So you think you are a great dad? Fatherhood - top tips for fatherhood and being the best partner

Tale of the unexpected

Maybe you are reading this thinking "oh here we go" someone who thinks men need to do more or don't do enough, well actually I'm not.

Every parent knows that who they were before their first bundle of joy arrived into the world is far removed from who they are now.

We all read the books about what to expect when you're expecting, the guides for expectant mothers, as well as the helpfully honest and hilarious accounts of pregnancies from mothers.

I did read one book about impending fatherhood but its focus was all about how to help your partner when they are pregnant and what to say/not to say to keep the fluctuating hormones at bay!

Having had three children, let me just say I CANNOT BELIEVE no father has written an insanely honest account of the first 5 years of fatherhood.

The initial overwhelming love remains for your new child but the physical, mental and relationship scales that once were pretty evenly balanced start to swing like a pendulum on acid!

Not only do fathers have to find a role as a "father" for which I do not believe there is a statutory job description (yet), they need to become mind readers, sympathetic caring partners who can smile through night after night of sleep deprivation. Fathers content with no napping during the day, no snoring while we are breastfeeding at 3am,4am,5am,630am. No sarcasm can ever spout forth from your tongue about "hey I've been out working all day, give me a break - I'm tired". Well you can say this if you are really stupid and willing to risk a bobbit style attack after the 3am breastfeed!

Fathers need to be compassionate about fact they escape (and yes that is the correct and accurate word) back to work a few days after life changes for ever, while their partner stays home and has to learn how to take on the hardest, most challenging role they will ever face and do it 24/7 for the next 18 years. Doing this plus all the while trying to cope with the ridiculous pressure to lose weight, look sexy, toned and lithe, look younger, cook magnificent dinners, do "everyones" laundry and SMILE through it all, especially when she feels like a release of a single tear may trigger a waterfall effect of weeping which really could last for days, if not weeks.

Take f-in note all 'soon to be' or 'newbie' fathers, you need to crack on to fact your life, as you know it, has gone, never to return! EVER!

Your partner, girlfriend, wife really needs you, more than ever but won't be able to say what has just been said without wanting to choke you, once she is in the midst of the wonderful (and sometimes awful) world of motherhood

You have been warned - Don't 'F' it up Fathers!

Good luck.

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t-willy 5 years ago from Minneapolis

I am very surprised as well that there isn't a detailed account of being a new dad! It was the most shocking, frustrating, but educational and rewarding responsibilities I've ever experienced. You don't truly know yourself, or your spouse until you try to raise and nurture a child. And you don't truly know your parents and understand how they raised you until you see them as grandparents to your kids.

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