How Child Support Is Calculated On Your Pay Check

Child Support Garnishment Through Payroll

Regardless if you have been receiving a child support garnishment on your pay check for some time now, or if it has just been set up, understanding the child support calulator your employer uses can be confusing. Employers are required by state child support enforcement to follow strict rules when it comes to how to calculate child support deduction.

They are given detailed order paperwork from state CS enforcement offices that outlines the child support calculator equation they are required to use to calculate your child support

Your employer can not change the amount nor can they legally help you avoid paying your child support garnishment. Nothing you bring in to your employer can change your child support garnishment amount. They are mandated to follow only the rules and guidelines set by the child support garnishment as set by the state child support enforcement office.

Other Considerations

Short of contacting your Child Support Enforcement Officer requesting a reevaluation of your child support amount, or getting child support lawyers there really isn't much you can do to lower your support amounts.

Your employer must by law follow the order as it is written or they could face stiff fines. They can not skip a child support payment for you just because your having a hard time with cash this week or pay less towards the deduction because a large advance was given to you. The child support will still be taken from disposable earnings, and you may be left with little, nothing, or even left owing your company money.

Your Child Support Payroll Deduction

If your child support order is regulated and distributed by the state child support enforcement office you live in, unless other arrangements such as by getting help child support lawyers, your child support garnishment will come out of your paycheck. If you're wondering if child support comes out before taxes, it doesn't. Child support does come before any other court ordered deduction though.

When your employer receives a child support garnishment in your name this notice is forward to your companies payroll department. The payroll department then sets up the automatic child support garnishment so that with every payroll, the correct amount of child support will come out using automated or manual child support calculators.

The amounts that are to come out of your check for your child support garnishment are not determined by your employer or the payroll company. Strict guidelines are set forth in child support order that details the child support calculator equation your employer should use to calculate how much to withhold from each of your payroll checks.

When there is not enough income earned to satisfy the child support garnishment amount requested by your states child support enforcement agency, a payroll calculation must be done to determine how much to withhold from your paycheck.

The calculation used to calculate your child support garnishment amount takes into account whether you have back taxes owed, or are supporting another family. The percentage to withold in this instance is determined and set by the state and not determined by your employer. Child support can take 50%, 55% 60% or up to 65% of your disposable income. Most often, it is 50%.

Disposable income is not the same as Gross or Net income. Disposable income is income left over after taxes have been taken out and before any voluntary deductions

THE FORMULA Your payroll department will take into consideration first whether your disposable income already exceeds the percentage allowable for withholding. If it does not, the following formula will be used.

Gross - taxes = disposable income

disposable income ÷ set percentage (50% -65%) =

deduction amount.

For instance.

If child support amount is $550 a month your gross is $1200 and your taxes are $200 it would look like this.

$1200 - $200 =$1000 disposable income

$1000 ÷ 50% = $500

$500 will go towards your towards your child support because anything more would exceed the amount allowable.

The other $500 goes to you.

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Comments 195 comments

Susan in Florida  9 years ago

Thanks for the information on child support payroll deductions. I hear a lot of complaints from non-custodial parents, mostly fathers, about how much support they have to pay. It seems like they think the court just makes up the numbers for the amount to be paid.

I have the opposite problem, I am still waiting for the State to issue an order for support--over one year and counting!

4change profile image

4change 9 years ago from St Charles, MO

I've been told by the non custodial parent that they were taking out more than they were allowed so I would pitty him. Though I doubt it was true, I have found many laws aren't inforced. I started a campaign to bring awarness to this topic also. I have my site listed on here if you want to see what I've dealt with.

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sunstreeks 9 years ago from Western Washington Author

4change, it does happen that CS is calculated incorrectly. With that said, if he felt payroll was calculating his cs wrong, then he should have called them. If the did and they said it was wrong, they would have to correct the problem (this does not neccesarly mean that the amounts already deducted will be corrected, just that the future amounts will be looked at more closely) of verify it was done the way the order outlined, then he should have called the enforcement agency, if he did call them and they said that it was being done right, then tough for him.

Many people don't understand that it is not half of the net pay, it is half of disposable income, and this can confuse many. Rarely would CS be calculated incorrectly over and over. Don't pity him. I'll check out your site soon :)

josh 8 years ago

i think the way they do child support is improper how do they expect someone to live off of that little income say for instance the guy will bring home 500 and the women makes the same she will receive 1500 that's 3 times the amount that the guy will earn

and another thing when i went to child support i want to know how they call go off of your gross income instead of what you acually bring home well i guess it really doesn't matter its not fair period i pay 960 a month for my kids and i bring in 1720 before taxes one optoin im comeing close to doing is not paying and go to jail then i am garanteed a place to stay and 3 meals a day

Amber 8 years ago

I just find it really funny that men complain that they have to pay child support. You had that should have to pay for them. Gosh, the woman is taking care of the child by feeding them, bathing them, taking them to sports and school...all you have to do is send a check. I think that's getting off easy actually.

Kerry Lopez 8 years ago

We have the child and still pay child support.Go figure that one out.

Another Josh 8 years ago

I raise my son. My wife has nothing to do with him. She pays no support. She doesn't see him. Nothing. Didn't stop her from claiming him on her taxes, though.

I'm not going to complain about child support in the form of having to pay it. I am, however, going to gripe a bit about how laws concerning support are set up. For example, various states will only look into a reassessment after X number of years. So you may be working a job making $3,000 a month when your payments are assigned, lose that job, and wind up making only $1,200 a month, let's say a year and a half later. Perhaps even another child later. You're now raising another child, you're making considerably less money and trying to eke by, and you have to suffer through that rate of payment, unable to hire a lawyer due to making so much less money and paying out so much. The state refuses to review your case without it going through the courts. Your state's legal aide won't help you. What do you do?

And yes. I'm speaking from experience. I have a daughter with an ex-girlfriend. She lived in "state A". I live in "state B." She moved from "state A" to "state C," though "state A" still continues to collect the support for her. I cannot get legal aide in "state B" because the support is collected in "state A" and I can't get legal aide in "state A" because I live in "state B." I also cannot afford a lawyer. I haven't even been able to afford a divorce from my wife. My son and I have to live with family because, frankly, we can't afford to live due to the unwillingness of these various states to work with us in our situation. I can't even get legal aide for the divorce because my wife never abused me. It's rediculous.

Some people understand the need to pay support. Some people are willing to pay what they can. But when the system put in place refuses to bend to work with these people who want to make things right, it creates problems and only serves to hurt all parties involved.

And please don't say "it's always men" who gripe, because my wife would rather die than pay for our son. Don't say that "men don't ever pay" or the likes, because I have no objections to paying support for my daughter, even though I haven't seen her in over a year because she lives too far away. My wife lives an hour away and hasn't seen our boy since 3rd quarter last year.

I apologize for my little rant at the end and the length of my post. ;)

shanna 8 years ago

i am a mother of 2. one of my children's fathers pays support. the other does not because he refuses to work. i don't complain about how much or how little i get from them. i had actually told both of them to give me what they thought they could afford to and still have money to live on. i do think that support is calculated unfairly. my daughter's father supports 3 kids and ends up living on $120 a week. barely enough to pay his bills. i don't think that's fair even though i only get $70 a week from him. and my son's father, well i have told him repeatedly to just give me even $20 a week and i'd be happy, but he refuses so now i'm in court for that.

but even with my boyfriend. he has 2 kids from a previous relationship. we pay $141 a week! and end up with $140! now tell me how it's right that the court takes half a paycheck each week? not only that, she gets food stamps, free medical, free school & daycare for the kids, and works one day job and an under the table job as well and makes about $300 a week. to make it worse, she lives with my boyfriend's mother for only $300 a month! and has no other bills. so not only does she get free food, daycare and medical and live for next to nothing, she ends up with $900 of her own money every month and then has the $564 we pay her left over while we struggle on $140 a week and cant even pay all our bills every month!

i think the courts should take into account how much money the mother makes and what her expenses are as well as the father's. they make you fill out financial affadavits for your income and expenses, however they don't count your expenses or the mother's financials for anything! they just take the father's pay and tell them how much they have to pay without caring if the mother makes triple what the father does but has 1/3 of the expenses! the courts need to start making laws that are fair for both parents not just the mother.

Kevin 8 years ago

Yeah, my life really suck right now too. I pay required expenses wheere I live with my 69 year old single mother father passed 8 years ago and have struggled to my worst. I have a child with the woman I loved and wanted to marry. When we conceived the child, due to bad conditions at her home she went to live 250 miles away and cheated on me, then caught herpes, which THANK GOD I didn't get. I no longer wanted the relationship but wanted to see the child. She refused and basically wanted me to just deal with her STD and be happy. Now she doesn't keep in touch with me and is always taking me to court and I pay 150.00 a week off of a 440.00 week gross. I cannot live or even continue my eduacation due to this money hungry woman. She told me she will make me pay for not staying with her, because I cant accept a cheater. I have no money to live on now and am considering just going to the other side. When life isn't worth living anymore, why try when you are burdened with communist monkey on your shoulder. I am a person who never fell behind on payments and carried myself with pride and have just lost hope and cant pay anymore. If I die the child will get Social Security from me and I can rest in peace from this slow grave digging process.

Dave7007 8 years ago


sunstreeks profile image

sunstreeks 8 years ago from Western Washington Author

Dave7007 with pleasure I will respond in stating that your response is entirely incorrect. Not only can payroll deduct 50% of disposable pay, but they actually can deduct up to 65% depending on the state the order is issued it and whether the non-custodial parent owes back support and is supporting a (new) family. It's been my experience that many states just use the lowest 50% amount.

You number of 17% is ridiculous. A typical credit garnishment has the right to take 25% of disposable income.

Though I do not know your motive for posting ramblings of inaccuracy, but it's been a pleasure to respond.

noyb 8 years ago

Some fathers do have the right to complain. How about my boyfriend who left his wife for being a cheating b**** adn she took the kid and disappeared for 3 years. Do you think the state takes that into consideration when they take half his paycheck away and he has to live off top ramen wondering where the hell his daughter is?? NO they don't. Or the fact that the mom (who recently reappeared) doesn't work herself AT ALL? NO. And ya some bosses do mess up payroll. My bf was getting $100 dollar paychecks for a long time.

shelly 8 years ago

As an employer who has to deal with CS garnishments and also being in a relationship that my husband has his wages garnished I can say more often than not it is the male parent who gets the royal rip-off. They go to court and getted treated like dirt even when they are trying to do the right thing..often they deal with employers that are unclear about how to actually calculate cs and often they have no where to turn. Are there deadbeat dads out there-sure just as there deadbeat moms.

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grannyshine 7 years ago

My rm mate recently got hit for child support from years ago, from where her mom got families first on her youngest daughtewr, she was living with her grandmother by choice not court order, becauseshe has accecce to credit cards,cell phones etc, And now the state is takeing half my rm mates checks and she is partialy disabled and can only work part time, im having to pay most of the bills myself(i wonr abandon her and kick her out), she may work about 3-4 days a month, wich leaves her hardly anything at all to live on, she has to collect foodstamps , this picture just doesn't seem right at all, is there anything she can do?

KAK 7 years ago

I have two girls and I pay $880 a month in support. In 2008, I kept my girls over 50% of the time and i still had to pay support. I am 90% sure that my ex make more money then me and my two year divorce anversery is coming up and my bitch of an ex has already said that she will take me back to court to get more money from me. I am not sure what i can do. I did not have that much on an increase in pay that would make that much of a difference to what i am paying now, but it is the principle of it all. I am still trying to pay off the debt that we got ourselves into when we were together and live at the same time. If it was not for my wifes paycheck I would not make it. OH! Did I mention that she wanted the divorce and is pitter as hell right now after 2 1/2 years of being apart.

What can I do to stop her from keeping me down. I play a major role in my girls part and want to be able to provide for them when they are with me, but i can not...... UGGG!!!!

Any help would be appreciated!!!!!!


candy 7 years ago

Well, I am actuially pretty excited reading this. being a single mother for 4 years. and my kids father paycheck goes to weed, liquor, hoes, and hotels. he 33 years old living with his mother in a 6 bedroom and 4 bathroom housem living his life. while i am over here struggling, with these 2 kids. and im their mommy and daddy. i cant wait til that day, when half his check gone. LOL!his momma boy self gona be crying

Jason 7 years ago

Let me begin by saying that the bias against men is completely unfair. People shouldn't generalize their opinions on child support because some bad apples don't take responsibility for what they created. I have one child. I gross about 450 a week. After taxes, about 320 a week. I owe 140 dollars a week in child support. I am as much a part of my sons life as his mother will allow me to be. How can I survive off 180 a week? I have bills to pay too. She makes 750 a week and adds my support to that. That's almost 900 a week. We have roughly the same amount of bills to pay. The difference is, she has to feed my son. I eat at least as much as the two of them by myself, which I cannot change without starving myself. I am in great shape and definitely not a glutton. Any of the discriminating women that read this, feel free to justify it. There is no justice in our child support laws!

MEGAN 7 years ago

Well i can say i am so tired of child support..... he is paying 130 every paycheck .. well he only gets payed.. 260.. you can see were the problem starts .. we have a son who lives with us.. and to be honest... some days i wonder how we make it... he was Starving before we got together he didn't have enough money for the bills and food... .. no ONE CAN LIVE ON 130 a week... we won't get married cause i don't want to pay the back childsupport from when he was looking for a job last year.....

note: his ex wife is a manger at a restraunt and has remarried and moved to another we don't even see the little boy

tony 7 years ago

megan. i am in the same situation kind of. I was making about 700 a week when my wife decided she was tired of being married (due to bills accumulating and me not taking her out often because we had a little boy to raise now) and she moved out, within a month had a guy living with her, now they have a house together. Well my dealership closed down (good ol GM) and i took the only job i was able to find which only pays me 260 a week before taxes. CS takes 55% of my check, leaving me with 95-103 dollars a week to live on. She is a para-legal, makes about 700 a week, her boyfriend makes close to 1800 a week. my rent is a mere 370 a month, and that's for a trailer, which is even more than i can afford. so the math = 103 a week max, $412 a month. - 370 for rent, that's $42 a month i have to get groceries, gas, and pay my vehicle payment (used and cheap but not enough cash to buy reliable transportation), electric (averages 90 month) .. im already in debt almost 350 a month now, and that's just basic living expenses. If i lose the roof over my head, and my vehicle, i obviously cant work, so they will throw me in jail for failing to pay, and that is where i will be spending most of the next 15 years i guess. My child was no mistake, I loved my wife and planned to be together, she walked out on me, because new guy made more money and could take her out and give her nice things. Yet I am about to lose everything because of her decision. I have been told by 2 attorneys there is nothing i can do because the state is only taking the minimum 55%. it is what it is.

David 7 years ago

In my case, my wife cheated and was physically abusive. She listed herself as single on and went out on dates. She did this blatantly in front of our two kids. She also suffered from depression and bi-polar disorder and was on SSD. She is also the daugher of a very well off family and never worked with me to live within a budget or within our means. Instead, her idea of working together was picking up the phone to call Mommy and Daddy for more money. It was disgusting to me and I endured 12 years for the sake of the kids, and because I believed in the vows we took and chalked off her behavior as part of her mental illness. Unfortunately, I had to draw the line when she started going outside of the marriage to meet up with strange men. It hurts me terribly to see what this has done to my children, but I have no choice. Divorce is now pending and the support costs are clearly skewed to favor the mother. I have no issue with paying. My problem is that the mother will not properly care for the kids. My kids have missed over 22 days of school while on her watch and the state of New York does not consider that academic neglect because neither of my kids are failing. This ordeal has cost me my family and my home and now half of my salary as a result of support plus extras. The most telling part here is that the support provided is not audited to make sure that the mothers are properly appropriating the funds. My ex will be sure to use it to go out and get more tattoos and the kids will go without healthy meals and be allowed to stay up until all hours of the night. CPS finds nothing wrong with her behavior. Her lawyer is the same lawyer used by Mia Farrow, paid for by her very wealthy family. I accept that I have to endure some difficult times and I intend on getting through this part of my life with my head held high and my heart strong. I have faith in a higher power and I am certain that this path is necessary despite the hardship. In the long run, it will make me stronger. In the short term, it is frustrating to make a good living and have to give half of it away to somebody that is clearly going to be wasteful and immature. I fear for my kids well being. I am trying to be the most attentive, loving, and nurturing father that I can be, but it is difficult when the mother refuses to act like a parent and is more interested in acting like a friend to the children. I am doing what I can, but it is eating me alive to watch my children be destroyed by a woman who refuses to acknowledge the damage she has done and continues to do. I feel powerless and broken inside, like an empty abyss that has had the life sucked out.

Leo 7 years ago

To all you women who are saying child support is fair. How about this?:

We have count ordered Joint custody. That is a 50/50 split of time. She chose not to work when we were together and still chooses not to work now that she is "on her own". Because she chooses not to work, I have to pay her child support. Keep in mind, I have my child as much as she does. That means, I feed, clothe, bath, and take care of the baby as much as she does. It's a 50/50 split, but somehow the court has decided that a woman can not take care of herself, but the man can. In fact the man can take care of himself, his half of the child, his ex and her half of the child. How is that fair? I would gladly ditch the 50/50 if I could get full custody. I want my child. Oh but even if I had full custody, I'd still have to pay her child support. Again, HOW IS THAT FAIR?

ArmySsgt 7 years ago

You know what I find amusing? All over the internet there are these same kinds of postings.....women complaining that men don't pay enough in child support, or the more liberal ones telling men to just shut up because the woman is the one having to raise the child and men only have to send checks. And on the men's side you have complaining about the absurd amount that is forced upon them to cough up each month, and there are the men who have the child, and then complain about the mother not sending in the payment. But of course you also have the women who appear to be understanding of the men who have to pay the insane amount of child support forced upon them. And you also have men who complain that the women that they are with aren't getting any child support from the father of the kids. And so on and so forth...back and forth it goes.....

The truth is simply this....if you do have children, then you should support them. But have we all forgotten that support from a parent doesn't only com in the form of money? Obviously the courts have. And many of you parents clamoring for more money from the other parent that you don't truly need ought to be a crime. That's right I said it. Male or female. Mother or Father. If you are laying on your butt all day long and the only thing that you do all week that could even pass for work is getting off your sofa and walking over to the mailbox to look for your check that the other PARENT worked so hard for then you should be arrested and thrown in jail the same as a parent who didn't pay their child support would. Because in my "parents" are the ones that are committing the crime here. Who are you to be complaining about anything? When is the last time that you FINANCIALLY supported anything or anyone....or even yourself? (Now keep in mind that I'm not talking about everyone, but if you think that I might be to you, then I probably am.)

The thing is this.....people only agree with the child support laws if they are the ones that are receiving it. In the same turn most of the people that you hear complaining about it are the ones that have to pay it or they are in a relationship with someone that does. Men always complain doesn't even come close to the truth. Yes there are things that are wrong with the system, but until they change (if ever) we are all stuck with our butts out in the wind. And we are going to be divided into 2 columns......those that are getting shafted and those that aren't. But realize before you open your mouths that people are getting shafted on both sides of the field. Those that pay are typically (not always) forced to pay much more than really is necessary if the other parent is working too. And on the other side we have those that aren't getting paid what they really DO need to support their children. This is why we have such a problem. There isn't a "one size fits all" solution to this thing. Just try to make the best of what you have. I know that it sucks at times on both sides, and I realize that it can be hard. But honestly.....what can we do?

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Pachuca213 7 years ago

maybe in Washington its that way but in CA they are only allowed to take up to 40%. But they are money hungry and look for any way to tax you. They also like to charge a month ahead so it always says you have one month of arrears, so it always looks like you are behind one month. I have been dealing with San Diego Child Support for the last 7 years because of my hubbys older kids...SD-DCSS is a pain in the butt!!!

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KCC Big Country 7 years ago from Central Texas

The Texas Family Code contains guidelines for the computation of child support. The guidelines are specifically designed to apply to situations in which the obligor's monthly net resources are $7,500.00 or less. In such cases, the court presumptively applies the following schedule: 1 child is 20% of Obligor's Net Resources, 2 childrend is 25% of Obligor's Net Resources, 3 children is 30% of Obligor's Net Resources, 4 children is 35% of Obligor's Net Resources, 5 children is 40% of Obligor's Net Resources, and 6 or more is Not less than 40%

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Pachuca213 7 years ago

yeah most of them are up to but no more than 40%.....

nicky 7 years ago

I'm seriously considering filing a child support order on my ex for our daughter. She has always been with me and while he has made some contributions I've always done more for her. He is always coming up with a reason why he can't even come up with half and I end up paying my half plus his and all the additional expenses for caring for our daughter. He has been fixing his credit and is paying his girlfriend half her rent and is allowing a huge allowance for his future car, and the first place he deducts financially is from his little girl.

When I was making more I paid more, and now I'm unemployed but still expected to pay half. How is this fair. And he says if I take him to court that I'm doing it for selfish reasons. Someone please let me know, am I being selfish for not wanting to struggle while he does everything he needs to do for himself and his new situation?

anna 7 years ago

my husbands ex lost her job and is not looking for a job until after the court date she set for more child support.but she already gets 50% of his pay check and he also has my child. florida state says,thay cant take more than 50%.she has turned his kids against him, and she wants there stepdad to adopt them,but still wants child support.not the smartest person out there.

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gmajlo 7 years ago

until you have a male that you care about that is ripped off by the putrid child support systems of this country, most women will think that the men that complain are deadbeats. I have a son who has been financially raped by his devious ex who he got pregnant after being told she was infertile, then she broke up with him and finally left MA for FL - land of the baby-mama's if you ask me. Big money there, collecting support and laughing your way to the bank. It's disgusting - I just finished putting my son thru college and she has RUINED his life and financially drained our family. The baby is precious, the support is outrageous, and mediation is a total JOKE. I'm sure there are deadbeats out there, but my son isn't one of them yet he is being punished by an insanely tilted system that just rips men off time and again. No wonder there ARE deadbeats. If the terms of support were reasonable, less men would be apt to avoid paying.

Despratelylossingason 7 years ago

I have to agree with the above I am currently in college and I work as much as I can but I have only just broke 3,100 dollars this year net. no this is not a mistype three thousand dollars from jan to end of aug. my man supports our family for the most part but he only makes about 800 dollars a month. after bills there isn't much left but he is supposed to be responsible for insurance and 325 dollars a month in cs. While I DO believe he is responsible for his first son we have a child to worry about as well. When this cs order was issued he was making closer to 1200 dollars a month and we hadn't had our son yet but since the crisis in the job market his company has down sized and he has gotten behind. well our county has a three month law where if you can't make a payment in three months they set criminal charges. 1 he never received the subpoena 2 in order to get health insurance SHE has to set it up and then send the bill to us which she has not done but complains about constantly. 3 he is looking at 9 months over this and that is just too much by the time he gets out he will be so far behind we can never catch up, he will have to find a new job and then every three months they will throw him in jail again until he is a felon for cs. the system is broken!!! they told him his only other option was to pay nearly 500 dollars a month until he caught up. now do the math about 400 from me plus 800 from him minus 500 FOR her. now try to survive off 700 dollars a month!! after rent gas elec phone and car gas money what is left plus we need diapers and all sorts of stuff. She makes over 2000 by herself a month!!!! plus she has her man and HIS EX WIFE living with her the ex baby sits for free and her man works for the same company as she does. they have a house we have a one bedroom duplex. how is this system fair? so we get to live in poverty forever just because he had a previous relationship? he is talking about leaving so that he secretly send me money from elsewhere in this country or another, but then i will lose my step son SHE would NEVER let me just me see him. And i love him!! like my own!! but i have no rights to him... not legally. he calls me mommy, i taught him to count his colors his abcs manners how to talk how is the system fair when it can rip more families apart and leave us to starve?!!?! When we decided to have our son we were in a much better situation, i did not enter the subject lightly but things change and sometimes not for the better. if anyone knows of a way to help someone will cs payments or something that might help our family please e-mail me at

michelle 7 years ago

My boyfriend and I live in TX with our daughter, while his ex-wife and his older two kids live in NC, where the child support order is. He got caught up with the taxes when they took money and gave it to her, and since has had 450 taken out of his check automatically every month since it got raised at the beginning of the year. Then I get a letter in the mail saying that he is 1700 dollars behind, and they are planning to intercept this. How is that possible if the money is being taken out of his check before he even gets it? If anyone has any thoughts please let me know.

a father 7 years ago

In New York if the parent required to pay child support makes less than $12,500 per year their required payment is only $50.00 per month (even with 3 kids). If you are in that situation then I would look into having your support changed by the court, provided you don't have a salary history which exceeds that amount of income. They will challenge you with previous earning potentials.

I hope this helps someone.

Linda 7 years ago

My son pays child support every week of $85.00 for his daughter pays health insurance for her and also helps pays some of her other bills the mother is complaining that she does not get enough money and she lets bills go into collection instead of asking him for help she lets him see her when she wants or is convinient she already took one of his days away from him, so here we have a father that's wants to help and she still complains and is threating to take him to court where is the justice for the fathers who do want to help and want to spend more time with there child and the mother won't let him. I think that is wrong and something should be done about the mother.

a pissed father 7 years ago

The laws are all for the women. Right now I have no clue to where my son is. I pay child support every two weeks. I'm trying to live on 596 every two weeks. You don't even want to know how much my rent is. Not even my lights or gas. I keep getting letters stating that the mother has custody. No now its the grandmother has costudy. No now the mother has him. Oops the grandmother has him. This is bull. I pay all this money and I can't even see my son. Mom and grandma are bouncing back and forth with my son because state assistance runs out after a certain time. But mom can't get out the and get a job. Not even go to school and get an education. Nobody askes me if I want my son. They don't want me to have him. Childsupport is a joke. Before child support there should always be a paternity test as well as a custody case. If I go to court I won't get my son. Why you ask. Because how can I keep a roof over my head let alone another head. But mommy to lazy to go get a job.

confused and angry 7 years ago

i will admit that i wasn't a very good dad when i was younger. i'm different now and my daughter lives with me and my new family, yet i still have to pay child support. i can't get it stopped unless i get a lawyer and my last paycheck was $13 because they took out $169 for support. someone please explain how this is fair or how anyone is supposed to live off $13, let alone hire an attourney. the child support system is so one sided that some men have no choice but to not pay. i'm paying, but should i have to sacrifice my family for it?

JP 7 years ago

Ok, the problem is that if you are the bread winner you must support two families after a divorce, that is the problem. I am currently in court fighting the amount they say I must pay every month. Right now they want $2,050 a month (almimony and child support) but I can only afford around $650 a month and I will not accure thousands in back support collecting 10% interest so hopefully the judge will help us soon.

My wife has some serious issues and she just took the kids one day and left. She doesn't do drugs or drink or abuse the kids, but she is emotionally a wreck and depressed a lot but the state wont consider that. So now I have to be homeless, depressed and forever under threat from child social services. I am an honest hardworking man, I have a college degree and I now know why many men just flee. Guilty or not, the system is broken, attorneys are expensive, and no relief in sight.

I agree that we should all support our kids, but it should be fair and a mutual thing. Luckily the judge ordered my wife, soon to be ex since she took me to court, to get a job. Once she gets a job the child support will start to decrease. Hopefully she gets a good job and then child support will be dropped to just a few hundred dollars.

I actually want my kids but I am having a hard time with that in the courts. Well, enough rambling, hang in there to all those who have to pay child support - because the system isn't fair. I mean 10% interest, wall street just tries to hit 7-8% year over year in the long run and here the government charges us 10% because we don't have the means to pay? shouldn't it be like 5% or whatever government bonds are paying?

jay 7 years ago

I'm a mother of an almost 4yr old. His father and I were married for over 3 and a half years when we decided to split up. We got married young, and weren't ready for everything that was going to happen to us. He is a navy reservist, and also has a regular full time job. We are no longer living together, I moved back home with my parents, he moved in with a few friends. A family friend is a divorce attorney and is helping us go about getting our divorce. He was told that he was to pay $117.50 a week. He makes a little over $500 a week, after taxes. And also gets a paycheck from the navy for $350 for his reserve weekend. That means he's making $2350 a month. I work part-time, but I'm working 7 days a week. I'm lucky if I get 28hrs a week, and I only make $8/hr.

He offered to pay for the car payment and insurance of a vehicle we got when we were together. It is my main mode of transportation but it is in his name. I appreciate very much that he's trying to help me by paying for the car payment and insurance, but I can't help but wonder if he's doing it because it will look good on his credit, when it's paid off and keeping two cars on his insurance will keep his payments low every month considering he has tickets and accidents under his belt and I do not.

Point being, really, is that he hasn't giving me a single dollar since Christmas. That was over a month ago. I know things have been tough for him, I truly understand that but he doesn't see his son as often as he should. He owes me upwards of $700, almost $800. And when I tried to say something to him about it earlier this week, he told me I would get money when he caught up on his bills. He hasn't even given me $5 to get a gallon of milk. I have my own rent to pay and bills. I don't know what to do.

He's not a bad guy, he's not screwing with me. I'm not the one who's hurting because of this. His son is, because I can't provide him with everything that he needs to survive.

What am I supposed to do?

Vicki B.  7 years ago

I'm sick and tired of fathers complaining about 50% of their checks being taken to help raise their children. How much of the mothers income do you think it takes to raise the kids? Probably the whole thing. She does without so that her kids can have everything they need. They grow so fast out of every article of clothing they have. She wears the same 5 outfits she has everyday. If she isn't making enough money she will go get a 2nd job and sell thing or pawn things; whatever it takes to make ends meet. While the men are just complaining. Did you ever stop to think how much cheaper her life would be if she lived alone. She could have a small apartment instead of extra rooms for the kids. She could ride the bus or walk everywhere instead of pay for the expenses of owning a car. (With car seats and stollers taking up all the room). She could eat ramen for lunch everyday instead of nothing. But of course she put out healthy lunches for her kids. She could maybe get some shoes that don't hurt her feet instead of paying for little tommy's braces. Grow up you babies that complain about it and get a 2nd job if you are not making ends meet. Provide for you kids. Oh and one more thing, if you think that your support order is two high go see the judge to get it changed. It will take some work and some research but its really not that hard. They only make you pay what is right. Some of you that do have to pay 65% got behind and you are paying extra each month to catch up. The judge does not order the payment to be half....Hello?

Damion 7 years ago

Here's my imput on this topic. we both men and females are wrong. women cannot understand it coming from the male point of view. All they see is just a man complaining and being selfish what about me, what about me. lol. well ever wonder why females rarely complain. well what do they have to complain about? i mean 99.9 times courts order men to pay child support. ok. she's happy. hey its even sweeter when there is some argument between the man and the woman. money in her pockets. (take care of the child right)? lol. you as the female can always get another boyfriend. guess what he helps out too. wow how much money do you really need. wait that's not even the best part. women say when we men have it easy not having to go through the trouble of raising their children and women are stuck taking them to school daycare, feeding, changing clothes whatever you may think. Now really all the feeding and clothing and whatever else i just said how hard is that. i mean the man basicly paid for all the clothes and the daycare, the medical or whatever. While YOU women sit back and make all the memories with that kid. yeah sure soome times its tiresome but mostly enjoyable. you get to see tha first smile, you get to see the first step. what do we men get oh pay you child support or you're going to jail. and you women don't think we have anything to complain about. child support is cruel and injust. lol not to mention, why when tax season comes around the women gets first dibs on it. oh we men didn't put any money towards raising the kid right. why do you think they're so many cases when a guy says he wants nothing to do with the baby and you women say im getting u for child support, why do you think they turn around and try to get some kind of custody, lol think about it. anyway i can go on and on about this. sorry this was so long. but after reading how selfish you woman get with your argument i just had to put in my few lines.

aggrevated gf 7 years ago

My fiancé and his ex-wife got divorced abot 4 years ago. Due to her cheating (and she married the man she cheated with). They have 2 children together. While they were married she worked and made REALLY good money. And their seperation papers state that he would consume ALL marital debt in lieu of child support. Unfortunately, he was unaware that regardless she could still come back for support. Her current husband makes enough money to where she doestn' have to work. So, her "potential income" is minimum wage, while he works on commission. He make gross $800 or $200 a week. And that b&%$* was awarded $446/month. I know that some men pay more but he brought home a pay check one week for $38.75 ...COME ON! Seriously! How does anyone live off of that! And unfortunately she is money hungry and I don't believe she is spending the money on the children. Oh, did I mention that he has joint custody? Yep, has them the same amount of time she does! He has to suppor them when they are with him, correct? AGH!

willie 7 years ago

If you win 50% custody I guess you pay no child support because you'll have the child with you two weeks of the month.

ltlata2de 7 years ago

First of all a lot of emails state that its not fair that you have a child-separate in one form or another and then you do such a smart thing you have a child again???!!! If you can't afford to take care of the first one why are you having another? BIRTH CONTROL PEOPLE! Children are not cheap regardless how you have them. Its funny how all of the complainers continue to have more children.

jaws978 6 years ago

Just wanna say if a politically savvy guy started a men's rights group like the NRA except for child support and custody issues I would join, pay dues, and vote for any candidate they support rep, dem or other

ravee 6 years ago

Oh! God! I am sick of this python comments on CS. I understand the agony of divorce in your country. I am from India and we have a single digit divorce rate and generally people are happy with lot of adjustment they need to make to live together. But Children cements the relationship. Fidelity, trust compassion and adjustment why we have long forgotten??!!

frustrated wife 6 years ago

I can certainly see the issue from both sides. AFter college I lived with my best friend that had a descent paying job but still had a hard time making end meet with her baby. She wasn't getting child support from the father in another state. I've seen how frustrating it can be. Even a couple hundred dollars a month to buy diapers would have been a huge help.

I am now married to a man that has 3 children with his previous wife. We have two ourselves. You say you shouldn't have kids if you can't pay for the ones you've got. Well, I didn't have children and desperately wanted them. He wanted me so he agreed and we are blessed with our two children. His ex, however, keeps coming after us for more money. I don't know how much money she thinks he makes but I ASSURE you it's not what she's trying to get. Right now he is paying 65% of his paycheck in child support and only brings home $500 a month. I work too, but I don't make what he does. Our combined paychecks don't even pay our bills. It barely covers diapers for two, formula for a baby, and food for the 2 year old. I haven't even mentioned the new clothes I have to buy every 3 months! When we had our children he wasn't paying near this much in child support, but because she is money hungry here we go in court again over her trying to squeeze every last drop out of him. BEtween work, home, and church who has time for a 2nd job???? Maybe if he was a single guy, but he has 2 sons at home that need their father - sons that he is actually allowed to be a part of their lives.

When do MY children get the support they need? I don't have an ex to bleed money from.

Nicole 6 years ago

I'm getting a divorce I was married for 20 years I've never worked a day in my life didn't go to high school I have no income my ex always workedI have two kids one who is 9 who im trying to get back I when to court for temp suuport since im just about broke then he filed for child suuport the judge ruled in his favorite I have to pay him child suuport i'm so upset I dunno what to do how can a judge do that??? I don't have a job I have nothing

what can I do??

John 6 years ago

I too pay child support. It is based on a government calculation - this is what you earn... this is what you pay. My ex has the kids. They go to Eurpoe for a birthday, have travelled extensively mall over the US and she has redone her entire home, new car, dance lessons, karate lessons, music lessons, and more. She earns as much as I do, her home is completely paid off, and she works only 10 months a year. I am re-married with a 4 year old. I have lived in my car twice, can't afford to even have cable t.v. Thank god for channel 13 or my little one would have nothing to watch, barely cover my rent payment, can't afford daycare, my present wife hasn't worked in 3 years because of this, and to top it off, child support keeps erring in claiming non receipt of payments (they are wage garnished and never missed) and I keep having judgments, liens and tax offsets against me for alleged arrears I do not owe. I work 50 to 70 hours a week to be able to make my bills while my ex is living like a millionairess. So yeah, men who pay child support do complain. Wouldn't you? Oh, and by the way. I haven't seen my kikds in 5 years because I can't afford to. Fair to them? fair to me? Fair to my 4 year old? The only person it's fair to is my ex wife living the good ;life off my suffering.

bethany 6 years ago

seriously reading this made me beyond angry. i understand some fathers do have the right to complain because it can be stressful and hard at times BUT my daughters father was making 900 a month and i was awarded 216 not even 45% of his income, and he recently had another child with his girlfriend and then he decided QUIT his job and file for a reduction, i thought there was no way hed get it BUT i guess in the county of luzerne in the state of PA they grant this, so now he pay a total of 165 monthly.. and at the rate my daughter grows that will barely cover for clothes and shoes, i have until the 16th to appeal this decision but am not sure if i should i mean he was already awarded what he asked for. i just think its unfair because he was not fired or laid off he quit and he told them he quit so now im practically responsible to pay for everything our 2 1/2 yr daughter needs which is fine i will manage, but you fathers need to understand that men like him who seriously barely pay for there children have no right to complain (which he does a lot of) i don't think i should get half of his check no i don't want that but like i said he was making 900 i should be entitled to a 3rd = 300 leaving him with 600, i believe that would have been fair but now my child has no cartoons to watch for lack of cable has hand me down clothes and shoes for lack of being able to afford them. im am a 20yr old single mother do you know how much car insurance is just so i can get her to and from the drs? try 111.00 a month! so to you fathers who pay to much i feel sorry but to the lucky ones who pay barely anything think about your child!

Mary 6 years ago

Can anyone help me solve this question? My ex gives me a personal check (sometimes late) for child support. Now, I have made suggestions that he have the money pulled out of his check each month so that he doesn't have to remember to give them to me. He refuses and insists on writing me a personal check. Can someone please tell me why? It doesn't make sense and I think he is hiding something. What do you all think? Thanks.

Girlfriend 6 years ago

If i get married to a man that owes child support can she get half my paycheck because he's not working because he moved up here to be with me and our son.




Learn2GetAlong 6 years ago

It takes more to raise a child than money. It takes a family.

I think our government and many parents have forgotten this. Children need stability, love, support, and much, much, more.

To the government, our children are $$$, an asset and a budget number (education & sometimes assistance). They just want to reduce the expense and maximize the asset. They don't care about people or your child's feelings. If they did, child support enforcement would work to keep families in contact, rather than apart.

I am a mother of four children and it has taken my children's father, grandparents, and aunts & uncles to raise them. No, not financially. There are invaluable things that a child can learn from the love of an entire family that do not require money.

I feel for the many children in our country who are deprived of knowing an entire side of themselves, "the non-custodial parent" and/or their family. Maybe they're not the best parent in the world. Maybe you think you could pick a better one. But, I assure you that the one your child will want to know most, is the one you cared for enough to make them.

For all of those parents who would love for their child to have that opportunity but cannot. I feel for you. There are many reasons why a child would be without his father or mother and every one of them is heartbreaking for the child, with the exception of the abusive parent.

You may think your child doesn't care. I assure you they either do now or will in the future.

I wish more parents would work together to raise their children. This does not require living with someone you can't stand. It only requires patience and understanding for the sake of your child to atleast try to communicate.

People are more important than money and money will not fix every woe.

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ca_tiara1 6 years ago

I have a little assessment to write about child support. My personal situation was that my ex was abusive, neglectful, and an adulterer. What’s sad about that is that I still would have stayed with him because I loved him and still do. I thought he had changed when I became pregnant. In fact, I was sure that he now had the motivation to stay home at night and love me and his child, and for a while he did. And for even longer I was naïve enough to believe he did. 4 months later I saw he was receiving texts form women stating that he was great last night. (When I thought he was at work) So, I asked him upfront about it and told him I would go to counseling and quit my job to stay home full time and make the relationship work. He told me he thought it best we go our separate ways. So, I moved from NY to TX, but before I left I filed for child support. He now pays child support of $1700 per month. I am fortunate and do believe that our son deserves the money. Truthfully, if I ever found out he made more money; I would apply for more child support. WHY? Because our son deserves to live the same lifestyle that he would have if we were together. If he chooses to start another relationship (which he has) then there budget should only be his paycheck excluding child support. Child Support is not an optional or negotiable expense. Our son should not be effected at all by any change in his situation (kids, wife, otherwise). WHY? Because I never asked to be divorced and more importantly my child never asked for that either.

Furthermore, I question why any woman or man would knowingly get into a relationship with a someone that pays so much child support that she or he “cant afford to live comfortably”. Do you think they will be able to take care of you or the children you want to have if they can’t live well on their own? Even crazier, is that after you get into this relationship with your eyes wide open, you complain about finances and how the system is flawed or broken. Truthfully, we need to change the way we think about these things rather than getting mad about it and complaining. When you set your expectations low you almost always end up with what you expected!!!

fathers have rights to  6 years ago

my husbends ex has takin the kids and will not tell us where they are we pay child surport and we used to send stuff to them but they would never get it. but now we have just found out that her mom is going after us for child surpost to ??? can they do that.... my husbend has jumped up and down saying to the world he is here and wants to be in their live . and everyone says go get a lawyer but we are tapped out broke!!!!and we don't live in the same state as the kids. we just don't know what to now we pay 2000.00 a month cant talk to the kids are see them. plus she is on housing to she is living good. i wish lawyers don't cost an arm and a leg!!!

Just me 6 years ago

I think the child support system is a bunch of crap. I have a daughter whose father does pay child support. He is ordered to 197.00 monthly.. His annual income is 52,000. I have even had it looked at again. He has no other children. My husband pays support on his daughter in the amount of 650.00 monthly, his annual income is 43,000. Almost, 10,000 lower. Is there something wrong with this picture? I think so. Second, we have no problem paying child support, however this is a little extreme. Third, if the support was used to support the child and not the mother. His daughter id dressed like a bum while the mother dress in ALL named brand clothing gets her hair done and nails. People seem to knock the men. Seriously half of the women use the support to make themselfes look good and go out and party.. It is all sad sad sad... I am alright with what I receive for my daughter. Yes, the amount is real low.. However, every dime goes in to a ccount for her. I see it as her money. Why don't some of these women get off there ass and get jobs..

CAROL 6 years ago

when i felt my husband i supported my own kids. i see how child support is so wrong in so many ways. my son was living with this lazy good for nothing girl for 10 years has 3 boys, let him meet someone eles moved him into my son's home now wants child support. i agree a father should pay for his children BUT a mother has to support her children just as much as a father. i'm told if you are on welfare that you have to try and get a job, well that's the way it should be for whoever is getting cs.don't just let them sit on their f.a. and collect, make them help support the kids and if they can't the other parent should be awared the children

Unknown 6 years ago

Maybe you women need to stop having kids with men that don't want to take care of their children. You shouldn't sit around and rely on a man to pay child support and you shouldn't have kids if you alone will not be able to take care of them.

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safe-at-last 6 years ago from Western Australia

Not all welfare payments are about letting a mother "sit on her fat a#$%!"

Family Assistance payments are in fact paid to all parents (or grand parents or foster carers etc...) who have dependent children LIVING with them.

The payments are made to singles AND couples who have kids living with them. The payments are to help parents meet the costs of things like rent/ schooling, telephone, medicine, clothes etc... The payments also help WORKING parents meet the costs of day care and such.

Family Assistance is a completely SEPARATE payment to the Single Parent Payment which is an income support payment for unemployed single parents or those only able to work part time.

Many women DO have jobs, but perhaps some are unable to due to having very young children, or perhaps they are studying, or perhaps they can only work part time due to needing to fit in with school hours etc...

Single Parent Payments are calculated on an individuals income and have NOTHING to do with how much they receive in child support.

Family Assistance payments however, are based on a family's income and so can be affected by any payments received as child support from the other parent.

The fact is that the CSA calculates how much a parent should pay based on their income because if the children were living with that parent they would benefit from that income. Why should they not benefit from the money just because they do not live with the parent. They are still that parent's kids aren't they?

To make your money available to your child ONLY if they live with you is just another method of control! It's like cutting off your child's nose to spite their face! Child support is just another way in which perpetrators of abuse continue to control their victims.

In Australia, where child support payments contribute to a family's income total income, their Family Assistance payments are calculated according to how much a parent is SUPPOSED to receive in child support payments from the other parent.

After an assessment, FA payments are reduced accordingly, whether or not the parent actually receives the amount of money they are supposed to from the paying parent.

If a parent tells Social Security that they are not receiving any child support, or receiving a different amount than they are supposed to, SS will only adjust family payments accordingly IF the person asks CSA to collect.

Of course CSA then hounds the (non)paying parent for money, fueling their anger and giving them further justification for revenge (irrational I know, but we ARE talking about sociopaths here).

While I'm all for making people live up to their responsibilities, there is a bigger picture to consider. That picture is the safety of our children.

I was in such a position and my kids were then subject to even more emotional abuse at their fathers hands every time they saw him, because he would go on and on about the injustice of it and tell them they had to tell me to "back off".

I witnessed the same thing being done to his other kids from a previous marriage for years. He would even say things like "I should have shot your mother years ago" (WTF who says things like that?). It was heart breaking to watch.

Luckily for me though I had a great social worker who really knew her stuff, and she told me to ring SS and ask them for "an exemption from being required to collect due to domestic violence".

I did so, and an appointment was made for me to meet with a social worker at SS. I was told that I "would only have ONE HOUR" in which to convince this person that there was a need for an exemption, and therefore to make sure I had some notes about the relevant abuse that I could refer to so that I did not run out of time. LOL I was granted the exemption after about one and a half minutes of reading from my notes!

Anyway, I advise any mothers who are in a similar situation to apply for this exemption. It's sad when an abusive parent uses child support to alienate their kids from the responsible parent. Kids are too young to understand the subtleties of such things and for heavens sake, THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO!

If your ex is using their misdirected sense of injustice at how much they have to pay you in child support to justify their continued emotional abuse of you and your kids, you can take that power away from them. Yes it will be harder financially, but money doesn't buy happiness.

The only power they have is that which you give them, or allow them to take. I say take back some of the power they took from you, and render them forever powerless against you. Only then will you be able to take responsibility for your own happiness, and become the author of your own destiny.

alfredo 6 years ago

my ex-wife gave me a court with the judge of child support my son is 6 years old. I make $ 800 a month and my boss pays me cash. I live in Arkansas. I have a daughter she is 1 year old is with my current wife, and my wife does not work. I'm giving my ex-wife $ 200 monthly, $ 50 a week, I fall behind on $ 100 and she is angry. my ex wife does not work and has 2 more children but have a husband. I can do about it? ... what papers I have to show the judge? or that happen? sorry for my English

Sad Dad 6 years ago

I am a single dad of two boys,and I work a full time job in Florida.I never wanted to be divorced, but my ex-wife left me while I was in the army.During my time away in the service, she used my credit cards to buy all new furniture for the house, and moved out of the house right before i

I was discharged.My pay was direct deposited in our joint account here in Florida,and I would rarely spend any money because the Army took care of all of my living expenses.I now have a cust service job earning about 280.00 week, and I am ordered to pay 140.00 week.After taxes,I take home about 115.00week.Now I live with my dad at 43 years old,and I can't afford to support myself!Meanwhile, my ex makes 16.00 an hour,and her grandmother passed away while I was in the service,and left her the house that is all paid for.She also just bought a new truck,and my kids both have cell phones at 12 and 8 years old!In Florida you have to be able to prove the mother unfit to be able to get custody, so really I had no say in the matter!If I can't afford to live, I will not be able to keep my job,and then I won't be able to pay any cs at all.I also have my kids every weekend and that costs me usually another 30 dollars a week!The worst part is that she told me if I wanted to stay with her,she wanted to have another baby!So we had our second son and then I left for the Army.Also, I would love to have my boys at home with me to feed them, bathe them and get them off to school!!The state of Florida won't give me that option!!Where's the justice here?I mean really?

pissed off at exwife 6 years ago

My life has been living hell husbands with ex-wife!!!!she has been Living on welfare while collecting $2000 from my husband and $1200 from renters (home bought by husband)has not worked for 3 years living on unemployment, food stamps med-cal totally loser, guess who is after us???? child support services.I was a single parent who worked my ass off for my kids and did not need help from anybody.GET A FUCKING JOB!!!!! and help support your own kids you loser welfare mothers.

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OntariFamilyLawCa 6 years ago from No America

How would you feel if you were owed the money. The law wanst them former spouse to pay support. Anyone on welfare must coopreate to get child support. SOme states keep that support payment to pay back the welfare. One does not get welfare if she has that income and is verifiabkle. Does she have a disablity? That would qualify her medicaid and still allow her to collect support form the spouse. Why do so many woman marry a guy who owes money then gripes?

I do not get that.

lee 6 years ago

Well I dissagree with the amount of child support. My husband has had custody of his daughter her whole life and now she is 15 and wants to stay with her mom and all her mom has payed in child support was 100.00 dollars a month. Now that she has manipulated her daughter in staying with her she wants to quit her job and get custody of her daughter and make my husband pay her child support. which will be 20% of his pay. I that happens we will loose our home. We have 4 other children and a morgadge. 20% of his pay will be 1350.00 out of his check. That is our morgadge right there. We will have to sale our home and move to the bad part of town and raise our kids in fear they might get into drugs or something worse. It's not fair because the court does not calculate bills morgadge or other children living in the home that have to completely change their way of living so the other parent can quit their job and live off the child support. Not fair.

Women abuse the system 6 years ago

Part of the problem is a lot of states' Child Services get their budgets/federal allocations based on how much they collect!!! That right there is a conflict of interest. Where the system is more unfair is that in some states, i.e NY state, in addition to the monthly deductions, the non-custodial parent is responsible for a precentage of child care and medical expenses. In my case, I make substentially more than my son's mother, so I am responsible for 89% of all other outstanding expenses. What she does (to screw with me since there is no other logical explanation) is to take him to doctors and dentists that won't take my insurance, that way whatever I am not already giving her, will go towards that. And since I don't have custody, I don't have a say on any of these decisions.

So in addition to the 17% I give her, I end up paying an additional 15-20% of my salary in other expenses every month. Not only that, I incur even more expenses when I try and go visit him (hotels and what not; he lives 6 hours away and his mother would not even bring him halfway to ease the drive/expenses for me).

How fair is it, that this one child is getting more than 35% of my income (the govt gets the other 33%) while me, my wife and my children from my current marriage (two adults and two other children) have to live on the other 30%?

I love my child very much, but since I feel i did not have a say on him being born (she said she was on the pill when he was conceived; she tried to force me to marry her basically) she should be responsible for a lot more than what I should be forced to pay. The phrase "My body, My choice" should be "My body, My choise, My financial responsibility should I choose to bring that life to the world".

Women want to be equal to men, we should have a choice too!

frastruated 6 years ago

to all the DEADBEAT mothers out there that live solely on child support.GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND HELP SUPPORT THE CHILD YOU GAVE BIRTH TOO!!!! The child support laws need to be changed,the working parent should have the child so the child does not grow up thinking getting a check in the mail,low income housing,and food stamps are the way of life..WAKE UP AMERICA!!!! its a shame a woman can take a man to court (for free via DHR ) but what about the father,he has to hire a lawyer with what's left over from his pay. The system is messed up.It should be equal from both parents or the working parent gets the child..Its not all the mans responsibility to solely support the child remember ladies it took TWO to make that baby and it should take TWO to support that child plan and simply..GET OFF YOUR LAZY BUTT AND GO TO WORK!!!!!!!And yes I'm a mother of two and divorced and i worked to support my children as well as the father..I hope some law makes see this and make some much needed changes..

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safe-at-last 6 years ago from Western Australia

To frustrated deadbeat - Not all welfare payments are about letting a mother "sit on her fat a#$%!"

Family Assistance payments are in fact paid to all parents (or grand parents or foster carers etc...) who have dependent children LIVING with them.

The payments are made to singles AND couples who have kids living with them. The payments are to help parents meet the costs of things like rent/ schooling, telephone, medicine, clothes etc... The payments also help WORKING parents meet the costs of day care and such.

Family Assistance is a completely SEPARATE payment to the Single Parent Payment which is an income support payment for unemployed single parents or those only able to work part time.

Many women DO have jobs, but perhaps some are unable to due to having very young children, or perhaps they are studying, or perhaps they can only work part time due to needing to fit in with school hours etc...

Single Parent Payments are calculated on an individuals income and have NOTHING to do with how much they receive in child support.

Family Assistance payments however, are based on a family's income and so can be affected by any payments received as child support from the other parent.

The fact is that the CSA calculates how much a parent should pay based on their income because if the children were living with that parent they would benefit from that income. Why should they not benefit from the money just because they do not live with the parent. They are still that parent's kids aren't they?

To make your money available to your child ONLY if they live with you is just another method of control! It's like cutting off your child's nose to spite their face! Child support is just another way in which perpetrators of abuse continue to control their victims.

In Australia, where child support payments contribute to a family's income total income, their Family Assistance payments are calculated according to how much a parent is SUPPOSED to receive in child support payments from the other parent.

After an assessment, FA payments are reduced accordingly, whether or not the parent actually receives the amount of money they are supposed to from the paying parent.

If a parent tells Social Security that they are not receiving any child support, or receiving a different amount than they are supposed to, SS will only adjust family payments accordingly IF the person asks CSA to collect.

Of course CSA then hounds the (non)paying parent for money, fueling their anger and giving them further justification for revenge (irrational I know, but we ARE talking about sociopaths here).

While I'm all for making people live up to their responsibilities, there is a bigger picture to consider. That picture is the safety of our children.

I was in such a position and my kids were then subject to even more emotional abuse at their fathers hands every time they saw him, because he would go on and on about the injustice of it and tell them they had to tell me to "back off".

I witnessed the same thing being done to his other kids from a previous marriage for years. He would even say things like "I should have shot your mother years ago" (WTF who says things like that?). It was heart breaking to watch.

Luckily for me though I had a great social worker who really knew her stuff, and she told me to ring SS and ask them for "an exemption from being required to collect due to domestic violence".

I did so, and an appointment was made for me to meet with a social worker at SS. I was told that I "would only have ONE HOUR" in which to convince this person that there was a need for an exemption, and therefore to make sure I had some notes about the relevant abuse that I could refer to so that I did not run out of time. LOL I was granted the exemption after about one and a half minutes of reading from my notes!

Anyway, I advise any mothers who are in a similar situation to apply for this exemption. It's sad when an abusive parent uses child support to alienate their kids from the responsible parent. Kids are too young to understand the subtleties of such things and for heavens sake, THEY SHOULD NOT HAVE TO!

If your ex is using their misdirected sense of injustice at how much they have to pay you in child support to justify their continued emotional abuse of you and your kids, you can take that power away from them. Yes it will be harder financially, but money doesn't buy happiness.

The only power they have is that which you give them, or allow them to take. I say take back some of the power they took from you, and render them forever powerless against you. Only then will you be able to take responsibility for your own happiness, and become the author of your own destiny.

frustrated 6 years ago

i understand some times people(men and women)are in need of assistance,its great that its out there but it should be for a very limited time not years and years.There is a lot of people taking advantage of the system. I know someone who pays 646.00 a month in child support(1 child).This is the only amount that household(2 adults 1child)lives on.They receive low income housing and food stamps and lord knows what else.Every time the child needs(school supplys,school fees,clothes,ect)something,the mother ,who has not worked in 3 years,ask the father.So would that mean the child is supported by the father only.Now where is the mothers responsibility to this child?This mother worked during their very short marriage but soon after she no longer works,she told the father he would pay for leaving them.So now who is being fair to the child the father who pays every month plus other financially things the child needs,or the deadbeat mother that has not worked in 3 years to support herself or her child but lives solely on 646.00 the father pays for the child.Now she can run up to dhr and take him to court because she longer wants to work(remember she is making him pay for leaving)and she pays for nothing.therefore the father is stuck with the court bills.Now the father has tryed to make some changes(through dhr )and they would not help him for free.And yes he has talked to a lawyer which is very costly but was told the courts side with the mothers.So now who is to blame for this child living poor? Now think about it if the deadbeat lazy mother would work plus she receives 646.00 in support,how much better would the child be..I know there is plenty others out there just like her.Oh but she is "making him pay".Looks like we are all paying for her and others to live like this.Oh yeah and the courts offered to send her to school to better herself and the child and she refused.Is this the American dream?Oh yeah she has two vehicles for transportation.He has One.LAW MAKERS WAKE UP AND MAKE SOME MUCH NEEDED CHANGES,DON'T MAKE IT SO EASY FOR THESE FREELOADERS

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steven313 6 years ago


My issue has nothing to do with the amount of money I am supposed to pay my ex-wife. I do no wish to get into a debate over whether or not I want to support my children. Of course I do! I would also like for them to visit their dad in something other than a cardboard box.

I have continued to pay $820 per month in child support. I did NOT request this figure be lowered when I was laid off from my teaching job a year ago. In December of 2009, my ex and I decided to have the money taken from my unemployment. Somehow $400 per two weeks has been taken (which amounts to $866.66 per month) since the end of January, which is fine. What is UNACCEPTABLE is that $1,738 was taken from my tax return which I hoped to use to keep my car. Said car was reposessed today at 3am. ADDITIONALLY, 48% (501.39 in the past month alone) has been taken from my Walmart paychecks. So I work 60 hours and clear $200. I quit that job today so that the appropriate amount of support is paid. My ex didn't blame me, BTW.

Bottom line: Child support is calculated based on income of both parties. The figure was $820/month BEFORE I lost my teaching job. When I had the job, I cleared $3,600 per month. I did not remember paying $1,800 per month in child support.

Please let me know what I am missing here.

Mandy 6 years ago

OK so I am probably an exception to all the women who are money hungry. The only thing i have to say about child support is you helped have that kid you want custody then take care of them, The father has to feed, clothe, bathe, and put a roof over their heads when the children are with them, so why should the father have to pay for that and then pay the mother for something she wanted in the first place by asking for custody. And then after its deducted what are they sup post to live off of. seriously how can most women with the exception of me see that as being right. people need to remember that they are your children to so get off of your butt and get a job and pay for them. You wanted custody now take care of them and stop complaining about how the dad doesn't do this or that. because at one time he was the only support you had and it was OK then.

Ben 6 years ago

I have to say that in my cause it almost half of what I make and I am paying the bills from when we were married on top of that. TO add to it we are still married and she want even let me see my kids because I am gay. Sorry women I know there is some debeat dads out there but there are mothers who are just as bad. My ex told me she dosent want to raise our kids she is just doing bc she has to when I want them I would do anything for them. Its not right what she is doing and I have no one on my side no one to help me...when it comes to this stuff women get it all :(:(. PS I am a daycare teacher and have worked with kids for 8 years.

JJ 6 years ago

My husband has 2 children from a previous marriage & I am disgusted with the constant fights over child support. I have heard it a million times how much the kids cost but whenever she asked if we can care for the kids beyond our regular time, 2 or 3 extra days, she NEVER gives a money. My solution is that she is required to pay us on the allocated days & we pay on her days. If she goes to the courts asking for more money then she has to increase what she pays us...that would make everyone think twice. I think court would also see a lot less cases showing up in the courtroom. Let's face is NOT 1950. Woman work also & they are equally responsible for 1/2 of the cost of raising those children. So when the court says pay 500.00 then that should be only 1/2 of the cost. I don't any child that cost that much money unless they are spoiled rotten & that's a WHOLE different problem pointing to parent and not the child.

jay 6 years ago

Im a woman who receives zero cs but remarried a man who pays good money for his kid. Let me correct that: to his ex-wife because she does not take care of the kid. This is for everyone. (1)New wives-i know you feel like you are second to another woman because most guys are paying more than what is needed to raise a child(think about in the day when a parent didn't have much to begin with and made just) (2)Non-custodial parent-i know you have a life and probably a new family that you need to support just as well as your child(hell, you still need loving too so if you are a good man with a good woman, you must take care of her just as well as you took care of the ex and still is)(3)custodial parent-i know you have the kids and must feed, bath,run errands, education expenses and most of all a break from the kids(only if you are a good parent that spend time along with the money with and on the child or kids)(4) the state and it law-well let just say how messed up this world is(but keep in mind, you can be heard because the law is law and i am a living witness with how the judges makes mistakes and bad decisions)If this happen go back to court with proper documents. The system is designed for dummies. Meaning if you go along with the court decision and don't say anything(even though you have all the correct documents that can prove otherwise, then they won-YOU gave up and said, I have no say so.A smart man will take every avenue to be heard because he has a lot to say and support. With all said and to keep it clean but R-A-W judges are human and makes bad decisions all the time and i think they should be held responsible for letting bad things go on in the court room because it is the judges fault who give the final say so. I am a living witness when it come to judges and the mistakes they make. I use to work in the court house and it is unbelievable how some of the judges don't have a clue on what is going on when they make their decision. I have witness judges asking other judges to make a decision because they didn't know the law, but it was only after the court session was over. I think people should learn to appeal and take the next step when it comes to living healthy. Yes healthy because this situation leads to stress and death just because most of these womens out here are liers,vindictive,jealous individuals with nothing to do but collect money because they are to lazy to take their tier asses to work. Yes, Im a woman, believe me the ex might get 20% of his net but i get 80% because i control what come into my household. Just letting you girl know that im not just saying this because i don't get cs from my kids father and my new husband is paying, but to let you girls know(you know who you are-because if you are a good woman and mean well, you are feeling what im saying)as a woman i deal with people everyday that just try to make the man life hell all because of the new wife or girlfriend. Mens step up and be what you say you are because a judge is a judge doing a duty, he should not be able to bring you down if what you are saying is true because black and white documents are the best in any courtroom. Remember mens the system is for dummies that's why the ex's stay in court so much because they fit in just fine. I am a true believer that the child is also mines and i want the best for my child so i don't have time to keep going into the dummies system only to be controlled by a dummy because my time is precious and i prefer to give my time to my child and not the system. Guys keep your head up and learn to appreciate the gals who respect you and work with you and start leaving these dirty as low down girls alone that only have kids by a man who has a good job. Stop letting the smooth taste fool you because girls are more cleaver when it comes to money.

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bonniepeterson 6 years ago

honestly, Child support has always been a heavily debated topic. one thing we have to keep in mind is that regardless when the children do not receive what they need from both parents they are the ones who are made to suffer. (no I do not get child support for mine) For me its safer that i don't. When I would go through the legal system it was saying its okay to allow you to do what ever you want to us and the ignorance of the system allowed it. he does not visit by his choice, does not pay child support but realistically he has done us a favor. There has been no bad behaviors to deal with from the X husband to deal with kids feelings hurt and asking for weeks mommy but why does he do that. Me explaining I really don't know why and We can only control our actions. Its sad that some parents pay mortgage payments for child supports and cos of the ignorance of the system other parents are allowed to abuse there families and get away with not paying or the other partner saying for safety reasons its just not worth it. In an ideal/realistic world the other parent would be an adult and take care of there responsibilities and do the right thing.


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bonniepeterson 6 years ago

I guess for me my opinion is this. Parenting and then the money issue is two different topics. My feelings on this is we need to keep it straight. Both parents helped make the baby so when ever it is possible both parents should raise and spend time with the child(ren). be greatful that she is coming to your husband and asking vs the poor kids who get bounced around all the time and do not learn any stability. There is always a positive and a negative in every situation in life. being a parent is not a scheduled time like a 9 to 5 job your a parent from the time you wake up until the time your head hits the pillow and then for a life time.

Yes I can see that it can be stressful dealing with the situation but we don't put time limits on when our children need us no matter what. Society and parenting has really changed over the years with some mixed ways of handling things. May be judges need to take the position that both of the adults who brought this human life into the world be responsible for there actions and say hey you don't its okay because vs the tax payers paying the price/cost you will. I truly understand for what ever reason the parents who can not care for there kids and want to due to medical reasons just can't. Then I feel for the parents who do care for there kids cause those are the ones who take the rap for the one's who just don't care and are being selfish.


Joy 6 years ago

As we are all complaining about money and getting it or not getting it ponder this.....Everybody pays for my husbands ex-girlfriend....She gets her Disability check, then a disability check for her 3 kids, child support checks from 2 of her children's fathers, and she also gets an adoption stipend for adopting her sister's son, who she lives with! I'm proud to be a tax payer because now I can pay for my husband's ex 5 times a month!!!!

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wilmabanks 6 years ago

Since the advent of birth control, let's be honest ladies, we have a right to choose. I actually think a woman should be responsible for the life/lives she brings into the world. If there is a man willing to help out, wow great, but really it wasn't his CHOICE to have a child, Admit it, it was yours..

Prior to 1970, women, would have a very good point in saying a man is half responsible but now that birth control, morning after pill etc is readily available, to even the most destitute.. that argument has lost its teeth. I can't wait for the day the legal system catches up to the reality and women have to take responsibility for their actions.

david 6 years ago

yes i am paying support have been for years. i do not get to see my kids even with a court order i go to court and its all in favor of her she doesn't work she has lived off of the welfare system for over 20 years so she knows how to manipulate the system. now my daughter 18 years old with a child tried to get herself some welfare and cant because her wonderful mother told the welfare that her daughter did not graduate that she was still in school just so she ccan collect money for another year and i have a 16 year old son as well and she has damaged these kids so bad but i am to blame for it all. its a battle to see my kids. like the laws need to change from these evil hateful bitter ass mothers who get no where in life who are lazy and mooch the system.

Brandee Hunnicutt 6 years ago

All I want to know is why Im only getting 56 dollars a month from my sons father and hes A MP in the army.

JUDY 6 years ago

Will my husband works 40 hours a week and only makes 8.60 an hour. And they are taking out 65% of his check for child support plus he is told he has to put his kids on his insurance.It won't do any good to talk to anyone because they don't care as long as the woman are getting their money.He is working a second job but its only part time.And i am working also part time with what he brings home from his first job and second job and what i make we will not be able to pay our bills or buy food. But its ok for his x to get over 700 a month from us plus i am sure she is getting a welfare check and food stamps because she doesn't work. And the kids ages are 13 and 17 so there is no reason why she can't work.And someone made the comment that the men had them they need to help raise them but what about the woman. There is no way we can live off 35.00 a week.I am sure we will wind up on the street before it over. All they want is for the men to work themselves to death and when that happens who are they going to go after for child support. A lot of woman out there know how to work the system and they have a problem with their x's so they don't want to see him have a good life. If the mothers can't take care of the kids give them to the father.

Ann - Family Law Advisor 6 years ago

I do believe the law should be much more accommodating with regards to monetary aid. I have witnessed lots of people suffering from the financial devastation and they just are unable to give what they used to provide their kids. As long as you can justify in court that you are attempting to give as much as you are able to for your kids then that should be enough.

madeline 6 years ago

This site is one horror story after another here is mine. My husband who is ready to retire from usmc in a few months has an ex wife two children. When they got a devoice she was making 1500. monthly, took all their savings out of the account ( 40,000). She then took him to court and he was ordered to pay 800.00 Monthly for child support and 400 alimoney. Now that he is getting out he will have about 1200. a month retiremnet with no job prospects on the horzion. She makes at least 1800. monthly from her job alone, but still has to pay 800 for child support....half of his retirment goes to her. which will be about 600.... she gets his spb and he has been order to take out insurance on himself for the children. that he has to pay for...we are already over the amount he will get. We are going to lose our house and his truck... With no place to live and no way to get to and from work (if he finds a job).I belive in paying child support but I think the regulations on how much people have to pay are one sided. If he gets a job then she will also be entitled to some of that for child support. We need to get togeather and fight this in the courts. I am going to talk to my congressmen. Maybe if enough of us start complaing about it to the politians we can get things changed. lol Yeah is a nice thought...I need to wake up from that dream now.

For the People 6 years ago

It's Cheaper to Keep Her

greedy 6 years ago

im am so reading all the fathers rambling on and on about how the women get all the money well i have two kids and make a higher income than my ex. every time i seem to take him back to court and try and get some finacial help from him they raise it 5 dollars. i get barely 80.00 a week. The court does take into consideration both incomes you have to look at the guidelines for your state. most states if you make less than 20,000 a year it wont count for the custodial parent if you make more than that they subtract that 20000 then they also subtract daycare costs. but if your in a higher income bracket. like me, well then your screwed and stuck taking care of all the bills, daycare , healthcare, school,clothing, food, and anything else the children need, because they don't care as long as someone is taking care of the kids. Guess what alls i want from the ex is a 100.00 dollars a week, and that he see his kids on a weekly basis that's it. and im a greedy b****....

frustrated 6 years ago

my husband has to pay money to his ex. for child support. I would not mind so much if his ex. was the one that had the kids. i love having the kid at the house, but it is hard to have 414.00 taken out of his check and still have to take care of the kids on what is left.

frustrated 6 years ago

that is another thing we pay her money and when to kids are with her and they come back they come in clothes that are to small or they they have holes in them. i thought that is what the child support was for. getting what the kids need

Rick 6 years ago

A lot of false information here. Each state takes out a certain percentage. Ohio is 13%, N.Y. is like 17% and so on.

The 50 % is the (maximum) they can take out of someones check. Usually due to someone being behind in their payments. It will go down once they they are caught up. The non custodial needs to keep current with their assigned case worker. Don't forget that health Ins. for the child is separate but then added to the support payment! It is to risky for anyone to get married now or have a child unless you have a high paying job. Period! What parents should teach their child is can you afford to live on your own then have 15% or more taken from your check at any time?

John singe 6 years ago

What The Fuuuuuu,that cant be right? If i have to give 50% of my check to child support then i guess i will live in my car forever. Or maybe i will ask the judge how the hell am i going to pay for my living expenses. We need to put this to an end guys, today's woman make good money. I will file for 50% custody F her......

Fabio 6 years ago

You know its fine to pay child support for those parents who leave and don't want anything to do with their kids, that being the dad as well as a mother.HERE IS SOMETHING THAT PISSES ME THE F...OFF WHY SHOULD I PAY SO MUCH WHEN SHE CHEATS ON ME AND LIVING WITH THAT GUY WHILE HE DOESN'T WORK BUT EATS OFF MY HARD EARNED MONEY WHICH WOULD BE MY SONS MONEY AT THAT POINT.

dgil 6 years ago

I don't understand why some men are complaining about 50% of their income when 100% the custodial parents goes toward rent, utilities, daycare clothes, and anything else that they may need.Men complain about paying the money but they were happy to have sex nd make a baby. They are just as responsible. Just b/c a man has another child and another family why should my children suffer it was his choice to have more children when he knew that he couldn't afford to take on that responsibility and why are these women complaining when they knew what they were getting themselves into when they married and had children when it all boils down to it its all about money from both ends!!!Some of these married women tht marry men on CS are not working but have the nerve to tell the ex to get ofr their ass..they need to do the same to take care of their children..hey if my child gets 50% tht leave your child 50%.

cbrad 6 years ago

To any and everyone treated unfairly by the system, trust in God, stay faithful, and just do the best you can. Nothing lasts forever. I know life is hard right now, but our kids are not going to understand why we can't afford to see them at times. Prayer is what it takes, maybe not to change the amount of cs you have to pay, maybe to help get through the whole situation a little easier. Ours kids will be grown before we know it. I have complained a lot and it fuels my anger but does nothing else for me. Men let's raise our sons and daughters not to make decisions that would be life altering until they are surly ready. After the love is gone and two parents separate, alot of the time everything else involved becomes a business. Be Blessed everyone.

Scotty 6 years ago

I have some great advise for all of you and all of your kids. Do not get married and don't have kids. I was married for 10 years. She was a lair, a cheat and in the end when the money ran out she got ugly. I regret this whole part of my life. I love my son but wish I never met her . I gave her half of everything I had when we were divorced and had to pay 17% of my income at the time which was $750 a month. I was in he mortgage industry for 20 years and when it failed lost everything. In 2008 I lost my income for a year. I continued to pay the $750 on savings and selling my possessions because I wanted to support my son. I got another job and it was $1,800 a month. I still paid $750 a month non court ordered. So for 22 months I made $12,000 and paid $11,000 in support. I went through all my savings an sold what I could to keep paying - non court ordered. Now the money is gone. I can not find employment. I am going back to school at 45 years old to start another career. She took the money for the past two years knowing I could file a modification at anytime. We had a verbal. I tried to work it out without the courts but she would not compromise on what she thinks she is owed. So my court date is in the end of this month. I still have no job and no money. My family and current girlfriend are supporting me while in these hard times. I do not know what to expect. I can not afford an attorney and the state will not appoint one for me. I might go to jail because of a mortgage meltdown? I will never have a chance to get a decent life if I have to pay 50% of what ever I make. I am a great dad. I call him every night and have him every other weekend. We have a great relationship. I am not a dead beat dad just caught in this slow economy and a dislocated worker to boot. I say this to all that read it tell everyone you know, tell your kids, DO NOT GET MARRIED, DO NOT HAVE KIDS. I regret my life now and it all seems hopeless. I have thoughts of death and feel the court system will be blind to the true situation. I regret my choices even though I did the right thing.

goofygalno1 6 years ago

My ex is the typical loser dad. I know not all men out there are, but i can surely say he is. He cheated on me during our marriage, had another kid which he gave the rights up so he wouldn't have to pay support on that one. Then when we finally separated for the last time in April of last year he leaves a job where he was makin good money just so he wouldn't have to pay as much support. Makes me sick when men think oh I can just get a lower paying job til the support is in place then go off and get a higher paying one. Bunch of BS I think. He only sees his son every other week, will barely even call and when he's asked to pay the proper amount he says he's barely gettin by. Seems to me when you have an apt where all bills are paid you shouldn't have to worry much. Guess that's the price you pay for marrying a deadbeat loser of a man. If I woulda only went with my gut I wouldn't be where I am at today!!

Outraged... 6 years ago

For those of you who think all men are deadbeat dads, shame on you. I have a husband who paid child support even more than he had to when he his wife divorced him after he wouldn't agree on a marriage of convenience so she can be with her lover and still benefit from a wonderful man who is my husband now.

She retaliated b/c he would not agree and threatened her husband then that if he tries to get any custody for his kids that she will take her kids back to her country so he can never see them.

Finally, after I urged him years ago to fight for his rights and explained to him that if he doesn't have any rights to his kids then the law will not be able to help him in case his exwife will be capable of leaving the country with their kids. And she is very much capable.

Weeks before the court date his exwife was suppose to show up to court she went away to her country with my husband's kids w/o telling my husband who only learned from the same sister of his exwife who told my husband that her sister, his wife was having an affair. She did come back to the states a few days before the court date. Her intentions were obvious,she wanted to give my husband a scare. This is how malicious this woman is. The only reason she didn't stay in her country is b/c she knew she wouldn't be able to get the money.

The day my husband went to court to get rights to see his kids, his exwife LIED and said he hasn't paid a penny of child support for their kids.

Ignorant of her to think he would not hold on to all the checks proving her wrong. Then to show more of her colors, she told the judge that she would allow the father of her children to see them, ONLY if he pays more.

Thankfully, the judge put this woman in her place. She said, your exhusband is too nice to ask to put the mother of his children to jail but she will not hesitate to put her in jail if she ever comes again to court and lie like she did.

The judge reminded her that there are so many men out there who do not pay child support and here is a man is paying more than he has to w/o being forced.

So now here we go again, years afterwards, her kids are now 18 and 19 years of age, and she is asking for more than the COLA mandated. Can you believe that this time she went into court but got a different judge who refused to see my husband's overwhelming proof of our hardship. We barely are making ends meet.

The judge temporarily granted $500 more a month to this greedy, malicious woman until December when this woman can prove she needs this money.

Meanwhile, we will be evicted by the end of the year. Food money and shelter money for my kids who are 17 and one is a 3 year old are going to be taken from them for this lying woman who bought a house 3 years after divorcing my husband.

From her own kid's mouths they told my husband that she used all the child support for mortgage and is having trouble to pay for her house that we can't even afford to own ourselves to own, we can only rent.(that's another story, my husband's checks were garnished to pay for a $5000 phone bill from phone calls made from his exwife to her lover when they were married. but it was under my husband's name. You have to love it. He just finished paying for it after almost 2 years)

Tell me what justice is there when a judge ignores evidence of hardship and mandates more money to pay that we don't have and will take away from our innocent kids and give to a woman w/o any proof and who had lied in the past & uses her kids who are 18 and 19, to get more.

I have faith in God that the wrong that was made will be corrected. But we must wait until December and tried to find a attorney who can represent us and hope that the judge can listen and be fair.

Unfortunately what killed us was the Over time that we prayed for came in the summer for 2 months, and it made it appeared that my husband is capable of making this amount all the time. now my husband can't even accept the rare Overtime he gets so we can catch up with major bills that we collected ever since his accident that kept him out of work for a month and a half. I just can't understand this.

If her kids were little and they really needed more of it I can understand. I am a exwife who has an exhusband who remarried, has a 4 year old from his exgirlfriend and 2 little ones from his wife now. And no matter what he did, I cannot ask for more then what he can afford b/c I know that it will affect his little ones that are innocent.

I just learned Judges are not mandated to look at hardship from the non custodial parents have. This is an outrage b/c they should be made to look at all evidence from both sides and be fair to both families, especially when little ones are involved. If the judges decision to keep the $500 more a month does not change it will have us evicted b/c a mother who is greedy and bought a house beyond her means and wants my husband to pay for her mortgage. She will not stop until she gets the last drop, so to speak from my husband.

While her other son with another man gives $100 a month for child support and she still lives with a man who doesn't have a job for the last 10 years!!!!

So please do not think that ALL men are dogs. We can't judge them all the same. Some women can be equally bad as well and even more some times.

The law needs to start making laws that prevents greedy men and women from abusing the law that should be protecting our children.


My boyfriend might have to start paying CS, now if and when she does take him to court, she isn't not currently working but lives with her boyfriend. Are they actually going to let her get away with writing down 0.00 on her income? Shouldn't she have to put down her boyfriend's income as well??


I wrote earlier under "outraged". All I hear is get an attorney. But if you are left with nothing, you can't afford a decent attorney let alone an attorney who has to look at his books to know the law.


That's 90 PERCENT they are about to take out at the end of the month off of my husband's check!

No KIDDING!! Thankfully I did a lot of research for my husband, including reading the above article that states they can't take out more than 65 percent.

but it does not tell you how to stop them if this happens to you. I had to make numerous of phone calls to find out that my husband's employer has the right to make sure that they do not take out more than what the law permits.

However, many employers do NOT know how to figure out the numbers. So now we are waiting for Child Support to call my husbands's employer to show them how before they take out this OUTRAGEOUS amount.

Laughable if it wasn't so SAD b/c I have a 3 year old little girl that I can't imagined being forced to live in a shelter b/c of an unfair and irresponsible decision from a judge who did not have any proof from his exwife and refuse to see the solid proof my husband had.

but in the meantime, we are being mailed a form so he can submit our proof of hardship.

I also went to oue local Social Services dept to find out if we can qualify for temporary help until December but was denied.

Even though my husband would be left with $100 for the month to support our family. LOL...Because his salary is higher than the cap of $34,000 for a family of 4, they can't help us. They do not TAKE THE DIFFERENCE OF THE CHILD SUPPORT MONEY BEING TAKEN OUT that will more than qualify us to get help.

Not even a shelter will help us. For crying out loud, something needs to be done.

One court clerk had the ignorance to tell me that she doesn't understand why people worry so much. That in a couple months when we bring the proof it will be corrected. LOL.....That's if you have a savings account that will hold you until your court date. Which we DO NOT!! We live paycheck by paycheck. We don't have nothing left over to put in a savings account!!!

Even more, when we asked the free 30 minute attorney if they will return the money that they took from us when we prove he does not make that crazy amount of money, that was a rare overtime that we pray for to catch up on our overwhelming bills when my husband got hurt.

The attorney tells us he believes that it's hard to get back & he doubts we will get that back, so she gets to keep it too for her 18 and 19 year old sons and my 3 year old gets no home, no christmas, no food money!!!!

But a judge is allowed to do this everyday to innocent parents, parents who are honest and good. I hope I helped someone who is in the same position as us. If they are taking out more than what the law allows, you don't have to wait until your new court date for this!!!

If anyone knows what else we can do, aside from hiring an attorney we can't afford, please let us know.

If I find out more I will make sure and post to help others.

Ron Miller 6 years ago

My ex wife ordered to pay 286.00. She hasn't paid hardly anything. She is more than 5,000.00 behind. I am out of the kindness of my heart transporting kids to and from her house, whereever she decides to live this month, so that they get to see their mother. Court papers say she is to pick up and drop off at my place. I was told she would have a warrant issued for non-payment on Nov. 1st. Now the procecutor says we will wait to see if she makes payment by Nov. 28th because he doesn't want her to lose her job by going to jail. She is taking advantage of me and her own children. I just think had she been a man,They would have not thought twice about arresting her.Before I got custody I was arrsted, licence taken. The procecutor acted as if I was the bad guy,when I called to ask why they weren't doing something? He was very rude to me, and defended her??????

Carlos Ruiz 6 years ago

I believed in the a father taking responsibility for the life living in this world but I also believe that if life take a turn for the worst then consideration should be taken! I have a son I love with all my heart and I have faithfully paid support for 14 years. But it happen and I am unemployed ! Now everything I receive from unemployment is not what I made while working so they won't reduce the amount and I am about to be homeless! They take all of my unemployment I don't know what to do!

Chris 6 years ago

Interesting how it's the fathers and/or the new girlfriends & wives of the fathers who have to pay child support that have huge problems with this subject. It's so sad that providing a fraction of stability for your children has to be regulated because if it were up to you.... well, read some of these comments & you'll see how it would be if it were up to the non-custodial parent. And regardless of what non-custodial fathers might think, no one is living high on the hog with your $300-$500 a month.

Hendrik 6 years ago

kind fortunate the x don't take me back to court ,good thing just took a 4 dallor an hour pay cut back to the trailor park lol ,only 6 more years to go ,One thing you have to consider They cant take away the fact that that was your taxed income that you paid out so you get the last laugh when its time to draw social security if the x kicks back and collects and don't work they will be standing in your shoes and have to live on nothing.

Becky 6 years ago

I agree 50% of a mans pay, WAY TO MUCH! That is very not true. We live in Illinois, I was always told it was 20% which is still way to much. Get a job and help provide. I can't wait till my husband's children are 18!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hendrik 6 years ago

Well my bitch with the system is ,They don't stop when you get down to bare bones living wage, Ive become quite cofortable living with my situation.Living on ramon noodles treet meat what ever I can scare up , find myself more and more distent from society, health declining cant go to the doctor,high blood pressure, will be better when im dead ,then it will go up with the ssi payment . for me? burlap bag.

Brandy Lee Thomas TEXAS 6 years ago

Okay my father did drugs with me from 5 yrs old and on he was locked away from when i was 8 - 13 upon his release he began doing drugs with me as well my first childs father was also a drug dealer i left him my other 2 children have a dad that beat the crap out of me and also did cocaine and i did it with him i was age 22 with 3 children when i found the courage to put him in jail and leave then i began using meth as a functioning addict it got out of control because i did not want to work and was taking advantage of all and every who helped me mother called cps she took the oldest child the other 2 went with the other grandma (who lived with her mom as well) the dad to the youngest 2 children was incarcerated for revoking the probation he was put on for beating me up...(he failed a UA for cocaine) upon his release he was allowed to see the children i sobered up june 8. 2005 when they took them ....cps lied everyday and said i was not doing the things i needed to do and would not tell me what i needed to do i was confused and coming off an 18 month drug binge and could not see what i needed to get straight in order to get them back....i never hurt or mistreated them i spent a lot of time pawning them off on grandmas so i could spend my weekends getting high, i am sure that hurt them but i couldn't see evrything was all messed up he was getting out of jail and was able to go live at the house they were in with his mom and gma and i wasn't even allowed per cs to speak to them mind u i had not for 4 months given them a dirty drug test ever it was my rude awakening to have them taken...when i wasn't getting anywhere i relapsed and when i did i di it with a guy who was a heroin and crack addict i still stuck to doing only meth but still bad enough!! i gave 4 or 5 dirty drug tests missed a court appearance and then committed forgery i had to go to prison for 18 months and et a lot of therapy and rehab and i learned my lesson got out went to a halfway house and cleaned my life up the last time i got high was april 10, 2006 i was able to get only the one child back from my moother oldest son who is now 11 and i am married and have a baby boy and a new baby on the way and then im done but this is my secodn life and i am stressed because from the beginning my child support was set at over 50 percent of my income it is only supposed to be 50 % if u r behind i cant afford an attorney and get this my visits are still court ordered supervision but in 2 separate orders so i am supposed to go with my mom to austin because we live in houston to pick up only my youngest daughter and the other is only to be seen at kid exchange with police or security present....he knows i wont split them up they have been thru enough and my middle daughter loves her grandma and would want to go with her he has a new girlfriend who my daughters say has a temper and she has struck and forced the youngest into a corner i have called ol faithful cps they r not listening nor do they care now we recently went to court in may of this yr and due to the fact that i am "behind" they set my payments at 700 a month or 50% of my income now they r not even trying to hear me about any kind of visitation...they want money and they want it all and they don't care of the children i have when i got pregnant with the first baby my husband and i are having my payments weren't like this it was normal and accruing then i got put on "probation" so to speak and am ordered to pay like i said however my payments from the beginnign were 600 a month so how is this fair all it did was go up 700 a month and they are onesided they don't even know that this motherfucker they r fightinf for beat me up and put a cigarette out my face for not agreeing to have a 3-some with him and my coked up best friend .... he has stolen my money and used it for a call girl to our house in our house with me and the children fast asleep ... he has broken my tailbone not once but twice..... he has struck my lil boy when he was younger he has held the kids hostage after pushing me down the steps and locking the door i broke a window to get in and save them and runaway for good now if i can stop doing meth and change my life maybe he did too but why is he getting all this praise for being this wonderful come forth father when really he only stopped using recntly and just moved out of his mommys house a year ago.....he makes more money than we do and his girlfriend who he just had a baby with "spends all my money on the ew baby" so my daughters tell me they now have to share a room so the new baby who haas more clothes than they do put together can have her own room....i have to go to court next week i am 7 months pregnant and have a felony on my record remember that whole part of the story and i have beat the pavement of the road and still cant even get a job at mcdonalds either they arent hiring they don't want a pregnant chick or they do not read my application because i put the felony down when i am applying for a good job so as not to mess it up but i have done both lied and told the truth and right now it is getting me nowhere my oldest son that i got back has a dad in federal prison sicne july 11 2005 he gets out in january....i promised that little boy iwould not go back to jail again and here 8 days before xmas i have court again and have missed 2 payments i have done without used all resources pawned things until i feel like a freakin addict again but hey we do what we have to i read all these comments before i typed and i want to say may peace and god be with the ones whose hearts are true there will be relief someday I will pray for all of us and AS FOR THE ONES WHO GET ONHERE JUST TO JUDGE AND INTERRUPT OUR SESSIONS PLEASE KEEP YOUR MOUTHS SHUT IF YOU ARE TIRED OF HEARING WHAT WE HAVE TO SAY DO READ WHAT WE ARE TYPING YOU HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT THIS FORUM IS NOT FOR YOU TO GET ON HERE AND DECIDE HOW THESES DISCUSSIONS FOR OUR SANITY TAKE PLACE NOW WE KNOW WE ARE NOT HTE ONLY ONE OF OUR KIND BUT AS FOR YOUR KIND I PRAY YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE OF YOUR KIND !!!!!!!!

hendrik 6 years ago

Hey imon a roll this week got 38 bucks till next week ,Think i need cat food ,lol Merry cristmas nothing left to get the daughter anything.

Mg 6 years ago

Well I don't understand why they calculate the amount from your gross pay? I don't get my gross pay! What's the point of that. I have been ordered to pay 35 per net of my salary. Will I feel this is high as my wife is earning the same, why am I not allowed to claim my child as a dependent? Why am I not able to claim back the daycare costs or the child tax credit? This is worth thousands on top!

I always see my son and it is stupid to just look at a persons salary and say this is how much you will pay. How stupid is that. And to say that you want the same lifestyle for the child....give me a break. The money that was in one household is no supporting two. Plus remember that the none custodial has to pay for a roof over the Childs head when they stay!!

I don't mind paying for my child, but when it is more than I used to pay when I had him it makes no sense. The system is flawed and I will be going down as if I get another job to try and pay the 35 percent my ex can take me to court and get more money.

I either will go to jail or flee the country as I simply cannot make the payments as I just cannot afford rent or my car payment which I need to make as I will lose my job.

It's really messed up and I can see no logic in it when I am doing everything right. Even when I lost my job I still paid 400 month because you can only go so low, but I also feel they can go too high for no reason.

If it is based on the child then maybe actually do something incredible and work out the expenses and not base it on the non custodial parent.

Lisa 6 years ago

They need to change the child support system for fathers.This is the reason why women do not have to work. The mother should not get 50% fo the father income. The child does not have to pay bills at home and at the end of the day if there was no child the mother would still have pay for rent food and ext.... If the father had to pay 30 % then that would be reasonable. You fathers out there with these crazy women holding this over your heand need to get together and have this law change. I am a women myself and I do not belive in 50% child support. :|

charles 6 years ago

Laws are still set up as if we are in the 60's. Woman are not stay at home moms anymore, but the CS system still makes it that way. I was working a $20/hr job paying over a $1000 a month for child support for 3 three kids. I had no problem paying it. I lost my job now I am making $12.50 at this other job and I went to court and the CS people left my payments the same. I make a $1000 evey two weeks and I pay $538 for child support every two weeks so who out there think child support cant take more than %50 of ur income. I don't bring enough money home to get a lawyer and to be back and forth in and out of court. One of my baby mommas don't work and the other makes way more than I do. The government gives a woman everything a child needs but leaves the man out in the cold straggling trying to find a way to make ends meet. What is a man to do when his back is against the wall cause CS is taking everything from him. Wonder why so many men give up on working and go and sell drugs.

Amy 6 years ago

Ok, so my boyfriend has a child with his crazy ex.(they had split up when she was 3 months old, and we got together when she was 6 months old.) Well, when the child was 8 months old, we started keeping her most of the time, because the ex wanted to go party. Well, we needed her to help out, so we went to go file child support against her, and they told us we'd have to have signed papers from the court "proving" that we had custody. We had never been to court with her, and don't have the money to go to court over custody. When the child was 14 months old, she went and filed child support papers against my boyfriend. How she did that with no signed document from the court, i have no idea!!

Exposed 6 years ago

The system is flawed. I am a police officer and absolutley have no issue paying my fair share. I do however have an issue with how fathers are treated like dirt in the eyes of the court and the ex wives who watch too much Opra on TV. I am a great father who pays and gets his daughters every other weekend. My complaint is the fact that I pay a ridiculous amount of child support based on what I actually have to live on. Meanwhile, my ex-wife and her new boyfriend live in the home with all of the furnishings that I paid for, drive the vehicle that I paid for ect. I should not be teating like a dregg in society because my wife and I could not get along. I realize that there are a ton of dead beat dads out there, but contrary to the drum that many woman like to beat. There are a lot of fathers that do right by there children and make a huge sacrafice to do so. I don't have the option of waking up one morning and deciding that I want to be a career girl and then the next week decide I want to have children and stay at home. I will always be deemed just a working wallet. Fellas, I don't think I have to tell you how much of your hard earned dollars are being spent. It sure ain't on the kids. It's amazing while I eat PB&J's to get bye. My ex-wife has been to Disney twice in the 4 years since we have been divorced. Nails and Hair are always done. Where is the sacrafice on that end. I suppose its all about finding some other sucker to pay the other half of her bills. If ur a half way good looking woman in this word you have it made. You will always be able to find some dude to prop your ass up. Then you can tell anyone who will listen how hard you worked to get there.

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ashby930 6 years ago

LIAR! We pay more than 30% and that is the most of any state I know (South Carolina). For all you women begging for money and have a sob story, go cry somewhere else. My husband and I pay more than 30% of his take home pay for two children that we NEVER get to see (if we are lucky, twice a year). We have two children together that we sometimes have a hard time supporting since we pay the mother's bills of these children! She lives off food stamps, government housing, is still in school (6+ years, she keep getting loans), and has mommmy and daddy pay her cell and car payment, and she told my in-laws that they also pay for all the kids clothes. Is it fair that we struggle working and can't afford to have more kids as a result? 50% of a paycheck is not only morally corrupt, but it is also illegal. If you have to pay that much, you better get yourself a laywer that is actually on your side. I am also tired of hearing about women that have more than one kid from different dad's.. did you not learn what caused you to get pregnant the first time? My husband and I are the responsible ones, paying child support but we struggle to provide for our two children. Is it fair? No.

Ray 6 years ago

I'm not bitter....just 30k in the hole because I couldn't afford support while paying our mortgage when she moved out. So then the court found me guilty of arrears for that time period, so in the process of losing my home I had a 60% wage garnishment attached to my income. I touched 345 dollars last month. And the B!TCH of it is....1. You won't qualify for social services because they go off gross income and 2. I have a 40k student loan that won't take into consideration my garnishment and reduce the payment so i won't go in default. Now...the job I have requires I keep my student loan in good's currently in tell me how exactly i keep that loan in good standing and keep my job so I don't go further in arrears with my child support and end up in jail? Besides do i find an apartment to live in...or eat? I lost EVERYTHING due to my divorce and ended up owing for what i haven't made yet too. I understand the guys who post on here about jail or death being an easier option. I'm college educated and I can't fathom anyone having kids nowadays. And all this because....she wasn't happy.

?? 6 years ago

Oh how do i love this conversation...I have a boyfriend of 3yrs. He has two little girls who love us. A stupid greedy selfish. No i don't say it to be a ***** about it but because its been hell since the day we'vce gotten together! I must say that she has tried and still continues to screw my boyfriend in any way. Anyhow my boyfriend pays 1,500.00 a month ok? Yet its not enough! She has a full time job..always out in about shopping name it its there. Also, besides the 1,500.00 he pays for there clothing that are in our home, he feeds them, he takes them out for entertainment , buys them toys, they have great christmas's, birthdays and etc!!! How does that work? I mean does she really spean that much on a child a month? I mean not only did he make the child but so did she so why is this? I mean is she also putting her part or is MY BOYFRIEND soon to be FIANCÉ supporting their whole family? and what i mean by that is she has her own little boyfriend of 1 1/2 yr that also works 40 hrs and not too long ago she took my boyfriend to court becuz of the fact that she said she needed more money! she doesn't like me she hates him...i mean what's the problem? I just don't get how this court stuff works. Its real stupid espeacilly because of the fact that they hold it against all men. its bs! I mean where do we go to vote for a change in laws? so if my boyfriend pays $18,000 a yr! and for what? cuz these girls are not about it lol! Omg!!!

PHK Corporation 6 years ago

I overheadr a CS worker explaining to a parent that CS will ask more than legally allowable and because of intimidation factors, they receive it. There are child support guidelines that even CS cannot deviate. There are additional guidelines when you are in arrears.

Janeah 6 years ago

I think it's so unfair for the fathers to have to pay so much child support. Yeah that's their child, but the mother should have kept her legs closed. No offense to those mothers who really try and are fair. But everyday I see moms who use that money for their own convinience, getting tattoos, buying expensive stuff like a Channel Bag, going out drinking all the time. Who raised those kids? A lot of the time it's the family. How do they expect the father to live paying child support up the ass? Most of those women don't care, all they think about it is "I'm going to go after him and screw him over." Many of the times these mothers don't even let the fathers see their kids so they use the kids against the fathers all because the woman hates the man. I hate that the government takes the women's side so much. No fairness. Most of these mothers are unfit mothers, having a bunch a kids with different men and asking for child support. It's pathetic. The laws really need to change and the government should really look at the type of woman and mother that's raising that child. Plus these women are on Medicaid, WIC, food Stamps and all kinds of government programs, Plus they have family that helps them, and they're still begging for money. These women claim that their so damn independent but yet depend on every single program, family, and child support, yet still manage to be broke.

Some of these women really need the help and are happy with what they have and always strive to change and improve their lives and their child's life and they don't beg like dogs, because all of these other females that do are BITCHES!

criegi 6 years ago

i have a son with my live-in girlfriend for 13yrs now. she's asking for me to support her after separating aside from the child support for my son. am i suppose to support her as well just because she doesn't work? my son is 13yrs old now. just need some help please..ty

MINX 6 years ago

I have never read so many complaints about having to take care of your child. Children are more than a "responsibility" they are little people and they are your little people. Quit whining about having to help with the finances of having a child. I hear some support payers complaining about "50%" taken from their check and my first question is how far behind are you? Second would you rather have your child full time paying childcare, which ranges from $400 to sometimes $1000 a month. Plus pay for their food, extra activities like sports or dance? Plus figure out health insurance and how to pay for the doc visits and medications, or the clothes they seem to grow out of every other week. How many of your support payers only have your children everyother weekend? Bet you like your "me time". How many of you supports have switched jobs to not pay as much support for your children or gotten paid under the table so there is more $ for you?

Think about the parents who have the children and are recieving or supposed to be recieving support. Supports dont always asume they have it better. Its rough. No breaks when things get crazy in the house. No coming home after a hard day at your lousy job to quiet, and a couch and some down time with your tv. There goes dating too. Who wants to say "sorry I have to wait till next weekend to go out because my kids are home this weekend." It doesn't sound hard but it is. What about the parents who want to better their lives but can't because they are constantly filling in for the other. Or the ones who want more for their children but cant because the stupid child support didn't come.

I give props to the parents who have their children, recieving child support, and making a good living. You decerve it and most importantly your children do.

Those of you who are whith someone paying child support and don't like it, get over it or leave. That child deserves it more than you.

And to the supports, give more than you have to. It doesn't always mean the money. Buy you child a new outfit for school just because. Surprise them on a nonscheduled visitation day (with permission from the custodial as respect) for lunch or dinner. Call your child and tell them you love them or that you thought about them today.

To the children, I hope you have two parents who love you and that you know they do. Things get hard and sometimes they are good but the hard comes first so learn from it. Remember to always speak up and tell how you fell. Be honest with your parents, stepparents, grandparents, aunts, uncles who ever takes care of you.

You are who is important make sure you know it even if you think noone else does.

Sean 6 years ago

I didn't have time to read all the comments made here, but I feel it is time to put in my two cents. I am 21 and I have a daughter from my first marriage. Child support is a b**** but it is not the end of the world.

First off, yes, the CS system is some bull, if youre a man anyway. You walk into the court with a penis between your legs and the odds are already against you. But I will share my story, and how you can play smart and not come out the loser-- and I word it this way because when it comes to CS there IS NO WINNER.

First of all-- I strongly recommend keeping a relationship with the child(ren). If you are on child support, guess what, you are paying for em, so might as well love em! Lol. But really, it can end up two ways.

1) You are not involved in their life and nothing but a check in the mail to them. They grow up having a negative opinion of you. They may even resent you. You get old. You look back at your life and wish you tried to be there for your kids. You miss out on grandkids and great memories.

2) You pay CS, but you are also a father. Even if that means you hang out with your kid for one day a month, and I mean one full day not just a damn hour. Your child actually starts to LOOK FORWARD TO YOU. "When is daddy comin" my daughter always asks. I think there is a term for that-- Disney Dad-- but whatever. Call and ask about life and school. Be there for big things like graduation. You kid grows up having nothing but good memories about you. When you kid is having a baby/getting married/gets a promotion, you are one of the first people to hear the news.

See in both options, you are still paying child support. But on one hand you come across as a deadbeat, the other, you're Disney Dad. And let's face it, the child(ren) will get tired of mom once in a while! Then it's dad to the rescue, even if it's only for one weekend. The fact that you are NOT there all the time BUT a good person makes you more special than the mom lol-- no offense to the moms, I love you ladies.

But anyway that's just my two cents. CS is seen as such a negative thing-- when it's the system that's bad, not the concept of paying for your kids. Look. If you are on child support, make the best of it. You are making an investment in your kids. You can either waste it by not being there for them, or you can come through, love your own blood, and be a proud grandpa one day.

And yes, this is all coming from a 21 year old. Grow up fellas!

Bree 6 years ago

Hi everyone. I am a mother that pays child support for my daughter, she lives with her dad, this was part of our divorce. Now my husband also pays child support, while my husband was overseas with the coast guard, his ex decieded to pack her things and just leave. She has keep his daughter from seeing him for almost 3 yrs. My husband never once has been late with his child support.My husbands ex has him in court almost every year to raise his support. She actually look at him one day in front of the judge and said to him she will not stop until my husband is living in a box. My husband was divorced from his ex 5 yrs ago, and I can honestly say she has almost accomplished it. I have to say my ex has been great we agreed on a price and that is what I pay. I pay it on time and I am never late. I am not a dead beat mom and my husband is not a dead beat dad. But when is enough, enough. There should be limits, but there is not. My husband just lost his job about 2 weeks ago, and the contempt paper are already at the door. I'm sorry but the ex is the dead beat. If she would spend more time with the daughter instead of trying to get back at my husband for her leaving him, this little girl would be better off. All she does is bad mouth my husband, so his daughter thinks bad of him and has no respect for him. My husband spends as much time as he can with her, but because of him being in the service it makes it even harder. Well like the ex said she will not stop until he is in a cardboard box. Any one got a box for sale cause that is where we are going to be. Well sorry my husband is going to be in jail and I will be in the box. It takes two to make a baby and two to raise it. But both parents have to be able to live too.

wickedwanda 6 years ago

For many years I played it nice, took the little hand outs given by the father of my girls. I worked a job and a half, rented houses in places I could afford, feed my kids and ate the left overs. I did what I could to make it for years. In 2008, I was hurt in a motercycle accident. Did not work for 9 1/2 months, things were bad, I asked him for help, he gave me $25.00 a week for the girls and he works for the state of Maryland in the Correctional System, making good money. I was blessed to meet a man who I have moved in with after a long dating period of 10 years my girls love him dearly. Now there father stopped paying told me to take him to court and to get out of his life not to call him for support and that he was no longer paying for insurance. I have gone to the court system and things are being put in place to collect support from him through his pay check. Men if you don't want the woman, takes care of yourr kids. If you don't want the woman don't put things in her way to keep her from being happy. If you don't want the mother still love the product that you made your child enough to wan to see the mother happy and feel secure in the fact the she works, and has provided a safe and loving home for your children. Feel, happy that another man is taking care of your children, taking care of them an providing for them the things that children need. Be a man and provide help for your children they just may have to take care of your sorry ass before you leave this world.

Pippie 6 years ago

it's funny how some women say Men had that child, well I can say I know of a few men who were trapped into having their kids, the WOMEN were supposed to be on birth control , so now they are stuck having to pay for a child that the Woman never lets him see. So now they are taking 50 percent of his paycheck and how are they supposed to live off of that ? Some of it is stupid, If the woman decided to have that child, then she should support it. I agree with some of the men on this subject.

blaque200 5 years ago


Lauren 5 years ago

I think that men who are trying to legitimately do the RIGHT thing and take care of their child appropriately should not be forced to pay so much that they can't even live. However, for every good guy out there it seems like there are 3 bad ones.

In my situation, I haven't even had my baby yet and practically the day the father found out I was pregnant he changed his number so he wouldn't have to talk to me and he never answers the door when I stop by his house. He begged me to have an abortion and I refused. I never cheated on him. Never did anything wrong. He was the one who screwed me over multiple times and broke trust continuously. The relationship just didn't work out and we were broken up by the time I found out I was pregnant. And now he thinks he won't be held accountable because he's ignoring the situation, but that is not AT ALL the case. He will have to pay child support and he doesn't want the child and he isn't in ANY way trying to do the right thing like some of the stories I've read.

I will be a good mother and I won't spend money on myself rather than the baby. If I had it my way, I would rather him take responsibility and be involved like he should than me have to get a court order to get any form of recognition for his actions.

It's in cases like mine, with jerks like my ex, where I feel child support is very reasonable and fair.

He may think he's winning now but this is his baby just as much as it is mine. I will be the parent and love my child but aside from missing out financially, he will also miss out on all the joys I will receive from my child. And one day, my child will understand and hold him accountable for what he's done as well.

It's not a form of revenge for me. I'm not trying to screw him over.

But he can't just walk out on his child with no repercussions.

To all the men out there who really are trying to do the right thing, I wish you the best of luck. You don't deserve that treatment. I'd be lucky to have someone step up like that.

Lauren 5 years ago

Also, I agree with the fact that parents should really be trying to make it work.

Like I said in my last comment, I would rather him step up. I want my child to have his/her real father around and I want them to know him. A child without a parent always has an emptiness.

Do they live and grow and become successful and happy? Sure.

But do they grieve over something lost? Absolutely.

Regardless of my problems with him, I would be willing to put it aside because a child changes everything and takes precedence over that.

If he would just do what he needs to do and be a father and be willing to figure this out just like I am, child support wouldn't even be on my mind.

But for some reason he doesn't care.

The fact that this is HIS child as well doesn't seem to affect him. Which breaks my heart.

Dame  5 years ago

What’s funny is most women know beforehand that the guy they're sleeping with doesn't want a child with them and when they get pregnant still keep the child anyway. Then they go so far as to take a man to court that made it quite clear beforehand that he didn't want children. Why should he have to pay for a child he told you he never wanted? You wanted the child. You take care of it. I think if a lot of mothers were in the male's shoes they wouldn't have the same views. You had just as much choice over opening your legs as he did. But naturally the male gets the short end of the stick. Those type of women are worse than parasites.

Jollie 5 years ago

In my honest opinion i really dont think anyone has a right to complain about child support.. it goes both ways!! they chose to have the child.. they expect only one person to pay for everything to look after them constantly? even if the other person whether it be mum or dad has half custody.. either way they SHOULD pay child support!!! im a single mum and the guy left me when i was 14 weeks pregnant n hadnt heard from him since! he doesnt pay any child support nor has anything to do with his son!!! i think both parties should pay for things!!! as it was their decision to have kids in the first place!!! stop complaining ohh i have to pay this much child support blah blah blah when that kid is still ur flesh and blood and u have the responsibility of paying child support!!!!!!

Jollie 5 years ago

i also think, if people are stupid enough to have unprotected sex and get pregnant then they SHOULD pay it!!! whether they say they want the kid or not.. the matter is.. they still did the deed.. use ur brain and think first.. u did the deed, u pay for it! if u dont want kids keep ur legs closed! Take responsibility for your actions!!! dont just blame the other person! u both did it!

Rose 5 years ago

I am currently separated. My husband cheated on me with a woman that has 4 kids. We have 2 kids together. He makes 5x more money on his income alone without the girlfriends income. I left my kids with him because I didn't make enough to live on my own and thought that the kids needed to stay in a stable household(he kept the house). I finally have place to live, even though I'm living paycheck to paycheck. Now I want to get my kids and now their father is going after me for child support. And get this.........he told me it's not for the money, it's the principal. He somehow thinks that I need to pay him for making him waste the last 13 years being married to me.

matt 5 years ago

child support is horrid I never get see my daughter but I have help out so much send money open her saving account with £2000 in it ma...I have bought her new school uniform like I send I would and done load more cos i d love to be there for I all so like take to Ireland to meet my dad her granddad but I am not load her mum is take the piss out of me I was 18 when I me mum made the mistake like many young teens do but her mum has kept it a secret moved miles away I done ever thing to to find her cos all I want to do is be there for my daughter and be her father I have never run away from it once I knew the truth I have done ever thing I can to be there....say there never been anything between me and her mum expect one drunk night that I cant remember nothing about but I don,t care at all my daughter is no.1 in my life I am there is the her mum is just been selfish bitch why can that stupid women just sit down be reasonable with me let me see my daughter I seen my daughter only once in 13 years and hurt me bad

chris 5 years ago

the state of Michigan garnishes my husband's paycheck 50% for past due child support from 30 years ago. His net pay is $ can this be allowed to happen?and they all themselves, Friends of the Court....what a joke??

deadman walking 5 years ago

Child support is nothing more then legal name was forged on a birth certificate..the judge denied my right to a DNA test..and is now taking almost half my pay...I have a child..and a step child i provide for..I have a family of my own..and have never even seen this child the woman claims is mine..yet im suppost to live off of less then 500 a month? My god...What can I do? I've considered eating a bullet just so my fiance will move on and find a better man...My life is utterly ruined..i will never be able to provide for myself let alone my children. What can I do? Why starve my family to pay for one child that I dont even beleive is mine..fuck florida. thats all I can say.

Lily 5 years ago

Are you kidding me people? You men are complainig acting like women pocket this money and live the life. Child support is not enough to live on, which means that the woman or man has to work just like you only they have to pay someone an astronomical fee to watch the child while they go to work. Price child care and add that to rent, food, insurance, gas, household goods, clothes, phone and all other bills then subtract what she or he can earn at a full time job. then add you support. it usually barely adds up, if it even does. I work full time as a health care providor, I took a pay cut due to crappy legislation. I bring home 1200.00. I have 3 kids. Rent is 700.00, 200.00 electric. 150.00 insurance. 90.00 gas 400.00 food 45.00 phone and 500.00 a month in child care expenses. that is 2085.00 without soap or clothes, etc when they grow. I get 500.00 a month in child support that is 1700.00 a month total, do the math. When the noncustodial parent goes to work they get up and go, custodial parents cant. I know some people take advantge but seriously, it is expensive raising kids.

Aries 5 years ago

I am way too upset to not post... You people dont understand that every non-custodial parents living and expense situation is different, not to mention if new kids are involved or if a job is lost etc. So if everyone is unique with their own unique situations then why would it EVER make sense to put "disposable pay - 50%" into a court child support calculator and then assign payment amounts accordingly?!?! I have an 11 year old daughter whos father only paid 32-48 dollars per month for the past 4 years now and I neither expect it nor count on it and I don't complain. And my fiancée of 9 years now had 2 children from a previous marriage and he has 50% of his wages garnished and ALL of his tax returns are garnished! We can't marry without an attorney who can write up protection for my assets and income, and we have an 8 year old son together and even the 3000 dollar per year earned income credit for MY son goes to his ex wife who makes 4 times as much as us combined! Again, I receive 30-48 bucks per Month and my fiancée pays one half his income and all tax refunds and still owes arrears! We are drowning while the other family is cruising in the Titanic so to speak...... SAD;(

Aries 5 years ago

I am way too upset to not post... You people dont understand that every non-custodial parents living and expense situation is different, not to mention if new kids are involved or if a job is lost etc. So if everyone is unique with their own unique situations then why would it EVER make sense to put "disposable pay - 50%" into a court child support calculator and then assign payment amounts accordingly?!?! I have an 11 year old daughter whos father only paid 32-48 dollars per month for the past 4 years now and I neither expect it nor count on it and I don't complain. And my fiancée of 9 years now had 2 children from a previous marriage and he has 50% of his wages garnished and ALL of his tax returns are garnished! We can't marry without an attorney who can write up protection for my assets and income, and we have an 8 year old son together and even the 3000 dollar per year earned income credit for MY son goes to his ex wife who makes 4 times as much as us combined! Again, I receive 30-48 bucks per Month and my fiancée pays one half his income and all tax refunds and still owes arrears! We are drowning while the other family is cruising in the Titanic so to speak...... SAD;(

steve 5 years ago

Put it this way the ladies on here is always saying that the it had the baby and that it is our fault. well, think about it this way, both the female and male is at fault. you both had a part in it. the female spread her legs and let the guy go in that place. now ladies ladies, if you think that this is the guy only having the baby by hisself... think again. you are also at fault. now, I know that I will have a lot of hate back on my small content here, but this will only be because it is true. god bless and take care. love all you my children's.

Scott 5 years ago

Everyone's got a story... pointing the finger, guys get mad at the mothers, mothers get mad at the fathers when in all reality it's the system, it's broken and will never get fixed. Fathers will get weekend visitation while the mothers have to raise the child. It's just another part of our society that's completely fubar. I actually think it's worse then the correctional system where they deal with the problem by locking people up. Look at modern day society compared to when the divorce rate was reasonable. Crime, Sexually transmitted diseases, Teen suicide, are all up, and the list goes on! Deadbeat dads... I hear it all the time but think about this for a second, lets say you take 50% of a persons wages for CS, taxes take another 25%, that's a total of 75% right, so if I make a average wage where I live of $10hr, then my actual take home is $2.50hr. If I work a 40hr week then that's $100 per week take home. Who can live on that? Who could actually be a father, a real father, one that's there fighting for his kids with everything he has and trying to be there for them on $400 a month? He can't even take care of himself. CS takes everything from one parent and gives it to the other. This is why fathers run and don't take care of their kids. It's because you strip a man of all his pride and all you have left is a soulless creature that doesn't care about anything, not even himself. They become like a beat dog that just walks out into the road to die. I knew a guy that did it for years and finally just gave up, got his grandfathers gun, put it into his mouth and blasted the back side of his skull onto his parents wall. It's real hard trying to make it in this world living on these wages. Just so the mother doesn't have to struggle... but it's never enough. never. Give a person a Million dollars and they'll need 2 million just to make ends meet, then it's 3 million. I'm sorry but I don't think it's right to force one parent to live in poverty so the other parent can drive a new car, the new iPhone and not have to worry about paying the bills cause he owes me child support. I feel that if a man wants to be a father, then god damn it let him. don't force the issue of every other weekend and take his money and eventually his lively hood. How does this help the kids? The system doesn't care, they never do. If you kill someone in our country, we will kill you. problem solved right? Is this what good decent people do? It makes me ashamed to be an American when you wake up everyday missing your child and there is absolutely nothing you can do about it. CS gives you the run around all the time. They're people, they don't care, they just want their paycheck so they can live their version of the American dream. If it means taking a guy that get's 2 months behind on his child support and throwing him in jail then that's fine because it's their job. Just like the guy that throws the switch on another execution. "I'm not the bad guy, I'm just doing my job".... It will never change because men can't afford to take care of themselves or hire a decent lawyer to make things right and the devastating effects that this structure has on our youth is devastating. You never know what it's like until your forced to live like this. waking up everyday just to go work and not have a single dime to show for it, and then being told when you can see your kid and when you can't. My son screams bloody murder when I take him home and it's heartbreaking. He's 3 years old now and already is asking if he can stay with me. When our economy crashed I lost my job and got behind. 2 months behind they took my license and will not give it back until I'm caught up. I have a Class A CDL and used to drive a truck. CS currently takes 65% of my wages on $8 p/hr and will not re-evaluate, I need a lawyer for that. I can't even afford the gas to get my son. I have sold all my personal belonging to pay my child support. I have a bag of clothes and that's it. I rely on other people to support me while I try my damnedest to support my son. There are no assistance programs for men. Only women. My roughly .80 cent's an hours just doesn't cut it. It doesn't even pay for my transportation to work. The past lives of other people dictate the lives of my child and I. I am a proud father, but feel beyond worthless and a person. All I want is to take care of my child, not pay for him. I feel that should be my god given right. This country should be ashamed of itself.

mom to be 5 years ago

I'm really scared after reading all of these comments wanting child support from my son's father. I'm due in a month and I worked up until now at a minimum wage job not getting many hours. My son's father works at a high end hotel and makes more than minimum wage plus tips. He just has money laying around and instead of helping me buy anything for our son, he's spent it on expensive clothes, gadgets, weed, and anything else he wants. I keep all of my money saved so I can finally afford a car and don't have to use my parents'. My family so far has paid for all of the furniture, doctor's appointments, and well anything else. He did buy me a stroller and it was so sweet of him. I give him all the chances in the world to be here but he's always telling em he doesn't see the point until our son is older. In which he then wants to smoke with him and take him to strip clubs. I said that was a funny joke and he said he wasn't kidding. He just thought it'd be so cool. We're both young and have a beautiful little miracle on the way that I'm staying home to take care of. Not because I'm lazy. In fact once our son gets old enough to eat solids and not need to breastfeed I plan on going back to work. Hopefully something over night so he doesn't have to go to daycare since his father won't watch him. He has something set up with my parents so he can give me money monthly and I can pay for health insurance for our son and whatever other expenses arise. I'm always welcoming him to come help and stay, but he always says that there's no point and he goes out late with his friends doing things a father shouldn't and saying he needs to be stress free. Yet he sleeps 16 hours a day and has no pressure on him. He's finishing up school and I had to stop in the middle so I could work more and take care of our soon to arrive son. I'll be able to go back around the same time I work, but my parents can't pay for everything. They have two other children. So i feel like my son's father should have to pay at least some money. I don't want to make him broke, but i know how much he makes and how much he's giving me. I don't want to complain because something is better than nothing, but I guess reading all of these things, I feel guilty asking for money. Even though he chooses not to be here and from previous statements that I was told were not jokes, I don't think I really even want him here. It just seems like there's an ongoing debate and I wish I had kids with some of the dads on here instead. They actually want to be here and I'm sure they'd willingly help with expenses without my parents having to get involved. He just doesn't help in any way possible and I still feel bad reading this. If for some reason I decided to go through the government because he wasn't holding up to what he had said, I don't want to make him broke and cause problems, but he doesn't do anything else and I've had to spend alot of money for our son and I no longer have an income. I just want to know if I should feel bad or not... I really so try to get him involved and make him look to be a good guy... but it's really hard when he acts and says the things he does. I don't want to be vindictive, I just want my son to have everything his little heart desires and not have to know the bad things that happen between his mommy and daddy...

Alvin 5 years ago

Ok listen this to all you bitter waomen I want you to try to look at it from this prospective if a man and woman have a child and they break up more than likely the mother will keep custody of the child wheter the man likes it or not he is then made to pay at least half of all expenses for the child even if the child stays with the father for the summer he still hasd to pay that money its not 50-50 when deciding the custiody of the child is it. ok next a man makes $2000 a month before taxes after taxes its about $1600 child support is about $800 which makes his take home about $800 a month now that is so far below the poverty level it is ridiculous now because we are men we cant go get welfare and its damn near impossible to get any government assistance if you dont have custody of the child so please tell me what is a man to do

Terry 5 years ago

You know what, I am a woman who thinks some of this is complete nonsense. I am with a man who used a condom with a another woman before we met, needless to say, the condom broke and low and behold prego. Now he expressed that he did not want the baby and could not afford it and of course she had it anyway, because its a woman right to choose...then choose to pay for it alone, why should he have to pay, he didnt want the baby and because he left her and ended the relationship, not she is sour grapes. If you could not afford to take care of it on your own , u probably should have thought twice...stupid bitch

Katie 5 years ago

Everyone's situation is different. But I can say this ... woman who aren't married and have a child should not automatically get full custodial rights. This is unfair. It should be 50/50 shared immediately if the man or woman wants to go for full custody or wants to be considered the custodial parent .... that parent should have to pay the lawyer with their funds! The court system expects a man to pay for child support while they have zero rights until they spend 1500 to 5000 on a lawyer. Money doesn't grow on trees. Some women are not working saying that they are going back to school and just raking in free money for their children while the father never gets to see his child and can't afford to live let alone get a lawyer you tell the guys to get a second job .... well get a job yourself! The government is wrong when it comes to parental rights. Think for a second ladies if you were to have your newborn child taken from you and the only way you could see him/her is if you asked the father nicely ... then you had to pay him while you weren't allowed to see your child. It's called look at it in another perspective. Selfish!

Jessica 5 years ago

I am a single mother who has struggled to take care of my one year old daughter. What a lot of people on here don't realize is that there are mothers out there who need a child support check just to get by. I just now started getting a check from her father, who has never bothered to even met her. Needless to say it'll only be enough to fill the gas tank when I have bills and daycare costs. The reason why child support is set up is because it is supposed to help the custodial parent help take care of the child THEY conceived TOGETHER. If her father and I was together the money would still be spent on his daughter. Whats even more maddening is that he is a great father to his son, he makes sure all his son's needs and wants are met while he has nothing to do with his daughter. Their are fathers out there who do everything to make sure their child has everything they need, if her father lived by this example I wouldn't need the courts to step in to garnish his wages.

Rob 5 years ago

I believe that is not fair that the women gets everything when it comes to child support. My ex doesn't work she just sits around eating Bon bons and watchs tv she won't get a job cause if she does she won't be able to collect

Money from me and the judge let's her get away with it. She's been going to college for 13 years and she is able to get a job but she's probably going to wait till my son is 18

Anna Macel 5 years ago

Scott why don't you get custody of you son get a job and put you son in day care and you would have to pay your ex and she would have to get a job and pay you somethng. When I was young with my two kid he had my son and I had my daughter and did have to pay cs we bother were elgible for services and did have to payback Look at it this way as long as you put a roof over you child head and come home to him you'll be ok budget is what I learn as long as my rent was pay 500.00 50.00 was my electric bill and food stamps cover which I had to budget lot noodles my son grandma bought clothes for my kids when she want to I never ask any one for anything it was a struggle never bought my self any thing all my money went to my kids I was always budgeting months a head so my kids could have school clothes and supply and christmas one toy each and I couldn't afford to get a job cause babysitter was to expensive what was my purpose to work not in till they where old enough.I had two other kids and the're dad help with they're support all my kids grow up ok and my son ,self suppport him self throw school graduate and when put him self throw college and has a great job and two kid and his wife left him cause she said he work to much and went and got pregnant from a puri guy with no paper and want my son to pay her more money which he did have no problem paying her child support he give her enough money to have her own place and food and he buy the kids what they need, and she recently had her baby with some other guy and want my son to pay her another 700.00 more on top of what he pays. My son is try to start a buisness and she thinks that he is making more money. the married with her is over and it what you bring to the table my son need to go to court and fight for his right cause his a good father he makes sure his kids have ever thing she just want more monry to support her other child thats not my son responsiblilty and my son put her thru school while he worked and went to school to get a head and gave her everthing he want the married to work but she want to go back to her old ways a party girl and don't take cae of the kids the grandparent have then after school and my son pick them up on his days and on other ocasions last week he went to pick the kids up they were going to a birthday party it was set, when she start asking for 700.00 more of child support my son said no. she said since its my week the kid are not going. What does that tell you about this no good for nothing.Sorry grandkids that I had to say that about your mom But when some uses there kids like that, check you self cause even if your hurting they Dad think again you hurting your own KIDS!!! and when they grow up they will always remember and you could never take it back

Amber 5 years ago

It's amazing how selfish and ignorant women (yes, men too but there are way more women) are. Nobody deserves not to be able to live off of their income while the other parent lives happily off of the others income...and of course the the women chooses not to work so they can get more child support from the father. those women should be a shamed of themselves and yes I did see a few on this page. its time to grow up and be a responsible adult if you expect the father to be. the states need to get away from favoring the child to be with the women! let the women see how it feels to pay child support. I would give my life time wages to them being the ones to start bitching about it too!!! The way child support is figured is unfair, faulty, and unreasonable. some men make better parents then a lot of women especially the one's that use the support for their own selfish wants. looks like its time for those who do pay it to stand up and do something about though. just complaining about it doesnt do any good. one voice is hard to hear whereas many voices are unable to be ignored.

Luis 5 years ago

I find it crazy how in the state of Texas I asked for a divorce and went away for the weekend with family to ease my mind, well when I came back she called the police and stated I beat her. The case was dropped but when when we went before the judge he wanted to have me go threw the kid exchange program( have to pay and be recorded to see my kids) I told the judge I am divorcing my wife not my kids. Well he has me go to the kids ex. but I will not have my kids and I be the high light of the day to a 19 yr old kid. So my ex wife has moved on turned gay and wont let me see my kids.... UGh!!!

courtney 5 years ago

SO ridiculous how unfair men are treated when it comes to their children. I always see women complaining how they have to do it all the men don't help blah blah. Most of these woman having children they can't support go on welfare and wic anyway- and then EXPECT the man to pay them child support. My brother just had a baby with a girl who he didn't even know was pregnant she put the baby in someone else's name with the other guy on the BC then she decided to take my brother to court for child support. He was fine with paying the money they ordered him to pay and was taking the baby every week from friday til monday, while she was living in the projects on welfare with her two other kids NEVER having a job- he was buying the baby everything she needed, even formula cause she would never give it to him even though it was free for her. My brother then got laid off and had to go on unemployment and now they want him to pay half of his check to a welfare scumbag who spends it all on herself and the baby will go without because not only will my brother not be able to buy anything for her he wont even be able to buy food or pay his rent. This systems sucks my birth father had a good paying job yet got off paying 40/wk for two kids because he decided to go off and have 7 more kids- the ones who really want to pay it and take care of their kids are the ones that suffer, the lazy mothers and deadbeat fathers are the ones who make out fine

ohboy 5 years ago

i was stay at home dad 14 years. ex cheated on me for 5 years. I moved out and divorced she got the kids.. I have no job she didn't have to pay me a dime in spouse support.

i lived with a freind finally got a job 8 per hr. cant afford to rent because i pay $350 for kids

she always made 65g a year. still dose and is never home

life sucks! kill me !

get over ittttttt 5 years ago

different scenarios and noone has the right to judge and to those new g/f and wives...stop being upset with the fact that all that cs money isn't being spent on you....i'm a single mother working my ass off for my child's sake along with being a great mother alone...the father and i split do to him being abusive,manipulative,possesive...along with the fact that i just couldn't deal with his nonsense i left pregnant and all.....when i gave birth months later..i tempted to be reasonable and allow him to be apart of our daughter's life and he begged pleaded to be with me again and it all seemed as our daughter was irrelavant..he wasn't concerned about was more about us being together...i wasn't with all the stress or drama and i told him...i can't spend anymore of my time or surround our child around any of that....either u chose to be apart of her life and help me take care of her or we can go through the courts...he says i could kill myself and our child.....that was very heartless and to be real it pushed me closer to the cs...i tried to be the adult and handle things in a mature nature and he allowed his ruthless words and bitch ass emotions to get in the way......i sincerely RESPECT those Men who are doing they're best to be in the child's life...we all got to make it work!God is watching and listening to everything...until then...gotta make ends meet...i've been surviving without his help...yet rent continues to increase and i have too much pride to ask anyone for he can play his role and help a woman out...considering the fact that he was the one who wanted a child and i'm against abortion......she's my heart and soul and that's the greatest gift ever!!GOD IS GOOD!

kris 5 years ago

Maybe because I was raised in a different situation, I have a very different view point when it comes to child support. I was raised by a single mother, who NEVER put out her hand to request money from my father. This woman worked hard to feed me, clothe me, take care of my every need, was able to buy a house and put me through college so that I would not have any loans to pay after school etc. I look up to my mother for that. The one thing that she drilled into my head from a young age was this, although it takes two to make a baby, we as women have the ultimate decision to make as to whether or not to have this baby. If you know from jump street that this may put a financial strain on you, then it is to your best interest for you to really consider if having a child is the right thing to do. No child should have to suffer just because of a parent's ill decisions. In either case, I think as a mother you should not EXPECT for a man to take care of his child. You carried this child for 9 months, gave birth, fed this baby and took care of him/her. This is YOUR responsibility. Now if a man wants to step up to the plate and take care of his responsibility I applaud that. I really do. But in no means should I, as the mother, have to rely heavily on this man to take care of my seed. God forbid if the father were to pass away or something were to happen to him, then what? where will you get the means to provide for your child? Women, we need to do better when we make that choice to have a baby! The state should not ever have to enter into the affairs of a family. And what some do not realize is that for the men who are being an all-around good guy, when you put him through the ringer with the child support, you can change the very nature of this person. You risk the chance of him almost wishing that he never had a child to begin with. That he has mixed emotions whenever he is around his child. On the one hand, love his child with all his heart, and on the other, is suffering on the inside, knowing how much he must sacrifice just for this child. So because of my own situation, I cant always look favorably on the struggling mother's plight because this was the choice that you, yourself and you decided to take. And if you did decide to take on that task, then bear the responsibilities fully as well.

5 years ago

If you are a father who has their child more than 50% of the time you do not need to be paying child support. Or if you share custody then you shouldn't be paying. But, if you are an absentee father and ditches your family so you could move on you better be paying to help your child get the best. And if you pay support and don't get to see your child, stop whining on here and file a motion in probate court. Be active and do something about it. Complaining isn't gonna get you anywhere. Yes some baby Momma'a abuse their support and use it for themselves. Then there are some of us who rely on that help to pay rent, feed and clothe the child. Every situation is different. If support didn't exist more women would be forced to live off the system. If you created a child with someone step up and assume responsiblity. Be a man.

5 years ago

Families are meant to be together for better or worse. If you decide to leave without making every means possible to work out your problems, then any financial burden should be placed on you. So many women play the system and screw over the father. Nothing worse than a bitter womans scorn. If you keep your child from the father just because you want more money, may god have mercy on your soul, all youre doing is hurting your child. Something called co parenting and getting a job!

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LutherEvans022571 5 years ago

Women, it is called child support, not ex wife or ex girlfriend support, but child support. if the money is going towards rent or house payments, electricity, water, food gas, ect. things that the child needs i'm cool with that. But women it pisses me off when you all take that money and get you hair and nails done, buying new outfits and shoes, gucci bags and the whole nine. Thats why a lot of men are offended, not paying the child support, but how some women abuse it. one coment made by amber talking about men complaining about paying child support and taking care of the kids. i have a child 4 years old that i take very good care of. But thats the thing, my job is to take care of him, not her. thats why men complain. you all get off government assistance, and get a job and be a cotributing member of society. Show your kids you are more than just a baby making machine just to get a check, if i have to work everyday, then you should too, quit living off of me. pay for what the child needs and whatever is left put it in a savings for them like my mother and brother did his kids he had custody of, and his ex wife had to pay child support. they put it in the bank for when they got older they will have money for college or something like that. the money is not for you, its for the child, so quit getting your hair and nails done, and buying new outfits and shoes and partying, its not your money but the childs money to support them.

Trudi 5 years ago

Child support should be paid. It takes two to tango. If the woman is looking after the kids she can't work. It's a fulltime job until they reach school age. Women who take on men that already have children should realise that they are taking on an already made family and if they want more children his previous partners children shouldn't suffer. You must know all children cost money to raise stop complaining that he has to pay for the other ones he has already fathered. Who do you think should pay for them their his children.

Angel 5 years ago

im 18 years old and i have 2 kids. 2 beautiful boys. my ex cheated on me and we haven't been right ever since i finally moved on and i have been having jobs ever since i was 16 under the table i now work at a job that is weekly pay and she found out i had a girlfriend and knew i had a job and said since she cant have me she is going to have my money. She believes that now that i have a good job i should take her out since i never really had the money to do so before. she doesn't seem to care what i want i want my kids. She is all trying to make a sob story saying she doesnt have time to go out and have fun this n that. I said you can't say that because i have said countless times that i'll take them if she wants to do that. So i am stuck in this position i dont want to talk to her unless its about my kids and all she wants to talk about is my new girlfriend and if i dont tell her what she wants to hear she threatens me about child support.

koral 5 years ago

Same women not like work..only make child for take many of father..why not put on the law every single women over 18 work not tink only aplay fin council house sorry but i so piss off fot that

FKH 5 years ago

DO U ALL FEEL BETTER NOW? NO!?!?! thats because ur complaining on a forum that does nothing, NOTHING. i am too plagued by csea and i get 600 to pay monthly bills, rent alone takes 5/6th of that and then the rest has to go to gas, food, car repairs, electric, telephone,and those are the basics to living so does $100 pay all that... lmfao, first of all i pay 190x2 plus and extra 40x2 for there services and did i have a choice to use there service no, period. i have fallen behind over almost 10 yrs to a lot so i have no license and have to risk being pulled over and paying extra to the city for tickets, again more that is unreasonable. AND, And, and both the children i pay support for are withheld from me by the recipient of the support, so y am i even paying? both recipients of the support are married so they live off 2 incomes plus a childs income.... since when should a income be earned by a child? isnt that illegal, its just a system crafted by manipulators for manipulating finances from one person to another and yes is sometimes plausable but for the most part is about control over the gullable, kind hearted people who chose to avoid puting there child in a court room and split between 2 people, stearn people who leave someone because we live in a world where divorce/separations happen because they are wronged by there spouse. but still the most rediculous is the double jeopardy on ur expendable income. supporters pay to support the system that takes it in the first place charging those who are being deducted? y not take from the one whose wanting there service? if i could sent them a green dot card and save that 80 bucks a week i would gladly but they say "gofly a kite" just to manipulate, control, hurt, and deny US OF OUR CHILDREN MONEY AND DIGNITY OF INDEPENDENCE.... IS THIS AMERICA? THE CITIZENS WHO LOOK FORWARD TO THE 4TH OF JULY? IF UR BRAVE ENOUGH, QUIT SUPPORTING THE SYSTEM, IF UR EVEN ON UR SUPPORT GET A GREEN DOT AND PAY THE $3 A MONTH FEE AND LET THE CSEA SUFFER AND US PARENTS WHO CANT AFFORD WHAT THEY WANT CAN START A SUFFICATION ON CSEA BUDGET, UN NECESSARY CSEA USE ENABLES THEM TO TAKE FROM THOSE WHO HAVE NOT

Yours truly 5 years ago

Most of you guy are lucky enough to get 50% of a mans paycheck. I get 88.80 out of a 500 dollar paycheck. I have to raise my child. Not to mention the 100 mile trips that I had to make to a specialics about my childs feet. I didn't see him there pay for the gas and everything else. Guys if you are thinking 50% is too much, try being in our shose. 100+ is not nearly enough a week to by the things that that child(ren) need. But your men and don't look at it that way.

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eric1983 5 years ago

i read most of these and all guys aint bad just most of them..... i have two kids a 5 year old girl and a 2 year old boy by two different women.... i pay my child suppost with no problem.. i did make good money at one time before i had kids... lol i love my kids... i pay 916 a mouth thats 83% of my income for the mouth... i make bout 500 a week and i bring home bout 102 a week.. people cant live off that. i have tryed and tryed to find people to talk to fix it... but the state just puts it off... my 2 year old dont even know his dad, my ex telled him its some one else, she dont let me see him at all... the last time i saw him was on mothers day of 2010.. it hurts to not be in able to see your kids... my 5 year old lives 142 miles away from me, and i go out of my way to see her. thats the only way i can see her. cause the mom wont work with me... as of right now, the child suppost she gets from me. supports her, her boyfriend, her boyfriends brother and my babygirl... they all live together in a little apartment... i need help with my problem, but the start dont care bout the man at all... i dont care bout paying child suppost, i love my kids.... i just want it to be fair... if some one knows how to help... i will try everything... thanks

Pit 5 years ago

This reminds me at the Willy Lynch Syndrome. Here is an excerpt about the topic and tell me if I am wrong:

"I have outlined a number of differences among the slaves, and I take these differences and make them bigger. I use fear, distrust, and envy for control purposes. These methods have worked on my modest plantation in the West Indies, and it will work throughout the South. Take this simple little test of differences and think about them. On the top of my list is "Age", but it is there because it only starts with an "A"; the second is "Color" or shade; there is intelligence, size, sex, size of plantations, attitude of owners, whether the slaves live in the valley, on a hill, East, West, North, South, have fine or coarse hair, or is tall or short. Now that you have a list of differences, I shall give you an outline of action--but before that, I shall assure you that distrust is stronger than trust, and envy is stronger than adulation, respect, or admiration. The Slave, after receiving this indoctrination, shall carry on and will become self refueling and self generating for hundreds of years, maybe thousands.

First of all, we need a man, a pregnant woman and her baby boy. Second, we will use the same basic principle that we use in breaking a horse, combined with some more sustaining factors. What we do with horses is that we break them from one form of life to another; that is, we reduce them from their natural state in nature. Whereas nature provides them with the natural capacity to take care of their offspring, we break that natural string of independence from them and thereby create a dependency status, so that we may be able to get from them useful production for our business and pleasure.”


For fear that our future generations may not understand the principles of breaking both of the beast together, the man and the horse. We understand that short range planning economics results in periodic economic chaos; so that to avoid turmoil in the economy, it requires us to have breadth and depth in long range comprehensive planning, articulating both skill sharp perceptions. We lay down the following principles for long range comprehensive economic planning. Both horse and man [are] no good to the economy in the wild or natural state. Both must be BROKEN and TIED together for orderly production. For orderly future, special and particular attention must be paid to the FEMALE and the YOUNGEST offspring. Both must be CROSSBRED to produce a variety and division of labor. Both must be taught to respond to a peculiar new LANGUAGE. Psychological and physical instruction of CONTAINMENT must be created for both. We hold the six cardinal principles as truth to be self-evident, based upon following the discourse concerning the economics of breaking and tying the horse and the man together, all inclusive of the six principles laid down above. NOTE: Neither principle alone will suffice for good economics. All principles must be employed for orderly good of the nation.

Accordingly, both a wild horse and a wild or natur[al] man is dangerous even if captured, for they will have the tendency to seek their customary freedom and, in doing so, might kill you in your sleep. You cannot rest. They sleep while you are awake, and are awake while you are asleep. They are DANGEROUS near the family house and it requires too much labor to watch them away from the house. Above all, you cannot get them to work in this natural state. Hence, both the horse and the man must be broken; that is breaking them from one form of mental life to another. KEEP THE BODY, TAKE THE MIND! In other words, break the will to resist. Now the breaking process is the same for both the horse and the man, only slightly varying in degrees. But, as we said before, there is an art in long range economic planning. YOU MUST KEEP YOUR EYE AND THOUGHTS ON THE FEMALE and the OFFSPRING of the horse and the man. A brief discourse in offspring development will shed light on the key to sound economic principles. Pay little attention to the generation of original breaking, but CONCENTRATE ON FUTURE GENERATION. Therefore, if you break the FEMALE mother, she will BREAK the offspring in its early years of development; and when the offspring is old enough to work, she will deliver it up to you, for her normal female protective tendencies will have been lost in the original breaking process. For example, take the case of the wild stud horse, a female horse and an already infant horse and compare the breaking process with two captured males in their natural state, a pregnant woman with her infant offspring. Take the stud horse, break him for limited containment. Completely break the female horse until she becomes very gentle, whereas you or anybody can ride her in her comfort. Breed the mare and the stud until you have the desired offspring. Then, you can turn the stud to freedom until you need him again. Train the female horse whereby she will eat out of your hand, and she will in turn train the infant horse to eat out of your hand, also. When it comes to breaking the uncivilized man, use the same process, but vary the degree and step up the pressure, so as to do a complete reversal of the mind.

In the words of Willie Lynch in 1712, there are many ways in which you can keep control of your "slaves".


Just a thought! :)

Pissed in Newport Vermont 5 years ago

Well I know this goes both ways but seriously...she pays no rent, they have his support order on 43 hours a week and his lawyer got him to agree to 50 more a month to make things really now he lives on 200. or less a week and can barely pay the bills yet we provide the jackets and boots and all the nice clothes they wear!!! When does it stop???? She claims she works on 16 hours a week when it is more like 26...and gets all the state assistance she wants....IT IS BULLSHIT.... my ex and I always worked together so he could survive....such CRAP!!!

michigan55 5 years ago

Its not about a non-custodial parent begruding support to their children. It's about leaving the non-custodial parent with no way to survive. The custodial parent usually has a home, food, and other essentials in place for the children. If the children did not exist, that person would still have a roof over their head and buy food.. the non-custodial parent is being denied the right to pay for shelter and food for him/herself when they have low wages. I am all about both parents taking care of their children, but the way it is done is ridiculous. Non-custodial parents need basics to survive, just as everyone else does.

Just Kevin 5 years ago

@Another Josh Although I see these posts are like 3 years old..I went through almost the exact same thing you did. It almost sounded just like my story except I had full custody of my daughter and got it when she was 6 she is now 22 but lets back up just a little bit...I took my X wife to court and got custody because she was abusing my daughter and yes I had proof. Before I was paying child support and I was NEVER late and I NEVER minded paying it but I DID have a problem with her mother spending it on "other" things besides my youngin. Ok When I got custody I waited two years and never got a penny. I took her to court and the judge laughed at me "Literally" and said "I think you will be just fine" So I took her back in another year. The state wouldnt go after her or even lift a damn finger to make her pay. The second time I took her the judge said it wasnt up to him it was up to the state...and I explained the situation and I kid you not the judge said these words.."Yeah son I know I know; Its a womans world" So when people get on here and critize "MEN" I take that to heart. By the way she never paid a dime and the state never did anything but my buddy that was going through the same thing at that point in time got put in jail for missing 4 payments because he was working odd jobs and not paying the state.

Now I pay support on a kid I havent seen in 8 years because I have no idea where his mother moved him too but guess what? I pay it anyway.. So the next time someone on here wants to sterotype "Men" they need to rethink their statements and maybe word it as "In my situation"

Just Kevin 5 years ago

Oh one more thing while I am on a role LOL

The women that gripe about how much they get in support (Not all women) just the ones who are sitting on their butts and raking in Government income AND child support.

I have three words for you; GET A JOB!!!!!!!!!

Kaykay 5 years ago

I am amazed at the lack of responsibility in what should be men, YOU LAY, YOU PAY PERIOD!!! Children do not ask to come here and with all that birth control methods available I do not want to hear men complain about a thing. I am one of those ex-wives who worked her behind off while the ex did everything to hide money and try to get around the system. The is for the lawless not the lawful; if you are lawful you have nothing to complain about! And, let me break it down for you: Time is given, water, food, shelter, clothes,shoes, hospital, school, field-trips, Do fathers pay for this so your 50% out of your non-net income isn't JACK!!! STOP Playing.

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mariemarie33 5 years ago

it's always the deadbeat father or current wife/girlfriend of the bum who calls the woman who is custodial mother to his child "greedy' and "lazy".

wow, BEING A MOM IS A JOB UNTO ITSELF, most of us work 2 jobs while good ol' "dad" only works MAYBE 1 job!

the so called "father' of my small child was court ordered to only pay 200.00 a month,he is self employed and lied to the courts, he was supposed to pay directly to us, he STILL rarely pays that pathetic amount

whines about times being hard for everyone then goes and buys himself anything he wants, including european vacation, new horse, marijuana.... finally going after him legally after putting up w/ years of his bs because i did not want to anger him, and when i politely asked when he might be able to pay anything to help with his son since he is 6+ months late in support he yelled and ranted, called me a greedy b%tch, yep, a real winner.

Taxed out of his mind 5 years ago

I make $48,000 yr and pay $1350 a month... For the person paying child support, why doesn't the IRS take into consideration that the person paying should have some sort of tax break! I have no issues paying support, it's the person getting it. Why can't they pay some sort of tax? We pay taxes for every other form of financial aid or help.. Why can't I just be taxed on what I actually gross minus child support? Hope this makes sense

mike 5 years ago

if your paying the support you should be able to claim your kids and the earned income credit concidering your paying way more now for your kids then when they lived with you! but courts are set up to victimize dads when more often then not it was a slutty mother who phooked up the relationship and now the gold digging wench gets to take all your money as well....i say when a women is like this ...wipe em out and raise your kids!

me 5 years ago

I agree with the statement above. My brother pays child support and can't even barely take care of himself or his other 2 children that live with him. Each week more than 1/2 of his paycheck is taken. Neither mother works, they think the child support money is their paycheck. The child support is so against men, I think it needs a whole new make over. Make the women work!!!

Nate 4 years ago

I am forced to live on the street because of my child support I don't make enough money to have a place because they take half of my check is there anything I can do, the reason they take half my check is cus I feel behind on my payments can I ever have my own place

Rosa 4 years ago

My boyfriend and I are from Ontario Canada, and well child support is 50% of wages. I am on both sides here, while I dont see it fair for fathers to have to pay so much, I also think mothers need help. My boyfriend has 2 kids from his first marriage half of his pay is given to his ex. He and I have a beand new baby girl, and well I am supporting the 3 of us plus his 2 kids everyother weekend ( Its court ordered). I love the 2 kids with all my heart, but how fair is it that we cant afford to do anything fun with them while they are here? Their mother takes them everywhere and makes us look cheap!!!!!! We can barely afford to live while she makes more money than the 2 of us combined plus she is living with someone else. Also when the man files for income tax he still has to pay because you cant claim child support, so to the government you are making your regular wages, and well the mother who gets the child support doesnt claim the support as a second income so she is a single parent claiming only one income gets money back.... Honestly I think the parents that have to give 50% + are getting screwed over!!!! My boyfriend wants to be more involed in his childrens lives but we cant afford it!!!! I am not sticking up for the dead beat dads/ moms!!! I just think the courts need to have a better way at helping the families out.

Mr_n_H 4 years ago

I have a two year old son from my previous marriage. I have been with my girlfriend for 2 years now and we are 5 months pregnant. My ex wife makes $3,200 a month, drives a 2011 Mercedes C300, and got breast enlargements. We have 50% custody but I have visitation the 1st 3rd and 5th weekend from friday night to sunday night of each month. She lives at home with her parents for free and works as a social worker. She makes $19/hour and I make $9.25/hour. Im being garnished $550 a month for health care for my son and only $160 a month for child support. That is a total of $710 a month. I bring home about $1,100 after taxes. They expect me to live off of $390 a month. Im being garnished more then 50% of my disposable income, I thought this was illegal in the state of california?! For all those women who complain that the father does not provide for their children well let them have more damn visitation so they can provide! My girlfriend and I purchased a home about a year ago; my son has his own room to himself. My son has his own bed, lots of toys and lots of clothes that I have purchased over the last two years. Im a good father who provides for his child and wants more time with his child. But yet im not being granted more time and yet I am garnished about 80% of my income. What is wrong with this world? Oh and for those of you who might think im a loser, well you are wrong. I have a Bachelors Degree and just a month ago completed the police academy and im in the hiring process for different agencies. Why do child support laws literally rape men?

unlucky but lucky 4 years ago

man, this is a full on topic. i am a new father. i didnt have a say in becoming a parent. i missed out on the borth of my son due to the crazy moods of my ex. that aside, i WILL make sure i pay child support, even though she thinks it will screw up her benifits. i told her its calculated from my earnings, and how often i see the child, but she thinks other wise. she just wants to have as much money from the government as possible, and collect from me off the books. OFF THE BOOKS! that happened to a guy i know, and when his daughter was 18 the mother took him to court claiming he had given nothing in way of child support, though he had been for years. there was no proof.

to the guys reading this. do not take any chances. i believed this girl when she said she couldnt have a baby. im not going to believe her when she says, just pay me 50 bux a week and she will be fine. live and learn i say. ps. he is the best mistake i have made. good luck all.

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Preciouslovergirl 4 years ago

Please advise, men sometimes do take advantage of a woman's kindness. I am married with him and he has to kids outside of our marriage (before we met). Now we have our own child, he supports the other 2 kids(i don't even want to mention the maintaince bcoz its a jackpot). He keeps on supporitng them but gives none to our child, i do everything for our child from paying the nanny, clothes, food etc. Isn't this unfair. He pays rent for our flat, but the child of God has got nothing to do with that. When i talk to him to divid the jackpot he's giving to other to all three of them, it seems he listened, but when the month-end comes, he gives none to our child. Now i am thinking of going to court because it is os very unfair.

Pam 4 years ago

These people should not be allowed to reproduce.

Missy 4 years ago

My husband has to pay 780.00 a motnh for one child who is not in daycare and his ex lives with her mother. Now I agree my husband should support his child and so does my husband however, the calculator is insane and unfair. She goes on vaca, gets her hair and nails done, they go on trips, and my daughter has not been able to go anywhere that is not free bc we have two cars, insurance, daycare cost, and bills. WE tried to negotiate it down 300.00 a motnh and she said NO...she just took a job for less pay and now my husands share while it decreases 100.00 does not decrease at what it would be if she was held at her earning potential which is 27000.00 a year????? How is this fair to my children its not.. There is no way oen child cost 780.00 a month 400.00 to 500.00 for a child in public school is even pushing it but, is more reasonable than someone making 35,000 and being told well with her income we find you can pay 1000 and ur share is 62% that is utter bullcrap. We also learned that for the last 4 years she has lied and didnt inform the court or my husband that her daycare cost which we were aware of no longer existed but, became an aftercare cost that was only 185.00 a month as oppose to 720.00 as she claimed....Where are the women held accountable she wants my kids to suffer bc she is not married and the courts back her up. IT IS NOT RIGHT!!!!!!!!

sickof whiney secondwives 4 years ago

to "Missy"

somehow think it is not the full story, you married a man who had a child and the responsibility to take care of that child before you met him, let this be a lesson to all the "ladies" who hook up w/ men who have prior commitments to pay support to their own flesh and blood children, BIG mistake to whine about it not being fair to the children you have w/ a man who's first responsibility is HIS FIRST CHILD

don't have more children with a man who has a hard time paying child support. you and your offspring will never be first priority as far as the courts go.

1515 4 years ago

i have three kids with my ex ages our 10 18 19 he pass child support for my 10 70 dollars a week but he makes about 1700 everytwo week he never take that 10son to his house i paid for his food clothes cell phone and paid 1300 rent i lost my job about 1 ago he took my car away from me and sold the car and the house we bought together. but he took custody of two old kids since 5 years ago can he sue me for child support for two the older kids even thought 18 19 and they own jobs and everything the need food clothes i buy them for them

Amy 4 years ago

Right now, I only receive $4 (4 dollars) a month for my 14 year old daughter from her so-called father. What kind of a job does he have that only deducts that small amount? The original order was for $350/mo but about 5 years ago, that was reduced to $190/mo plus $50/mo toward the arrears. The reduction was due to him having more kids to pay support for & a lower paying job. The last time he saw my daughter was when she was 5 years old. I assume he is either incarcerated or being paid under the table. We have no clue where he is. He has made no effort to try to contact her. The arrears he owes is now at a grand total of $38,000 plus $13,000 in interest! I doubt my daughter will ever see any of it. He is the ultimate dead-beat dad & gives all the good fathers a bad name.

missy 4 years ago

So cheers to the whiney first wives then, that use there children as a paycheck, child support is barely EVER used as just that. they spread there legs for pleasure that produces the children that they use as income, why not make them spread there legs to get a job and get off of wellfare, the entity offers edjucation but you just want to make the man who was once good enough to HAVE children with, keep company with your misery. get a life lump!!!

Response to Missy 4 years ago

In response to "missy" who stated:

"So cheers to the whiney first wives then, that use there children as a paycheck, child support is barely EVER used as just that. they spread there legs for pleasure that produces the children that they use as income, why not make them spread there legs to get a job and get off of wellfare, the entity offers edjucation but you just want to make the man who was once good enough to HAVE children with, keep company with your misery. get a life lump!!!"

Dear "missy" you sound like an uneducated "lump" of white trailer trash!

Why are there so many spelling errors in your posting?

Clearly not typos, they are a clue to what and who you truly are, probably a large couch anchored beast that is obsessive and jealous, you need to get over your hatred of the children in need of support of both parents!

Though some of the court ordered child support mentioned on this thread sounds excessive usually the custodial mom holds down two jobs, FULL TIME MOM and the other to pay the bills while non-custodial "dad" pays so little if any it is a joke, yes it does seem like the "good guys" who want to do right as dads get abused and jerked around by the court system while the scum gets away with not paying a dime.

"missy" you truly sound like one of the scumbags who refuses to support his child, YES we think you are a deadbeat dad more interested in the "spreading of legs" of your ex than your own child's quality of life, you belong on "Jerry Springer" which am sure you watch while "spreading" out on your couch in your trailer park. Cheers!

whether you are really a jealous second wife or perhaps a "dad" bitter because he needed to man up and actually support the children that are his well based on your

Response to Missy 4 years ago

In response to "missy" who stated:

"So cheers to the whiney first wives then, that use there children as a paycheck, child support is barely EVER used as just that. they spread there legs for pleasure that produces the children that they use as income, why not make them spread there legs to get a job and get off of wellfare, the entity offers edjucation but you just want to make the man who was once good enough to HAVE children with, keep company with your misery. get a life lump!!!"

Dear "missy" you sound like an uneducated "lump" of white trailer trash!

Why are there so many spelling errors in your posting?

Clearly not typos, they are a clue to what and who you truly are, probably a large couch anchored beast that is obsessive and jealous, you need to get over your hatred of the children in need of support of both parents!

Though some of the court ordered child support mentioned on this thread sounds excessive usually the custodial mom holds down two jobs, FULL TIME MOM and the other to pay the bills while non-custodial "dad" pays so little if any it is a joke, yes it does seem like the "good guys" who want to do right as dads get abused and jerked around by the court system while the scum gets away with not paying a dime.

"missy" you truly sound like one of the scumbags who refuses to support his child, YES we think you are a deadbeat dad more interested in the "spreading of legs" of your ex than your own child's quality of life, you belong on "Jerry Springer" which am sure you watch while "spreading" out on your couch in your trailer park. Cheers!

hopeless 4 years ago

After my own experiences and reading how shitty it all is I have concluded the only option is a few few bullets in some heads and then one in my own.

Scrooooood 4 years ago

I'm getting close to agreement with hopeless. I am paying 800 a month plus healthcare for my two children in Viriginia. I use the other 1800 I get to support my new wife and two children, one of whom is Autistic. This arrangement means things are tight, but survivable, except that I live in Washington and rarely get to see my children. Well, the Ex just demanded 6000 in back support and an additional 659 per month for child care. If they do that, we will not be able to survive. PERIOD.

The situation is hopeless. I am contesting it and hope to have a date in court, but if they impose this on me, I don't know what I'll do. I am a good dad. I want to be in their lives and be a good provider, but if I cannot find relief, I will figure out another way out once I exhaust all hope and come to the end of my endurance. It is all too much. I miss my kids, and I'm ashamed that my ability to take all of this is diminishing to the point I contemplate such dark thoughts. There is just nothing left after three years. I have no retirement, no valuables, no savings, having sold everything to travel and see my little ones, and to cover things here with the two that live with me. I don't know how or when I will see them again based on the situation now. If they impose this additional duty upon my income, I will lose my car and the place I live now. There are no programs for the family that loses everything due these situations.

the good guy always gets screwed 4 years ago

Dear Scroooood,

Our prayers go out to you, hang in there! the system is corrupt and inhumane.

You sound like a dad who is doing everything he can for his children and since you are "manning up" the system/court wants to suck you dry while deadbeats get away with lavish lifestyles and no consequences for their actions,

The "father" of my 5 year old autistic son does not pay his pathetic 200. a month he was court ordered to pay, he is old enough to be my dad at 56 years! he will never "man up" to supporting his son and is coddled by the new mexico court system, yet the am certain the courts will find me in

contempt when i refuse to let my non-verbal child spend the summer with good ol' "dad" it is not out of spite or that he hasn't paid child support it's because he is a sexual predator who lost his teaching license yet never spent time in prison for molesting his students, New Mexico courts let him off the hook with that also yet am certain i will be jailed for contempt when refuse to let my child be subjected to abuse.

Stand tall when you go to court, your statement reminds me of what my dad went through, don't give up, all your children need you in their lives!

4 years ago

I hate to say it but I refuse to pay my cs, because I have my daughter more than her mother does. I provide more meals weekly than the mother does and the rest are provided at school, It is totally wrong how much they can make you pay and then expect you to live a normal life. I understand some of you women that think men complain probably hate you ex. In my situation, the only reason my ex and I are not together is because she discovered she was gay. Did not bother me at all, more power to her and know reason to keep her from that. Like I said I will not pay my cs and if the state wants me, come get me.

I have a friend who is female and had her kids taken by her ex to another state without telling her and because they were still tech. married at the time it was not kidnapping. They went to court and he ended up with the kids because he had a lawyer and she could not afford one. Anyways she has to pay 40% of her pay every check to cs. That is bull crap! She now has to live with friends and can barely afford to surrvive on her own. So now what? So to all you women that complain about how men complain, the shoe could be on the other foot! Oh and to all you men, work under the table. That is what I do.

4 years ago

Sorry I miss spelled some things but, I was angry and typing a mile a minute.

Wow 4 years ago

Put a rubber on or don't have sex and all of this mess could be avoided. Keep your paycheck.

BS 4 years ago

Child support laws are crazy....i have to pay $170 a week for kids I am not allowed to see or talk to because my ex is an #$@. I also have 2 kids with my current take home after taxes and child support is $155 a luckily because I need to bring in more money I work a second for all who are boo hooing that you dont have money to live on get a 2nd job cause the courts dont give a damn about us that have to pay

Stephanie 4 years ago

Way to many dead beats out there point blank .

Brian 4 years ago

Women use Men and then they dump them. They say they don't need you anymore but thats crap because now you are their personal ATM until the Kids reach 21. Women always were and always will be whores.

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luckyducky1805 4 years ago

wow if a non custodial parent brings home under 100 a week why do you think he shouldn't have to pay? this is in regards to some of the insane comments on here. Both parents need to be held responsible and unfortunately the custodial parent usually gets screwed. I know so many women whos children s dead beat dads get away with never paying and get to keep almost all of their money while the other parent struggles. If your new husband is only making 86 a week then he needs to get a new job. My ex only has to pay 175 a month and owes almost 3000 is bad payments. I just received a payment of 40... You think thats right? i can buy a tank of gas and guess what he got a buy? A brand new 3DS... Yeah that seems fair

Scrooooood 4 years ago

Well, I had my day in court. 14K in back support for day care, and they are going to start taking 1400 out of my check every month. I gross too much for any sort of public assistance. They are hijacking my tax returns from here on out. I will never see my kids again at this rate. I am applying for a modification but who knows how long that will take, probably never happen. A bullet sandwich is looking really good right now, but I'm trying not to think like that.

Scrooooood 4 years ago

It's been almost three months taking care of my wife and kids on 1400 a month. Phone is shut off, cable gone, internet next. A month behind on car and utilities, just got shut off notice. The food banks are the only way we eat. Talk to my kids via work phone once every two to three weeks, briefly. No hope of ever raising enough to see them this summer or likely ever. Virginia is a long way from Washington State. Passport suspended, and they have reported me to credit bureaus for arrears being 15000 plus. IRS is intercepting returns and sending them to her.

They are treating me like a criminal, and I have done nothing wrong. If this keeps up, I'm going to lose my car. Once I lose the car, job goes next.

Anyone know what happens after I lose my job? Is it jail? That would be great, because I'd get food, cable TV, and internet again.

Working mom 3 years ago

I am a single mother with two children, the father has my two kids plus two younger kids. What i find to be so frustrating is that i get less than the other two mothers. I received 59 a month, his third child gets 89 and his 4th child gets 77 a month. Please explain to me how this happens? I also feel bad for the father, he is laid off during the winter months and he is just now starting to get unemployment. He was told that he would get 125 a week after his child support was taken out. Now they are saying that they are taking all of his unemployment and has nothing to live on. I don't feel that this is right. He does need money to feed himself, to have a roof over his head and a place where he can take his kids. Child support will not give him the answers he deserves. How much can they take so that he does still have some money to support himself also?

C2 3 years ago

Since before I was ordered to pay any child support I started paying. I was active military then and would drive back and forth 5 hours one way on weekends (not all) to see my daughter. Here in NC Streeks your disposible formula is incorrect. With DSS they took my Gross income plus BAH allowance and BAS allowance and calculated my CS amount 40% of GROSS. Again I was Active military and not able to see my daughter as much as I wanted but still the mother and I agreed to a slightly less amount than was asked. Today some 5 years later all I want to do is spend time with my daughter. Hoping I can get back some of the time I lost. So I have proposed to move back to the county where my daughter is try and get a decent job there so I can spend 1/2 the time with her. But of course this would mean no child support because she would be with me half the time. And so far DSS will not agree. All I want to do is stop missing out on my babygirls life. A personal rant.. KID SHOULDNT be a tax deduction ever. Not sharp shooting anyone but I think the CS amounts are a little step considering there are no realy ways to show that it is being spent on the child or their well being.

EC 3 years ago

I just wanted to say that common sense would tell you that no one has desposible income. It is to go somewhere. I know a man that is not educated and works hard for the little he gets. He is homeless, and sometimes goes hungry due to paying child support. He has never complained about supporting his child; however, the mother could work too. He has no where to stay, is living out of his car, and he everytime he gets summoned to the HS he is made to go give extra or all of the money he has, for gas, and food to pay extra. He is not behind and they take it out of his check. So you tell me. If the calculation is correct and he is not behind; then why do they take all of his tax check, and every few months they charge him extra that has to paid immediately. What would you do? He would love to see his child but she is living in another state. With her getting every dime extra that he can find. He cann0t even afford the gas or bus ticket or time off to go see him.

Sound fair to you?

Dub 2 years ago

Ec I've seen this believe it or not a lot of bumbs you see work everyday can't afford a meal for paying childsupport payments nor will they give them any assistance such as stamps cross income is always to high fellas remember the fruit when dilling with females don't trust them the book said it first

nichole 2 years ago

My bf pays 680 a week no matter what. He brings home $150 a week now. We have a child together now and barely get by. We also have his three kids from the marriage every single weekend. I have to pic up all the financial slack we have and the ex wife works ten hours a week at ten dollars an hour. It is nit fair at all.

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