Assisted Reproduction Technologies and yell around how immoral IVF or surrogacy are. You, who have never felt the despair of loosing a 8 month fetus, you, who haven’t felt miserable when doc put a lable «infertile» on you, how can you blame us-people unable to get a baby naturally? You don’t estimate what you have and you won’t understand us, searching for our last hope to become parents in ferility centers! Everyone understands that there are medical, moral and psychological challenges. Surrogacy is one of the most difficult challenges. They help a lot of couples to feel happiness of fatherhood and motherhood. They also helped me and my husband. I don’t regret about our decision to do surrogacy. We had a wonderful surrogate at BioTexCom. I am sure that surrogacy is salvation for many couples. Ukrainian doctors are well-qualified and have good reputation all over the medical world. In addition, prices there are much lower in comparising to these in USA or Western Europe. So, to my mind, Ukrainian reproduction medecine has bright future. it can be said that reproductive medicine there is on an appropriate level. Due to the fact that this is the country of third world doctors and their methods of infertility treatment are great. And in addition we liked Ukraine very mush as it is extremely beautiful country with interesting rich history and wonderful places of interest.


Claritta 19 months ago

Hi girls! Happy to meet people succeeded in Ukraine) Iwill be happy to share my experience. I had conversations with families who after decided to go in Biotexcom and now they achieved full family and very happy) I know that couples who had failed in other ivf clinics, were succeeded there, even after the first try. I have my beautiful daughter and very happy. Actually I can tell that every clinic has its pros and cons. As I understood my clinic is very popular among foreigners. Always when I came in clinic, it was full of clients from different countries. There were huge lines to doctor. Always we spent much time waiting the procedures. Clinic is not big and sometimes it was a problem to find a place to rest. And I remember their rude nurse)) But advantages of the clinic are more significant... As for surrogate mother, I wanted to choose it by myself. But doctor said that it was her job to find appropriate surrogate. Not important how she looks like, but they should check her health properly. I didn't like it, but finally I was completely satisfied with doctor's choice. Our surrogate was clever and handsome enough) I hadn't any doubts that she was caring about our child.


Sarrah Do 14 months ago

Thanks here... This helps a lot in our debate as opposing..


Carryhud 9 months ago

I think if you consider surrogacy, there are no other alternatives for you, of course except of adoption. Some time ago I was ready to give everything for the opportunity to become a mother. Biologically I am not the child's mother, I have no eggs and due to cancer and I lost my uterus. I had no variants. But my husband could be a father and give our child his genes. Surrogacy is illegal where i live, we started looking for

variants abroad, here a cost varies greatly. We liked the proposal of

clinic in Ukraine, I am not gonna get focused on it, but we found advantages

for ourselves, especially considering the cost. After 1.5 years we became

parents . And it is pricelessly.

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