Handling Teens Need Not Be A Serious Challenge

As a parent, you may face a few serious challenges while dealing with your teens. Nowadays, teens have a number of opportunities to get distracted or even go astray. They may try to test many new things and this may include forbidden and dangerous habits also. But, only if they know the consequences and implications of their behaviors or actions, they can be prevented from ruining their lives. This is a very delicate issue because when you discuss these behaviors with your teens, they should not get the feeling that you are trying to control them excessively. You can use the following tips for handling such situations.

- You should first understand why your teens act the way they do. They may sometimes try to push their limits and you should realize that there is nothing unusual about this. Teens will learn fast if they experiment and experience things themselves and so, they may speak lies, they may skip classes or indulge in all sorts of activities that you may be considering as unusual. But, these activities are not really unusual.

- You must be patient with your teens even after coming to know that they are indulging in the so-called unusual activities. Your teens may sometimes be very mature in their behaviors but you can be certain that brain development in them is not yet complete. This is what may be hampering their decision making capabilities.

- Preventing their bad behaviors before they begin can be one of the most effective ways for disciplining your teens. This may be possible only if you have certain domestic rules. You should ensure that your teens understand these rules and their significance. Further, you should be specific about these rules. For example, your teens should know that things like coming back home very late or staying at friends' places without obtaining permission are not allowed. If they do not comply with the rules, you can give them punishment like not allowing them to watch their favorite TV programs, etc.

In general, such punishments will work because teens may not like to lose something in which they are interested in. But, if they do not come round and if they are angry with your punishments, you can construe that there is something is seriously wrong or fishy. You can think of seeking professional help for correcting them.

- As pointed out above, experience will educate your teens and put them on the right path. But, if you allow things to go out of control, it may jeopardize their life itself. So, you should intervene at the right moment to bring them back to the right track. You may certainly find this process hard but if you do not take this step on time, the consequences may be worse.

- Experts opine that positive motivation can work wonders. This means that you should be ready to reward your teens if they mend their behaviors. You should not hesitate to lavish praises on them if they behave responsibly. Even if they do small chores for helping you, you should appreciate them. If you appreciate them as frequently as possible and thank them whenever they help you, they will certainly be ready to heed your advice.
- You must be careful while expressing your displeasure. Teens can be highly sensitive and if you hurt them by using the wrong words, you may be worsening the situation. If you think that you are uncontrollably angry with your child, it is better to keep quiet till you regain your composure. Reacting when you are emotionally upset may have negative effects.
Both you and your teens should be calm when you discuss such issues. You must handle the situation patiently and with a calm demeanor. If you are not confident of handling it, you can request your spouse or a close friend to help you.
- Domestic rules cannot be cut and dried. You should be ready to review them periodically. Occasional relaxing of the rules to a limited extent will not do any harm.
- Your teens should understand that your words of advice and your actions are intended to help them. If you keep this point in mind and make your moves, you can certainly win over your teens.

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denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

Teenagers, once you get to know them, can be a lot of fun. They certainly come up with interesting issues and questions! When our children were teens, they often liked to surprise me by asking off-the-wall things, that they weren't really planning on doing, just to see how I would react. When I realized that was what they were doing, I changed my reactions, and they stopped doing it. We had great talks, though, as they were very curious to know how things worked and what would happen if they did a certain thing. We all learned in the process!

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