Discipline For Children Is Your Love For Them

Don't fix it if it ain't broke

This hurts me more than it does you

I suppose spanking comes under your beatings heading, I don't think my dad ever spanked me but I knew he could and would, and I brought my two up the same way and they were angels. Just because criminals beat their child to death does not mean spanking should be outlawed, and will that stop the sick people who could do such a thing? You nor anyone else is blind, look at today's kids.

That was my reply to someone acting to be a Pro, and a man no less. Please.

OK, I forgot some men take care of the children, so I apologize, I just don't know any and never have.

Have you ever seen animals correct their young? It works doesn't it? It is instinct. A little nip, a warning growl. This alone shows how it is meant to be.

Time outs, give me a break! I've watched "The Nanny" enough to know my way was best and quicker and I didn't have to wait until they were half grown. You start teaching at birth but of course not spanking but kids know tones, which is not screaming or bringing a child to tears, they can learn right from wrong.

I hope Nanny is paid well, she deserves it. My children would have never acted like any of those kids and most of the parents are worse than the kids! That show makes me a nervous wreck, no wonder the parents are nuts. This is just passing by it occasionally. Such kids, such parents! Going out in the public anywhere also tells me I was right. Monster children and screaming mothers, or vice versa....makes a great day...


Terrible twos

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Teach them right from wrong


Back to discipline though, I took all responsibility. It is possible a time or two if one hurt the other their dad may give the guilty a smack on the butt, but we never used belts or beat our children, and they for the most part were unbelievable good. As toddlers they knew not to mess in anything left down, like at my in-laws house, they would run and put up her nice glassware the children could reach and we told them they wouldn't bother it and they didn't. Finally they saw it was true. Ours were the only grandchildren they didn't have to put a thing up from.

Their father never spanked them other than a pop on the butt that I know had no pain and they were more afraid of him. I questioned it then in my mind with my husband sometimes coming between discipline I was about to give them which was rarely a spanking unless they did something dangerous or lied on the other, and even then a point to the ping pong paddle hanging on the wall brought the truth out. When my daughter was at the point of a paddling I never saw such dancing around holding onto and hiding that butt and usually I would get so tickled I would swear her to forever obedience and let it go. It lasted a good while. Another good memory of her when they were about four and five and they walked in the living room while we sat on the couch kissing, (which we rarely did in their presence except a goodbye peck) and she said,"Oh, look brother, they are in love!" It was so sweet and so funny.Of course there went the romance for laughter.


I tried reasoning with my husband it was not right for me to do all the punishing having them grow up liking him best with him always leaving it to me. When they got older I did ask them once why that was they were more afraid of discipline from their father who never punished them than me and they said they didn't want my spankings but they figured if their dad ever decided to get them it would all be over!

Cuter than a button

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Never too young

Even as newborns you can start teaching them and I don't know if I can even say how, but I would wake hearing my babies kick their feet against their mattress and go start warming their bottle while I came back and changed their diapers and always talked happy and soothing to them, feed them and go back to bed. I never had screaming crying babies. Unless they were sick of course but I pretty much kept my babies under a year or two old away from any way they might pick up a cold or diseases.

My children were never terrified of me and I gave almost all the discipline. We played every day and I rarely was away from them until they started school. Their grandparents would talk them into spending the night with them and before midnight, thankfully, we had to go get them. The grandparents finally gave up for a few years, they did grow out of it, but we were very close with our babies and we missed them as much as they did us. We waited four and five years for them, and it was probably a good thing but we were beginning to think we would have none and they both were adorable. We always tried to set good examples. (Role modeling is so important and it cleaned up their daddy's mouth very well). This is the best anyone can do. You would think they would have been spoiled but they absolutely were not. They walked early and talked early.

Spongebob squarepants

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How kids see their parents

I don't know they really thought that to that extent but we all laughed. Mostly he had fits over his business and people who had complaints about everything and females going through the change and after getting a contract price old ladies would cry around how they didn't have much money after agreeing to the price. Once they got to this lady's house and said they had just seen her husband I think it was at a Shoney's were they stopped to have coffee and she said, "Oh no it wasn't him!" and like dummies they said well yes we spoke to him and she went into one fit and got him on the phone and they heard her saying, "I told them it wasn't you!" I think she was the same one that came running to my husband one day saying one of his worker's got paint all over one of her cabinets ,wringing her hands, so my husband went with her to see and it wasn't there, (naturally you clean up drips or smudges as you go) and she started crying and said, "They wiped it off, I saw it there!"

Then some days other things may go wrong. He painted interior and exterior and hung wallpaper and some of the women called him their interior decorator on the phone to their friends and he never liked that. I think he taught most my brothers all he knew and they worked for him then on their own, and Mom's first grandchild, my first nephew I have mentioned before, worked for him for awhile. One day my husband was cutting wallpaper and cut a tiny tip of his finger off and they were really tough from playing guitar for years so it didn't really hurt but bled really bad so he had my nephew hold the paper so he didn't get blood on it while he cut it and I think they used some type board to get a straight cut but every time he got to my nephews hand he pulled it away, and he told my nephew he had to hold it still, what was wrong? My nephew told him if he would cut his own finger off he knew he didn't give a blank about his. Just a funny memory from long ago.

Sugar and spice

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Funny

Spankings

Did or do you spank your children.

  • No I would fear going to jail.
  • No I would never spank my angels.
  • Yes I do.
  • Yes I did before it was against the law.
See results without voting

Why kids misbehave

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Funny+Romantic+kids+Sweet+children+wallpapers.jpg wallpapers-mobilewallpapers...

Spankings

So for good reason we all I think sometimes felt he was mad at us because of how his day went and being children they must have taken it much more serious than me and I kind of felt like I was to blame sometimes, too. When you hear fussing even if it's about someone else the tone feels personal. I hated when he had days like that, although we laugh about them now.

My mom spanked my little boy once when we left them with her and he kept trying to get out the gate into the road and started fighting her, kicking etc., while she was trying to prevent him from getting out. He had never acted that way before. Seems he wanted a dog or something he saw and she told me she finally had to paddle him with her hand and she really hated it and I did not care at all, his life was more important than a sting on his butt and he knew he had done wrong and deserved it. What else could she have done?

He knew he was wrong and was over it by the time I got back, I think she had tied the gate as soon as she got him settled down. She was a grandma and had never heard of time out, but I doubt it would have worked. She did the right thing and he doesn't even remember it much less hold it against her, they always loved each other, he came very often the last few years while her own children rarely if ever did and she was always glad to see him and knew him when he came to visit us, when she didn't her own sons. She always called him by a nickname we called him as a baby and he even put up with that, but she didn't know he was now trying to be away from it forever, that was funny too.

My sister-in-law was in real fear her daughter would turn her into the police if she spanked her, and she practically dared her to touch her and she could be a little terror I tell you. It is a shame today parents can't correct their own children and rarely have a say over their children at all.

They can get birth control at what age now? Probably ten. Nothing would surprise me and if they give these girls birth control is that like permission to have sex (well we know it is) encouraging them even I think, but with a boy only of what age? We need the laws passed around so we can let all the young people know. Do they also have someone at that doctors office telling them what a great chance they have for STD, (Sexually transmitted disease), I would almost promise you they don't and even if they do they still are taking the parents rights to how that is told. Or if it sounds like permission if done right. I am so glad my child rearing is over. God help all the ones now bringing up children. They give them adult rights while they are still children and no one can tell them no, no one can correct them. We have let government ruin everything in every way we turn, but they want to hold us responsible if they do any wrong.

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Momma Mia profile image

Momma Mia 6 years ago from North Carolina

Very good hub!! I actually was a nanny for 10 years..after I was a hairdresser for 10 years ...I never had to spank ( I would pull off the road in a safe place and make them do push up and such LOL) Then came my second child ( born with some medical probs) Frail and sickly and was told that her crying would make her reflux worse, which would obstruct her floppy trachea ( thus she stopped breathing ) So there was no way I would have hit her extremely small body or make her cry....by age 5 she was doing better with her health ..but a spoiled brat....I tried time out when she was smaller.....that did not help! As she became 5 and up...I popped her behind a few times... (then she told a police officer at a stop lite that I abused her.) I told him to please follow us home and I would have her bags packed soon.he laughed and I was furious. My baby is 15 now and has seen some trouble in school and her social life...although not while she lived with me. She moved to her dads 2 years ago where he lets her have anything she wants. She stole his car, been suspended from school twice in a month...and I informed her she will be moving back home soon. She has told me she would never have done all the antics with me...as she knows I would call the police to get my car back and she says she believes I would kick her ass! LOL She was hell to raise and she is just now starting to straighter her life up! She is very artsy and can draw like a pro and taught herself to iceskate ( and she helps trainers train) So the potential is there!

Thanks for a great read!! I just know out of many children I kept..my tone was enough....until my baby...There was no help.....except time!


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US Author

I am so glad you can see this, I was sure you would call me a child abuser, lol, and of course with other people's children it is different, you have no right to spank and I quit babysitting as a teen this woman's kids were so mean I feared for my life from two of them and although I try not to bring religion on subjects that may help all, the bible teaches physical punishment I am sure, but that's another story. My sister-in-law passed away now but I loved like a sister although she was a good bit older than me, really ruined her own daughter which led to that daughter's daughter with no control who landed in prison. It's like teaching them about life to me and people who love their children hurt when they have to punish so that "this hurts me more than you" is really true in most case, although I will admit it is something hard to not be angry, depending on circumstances but even then normal people do not abuse or kill children and I really get so sick of these know it all Dr Spock's, although he may have been for it, I did use his book to help bring mine up. With two so close it was almost like twins. No one could have loved their children more than I did, they were adorable honestly and so well behaved people commented on it everywhere we took them, and I think even that helped them want to be good.


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, Polly, you write so quick I can't catch up with you! ha ha I quite agree with you about smacking your kids, my mum did it to us and I did it to my son. I am sick to death of seeing the stupid mothers these days saying ' oh come on darling stop kicking that post, mummy will buy you an icecream!' arghhhh! nothing works. they grow up to be little brats and even worse the parents are scared of them! over here in England it is even worse. if a child gets smacked by his or her parents the parents get taken to court for child abuse! it's pathetic. thanks for an intelligent view of child raising.nice to hear it!! lol cheers nell


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 6 years ago from US Author

Oh its against the law here too now but I beat the deadline, lol


habee profile image

habee 6 years ago from Georgia

This is great, and so true! My mom always said that real love for children required discipline.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Thank you, I think most of us of our generation know this is true, I probably won't be around to see the tragedy that will come from lack of discipline, my daughter is horrible with her kids and never disciplines them, my son is sort of like I was and my parents, he means what he says and his son knows it and he teaches him manners and to be polite. He is a little doll, even if a little spoiled.


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

Very interesting hub. Love it.

Sweedie i too believe in spanking their little behinds. God said spare not the rod and spoil the child. Yes it must start from a tender age, can't wait until they are grown as small as they are they no right from wrong. Why do you think toddlers hide when making mischief?

That's one of the rubbish i don't give in to with america about not beating the children. It has breathe rebbles, bastards, gays, prostitues, juvenile deliquents and the germ is world wide now. I mean if they said do not mark the children or damage them i'd understand.

But you as parent who made a child got all that pain telling me i can't hit my own child when he or she is rude or need disciplining. I would have been in jail EVERYDAY and when the child call the cops as soon as am out i'd beat you again. So a mobile station would have to be set up in front my house.

In the caribbean DISCIPLINE IS THE MOTTO, and we in the western would have better children they have more manners etc. They learn to pray etc. I can boast of that. There are some of them who is antimannered though!!

This life have the laws backwards the ones they ought to have they don't.

I remember watching maury show some years ago where an 11yr old was beating her mother who was a big fat lady and her little brother.

Smoking weed and when her mother talk she hits her and said amma call the cops am a grown woman. Imagine something like that.

No child in this world or the one to come will do me that. I would send you back where you came from......


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Well it wasn't necessary for my parent to beat us just because we knew they would was enough and well I wouldn't call it beat but if Dad act like he was taking that belt off you got straight fast and as I say I kept the ping pong paddle for my two young ones and they were the most adorable two children the world could have known, but then they hit teens and my daughter was a handful but law said she can do what she wants to but I have to pay if she does anyone any damage, that sounds America, that is about how smart our judicial system is but thank God I got through it.


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

Hmmm those teenagers get a little nutty when they reach adolescence. I was a well behaved one still is, only thing am in my 20's now. Never gived any trouble except for being a bit rude with my mouth.... and i got my little behind pretty washed up for it,lol

I guess we all err in that stage


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Yes I did too a time or two but it was at a very sensitive time in my life after a car accident and I had home teachers and everything seemed all messed up in my life, my mom was using tough love and my dad who always seemed so mean was the kind one...odd huh? But it was just a few months, all other times I always respected both my parents and right or wrong I did not talk back or get sassy.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Generations change, I think it was the same for my friends too, no talking back we called it.


ladyjojo profile image

ladyjojo 5 years ago

You all still had more chance to talk back in my country is burst mouth a tooth or two may be shaking. It's what we call a BACK HAND SLAP , Straight to face.lol

I never got any tooth shaking cause of a slap i use to block my mouth. I think it's a disrespect to slap me in my face...he he he


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Yes it really is, God says to use a rod which I think to be a switch. A parent is not teaching biblical to use their temper and that is not easy to spank a child when you are not mad, but somehow if all are on the same page it just doesn't need to happen. My daughter never punishes her children and they have no manners whatsoever. She was not brought up that way, I just can't understand it. My son's little boy is a little spoiled but he has really nice manners and is sweet as he can be, and he goes to church and I tell him about God all I can so he can know more than I was ever taught in church. By the way, I went to read that Dave I saw on one of your hubs and hope I get time soon to read some more of his, I always wanted to understand Catholic, it never seemed right to me for one man to tell all these people what the bible says. I just have to go back and find out why he still goes there though.


simonpeter35 profile image

simonpeter35 5 years ago from Australia

Great Hub,

I've always tried to discipline myself first before expect my kid to be discipline. A smoker cannot tell their kid not to smoke.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

I guess that's true, my dad smoked but he told us it was bad and he wished he had never started and he did quit, so that is a good lesson too, to see parents aren't perfect and sometimes have to work at making things better.


beth811 profile image

beth811 5 years ago from Philippines

Spanking needs to be done especially when children have kept on repeating their grave mistakes even though how much we have warned them verbally. They may forget what we have said to them as children, but they may not forget how we made them feel. Sparing the rod is tantamount to spoiling the child.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

That is certainly true. If it was just a misdemeanor (lol) I would just warn or shame but any danger one brought to the other definitely would be at least a pop with a paddle but I have to say I think children sense what they can get by with and basically I have very beautiful well mannered children and they did look so much like tho ones above. As soon as I get my new scanner up I will put some pictures of them here, it is easy to see how loving they were.


Summer Foovay 5 years ago

There is a big difference between spanking as discipline and spanking as abuse. If a kid gets hit for every little thing - and sometimes nothing at all - that is abuse. If a kid does something they KNOW is wrong, and have ignored warnings, then a quick pop on the behind isn't going to kill them - but it might get their attention so that next time you say "don't run out in front of a car" they'll hesitate. And live. If you do it a few times when they are small - say 2 or 3 - then you won't have to do it when they are ten. They know you WILL and so they won't make you do it - they don't want a spanking any more than you want to spank them! I've taken to slipping up and whispering a compliment to people who will discipline their children in public (saying "no" or "stop" or giving them THAT LOOK and getting instant obedience - instead of being ignored and child screaming and running wild). When did it become "okay" for children to act like wild animals in public? My DOG is held to better public behavior than most peoples kids. It is to the point that my hubby and I don't go to the movies, and rarely go to dinner, and consider a trip to the mall or shopping a torture because of other people's children. If they act this way as children - what kind of adults are they going to be?


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Probably like some of the adults here, lol. Anyone who loves their children will not abuse them and I would always tell off anyone I saw slap a child in the face but I popped my sister-in-law's little girl on the butt when she left her with me for trying to hit me with a large heavy wood ball and I know it made her mad but she hit windows and the tv and I had had a serious head injury not long before this and it really scared me more than may have normally and I would never think of spanking another person's child but after about a half hour of this (apparently there was more than one ball or my head injury was worse than I thought, lol) I just couldn't take any more of it. She was having fun doing me just like she did her mommy who never touched her and only begged her to be good. Children are terrible today, we never sit near anyone with a child if we go out to eat because you know it is going to be something if just food thrown all over you.


Naomi's Banner profile image

Naomi's Banner 5 years ago from United States

I was raised with spanking parents and knew they loved me very much so I grew up and used spanking to discipline my kids as well my son and his wife use time out and I thought it would never work and said so but I had to eat my words as they were consistent and they dud use cocseqences and all four beautiful children are very well behaved so I told her I was very impressed. Her being my daughter in law. Well written hub kinda like having a conversation


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Well if it works then I suppose that is fine, I would think there is still more there to that than anything so far I have seen, but I will take your word, but my sister-in-law who never spanked had two good girls out of three, but then the third one and her daughter I truly believed helped cause her death. I think this granddaughter was even in jail when she died, a few months before was the first time she had ever opened up and started saying how things really were. So it is possible but I would still use God's way, if you were like me you rarely had to resort to spanking and of course they were sent to their room so it was a time out too. Double whammy...lol


Naomi's Banner profile image

Naomi's Banner 5 years ago from United States

I believe that to do what you say is very important if you tell your child this will happen if they do something wrong then you must stick to it where people miss it is they tend to give twenty warnings then the're not taken seriously


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Yes that is true and I have seen parent like that but I can promise you my babies only a year and 2 weeks apart were almost angels. No one had to put up things they might break. Boy then a girl and they looked like two girls with blonde curls. They were mannerly and absolutely adorable. Until their teens, lol. But I lived, and so did they.


Naomi's Banner profile image

Naomi's Banner 5 years ago from United States

I work in a prtf facility working with juveniles from six to eighteen and it amazes me how little respect us being taught today! These kids have been so used abused and neglected it is pathetic!


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

It is so odd, but other than Mexican's children I see none, lol. Guess I live in an unpopular place for teens, mostly people whose children have grown up and left for more exciting places and that is fine by me. I can imagine though. I even know of an older woman though in another state her grown kids with kids tried to put her out of her house she was leaving them, they took almost all of her money and it was such a shock to me and my husband, but thankfully her lawyer had adviced her to leave a clause that prevented them from throwing her on the street before she dies. The end is near is all i can say and we should all be happy for it if we are ready and of course i never feel ready but I hang to my promise of salvation and don't worry about rewards,


Anaydena profile image

Anaydena 5 years ago from Arlington, TX, USA

I am a FIRM believer in the old bible saying "spare the rod, spoil the child". This is a very controversial topic for most parents out there, for no good reason I say. Spanking is fine, as long as you don't do it out of anger or excessively.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Just the government trying to move into our homes and as I said it was fine for the seven children in my family and I can't remember back on even one time of it happening although I am sure it has bound to have and it didn't hurt mine although most times with my little girl even if she really needed a butt pop I would get so tickled at the little butt hiding dance I usually couldn't go through with it and she was the mean one of the two, which was really nothing, she just had these whopping lies she told and it took us a long time to figure out that they were! Like the bus driver telling them to all get down or they were going to die! Maybe the truth was he said if you don't all sit down I am going to kill you! lol


Anaydena profile image

Anaydena 5 years ago from Arlington, TX, USA

Have you read my latest hub about Derek Hoare? His daughter got taken away by the government for no reason at all. Check it out, rate it for me. I'm trying to help him get his little girl back.


Pollyannalana profile image

Pollyannalana 5 years ago from US Author

Sure.

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