Grandparents Parenting the Second Time Around
Parenting The Second Time Around
Most of us, at my age, felt that we would be enjoying a life without the daily duties of taking care of little people. However, some of us have found ourselves parenting for the second time around. This is not new but grandparents parenting for the second time has been on the rise for over the last ten years.
My husband and I have been rearing, who I'll call, "The Prince" since he was three months old. His mom had lost her place to stay and we move her and our grandson in with us. However, she died about a year and a half later when The Prince was two and a half.
Our son has custody and is active in his life but we've maintained the day-to-day rearing of The Prince. I must say that some days were more overwhelming than others but we both look back six years ago and wouldn't have it any other way. Hands down, we would make the same decision today. We realize they we may have to redo this effort again if one of our other grandchildren need us.
My mom just said the other day "that you can't save the world" but I do know that good given out returns in abundance!
The Causes of Second Parenting
The 90's produced a epidemic of "teenage motherhood." Teenagers who were biologically able to have children but who were not able to emotionally and mentally take care of them. The schools tried to keep these teenagers in school and developed a curriculum dedicated to their circumstances. They were taken out of the general school population and allowed to bring their children to the facility while they continued their education.
The grandchild and mother resided with the parent(s) until she was able to maintain her own place. However, this situation lended itself to making the grandparents in-house babysitters and co-parentors.
Another cause was the rise of drug addiction. Teenagers and young adults became addicted and would literally leave their children on the grandparents doorsteps! These children were fortunate to be spared the vagrancy lifestyle of an addicted parent.
Thirdly, lifestyles and situations of adult children would cause other grandparents to step in to take over the role of parenting. Divorce has been a huge catalyst in leaving a single mother/father unprepared for the emotional and financial responsibilties of rearing children alone.
Whatever the situation, grandparents have sometimes unwillingly embraced this responsibility in order to perserve the life of little people!
Cons of Second Parenting
- Your not as young as you use to be! That's a given! Children today are so much more smarter than they were when I first started parenting!
- Your older than the other parents at the School's PTA.
- Your time must be adjusted to incorporate the needs of the little people. For some, it means learning how to use these new fangled diapers, bottles, and thermometers!
- You need to keep your reading glasses nearby to read directions for medicines and notes.
- You will re-enter the world of Day Care, Providers, and for some Family Services.
- You will need to make sure you hold on to your vacation and personal times for teacher conferences and emergencies.
- Your role of grandparent is diminish somewhat because you have also become the child's parent.
Pros of Second Parenting
- You will preserve the life of a child.
- You offer a place of stability but most of all love for a child.
- Every child should know that they are truly loved and not tolerated!
- You will maintain the ability to restore the child back to the parent in better times.
- Your wiser and will be able to avoid the pitfalls of your first parenting experience!
- Children innately recognize love and return it with the best of intentions!
- Little people keep you young and smiling. This often happens when they think that they are smarter than you. Not understanding that you've done this before!
In my conclusion, second parenting isn't for the faint of heart or for those who look at the children as being a cash cow. It is for those who choose to leave a legacy of love! A gift that continues to give even when we are but a memory!
Live Well, Live Blessed!
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