Conversations With My Children - Round 1
Kids Say the Darndest Things
Kids Say the Darndest Things
Kids are amazing the way their minds work are so pure and innocent but often blunt. The way that children see the simplest things in the most difficult situations is so refreshing. My children never cease to amaze me in everything they say and do. They make me laugh everyday.
At the request of my Aunt here is Round 1 of my greatest conversations with my children:
- WHERE DO BABIES COME FROM – My daughter asked this question when she was 3 years old. My response at the time was from their mommies. My daughter replied, “I know that but how do they come out of their mommies tummies?” “Oh they come from their vagina.” I responded not batting an eye. She looked at me with a horrified look on her face and said, “Oh mom that is sooo BISGUSTING!” That was the end of that discussion.
- I WANT TO HAVE 10 BABIES – As my children and I were driving home from school they started to have a conversation between them they were about 6 years old at the time. Slowly I was brought into the conversation even though I was having a great time being a fly on the wall. First my son made a comment “It smells just like pregnant women’s farts in here.” I did not even try to ask him what he meant or how he would even know what pregnant women’s fart smelled like in the first place. Before I could even comment anyway my daughter said, “I want to be pregnant!” “I want to have 10 kids.” Again I had to hold my tongue because at that moment I wanted to scream out NO! “Ten kids?” my son replied. “That’s way too many; you will be at home with them all by yourself while your husband works to take care of you and your kids.” My daughter replied, “I don’t care it will be worth all the love that I get from my kids.” Then there was a long pause while my son thought about this and then he said, “Yeah you will have a lot of love but your Vagina will hurt!” That was all I could take I did everything I could to control my laughter as my daughter bantered back “No it won’t, Mom will my vagina hurt?” and my other daughter interjected “Oh yes it will!”. All three of my kids were waiting for my response and I assured them that giving birth can be a painful but beautiful experience.
- OHWATCHUWA - When my children were just starting to learn how to speak there were times when we could not figure out what they wanted. We would ask our kids to point to what they wanted so that we could understand and usually we would figure it out pretty quickly what they were talking about. However there was one item that we would not figure out for weeks and it would end up driving my father to the brink; it was the elusive Ohwatchuwa. One day my son came up to my father and asked him for ohwatchuwa. “Oh-watch-u-wa?” my father asked not quite sure he had heard him correctly. “Ohwatchuwa!” my son answered getting excited with his grandfather’s response. “What’s ohwatchuwa?” my father asked, “Point to ohwatchuwa.” My son went to the kitchen searched around for what seemed like hours and came back with a look of defeat. “No ohwatchuwa paypah.” My son was completely sad. My father asked me if I knew what ohwatchuwa was I had no idea nor did my husband or my mother. We were stumped. Almost everyday my father would ask my son where the ohwatchuwa was and still no ohwatchuwa. After a few weeks ohwatchuwa had been all but forgotten. Then one day my father’s friend came over to visit and to watch a game. My father’s friend was a truck driver who drove for a major snack food company. He would always bring over boxes of food that couldn’t be sold that he received from the company. Sometime during the game my son came running up to his grandpa and said, “Paypah, paypah ohwatchuwa!” He was pulling on my fathers arm and everyone was filing into the room to see what ohwatchuwa was. My son led my father into the kitchen and right to the box full of potato chips. My father looked at my son and said, “Oh ohwatchuwa, of course”.
- WHAT IS SEX – One day I was driving in my car with my children taking them to the doctor and of course the radio was on at the time. At the time the announcer on the radio says the word “Sex”. Its early morning and I am barely functioning. My son says “Oh yeah Mom what is that sex thing.” I am frozen, not because talking about sex is embarrassing just because I am caught off guard, I was actually in my own little world at the time and this was the last thing on my mind. Being semi funny I said, “Well we are about to go to the doctor we can ask there.” So my son says, “Oh so it’s a medical condition.” I chuckle to myself and say, “No no it is not a medical condition, let’s see its kind of a long story where should I start?” My daughter says, “Its ok mom we have all the time in the world.” Oh great I think to myself. “So I say well sex is something that occurs between two people that care for each other.” My daughter interrupts and asks, “Is that the same thing as sexy?” “No not quite.” I say “Sexy is an adjective and it is used to describe someone or something.” Then my son pops in and says, “Oh never mind this is boring.” Discussion is over for now, but I am still waiting for round two.
- LOVE SOMEONE ELSE PLEASE - Some of the greatest interactions have been between my father and my children. I love to watch this dynamic simply because of the outcomes. One of my favorite stories I heard from my father was after my kids had spent the night. My father and my son clash all the time not in a negative way but I think that my father sees himself in my son and he loves his grandkids so much. My son is always getting in trouble with his Grandpa and to squelch this Grandpa shoots rubber bands at my son. My son hates it but my daughters happily gather rubber bands for their Grandpa. One day right before I was picking up my kids. My son asked his grandpa “Why do you always shoot rubber bands at me Grandpa?” My father responded, “Because I love you.” To which my son responded “Can’t you love someone else, please?” My father was speechless and hugged his grandson.
These interactions will always stick with me and make me laugh and I am not sure if it is just because of what they said, how they said it or even my response to them. No matter the reason I know that there will be many more conversations to come and I look forward to them all.
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