Grandfather's Nudist Colony
The Naked Truth
My grandfather was a notorious prankster long before I was born. He was a step grandfather to me but the only one I ever knew.
Previously to me, his son Jimmy had been the butt of his good natured practical jokes. Jimmy was an easy going and patient young man. However there comes a point when even the most patient person has had enough and he was no exception. Grandfather had to be put in his place.
So, Jimmy went about devising a plan to retaliate. Eventually a devious plan was hatched and the war was on.
The plan began with placing “Property for Sale” signs on the adjoining property. This perplexed my grandfather since he knew the owners and couldn’t think of a reason why they would want to sell.
My grandparents lived on a 40 acre tract of land atop a small mountain in the Ozarks and all of their neighbors had been clued in as to what was going to take place, with the exception of grandmother. She couldn’t be trusted to keep a secret of this magnitude.
Operation: "Nudist Colony"
So, “Operation Nudist Colony” had been set in motion weeks before grandfather received the official looking piece of mail marked “URGENT, READ IMMEDIATELY”. The envelope bore an impressive, elaborately adorned logo of some imanginary real estate corporation.
The envelope was opened and grandfather read the letter which had been printed on fine paper emblazoned with the fake real estate company’s letterhead. The contents informed local residents about the recent acquisition of property in their community and future plans for it.
According to my mother, who witnessed the event, everybody within a mile would’ve thought the house was on fire the way he went screaming for grandmother. The letter informed local residents of a proposed plan to build a nudist colony on the next tract of land. It went on to explain they knew some would object to this proposal but to allay their fears plans had been made to erect a 9 foot wooden fence around the colony.
Grandfather didn’t care whether a fence was put up or not. Nobody was going to put up a nudist colony anywhere around there. He was outraged and began calling neighbors with the alarming news. Of course, they were in on the prank and told him they thought it was a great idea. He was flabbergasted. He wrote the newspaper and took a petition around for people to sign, which nobody did.
Jimmy let his father stew for about a month before he finally relented and told him it was all a prank. Grandfather had fallen for it hook, line and sinker and I wish I had been around to see it.
More by this Author
We used an outhouse, got water from a well,.used coal oil lanterns washed clothes and took baths in a creek at the foot of our mountain. , a fireplace for heat, and wood burning stove for cooking.
Stuff happens! That’s the nice version of a pretty popular phrase. Read on about a true story of when it really did hit the fan so to speak, to my younger brother.
CB's beccame popular during the 1970's. Partly because of the 1973 oil crisis and a nationwide 55 mph speed limit. CB’s were used to help truckers locate stations having fuel and avoiding speed traps