Being a First Time Parent

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Bringing Baby Home

Many times when first time parents bring their new baby home, they want things to be perfect.

The only thing is making things perfect is never going to work with babies because they are the ones who are changing the parents' lives.

The one mistake parents make is trying to keep the house quiet so the baby can sleep.

No, stop right there!

  • Turn on the TV
  • Listen to music
  • Talk in a normal voice

Don’t change your house to help the baby sleep.

The baby will adapt to the environment and will sleep and be content when he or she hears the normal sounds of the household.

Source
Newborn Checklist
Newborn Checklist | Source

Baby Supplies

Hopefully, you have had baby showers and received many things you need. There are items that people don’t think about. First, start clipping coupons because babies cost a lot of money and every little bit helps. Buy newborn diapers and the next size up – you will be amazed at how fast the baby grows. Go to a big store like Sam’s and buy a box with six to eight packs of baby wipes. Don’t worry about name brands. The baby doesn’t care and there is no difference in many products. If you like name brands, buy a Huggies carton and a Huggies diaper bag wipes box and place your off brand wipes in them. The one thing I do remember is that the Huggies’ carton was sturdier and did keep the moisture in the wipes.

You will also want plenty of bottle nipples even if you are breastfeeding. If you are breastfeeding, you will want to express your milk and keep it in the refrigerator so your husband can feed and bond with the baby, too. The bottle nipples get sticky when you least expect it. Same goes with pacifiers, if you choose to use them.

Even if you are not using cloth diapers, buy a box for burp clothes to wear on your shoulder. You will also want diaper pads to lay the baby on to change diapers anywhere. When people say you carry everything but the kitchen sink when going anywhere with a baby, they are speaking the truth.

If you did not get a baby swing in your shower, save your money and go buy one. Baby swings are life savers when you need to do something around the house while having the baby in the same room with you.

Take Advantage of Sleep Time
Take Advantage of Sleep Time | Source

Crying Time and Sleeping Time

Warning, your sleep and sanity are going to be tested with a newborn. No, seriously, having a newborn is the most joyous time, but it does take patience, and you will not be sleeping well for a long time.

First, patience… Most babies have a crying time each day on their own little schedule. You cannot do anything to stop the baby from crying. You can’t hold the baby, walk the baby, swing the baby, rub the baby’s back, or rock the baby. Trust me, you will try all of these things. You just have to let the baby cry it out. Sounds awful, and you feel awful when letting your baby cry. You can do your best to sooth the baby and pray it works. If you get frustrated, though, keep your cool. Make sure the baby is safely placed on its back in the crib or place the baby in the swing and pray the swing will soothe the baby. Stay with the baby to make sure there is no choking. Be patient. The crying time will stop.


Daddy-Baby Bonding Time
Daddy-Baby Bonding Time | Source

Sleep time is so peaceful. Many newborns sleep for most of the day and night. Don’t try to wake them up by patting their feet or gently rocking them. Let them sleep, and you should sleep, too. Cherish their sleep time. Also, your husband needs to bond with your baby, too. It is very easy for new moms to want to do everything. You must get help from your baby’s father. He needs to take at least one nightly feeding in the middle of the night because you need your sleep, too. If he balks, don’t worry, he will bond with the baby during these times. It may even become a competition between the two of you - "Which one of us can get to the baby first?" Let him take the baby when he is home, especially when you are trying to recover from child birth.

Hint for sleep time that most doctors will not tell you. If you are breast feeding, make a bottle for the last feeding at night and add a teaspoon of powdered formula to it. It gives your milk more substance and keeps the baby from getting hungry until later in the night. Long ago, doctors recommended the bland rice, no iron or bananas because they will constipate the baby, to be spoon feed to the 3 week old baby for the last feeding (in addition to breast feeding or formula). That advice won’t be given today, but the proof that we adults made it out of our newborn time is proof that we survived our mothers feedings with “formula or rice additives.”

Have a Trusted Babysitter
Have a Trusted Babysitter | Source

Have a Sitter You Can Depend On

Be sure you have a trusted friend or relative who you trust to take care of your baby. You and your husband will need alone time together. About a month after the baby is born, you should leave the baby with a sitter and start a date night tradition. Babies and children are time consuming. You need your time with your husband and sometimes you need time just for yourself. You must take care of yourself physically and mentally, so have a trusted person on hand to help you out when you need it. Most of us are fortunate enough to have people lined up to take care of the baby. If you live away from your friends and loved ones, you might try joining a church or a young mother’s group. Just do not neglect yourself.

Dedication to My Mother

I am the last of eight children and my mother was the first of seven. Much of my advice has been passed down to me from many of the women in my family, mainly my mother. She left this earth January 28, 2010. I miss her terribly, but she left me with a wealth of common sense knowledge to share with you. I hope you find this advice helpful. I used it and it worked. I had great babies, and now they are great people at ages19 and 26.

Thanks, Mother! You were the only person I knew who could get a baby to stop crying, even during crying time.

© 2012 Susan Holland

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Comments 55 comments

Marcy Goodfleisch profile image

Marcy Goodfleisch 4 years ago from Planet Earth

What a genuinely helpful and informative hub! It's been a long while since I brought home my firstborn, and even now, I read this hub and wish I had know these things (or understood them better) back then. So many moms-to-be will thank you for this information! Voted up and across (well, not funny!).


Anamika S profile image

Anamika S 4 years ago from Mumbai - Maharashtra, India

You have covered it all! It is very important to be prepared when you are a first time parent. Voted up and useful!


Rusticliving profile image

Rusticliving 4 years ago from California

Wonderful wealth of info for first time mothers as well as "doing it again" mommies. Beautiful dedication to your mother. Voted up and shared. :)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Marcy, it has been awhile since I had a newborn too, but it seems like yesterday. :-) I had a great support system with great advice.

Thank you for dropping by and the votes!


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thank you, Anamika! I hope it is helpful to new moms. Thanks for dropping by and the votes! :-)


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Those were the days. Your hub almost had me convinced to do it again! Since that's not going to happen I will continue to enjoy welcoming my grandbabies into the world. With a few hubbers that I know of having babies this article will be appreciated.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thank you, Rusticliving! My mother was a wealth of information with all her experience.

I appreciate you dropping by, voting, and sharing! :-)


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

oh sholland, such a beautiful hub and a touchy tribute for your mom.

I remember checklisting all the above when I had mine. However, could not interpret when my kid would cry...what was it for? food, dirty diaper or what..lol

luckily we had a helpline nurse and she would be able to tell me.

voted up and sharing.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thanks, Linda! I may need to print it off for future grand babies. I do hope it is helpful to new mothers.

Thanks for dropping by! :-)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Ruchira, I remember having those feelings of not knowing what to do. That's when I picked up the phone and called my mom. She was a jewel!

Thanks for dropping by, voting, and sharing! :-)


Debby Bruck profile image

Debby Bruck 4 years ago

Dear Susan ~ Sounds like you have many hours of baby care-taking under your belt and have given wise advice to new moms. I really adore the baby photos. Aren't they sweet when asleep? Coooo.... Blessings, Debby


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Hi Debby! I do have a "few" years. LOL. I loved those sleeping babies that I could hold and rock. My kids slept so much when they were newborns. It was such a wonderful time.

Thanks so much for dropping by! :-)


Billy6507 profile image

Billy6507 4 years ago

nice article. very good tips for newbies.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thanks, Billy! I appreciate you dropping by! :-)


J.S.Matthew profile image

J.S.Matthew 4 years ago from Massachusetts, USA

These are some great tips for those expecting for the first time! Great Hub sholland10! Voting up and SHARING!

JSMatthew~


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thanks, JS! I appreciate you dropping by, voting, and sharing!! :-)


marcoujor profile image

marcoujor 4 years ago from Jeffersonville PA

Susan,

Your Mother taught you well and this is indeed a beautiful tribute to her. I believe that she is proud of you and watches over you at all times.

One of my nursing students who works in OB/ GYN shared a book reference with me called The Fourth Trimester. It describes precisely what you discuss about the first months a child is born and the need for a continuation of the 'noisy environment that is present in the womb'. Moms do this intuitively by swooshing in the baby's ear and swaddling the baby very tightly in their arms, just like the closeness of the womb, etc...

Really beautiful piece. Voted UP & UABI. Hugs, mar.


roxanne459 profile image

roxanne459 4 years ago from Washington

Thank you for laying these out in a way that's very easy to read and entertaining! ;)


Nicole 75 profile image

Nicole 75 4 years ago

I know about it. It is the most beautiful moments of every girls life.. Thanks for sharing such a beautiful hub and congrats...

voted up and shared...


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

Susan....We are expecting a new delivery in late July...I am always amazed at how ecstatic and giggly I feel each and every time. I can hardly contain my excitement.

The pictures....OMG...I can literally feel their softness and that indescribable "New Baby Scent" that is like nothing else in the Universe. I am certain, the word "Angel" came to the "first" parents the moment they held their newborn. It is impossible to keep from falling madly in love......


missolive profile image

missolive 4 years ago from Texas

Parenting has been one of my greatest joys. Although the first few weeks with a newborn are exhausting they are nothing less than beautiful moments. I cherish those days in my heart. Each milestone brings pride and joy for this mom. I can get a bit teary eyed when it comes to my children and their accomplishments. :)

Back to your hub. Children are definitely not born with instruction manuals. It can all seem overwhelming and tedious. Finding the right pace and schedule takes a bit of time. You have offered many wonderful tips. Thank you for sharing your knowledge!

voted up and shared!


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thank you, Mar! I remember "shh-shh-shh'ing" in my babies' ears. I did it because I remember seeing my mom do it with my nieces and nephews, and it seemed to help. You are so right about it sounding like it might in the womb. So interesting!

Thanks for dropping by and the votes!! :-)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

@Roxanne, I am glad you found it easy to read and entertaining. :-)

@Nicole, it really is a beautiful time in a girl's life or just parents in general.

Thanks for dropping by!! :-)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Paula, CONGRATULATIONS on the new arrival to your family. Awww, the baby scent - isn't it just perfect?? My favorite thing is to rub my cheek on a soft baby head. Such precious moments... Mine aren't babies anymore, but I am still madly in love with them.

So glad you dropped by and shared your news! :-)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Marissa, I completely know what you mean about the milestones and tearing up. Motherhood is such a wonderful thing. You and I would be the type who would sit together all day swapping pictures and stories of our wonderful children. :-)

Thanks so much for your kind words, and I am so glad you dropped by!! Thank you for the votes and shares! :-)


RealHousewife profile image

RealHousewife 4 years ago from St. Louis, MO

Aww so cute:). It has been a long time since I've had a baby around! There's many years between my 1st and 2nd - all the rules changed during that time! It used to be sleep them on their backs - no! The stomach! No! The back! Lol. I had them all sleep on their sides:) lol.

Excellent advice! My babies - none of them cried much - in fact I called my doc with the first one - I said "there must be something wrong with my baby - all it wants to do is sleep! It doesn't cry or anything...!". He actually said , "Kelly - why are you calling me?". (I thought that was obvious!) he said "so many mothers would be so jealous of you - just let her sleep!"

Well - how was I to know? Everyone said that baby would cry all the time and have colic....now laugh with me,...HAHAHA, ok I was lucky 3 times like that:)))


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Hey Kelly! I was lucky with my kids, too! I laid them on their sides because SIDS was in the news a lot "back then." I also had my kids 7 years apart, and it was like the first time with each one of them. I made a similar phone calls to my mom and doctor about the babies sleeping all the time (except for their crying time), and I got the same response. LOL "What are you thinking, woman! Leave that child alone and try to get some rest!" LOL

Sounds like you and I were very lucky and still are with our great kids!

So glad you dropped by! :-)


Better Yourself profile image

Better Yourself 4 years ago from North Carolina

Lots of great info! Thanks for sharing!


Courtney L J profile image

Courtney L J 4 years ago

Wow - hadn't fully thought through the nerves that must come with bringing home your first baby! You provide a logical and calming response to the anxiety that must come during this time.


srinivasan chetty 4 years ago

At First Thanks to God to give nice cute child to give him well for all family get the JOY about this Baby.

First Is Feel God's Gift nice Child (Boy or Baby)

Feel Healthy & Happy

Feel Right thinking, Happened also be RIGHT.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Better Yourself, Courtney, and Srinivasan, thank you for your comments. Bringing a baby home is such a joyful time, but there are definitely times of anxiety. The joy outweighs the anxiety, though. :-)

Thanks so much for dropping by! :-)


racksjackson profile image

racksjackson 4 years ago from New York

I am a father of my 4 month old baby . Being a father , it is a nice and great feeling . Nobody can not express lovely feeling because it is great experience.

After reading your blog , you have covered each and every moment when you are a first time parent.

Great hub !


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Racks, every moment is precious.

Thanks for dropping by! :-)


mikeydcarroll67 4 years ago

You can prepare and need to be able to have the stuff necessary to be able to do that. You've covered that quite well and I think that is important. But there is an element of just getting into it and taking it a day at a time.


knowyouwillbefine 4 years ago

Parenthood is really daunting to me... but I am really looking forward to it...when i'm ready ^_^


cclitgirl profile image

cclitgirl 4 years ago from Western NC

I'm bookmarking this. I don't have kids, yet, but this will come in handy when I do. :) Thanks for compiling this awesome hub!


Sinea Pies profile image

Sinea Pies 4 years ago from Northeastern United States

Having a sitter to depend on is SO important. New parents need some breaks to refresh and regain energy. GREAT point! I have an infant-topic hub coming up and this is going in as a link. What a great hub. Voted up and useful.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Hello All, I normally like to respond to each comment, but there has been a death in my family so I am unable to do that.

I am not sure there is ever a perfect time to have a baby even though I do think life feels perfect when we bring our babies home. It is hard to remember life before my kids. We need to prepare and also realize we have to take care of ourselves to be better parents.

Thank you for dropping by, commenting, voting, sharing, and linking. I appreciate you so much.


ecoggins profile image

ecoggins 4 years ago from Corona, California

We have five children, but I can remember like it was yesterday when we brought home our first child, Aleksandra Nicole. We had heard that newborns will often have a time between 6 and 9 in the evening when they will scream due to the overload of stimulation. And, sure enough 8 or 9 in the evening would come along and we would be pulling our hair out wondering how to get the child to "shut up", while at the same time cursing ourselves for being such lousy parents.

As the days past into weeks we learned to become less tense in those times of wailing which gave Aleksandra an assurance that everything was going to be okay and lessened the wailing from two hours to one hour to one-half hour to relative calm.

With each child our relative level of anxiety waned. It is as one person said, "with the first child when the pacifier (binky) falls to the ground you pick it up and boil it before putting it back in the baby's mouth. With the second child you run the pacifier under hot water. With the third child you run it under water. With the fourth, you brush the pacifier off on your sleeve. And, with the fifth, you say what the heck and shove it back in the babies mouth without thinking twice about it."


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

EC, LOL And I bet all your children are just fine, too, even the last one with the dirty binky... LOL I am the last of eight, so I am not sure what the standard was for the first one, but I know I survived as the last one from a time when there were fewer rules. I also know the advice I gave came from my mother, sisters, and grandmother and it has been proven true.

Thanks so much for sharing your knowledgeable insights! I appreciate you dropping by! :-) (I apologize for not getting back to you sooner. We have had a death in our family, so I have not gotten to answer my comments in a timely manner.)


johnakc profile image

johnakc 4 years ago from New Delhi

Very nice tips, now you have reduced my worries and fears of having a baby which otherwise I was speculating. Now it seems that having baby and caring for that is simple and very pleasant experience.

thanks..

:)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Hi John! Babies aren't simple, but there are some things you can do to make them and you more comfortable. They are the most wonderful gift. Thanks for reading! :-)


leros003 profile image

leros003 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Although I'm years away from being a first time parent, this is a great read. Very informative and truthful :)


Shihab Mahmud profile image

Shihab Mahmud 4 years ago from Dhaka

Extremely useful and awesome!


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thanks, Leros! I love your picture. :-)


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

Great advice but there is a reason doctors have changed their advice over the years: "Hint for sleep time that most doctors will not tell you. If you are breast feeding, make a bottle for the last feeding at night and add a teaspoon of powdered formula to it. It gives your milk more substance and keeps the baby from getting hungry until later in the night. Long ago, doctors recommended the bland rice, no iron or bananas because they will constipate the baby, to be spoon feed to the 3 week old baby for the last feeding (in addition to breast feeding or formula). That advice won’t be given today-"

Check with your doctor or the most recent newborn books before you take advice from us older parents. If we found something that worked for us, we feel like we invented the wheel. Advice changes over the years for good reasons.

The first six weeks with a newborn is the most wonderful, exhausting time of your life. Enjoy it!


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Hi Kathleen, I understand what you are saying. I read several of the current books at the time and listened to what my doctor said. Since my mother and grandmother had raised 15 children between them, I listened to them, too. Their children are healthy and so are mine. They would have never told me something that would harm one of my children, and though each child is different, those wise older mothers knew what they were talking about and didn't have to take their kids to the doctor all the time. Usually after I tried something, I would tell the peditrician, and he told me if it worked, do it because he knew it wasn't harmful... Of course, he was an older doctor too. I thoroughly enjoyed my time with my newborns... I can not believe time has passed so quickly.

Thanks for dropping by.


Rockvale profile image

Rockvale 4 years ago from Loveland

I'm expecting a baby in October and even though we can read as much as we want and try to have everything ready, I feel nothing can prepare you for actually having the baby. Can't wait though.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Rockvale, you are so right, but it is the most precious time of your life. :-) Congratulations!! :-)


pandula77 profile image

pandula77 4 years ago from Norway

Brings back memories for sure! Thanks for sharing and lots of people would remember you for all the good advice! Voted up and exceptional.


k2jade31 profile image

k2jade31 4 years ago from Idaho

The quiet mistake is pretty much universal. Thank you, it was an interesting read. I enjoyed it.


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thanks, Pandula! I have those memories of my newborns, too. It was like a fleeting moment, but such a precious time. Thank you for reading and the votes. :-)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

K2Jade, yes, I think many think you need to be quiet for the baby to take a nap... No way, leave everything the same so the baby adapts to your home.

Thanks for reading! :-)


am301986 profile image

am301986 4 years ago from New Delhi

Great tips......nicely shared... thanks for sharing.... :)


sholland10 profile image

sholland10 4 years ago from Southwest Missouri Author

Thank you for reading, AM, and you are welcome! :-)

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