Do Your Kids Use Their Manners

These days you very seldome hear a child say please and thank you. They normally inturupt you with a loud "Mommy!" or pushing or pulling on you until you answer them. You often hear kids talking back to adults whether it's their parent's or not. Never do I hear a child say "sir" or "mam". What happened?

Back when I was growing up if I were to do any of the above I'd get my butt beat. Espically the talking back part! I was raised to respect my elders. To say "sir" or "mam" when I was talking to an adult. I always said please and thank you or I would never get what I was asking for. And saying "excuse me" was the only way to get our parent's attention when they were talking to someone else.

My youngest daughter being oh so cute.  Used her manners while we were at McDonalds.
My youngest daughter being oh so cute. Used her manners while we were at McDonalds. | Source

Since I've had kids I have taught them about manners and how to be polite while talking to an adult. I'm sure they don't understand it now but I know when they grow up they will appreciate what I taught them (hopefully).

How have I taught my children? Easy

Please and Thank You - This was the easiest to teach them. If they want something they say please and normally they will get what they asked for. Every once in a while I have to give the look or ask them what their manners are but they quickly catch back on and say please. After the please is said, thank you always follows. They remember to say thank you more then please but at least they are still being polite. And they do it to everyone, not just to me at home. I've actually noticed that they use please and thank you a lot more when we are out and about or at a friends house then they do at home. This makes me one happy Mom!

Excuse Me - I really enjoy hearing these words come out of my kids' mouths. Is that bad? Some times I will sit here even if I'm not doing anything and let them say mom two or three times and then they remember the excuse me part and of course I answer with a smile! When we have family over (grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc) it makes me smile when my kids say excuse me to get any of our attention. Even my 4 year old son does this and it's so much nicer to hear an excuse me then a "mom, mommy, Mom, MOM!, MOMMY!!!!". Oh my kids would get into trouble if I heard that come out of their mouths and it sure would not get them whatever it was they wanted!

My oldest daughter realizing that is NOT how you get something.
My oldest daughter realizing that is NOT how you get something. | Source

Talking Back - Oh this is a bad one! This is the one that makes me mad when I hear it. Even if it's not my kids it still rubs me the wrong way. Walking through the mall or a store and hearing kids yelling at their parents or things like that, wow, so glad that's not my kids! Now granted my kids are still little (7, 6 and 4) and I'm sure the talking back part just hasn't started yet but I think we have a bit of a lid on it and that it might help for when they are growing up. As of now, when my kids don't like what I say or ask them to do instead of getting upset and taling back they ask questions. Mainly the why question. However, I don't let them ask just Why. It has to be followed by a whole sentance or it won't get an answer. Why do I have to clean my room now? type of thing. Not just Why? If it's about not being able to do something it's Why can't I go outside and play? Not just Why? Using the whole sentance helps us both. And while we are out or with friends my kids know not to talk back. They don't like getting yelled at or into trouble and they know talking back will get them just that. Nothing special bought for them or not being able to play with their friends. It's manners at work!

My son asks me all the time "Mom, is this using my manners?"
My son asks me all the time "Mom, is this using my manners?" | Source

Sir and Mam - Being in the Army this one is kind of easy for us, however, my kids don't use it all that often. When they really really want something they use it of course but it's not an every day thing. When they are being asked a serious question they use sir and mam or when talking to someone in uniform at Daddy's work (which makes me proud). While I was growing up my mom did not like being called a Mam. She still doesn't. Why I'm not sure, I guess I'll have to ask her. But I do think this is why I don't mind my kids not calling me mam. I do remind them to call their daddy sir but that is out of respect for him and his job.

After writing this Hub, I checked out a few pages online and found out that there are a lot of websites that help you teach your kids manners. Here are a few of the links that I liked.

Books about Manners

More by this Author


Comments 28 comments

mljdgulley354 profile image

mljdgulley354 4 years ago

Awesome hub.I am old school and manners of children need to be taught. Some parents today don't think manners need to be taught at a young age and then wonder what happened to their child when they become teenagers and are constantly acting act


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

What adorable kids and what a great hub; I wish every new set of parents would read this...I come from an upbringing where manners were expected and demanded, so I totally agree with you.


Granny 4 years ago

So glad to read that. Your kids are learning how to get along in society. Good manners work much better than rudeness and will help them in their relationships as they grow up. Where I grew up in the South manners are very important and I believe parents owe it to their kids to teach them.


Simone Smith profile image

Simone Smith 4 years ago from San Francisco

There are few things cuter than kids who know how to use their manners! Alas, it's something I rarely see. Here's hoping that good manners make a comeback!


Arlene V. Poma 4 years ago

Okay, I'm not around kids all that often. Usually, the words, "free" and "discount" turn my head around. But what I admire most are polite, happy children. They seem to be rare these days. I see parents who want to be friends to their children, so this includes accepting their kids' poor behavior like talking back and not saying "Excuse me" or "Thank you." I was at the grocery store recently, and got a mouthful of profanity from a little girl sitting in the cart, and her mother brushed it off and said nothing. Good for you and your kids! Voted up and everything else. Good manners are accepted everywhere!


Chin chin profile image

Chin chin 4 years ago from Philippines

This is a good reminder to parents like me to teach good manner to children. Now that I'm a parent, I really appreciate how my mom was so strict then so that she could teach us good manners. I hope I can teach the same to my kids, though, I must admit I'm not a really strict person.


Sherrill S Cannon 4 years ago

As a former teacher and grandmother of nine, I like this post very much and offer the following suggestion for another book about manners. In a society full of bullying and self-centered children, it is helpful to teach your children the benefits of consideration for others and being polite as early as possible. The Magic Word is an award winning book emphasizing good manners, which can be read to toddlers. It is a rhyming story of a little girl who was rude, selfish and demanding – and had very few friends. Her mother suggested that she needed to improve her manners; so when she went to school the next day, she thought of her mother’s advice, “What is the magic word?” and she started saying “Please” and also “Thank You”. She tried to become more thoughtful of others, and discovered that she was a much happier person. The repetitive use of the phrase “What is the magic word?” has children answering “Please”!


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

mljdgulley354 - I'm glad we started early with our kids, teaching them right from wrong and being nice and using their manners. The early years are when they learn the most after all! Thanks so much for stopping by and the comment!


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

billybuc - Thanks, I think my kids are adorable too :) I wish a lot of new parents could read this too. Manners have seem to have faded away in the past generation. Thanks for the comment :)


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Granny - I couldn't imagine growing up in the South. I was raised in South Dakota and Colorado and it amazes me how different those worlds are! Thanks for the comment :)


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Simone Smith - I sure hope manners come back. I love hearing a kid respecting their elders and being nice to their parents. Like you said, you rarely see it. Thanks for the comment!


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Arlene V. Poma - Thanks for all the votes :) I too want to be friends with my kids and I would say that I am. They talk to me about their problems and we do lots of fun stuff together but they respect me and those around them! Thanks for the comment :)


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Chin chin - I'm not a strict person either. I don't like being upset or yelling. I do not like my kids being upset or mad at me but sometimes you just have to do it to teach them right from wrong. Even if you are a little hard on them, like you, they will be greatful for it in the end :) Thanks for checking out my hub and the comment!


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Sherrill S Cannon - I will have to check out that book. It sounds like a good one. My kids also know that the magic word is of course please. Gotta love how it became "magic". Thanks for stopping by and the comment :)


stephhicks68 profile image

stephhicks68 4 years ago from Bend, Oregon

Awesome! Ill-mannered children drive me nuts because so often behavior can and should be directed via good examples and corrections by parents. When we are in public, I gently remind my children if they have forgotten their manners. Things like allowing people to get off the elevator first before getting on are important ways to show respect. Rated up! Best, Steph


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 years ago

I love the pictures shown of your children, they are adorable! Manners are so needed and should be taught as early on as possible. I grew up having to address myh parents with Yes Sir and No Madam. Not such a bad idea. Thanks for your reflections and helpful advice. Voted interesting and useful!


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Steph - That's awesome that you remind your kids about their manners while out and about. It's those reminders that help the kids learn and they don't always have to be harsh reminders. And when they do remember on their own you can see it in their faces how proud of themselves they are :) Thanks for the votes and comment!


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

teaches12345 - The kids sure do look adorable in all the pictures I take :) Even when they are not too happy with me, they are still adorable! Thanks so much for the votes and comment!


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 4 years ago from Orlando, FL

Adorable kids! Some children need to refresh their mannerism skills and some kids blow me away with their manners. Either way I think it all reflects on the parents. Great hub with valid points! Happy 4,000th comment!:)


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Sunshine625 - You are totally right, it all does reflect on the parents. I'm greatful mine were a bit hard on me when I was growing up. Thanks for stopping by and the comment :)


randomcreative profile image

randomcreative 4 years ago from Milwaukee, Wisconsin

I agree with Simone that I hope good manners make a comeback. It would be a refreshing change to see these kind of manners from more kids. I just hope that I can instill these notions in my own children someday.


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

randomcreative - Maybe the next generation will get the manners to come back. Or parents in this generation will realize how different the world is without those manners. I'm sure your kids will be wonderful :) Thanks so much for the comment!


sgbrown profile image

sgbrown 4 years ago from Southern Oklahoma

Wonderful hub! I agree, you hardly ever hear kids say please or thank you these days. What has happened to manners? I am astounded at the way some parents let their kids talk to them! Your kids are so cute and I am sure they will appreciate what you have taught them, and they will in turn teach their childrent the same. We need to get manners back into the world again! Voted up, useful and sharing! :)


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

Thanks so much sgbrown :) Hopefully my kids will appreciate it when they are older and teach their kids the same. Thanks for the votes and sharing :)


Becky Katz profile image

Becky Katz 4 years ago from Hereford, AZ

Womderful hub. I was raised in NV and now I live in TN. The difference is huge. A child here would live in the corner of the classroom for acting like they do in NV. They are so much more polite here. My children do get compliments on their manners here too though.

Just yesterday, my 15 year old daughter commented that people look so surprised when a teenager is polite. They all call adults sir and ma'am. We lived in a smaller town not far away where all women that they knew were addressed as Miss 'their name'. That was the first I had heard of that in modern days. My grown sons get comments all the time too.


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

That's awesome to hear Becky! My kids, too, use the Miss 'thier name' when anyone comes to the house. It's good to know that TN has it all figured out too. I'm really hopping that my kids will keep with their manners when they are teenagers. I think it makes a world of differance :) Thanks for the comment!


JessicaSmetz profile image

JessicaSmetz 4 years ago from Phoenix, Arizona

Great hub! It's crazy how rude some kids are now. Luckily my daughters have manners.


CassyLu1981 profile image

CassyLu1981 4 years ago from Spring Lake, NC Author

JessicaSmetz - I'm glad you've taught your daughters well :) Thanks for stopping by and the comment!

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