Ten Criteria of A Good Parent | Criteria of a Good Mother and Father

Do you meet the criteria of a good parent ? Understanding childhood requires one being a child again. Josh Billings has said it well, “To bring up a child in the way he should go, travel that way yourself once in a while.”

"Don't you understand that we need to be childish in order to understand? Only a child sees things with perfect clarity, because it hasn't developed all those filters which prevent us from seeing things that we don't expect to see."
~ Douglas Adams (Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency)

Did You Meet the Ten Criteria of A Good Parent?

Criteria #1 : THEY ARE CRAZY ABOUT THEM

Good parents make it clear that they are crazy about the child. They are constantly thinking about the child and desire to be with them, and feel that the child is special.

There is only one pretty child in the world, and every mother has it. ~Chinese Proverb

Before I got married I had six theories about bringing up children; now I have six children, and no theories. ~John Wilmot

"I fell for her in summer, my lovely summer girl,
From summer she is made, my lovely summer girl,
I’d love to spend a winter with my lovely summer girl,
But I’m never warm enough for my lovely summer girl,
It’s summer when she smiles, I’m laughing like a child,
It’s the summer of our lives; we’ll contain it for a while
She holds the heat, the breeze of summer in the circle of her hand
I’d be happy with this summer if it’s all we ever had."
~ Maggie Stiefvater (Shiver)

"Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit."
~ Bill Cosby (Fatherhood)

Criteria #2 : THEY INTERACT

Good parents interact, especially verbally, with the child. They enjoy talking to the child and encourage the child to talk. They are interested to know more about the child.

"And I learned what is obvious to a child. That life is simply a collection of little lives, each lived one day at a time. That each day should be spent finding beauty in flowers and poetry and talking to animals. That a day spent with dreaming and sunsets and refreshing breezes cannot be bettered. But most of all, I learned that life is about sitting on benches next to ancient creeks with my hand on her knee and sometimes, on good days, for falling in love."
Nicholas Sparks

"Let children read whatever they want and then talk about it with them. If parents and kids can talk together, we won't have as much censorship because we won't have as much fear."
~ Judy Blume

"The most interesting information comes from children, for they tell all they know and then stop."
~ Mark Twain

 

Criteria #3 : THEY RESPECT

Good parents work to help the child to develop a high level of self-esteem. They respect and pay attention to the child, taking the child’s opinion into their consideration.

Whenever I held my newborn baby in my arms, I used to think that what I said and did to him could have an influence not only on him but on all whom he met, not only for a day or a month or a year, but for all eternity - a very challenging and exciting thought for a mother. ~Rose Kennedy

Likely as not, the child you can do the least with will do the most to make you proud. ~Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

The secret of dealing successfully with a child is not to be its parent. ~Mell Lazarus

Parents need to fill a child's bucket of self-esteem so high that the rest of the world can't poke enough holes to drain it dry. ~Alvin Price

"A torn jacket is soon mended, but hard words bruise the heart of a child."
Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

 

Criteria #4 : THEY MOTIVATE

Good parents condition their children to reach their best potential. They reward the children for their performances and are continuously encouraging and motivating the children.

Never help a child with a task at which he feels he can succeed. ~Maria Montessori

All good teachers will tell you that the most important quality they bring to their teaching is their love for the children. But what does that mean? It means that before we can teach them, we need to delight in them. Someone once said that children need one thing in order to succeed in life: someone who is crazy about them. We need to find a way to delight in all our students. We may be the only one in their lives to do so. We need to look for the best, expect the best, find something in each child that we can truly treasure.... If children recognize that we have seen their genius, who they really are, they will have the confidence and resilience to take risks in learning. I am convinced that many learning and social difficulties would disappear if we learned to see the genius in each child and then created a learning environment that encourages it to develop. ~ Steven Levy

 

Criteria #5 : THEY LET CHILD EXPLORE

Good parents encourage the children to explore and when situation permits, explore together with them. The Children feel the freedom to move out and explore as a kid.

Too often we give children answers to remember rather than problems to solve. ~Roger Lewin

The hardest part of raising a child is teaching them to ride bicycles. A shaky child on a bicycle for the first time needs both support and freedom. The realization that this is what the child will always need can hit hard. ~Sloan Wilson

 

Criteria #6 : THEY HAVE FAMILY TIME

Good parents give their children a sense of family solidarity, even in single-parent home. Family spend time together talking, solving problems, making decision together, playing and explore together.

Your children need your presence more than your presents. ~Jesse Jackson

Kids spell love T-I-M-E. ~John Crudele

A child, like your stomach, doesn't need all you can afford to give it. ~Frank A. Clark

In bringing up children, spend on them half as much money and twice as much time. ~Author Unknown

Always kiss your children goodnight - even if they're already asleep. ~H. Jackson Brown, Jr.

"No time is more precious and well rewarded than those few moments you spend reading a story to a child" ~ Robert D. Harris

 

Criteria #7 : THEY ENCOURAGE SELF-DISCIPLINE

Good parents are good at moving children from parent discipline to self-discipline. A child will at some point in life know how to take care and discipline of themselves, to do what is right and necessary. They know how to lead a responsible life rather than driven by self-enhancement or immediate pleasure.

If you have never been hated by your child you have never been a parent. ~Bette Davis

"You can't make your kids do anything. All you can do is make them wish they had. And then, they will make you wish you hadn't made them wish they had. "
~ Marshall B. Rosenberg

"I don't mean to be like some old guy from the olden days who says, "I walked thirty miles to school every morning, so you kids should too." That's a statement born of envy and resentment. What I'm saying is something quite different. What I'm saying is that by having very little, I had it good. Children need a sense of pulling their own weight, of contributing to the family in some way, and some sense of the family's interdependence. They take pride in knowing that they're contributing. They learn responsibility and discipline through meaningful work. The values developed within a family that operates on those principles then extend to the society at large. By not being quite so indulged and "protected" from reality by overflowing abundance, children see the bonds that connect them to others."
~ Sidney Poitier (The Measure of a Man: A Spiritual Autobiography)


"Parents teach children discipline for two different, indeed diametrically opposed, reasons: to render the child submissive to them and to make him independent of them. Only a self-disciplined person can be obedient; and only such a person can be autonomous."
~ Thomas Stephen Szasz

"Society tried to teach me that children are by nature selfish, out-of-control, and demanding, that their goal is power and that they are always trying to see how much they can get away with, that you can't let children manipulate you or become too dependant, and that disobedience equals disrespect. As a mother, I have come to believe strongly that my child's primary goals are having his needs met, feeling connected to others, and feeling self-worth. His misbehavior is an attempt to get a need met or to feel significance and connection, done in an appropriate way.... my job as a parent is to help my child identify and meet those needs in appropriate ways." - Lisa S."
~ Hilary Flower (ADVENTURES IN GENTLE DISCIPLINE: A Parent-to-Parent Guide)

 

Criteria #8 : THEY TEACH CHILDREN VALUES

Good parents teach their children values. The children are anchored to a set of moral code or value which they hold on to later in their lives.

Good, honest, hardheaded character is a function of the home. If the proper seed is sown there and properly nourished for a few years, it will not be easy for that plant to be uprooted. ~George A. Dorsey

Children are natural mimics who act like their parents despite every effort to teach them good manners. ~Author Unknown

Character is largely caught, and the father and the home should be the great sources of character infection. ~Frank H. Cheley

"The home is the first and most effective place to learn the lessons of life: truth, honor, virtue, self control, the value of education, honest work, and the purpose and privilege of life. Nothing can take the place of home in rearing and teaching children, and no other success can compensate for failure in the home."
~ David O. McKay

 

Criteria #9 : THEY GIVE CHILDREN RESPONSIBILITIES

Good parents help their children to experience plenty of responsibilities. The children are given jobs to do while their progress is being monitored until they could do it on their own.

If you want children to keep their feet on the ground, put some responsibility on their shoulders. ~Abigail Van Buren

"What it means to be human...is to bring up your children in safety, educate them, keep them healthy, teach them how to care for themselves and others, allow them to develop in their own way among adults who are sane and responsible, who know the value of the world and not its economic potential. It means art, it means time, it means all the invisibles never counted by the GDP and census figures. It means knowing that life has an inside as well as an outside."
~ Jeanette Winterson (The Stone Gods)

 

Criteria #10 : THEY GROW

Good parents know that being a parent is a continuous learning process. They learn from their mistakes, improve and move on. They grow. They set good role models for their kids, as they know kids love to imitate.

It's not only children who grow. Parents do too. As much as we watch to see what our children do with their lives, they are watching us to see what we do with ours. I can't tell my children to reach for the sun. All I can do is reach for it, myself. ~Joyce Maynard

The trouble with learning to parent on the job is that your child is the teacher. ~Robert Brault,

If there is anything that we wish to change in the child, we should first examine it and see whether it is not something that could better be changed in ourselves. ~C.G. Jung, Integration of the Personality, 1939

Children have more need of models than of critics. ~Carolyn Coats, Things Your Dad Always Told You But You Didn't Want to Hear

The guys who fear becoming fathers don't understand that fathering is not something perfect men do, but something that perfects the man. The end product of child raising is not the child but the parent. ~Frank Pittman, Man Enough

Finally,

This is sad, for me personally, but unfortunately true :

You see much more of your children once they leave home. ~Lucille Ball

So, do enjoy your kids while they are still staying with you.

If you like the quotes above, here are the links to read more :

http://www.goodreads.com/quotes

http://www.quotegarden.com/parents.html


Recommended Parenting Books

Copyright

The text and all images on this page, unless otherwise indicated, are owned by Ingenira who hereby asserts her copyright on the material. Permission must be granted by the author in writing prior to copy or republish this article in print or online. However, please feel free to copy the first paragraph with a link back to this page. Thank you.

© Ingenira 2011

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Comments 28 comments

greatparenting profile image

greatparenting 5 years ago from philadelphia, pa and corolla, nc

An excellent set of steps to good parenting. Well done. Thanks!


Kari Winchester profile image

Kari Winchester 5 years ago from Ontario, California

Incredible perspective from an obviously wise author! You are correct in listing first that great parents "are crazy about them". it all goes back to that. great hub!


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

I love to mingle with my nieces and newphews as much as my own kid. They definitely bring so much colours into our lives.

Thanks for reading and your comment. Glad to see you here.


visionandfocus profile image

visionandfocus 5 years ago from North York, Canada

Wow, this is an amazing hub. There's so much info I've bookmarked it so I can refer back to it again and again. I may not have kids myself, but I have a lot of nieces and nephews in my life, and I intend to learn more for their sake, as well as mine. Thanks for sharing!


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Very true, Beth, first time parent tends to be very protective. I have also learnt that when the child failed, they learnt a great lesson. Thanks for your great comment.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you so much, PaperNotes, for you wonderful comment. :) Yes, same as you, I learnt and grew so much being a parent. Happy Parenting !


Beth100 profile image

Beth100 5 years ago from Canada

This is a gem!!! Wonderfully advice and great advice. There are some that I never understood before I had my children, but once I had them, I understood the value of them. To be a parent is one thing, to act as a parent is another. Tough decisions -- especially the first time you allow your child to fail for failure is a great lesson when taught correctly as failure can be a success.


PaperNotes profile image

PaperNotes 5 years ago

Oh, it is hard to be a parent. It was only when I became one that I realized that. From the criteria that you mentioned, I suppose I can get a perfect score. Yet as you said, parenthood is a continuous learning process. Many things could change every passing day yet the difficulties of being a responsible parent lives on.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks so much, Loren, for you lovely comment. Children are just so lovely, aren't they. I can never get enough of them.


Loren's Gem profile image

Loren's Gem 5 years ago from Istanbul, Turkey

Great share for every parent! Thanks so much for sharing this hub. My toddler's still 3 and I'm enjoying every moment I spend time with my son - its incomparable to anything else in the world. He's just so adorable and I constantly remind him he's so special. Bookmarking it, in case I may fall short on some of these criteria (lol) and rated it beautiful. Actually, I would love to share the link to this article to every parent I know - especially the new ones. :-)


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you, xixi, for visiting and the leaving a nice comment. Glad to see you here.


xixi12 profile image

xixi12 5 years ago from Everywhere but here. In the truest sense, freedom cannot be bestowed; it must be achieved. You can never be truly free till you have the discipline to manage it.

Great hub, i try to meet all the criteria and i hope my kids appreciate all my efforts. Nice quotes too, i particularly like the one by Abigail Van Buren about putting responsibilities on their shoulder. It is so true


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thank you so much for your comment, Docmo, and welcome to my page.


Docmo profile image

Docmo 5 years ago from UK

What a fantastic hub on parenting. I love the way you have broken down the attributes and punctuated them with quotes and sage advice. Brilliant- something every parent should read! voted up& awesome.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

thanks, 3cardmonte.


3cardmonte 5 years ago

Great hub. I certainly hope that I do.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Truly, Sally, most children forgive and forget quite easily after we shower them with lots of love. They are wonderful, aren't they ?


Truckstop Sally profile image

Truckstop Sally 5 years ago

Like the others who have commented - great hub. I imagine we all strive to meet the criteria - somedays falling a little short though. Luckily children are very forgiving, and tomorrow is another day. Children are truly gifts.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

thanks for your compliment, Betty. I do hope this hub benefits some parents. :)


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, happyboomernurse. Wow, 31 ! You must be a proud parent. It shows how serious you are about your boy when you still read this hub. My salute to you.


Betty Johansen profile image

Betty Johansen 5 years ago

Every new parent should read this hub! And print it out. Maybe memorize it.

Great job!


Happyboomernurse profile image

Happyboomernurse 5 years ago from South Carolina

Good hub and I loved the quotes. My son is 31 now, but I still enjoyed seeing what your good parent criteria was.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, Ritchie, appreciate your kind comment. :)


richtwf profile image

richtwf 5 years ago

This is a great hub with lots of excellent quotes and advice. Really enjoyed reading this one so thanks for sharing these thoughts.

God bless!


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

lol... Tony, you are so humble. I think, you may have told your children or grandchildren, that it's the effort that counts. At least you try...


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks, Carrie. You must have a few wonderful children who have grown up.


tonymac04 profile image

tonymac04 5 years ago from South Africa

Wonderful ideas and I fear I fall short too often! But I think I do strive to do these things most of the time!

Thanks for sharing.

Love and peace

Tony


carrie450 profile image

carrie450 5 years ago from Winnipeg, Canada

This is an eye opening hub Ingenira with very good advice. I guess I didn't do so bad raising my 3 children.

I agree with you that we see our children much more when they are grown :)

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