How to Help your Child Build Self-Confidence and Self-Esteem

Children in the Early Stages:

Inspired by Elias...


Aristotle confirmed that parents should pay special attention to their children till they are 21 years old and never stop their traditional fostering at a certain age. He said that we should start with reading, writing and math since these subjects constitute the preliminary and profound background for the upcoming more complex studies. Also, John Locke postulates that individuals are born with a blank slate or white page referring to the mind where the society like school, friends and family distill all the experiences through the years. On the other hand, Rousseau stressed the necessity of progressive methodology to teach children. He noticed that the kid is not just a small ignorant entity, but an intelligent creature which can be molded easily and affected by special means of teaching. While school is very important to build up the child’s personality, the family play a major role and sometimes more important than the school. The child spends lots of time with the parents and tries to copy everything around like the way of eating, drinking, swearing, walking etc. So, parents should be careful dealing with the kid specially the way they talk or behave.

Below are some easy, simple and short ways of building self-confidence in children and enhancing the sense of individualism within them. They are like keywords based on real experience and experimental child psychology which we should remember when dealing with kids:

Steps to build self-esteem are

- Praise your kid in front of others

- Don’t let your child criticize himself

- Address your kid with: would you please?

- Treat him as a child and let him live his childhood

- Help him make his own decision.

- Teach him how to swim

- Make him the guest of honor in an occasion

- Ask him his own opinion about something and let him choose.

- Assign a space in the house for his toys or works. Write his name on his projects and give him credit.

- Help him make new friends but carefully.

- Make him feel and see his importance and his status.

- Teach him how to express his views and speak of himself in public without fear.

- Show him how to read directions and how to follow them.

- Teach him how to set goals, principles and duties for himself and how to pursue them.

- Teach him the basics of first aid.

- Answer all his questions and never ignore them.

- Whenever you promise, fulfill that promise and don’t fail him.

- Teach him how to cook simple dishes like boiled eggs, fried potatoes, toasted bread etc

- Teach him the meaning of teamwork.

- Encourage him to ask questions and to be curious.

- Make him feel that he is important in front of his friends.

- Explain the reasons of any decision made by you.

- Be with him on the first day of school.

- Tell him stories about your childhood.

- Teach him how to be found when he is lost.

- Teach him how to refuse and say NO!

- Teach him how to give away charity and to be kind.

- Sit with him and show him how to study and memorize.

- Teach him how to defend himself.

- Never threaten him, intimidate or criticize him, but show him the right way.

- Teach him how to face failure and not to give up.

- Teach him how to invest his money and buy useful things

- Share with him his ambitions and dreams and encourage him.

- Teach him how to be responsible for his actions

- Show him how to be nice to pets and animals.

- Apologize to him for any obvious mistake committed by you.

- Surprise him from time to time.

- Finally, always say that you love him and hold him because this will boost his confidence.

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Comments 32 comments

TattoGuy 5 years ago

I am hoping my best friend joins my new Forum ; )


AskAshlie3433 profile image

AskAshlie3433 5 years ago from WEST VIRGINIA

These are surely good tips. Thank you so much!


Rachel 5 years ago

Amazing. I have two kids and if I read this every morning it will do wonders... I started a blog and work on it with my 11 year old. It gives us quality time to sit together (even though my 15 month tries to get in the way)


jennifer hartman 5 years ago

i have an 11 year old girl with very low confidence and self esteem issues, any ideas how i can make her feel better?


Uriel profile image

Uriel 6 years ago from Lebanon

AMAZING :D I really loved how you introduced the topic through some philosopher's points of view :D Rousseau's point of view somehow reminded me of Freud's. I mean he said childhood is a critical stage in which a person's personality in molded, childhood is responsible for what he will become in the future . (NOT A DIRECT QUOTE :D )

I thumbs up-ed it :D


couponalbum profile image

couponalbum 6 years ago from Sunnyvale, CA

What a great hub, fantastic advice. Liked your other hubs too. Joining your fanclub and would like to invite you to join mine.


Hedge Thief (Lover Lover) 6 years ago

Ohhhh.... Hedge Thief Lover... :* .... I bet you smell of roses, pansys, tulips, eraser shavings, pencils, with a hint of plywood and peppermint (scrumtious)....*deep meaningful sigh of relief* SHUT UP JOHN AND THAT'S NOT REAL TOMMY SO DON'T TOUCH THAT, CEDRIC, POOOOOOO


izettl profile image

izettl 6 years ago from The Great Northwest

TERRIFIC suggestions. I have a 2 yr old and I use a lot of these. One thing I wanted to do differently with my child from the way I was raised is to have her try many new things. I was often shy around kids when i was little because I didn't know how to swim, roller skate, or ride a bike until I was older- my mother thought it was too dangerous. Not knowing how to do kid activities like those excluded me from many play times.


Hedge Theif Lover 6 years ago

Hedge Theif, I know the feeling! we have SOOO much in common. My son is a SMELLEH BOY!


Hedge Theif 6 years ago

My daughter is VERY insecure. All I ever say is that she smells funny...and she DOES! UGH! *puke*


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Hi Shamel, I am bookmarking this hub to share to our teachers. Thanks for writing this. :)


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines

Happy New Year!


Meri 6 years ago

Great Advice ! I have just begun to praise my daughter in front of others. A bit embarrassing for me, but if its going to give her the confidence she needs, and I see some signs already, then great ! Thanks for the hub !


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

Thanks a lot sweetie1. This is an honor :)


sweetie1 profile image

sweetie1 6 years ago from India

Awesome advise.. i would keep this page saved for ever and when i get married and have kids i would definitely consult this page time and again


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

How sweet of you kimbaustin, appreciate it. Glad it touched you :)


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

Yesi, Elias touched me in many ways and made me determine what to name my kid if ever I have one someday! Some people are gifted by having wonderful gifts (children). I thank you from my heart for your presence here.


kimbaustin profile image

kimbaustin 6 years ago from Sunny California

What a great post. I couldn't have said it better. I am going to forward it to a few sets of new parents that I know.


Sharing Insight profile image

Sharing Insight 6 years ago

How very touching...inspired by Elias...a brilliant name and person I'm sure :)

Thank you Shamel...such wisdom and awesome sensibility for someone whom doesn't even have children yet, how lucky your children will be.


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

This is good for both Dame, you and your kids and I think they will do the same someday. Thanks.


Dame Scribe profile image

Dame Scribe 6 years ago from Canada

I raised my own kids under such beliefs also and hope they remember to do the same with their own children. Great tips! :)


myownworld profile image

myownworld 6 years ago from uk

Being a mother of two small children, I couldn't agree more with you. I loved the idea about teaching kids to cook a simple dish...and to give charity and be kind to others..! Also, to apologize to a child in case of a mistake, something so many parents forget. Absolutely wonderful advice.....you really show great insight into human nature....! thank you for this...


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

Thanks a lot JJ :)


Pachuca213 6 years ago

This is an absolutely fabulous hub!


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

Yeah Invictus, add to that loving the kids as there is no tomorrow besides educating them.. They are our image after all.. Thanks for stopping by.


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

Great tip there Shalini! There should be somekind of a course, and that's what I'm doing. This hub is meant for me and everyone out there seeking perfection in parenthood. Thanks dear for visiting.


I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s profile image

I*n*v*i*c*t*u*s 6 years ago

Wonderful hub, Shamel! Great advice and so important for raising children. It is a delicate balance to raise esteemed children whom feel loved.


Shalini Kagal profile image

Shalini Kagal 6 years ago from India

Shamel - what fantastic advice - I do wish many parents and follow this. I honestly feel there should be a 'be a better parent' course that is mandatory before you have kids! Wonderful hub, thank you!


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

Oh, glad for you GH... You'll make a great educated father :)


GeneralHowitzer profile image

GeneralHowitzer 6 years ago from Land of Salt, Philippines

Hehehe great Hub bookmarked it for future use... Planning to have kids next year if God permits...


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 6 years ago Author

My true real friend dohn, thanks a lot and Nope, not yet :) Don't have a kid yet but be sure he'll be so lucky to have me :) Thanks dohn.


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 6 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

What amazing advice! I really enjoyed reading this. After doing so, I almost wish that I had a kid just so I can follow the advice...I'm guessing that you have one, Shamel? Thank you for sharing this one.

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