How can we stop bullying?

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Welcome to my HubPages venue for "Just Saying My Piece!". Here, I hope to share some of my personal commentary and philosophy regarding a wide variety of trending topics, including politics, religion, education, society, culture, and much more. Please feel free to leave comments and have a go at the poll questions, too!

(c) 2012 C.R.H. (w1z111)
(c) 2012 C.R.H. (w1z111)

Mirror, mirror...

This hub is not intended to offend anyone, but I think we need to look in our collective mirrors to find some of the real answers to this question.

I am convinced that bullying (online and offline -- children and adults alike) has its roots in the fundamental foundations we adults and parents give to our children as they are growing up...in their "formative years". In addition, our "acceptance" (or ignorance) of many of the harsh and ugly entertainment venues with over-the-top violence, blood and guts, hatred, sex, crime, war, and very obvious bullying behaviors and attitudes...and numerous other "negative behaviors and attitudes"...is not helping our kids get very positive messages.

We would not, as good parents and good citizens, purposely teach such ugliness to our children, but in our busy-ness of life and all that takes our attention and energy we seem to lose sight of the importance of giving them that solid and enduring foundation which helps them develop sound moral concepts and understanding. We let them feed on these things and expect them not to be affected by them. If we continue that, we will continue to see behaviors like we are seeing now...and probably even worse.

Parents under pressure

Parenting today is clearly a struggle; and current economic pressures all but require full-time incomes from both parents. Many (or most?) parents have to work outside the home, so children are essentially reared by others, even in the very earliest months of life, in most cases. Maternal and paternal laws do not allow a great deal of parenting to be done before parents must return to the workplace. Thus, the children must be reared by the "systems" now in place for such child care. Those operating such systems might not have the time, skills or even the impetus, to teach other peoples' kids some of the most basic and acceptable morals, attitudes and behaviors.

I fully expect that parents will soon be held "rigidly accountable" for their children's behaviors; at least while they are still minors. Indeed, it might even be that parents will be held accountable even after the children 'come of legal age'...after all, much of our adult behavior is rooted in some of our earliest childhood learning, isn't it? If parents cannot do a good enough job of rearing their offspring, rules will be made to restrict and regulate parenthood...it's bound to happen if something isn't done to curb the waves of violence, hatred, "in-your-face" arrogance, vengeance/revenge, and other negativity that seems to be all around us.

What to do?

Where are our leaders when it comes time to look harder at and legislate these negative influences? They leave such decisions up to the parents, who, as we've already discussed, end up passing their children over to the daycare providers, teachers, and others.

The law-makers say they cannot restrict "freedom of expression" because the Constitution guarantees that; but when that freedom of expression is promoting and otherwise encouraging or influencing vulnerable minds in such negative ways, it needs to be controlled, in my opinion.

I encourage you to use the link provided below to contact your government representatives (U.S.), to let them know how you feel, and what you think they should do to help.

What do YOU think?

Should lawmakers regulate entertainment to help protect children from negative influences?

  • Yes
  • No
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Do you think entertainment venues might influence and encourage bullying?

  • Yes
  • No
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Do you think freedom of expression should allow 'anything-goes' subject matter and philosophical attitudes?

  • Yes
  • No
See results without voting

Comments 12 comments

SignShine profile image

SignShine 4 years ago from California

I agree bullying needs to be stopped it is a horrible epidemic that effects the lives of many children causing damaging repercussions.


ausis profile image

ausis 4 years ago from Australia

You have struck a nerve with me in my hub hopping expedition today. since I was 4 or 5 I have been bullied in one way or another, this is predominantly due to my eyesight or lack thereof. Recently as an adult I have been victimized and bullied for not being able to see properly. So instead of the people saying hey can you move further away the people have been pumping various Che,icals onto our home, sent me to the doctor 30+ times in 12 months instead of 1 or 2 and or interfering with the electricity & water supply. Can you see the nerve it touched. In other words you did a great job sorry for the release Btw


w1z111 profile image

w1z111 4 years ago from New England, USA Author

Hi SignShine...thanks for your feedback. Yeah, bullying is surely one of our most serious issues, I think; because it somehow reflects such an ugliness that seems to be lurking at the very core of our human condition. Indeed, adults are just as guilty of bullying, when we look at some of the ways we treat others around us.

A recent TV advertisement (CBS) shows a young actor telling parents to "teach children to treat others the way they would like to be treated themselves" (Golden Rule). The ad is intended to help with the bullying epidemic in some of our schools. Unfortunately, the very next ad might be about a law firm that specializes in suing others for things they surely did not intend to happen (i.e., auto accidents, medical errors, etc.). I don't think our kids believe us when we try to tell them that treating others in ways we, ourselves, would not wish to be treated is so important...when we continue to exhibit the opposite in actuality. Thanks again.


w1z111 profile image

w1z111 4 years ago from New England, USA Author

Hi ausis...thanks for your feedback and story. Sorry that you were a 'victim' of bullying; I know the experiences of that cannot be comfortable or good for you...especially when it's about something for which you have little or no control over. Clearly, those who carried out the bullying could never understand what it might be like to 'walk in your shoes', and I think that kind of thinking might be what many people (and not just kids) seem to be missing these days...that sense of "but, by the grace of God, go I".

Whether it's because we've chosen to take God (and all the goodness of the teachings of God-related things) out of our public schools, institutions and even our lives; or because people are simply becoming cold and callous and selfish as a general rule...it's hard to say.

I hope you are healing from any wounds experienced from such things, and I hope we can collectively bring attention to the need for such things to end. Keep your chin up, and resist the desire for revenge or vengeance if you can...because, in most cases, "they know not what they do!" Thanks again.


kelleyward 4 years ago

I just wrote a hub on this because my young boy in first grade is already experiencing this. Something needs to be done and also figured out why bullying is happening at a younger age. I think the media and other influences teach children that bullying is okay and even funny behavior. Thanks for the info.


MummyDearest profile image

MummyDearest 4 years ago from Kildare, Ireland

Thanks for your hub and I agree that more needs to be done to address the issue of bullying. The media is sending out mixed messages and it is hard to control and especially with the advancement of technology ie: internet and mobile phones...children are more exposed.

I wrote a hub after watching a documentary on the case of Phoebe Prince and how she was constantly bullied and finally took her own life as the result of it. I found it very hard to watch the documentary.

I was fortunate that I never encountered any bullying in school during my time. But the thought that this could happen to my child in future got me thinking what has happened to children these days or perhaps the media is a two edge sword that brought more awareness as well as harm? Thanks for a good thought provoking hub non the less and voted up!


w1z111 profile image

w1z111 4 years ago from New England, USA Author

Hi kelleyward...thanks for your feedback. I looked at your hub "When Your Young Child is Being Bullied", and I see you've certainly covered the topic in far greater depth and scope than I have here. Well done, indeed! I can't say that I ever experienced a lot of bullying toward me; though I do recall a few occasions by a very few kids; it seems I was one of the ones that those who were 'victims' of bullying came running to for help...though I can't say I remember what I did to help any of them, in reality. Be that as it may, it might be that the bullying thing made enough of an impression on me that I have a special place in my soul for those who seem to be getting 'picked on' or 'bullied' or otherwise victimized by others who seem not to care about 'treatment of others', or who seem to feel they have a right to put others down and seemingly enjoy doing it. I see that as something missing from their fundamental 'wiring'...not that they are evil or bad persons; rather, that they are perhaps lacking in some level of security or stability in their own existence, therefore, feeling a need to lash out at others they perceive as a 'threat' to their insecurities in some way. Just my own opinion, but it seems clear to me. We need to help all kids understand that compassion, forgiveness, humility, and other of those 'passive' attitudes are, indeed, alright...even good. And, those attitudes should be promoted...and not the ones presently being promoted. In my humble opinion. Sorry for the diatribe...whew! Thanks again. Keep up the good work!


w1z111 profile image

w1z111 4 years ago from New England, USA Author

Hi MummyDearest...thanks for your feedback. I looked at your hub "Victim of Bullying - The case of Phobe Prince", and I am saddened again at yet another victim of bullying; but, unfortunately, I cannot say I'm surprised. The epidemic of bullying is, in my opinion, just a symptom of a much more sinister and looming threat of something very serious being missing from the basic fundamental foundations of the bullying perpetrators. Whether that is a result of parental irresponsibility or something that is less tangible and more elusive is hard to say; but, I do think that is the only place we can ever expect to make any difference in the problem.

I think it has to start with making sure every child understands the importance of compassion, forgiveness, acceptance, and other of those 'passive' traits that many bullied victims seem to possess. I think we need to help them understand that such traits are, indeed, good traits to possess; and I think it is up to our world leaders to ensure every child learns these things...by whatever means necessary...even if it means amending Constitutions...toward the noblest of humanitarian goals...that of peace among all peoples...especially our children.

In my opinion, even some of the ways our own government has been handling recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan are not helping our kids learn lessons of love and caring; instead, we glorify the ways in which we used our "shock and awe" tactics to overpower and overtake and otherwise overwhelm our 'enemies' (victims?). Perhaps the wars were necessary...but to glorify using our might and power to intimidate and bring down our 'enemies', I believe teaches our children something dangerous...unless they have learned and embraced what true LOVE is all about...first. Thanks, again...and keep up the good work!


MummyDearest profile image

MummyDearest 4 years ago from Kildare, Ireland

Thanks! :)


kelleyward 4 years ago

thanks!


cnpankhurst profile image

cnpankhurst 4 years ago from Ireland

Enjoyed the article. My daughter suffered from bullying whereas her brothers didn't. The difference in their attitude to life is very evident. My daughter has an eating disorder and her lack of acceptance of herself relates to how she was badly treated by her peers in school. Well done.


w1z111 profile image

w1z111 4 years ago from New England, USA Author

Hi cnpankhurst...thanks for your feedback. Sorry to hear your daughter's plight with bullying. We know it has become all too common-place these days; not that it never before existed...because I know it did; but today it seems to be an 'epidemic'. Everywhere, parents complain about their children being bullied; the schools cannot possibly keep up with every child with bullying attitudes or behavior; planting law-enforcement (uniformed police) only helps if they are in the right place at the right time. So, how to remedy the problem? Surely, it has to come from love, in order for it to endure (in my humble opinion)...somehow, the kids who feel the need to bully others must be lacking something critically important in their core development to drive them to such thinking and behavior. Hope we find out how to change it pretty soon! Thanks again. Best of luck with your daughter.

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