Domestic Violence on the Rise

Domestic Violence on the Rise


Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Domestic Violence on the Rise

Violence in the family is serious business. On the news all too often lately, one can spot another death from a domestic violence perpetration. Unfortunately, a death occurred very close to my home the other night. The woman killed was trying to get herself a order for protection. Don't get me wrong, some orders of protection can work, but remember, it is just a piece of paper at the end of the day. On the news tonight, channel nine discussed different ways a woman can protect herself. Here are some of the ways I teach women in violent relationships to protect themselves. Some women may not even be able to name the abuse and that is OK. We need to support women where they are at and they may not want to leave the relationship. The more educated we are, the more power we have and the safer we are. We must realize that the more economic turmoil in the economy, the more family violence we see. I train in the community on family violence and here are some tips you should look for if your feeling you may be in danger.

  • Trust your instincts- Please listen to your gut. Intuition is our birthright. (Your not Crazy)
  • Talk to someone about your feelings of angst- support is vital
  • Call a crisis line- If you don't know one look online for crisis centers
  • Find one or two neighbors to share what your going through and have a plan if you are in danger. (ex: Flick your outside light on and off in some sequence you have discussed. )
  • Have a safety plan- Pack a bag with clothes for you and your kids if you have them. Make sure you have some money in the bag for emergency. Don't forget shoes. Many women tend to forget the shoes in their bags.
  • Talk to a counselor that works with domestic violence. They need to specialize in this or you may be re-victimized.
  • Call the shelter near you as they give out free cell phones that ONLY call 911.
  • Tell every woman you know that if their perpetrator takes their phone away this is a felony and should be reported.
  • You are not alone. A women is killed in this country every 10 seconds.
  • Come up with a plan if your perpetrator is escalating and you are choosing to stay in the relationship. You may want to go take a walk when you intuit that your partner is ready to explode. Do what is best for you.
  • Write a journal of your feelings and have a trusted friend keep it.

Pay attention to the red flags- Control and Power. This is what keeps the cycle of violence going.

  • Pay attention if your partner is telling you how to speak, what to say to others, how to dress, who to talk to, isolating you, acting jealous when you know you are not straying, verbally abusing you in private, and may be doing this in front of others. Saying you will never find someone else if you leave, threatening or intimidating you.

It only takes up to three months of dating to see these red flags. Try not to minimize, deny or rationalize your partners violent behavior. If you are uncomfortable and feel confused by this behavior, GO GET HELP.

© Laura Rogers Arne

Comments 8 comments

CYBERSUPE profile image

CYBERSUPE 6 years ago from MALVERN, PENNSYLVANIA, U.S.A.

Hi Healing Touch, you are so right that Domestic violance is on the increas and often children are involved. Either directly or indirectly. Nice hub Healing Toush and God Bless!


Arwen Taylor 6 years ago

Most cases of abuse rise when the economy takes a nosedive. People are frustrated and end up taking it out on the people that are close to them. These are good tips to help women who are in a bad situation. The hard part is hoping they will listen and heed the advice. Some women hold hope that their partner will change but most abusers do not and too often that results in the death of the woman.

Thank you for writing this guide and all the work that you do for abused women.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 6 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

AT,

you are so correct. In this economy it is inevitable that domestics are up. Thanks for the recognition you gave me. I left a marriage after 13 years due to abuse. Women so often care take the men that hurt them. I will do what I can to help these women stay safe.


Simple Tim profile image

Simple Tim 6 years ago

We often think that it is better to 'mind our own business' but sometimes we can actually change or save someones life by intervening.

No doubt the dwindling economy is the result of many social evils but for those of us who can keep a straight head thorugh it all...we need to help keep those around us stay sane too. Especially if you are aware of domestic violence taking place in your own family. Do something about it.

Knowledge is power indeed. Most woman stay in abusive relationships thinking that there is no way out. There is always a way out- the biggest obstacle however is overcoming the fear of taking that step.

Thanks for raising awareness on this important yet often over looked issue.


Minnetonka Twin profile image

Minnetonka Twin 3 years ago from Minnesota

It's gotten so frightening this past six months. The three girls that were kidnapped and kept as prisoners, Kira Travino who was killed by her husband, Danielle Jelinek whose been missing, and Mandy Matula of Eden prairie. It's just so scary and makes you look over your shoulder and wonder if you know anyone for real. Great and important hub sis. Hit many buttons and voted up and shared.


Healing Touch profile image

Healing Touch 3 years ago from Minnetonka, MN Author

MT- It is scary to know how many around us are violent, but we need to teach others nonviolence and role model to them what peace looks like. There are so many good people in the world.


nybride710 profile image

nybride710 3 years ago from Minnesota

I know you're from the Twin Cities too. It is amazing the number of domestic violence murders here this year already. It has nearly become an epidemic. The most dangerous time for an abused woman is when she is trying to leave the relationship. We can all play a part by knowing the warning signs and not being afraid to get infolved.


lab143 profile image

lab143 3 years ago

This is great advice! It is scary how much domestic violence is out there that we are not even aware of and the abused often keep hanging on hoping for change in their abuser. We need to learn skills to help women reach that turning point and take a step in the right direction towards loving themselves instead of defending their abuser. Thanks for sharing this...very insightful and interesting hub!

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