The Joys and Sorrows of a Foster Parenting ?

caring for foster children

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Foster Parenting the Realities

My husband and I always wanted a fourth child. We decided adopting might be the best option. In speaking with the Department of Social Services we found out what a great need there was for foster parents. I knew a little about the subject already having met parents at work in the hospital. I was a registered nurse in the newborn nursery and knew the hospital often kept children longer than medically necessary while DSS was looking for foster parents.

We decided we would like to give our time and talents to this and that it would help our own children to learn more about helping others and also learn some responsibility in caring for an infant.

Our home was inspected by DSS and the fire marshall. We had to have all the usual protective devices for our home including working fire extinguishers, fire alarms, etc. We were finger printed and had a SLED check run on us. We passed and were ready to go.

We received our first infant only one week after certification. My husband was on his way to pick up pizza for us on a Friday night and came home with pizza and a tiny black infant. He was beautiful.

We had agreed to special needs infants since I worked in the newborn nursery. Little William had a SIDS (sudden infant death) monitor he wore around the clock. He had been born prematurely and weighed only 4lb 3 oz. and was therefore at a higher risk of developing heart problems and or stopping breathing.

We took turns getting up through the night with William and our first experience in foster parenting was a joy. What we thought was going to be a short placement went into months as we later found was often the case.

The hardest part was giving him love ,which came naturally ,while trying not to get attached. My son especially enjoyed spending time with William. He was only 8 years old at the time. There were frequent trips to the health clinic for well baby checks and immunizations. We were given a small allowance for clothes and diapers and food stamps for formula, although I did not like using them.

William's biological father lived in the Northeast and we lived in the South. It became apparent after a couple of months that his father definitely wanted full custody. There was still the wait for William's mother to relinquish all parental rights and for him to gain enough weight to be placed with his Dad.

After 8 months (yes 8) it was finally time for William to go home. His paternal grandparents, aunts, uncles, cousins and father all loaded into a minivan and made the long trip to our home.

As difficult as it was to let go of Jack we were so happy for his father, Joe. The family had dinner with us and spent much of the afternoon in our home. Both Jack's father and grandfather were teachers. Joe was a kindergarten teacher. The entire family was so happy to finally meet him. Jack had doubled his weight and was close to 10 lbs.

It was finally time to say goodbye . We tearfully put him Joe's arms and sent any clothes I had purchased that still fit. As they left I could only wonder what our future foster parenting might hold. In one year we received a card and picture of William at 18 months of age. This was one of our best parenting experiences. I may will never see William again and he may never know about me but maybe somehow my family and I made a little difference in helping this little guy get a good start on life.

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Comments 6 comments

nancynurse profile image

nancynurse 4 years ago from Southeast USA Author

It does but we got a lot from it also . Thank you so much for your kind words.


nancynurse profile image

nancynurse 4 years ago from Southeast USA Author

I admire you too It does take a lot of work. Thank you for reading and your kind words.


nancynurse profile image

nancynurse 4 years ago from Southeast USA Author

thank you so much for reading and your kind words.


nancynurse profile image

nancynurse 4 years ago from Southeast USA Author

Thank you for you kind words. As often happens I think received more than we gave.


Millionaire Tips profile image

Millionaire Tips 5 years ago from USA

I have been a foster parent, and it was challenging for me even though I did not have children that young, or have them as long. I really admire what you did.


RTalloni profile image

RTalloni 5 years ago from the short journey

It takes great courage to be that kind of foster parent.

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