How to Handle Spoiled Siblings

Making fun of her little brother...Kids are cute but...
Making fun of her little brother...Kids are cute but... | Source

If you ever happened to take care of siblings, your own or others', you might have had a lot of fun. However, you might as well have faced conflicts, misbehavior, and other painful issues.

Knowing how to handle spoiled siblings can change your worldview and attitude towards children in general. It may also influence your self-esteem, make you a riper personality. But everything comes with practice.

I was an au-pair girl once, taking care of two boys in a French family for about a year. This was a very fruitful and educational experience. My duties were taking them to school and bringing them back, accompanying them in their daily routine, doing home tasks with them and taking them around the city.

I am really grateful to their parents for their being helpful in this uneasy task. Here is some advice I would like to give to those who are going to work with siblings or who simply need it.

Who is the first to take a bath?
Who is the first to take a bath? | Source

You Are Authority

Are you confident enough? Unconsciously, children want security. That's what adults are for, aren't they? They will try to test you and manipulate you. Stay calm. Give directions. It's all about you managing them, not them managing you. Be firm, but be fair.

When In Fight, Separate

When two brothers are together, they may start fighting. Rivalry is quite natural. It's inscribed in the thousands of years of the human history. Sisters and brothers may fight, too. If a fight takes place, separate the kids. Place them each in a different room. And make them occupied with some activity that each of them likes most.

No, it's mine!
No, it's mine! | Source

Keep Them Busy

Conflicts often take place when children are hyperactive. If this is the case, keep them busy. Play games. Tell stories. Sing songs. Read books. Do sports. You will also do them a great favour developing their skills in their favorite activities.

Busy-busy!
Busy-busy! | Source

Say "No" More Than Once

Educating kids is all about setting limits. They will want to cross borders more than once. But they should be aware of limits. They may make a face if you say "no", but they must know about the rules. They may want an explanation. Give it to them, find good reasons. Say it's for their own security or benefit. If it doesn't work and they argue, remember - you are the authority. It's quite enough that you decided so.

Show Your Character

When they do not get what they want, spoiled siblings often show their character. They would scream, lie on the ground, run away from you, maybe even call you names. Show your character back! You have a weak character? Be an actor with a strong one! It is good if you can train in advance in front of a mirror trying different intonations and mimics. It's important that they know who the boss is.

I'm the boss!
I'm the boss! | Source

Be Emotional

There is nothing more convincing for children than emotions. If you dislike something about their behavior, say it with anger. Children are very reactive to emotions. A phrase like "How naughty of you! Can you explain why you did that?" is much more powerful when pronounced with indignation rather than in a calm way. Even saying "I'm so upset you did it" with a sad face is very effective. On the other hand, you can always praise something they did right, or appreciate their ability to share, politeness, kindness, respectfulness. Positive emotions are very stimulating. "Now, that was nice of you! Great job!" is very inspiring for a child and they would want to do it again. Remember: children are not as aware of themselves as adults. The advantage of being an adult is that you can use your emotions consciously. When properly applied, they help children become more aware of what is right and what is wrong.

Now, you upset me!
Now, you upset me! | Source

Be patient

Kids are like fertile soil. They take everything you put into them and make it grow. If you spoil them, they get spoiled. If you educate them correctly, they become self-realized, socially fit personalities. Give it time though. Your efforts will certainly pay back.

Educate yourself

Read about educating problem children and sibling rivalry, visit forums, watch education-oriented films. Talk to other parents about their kids' issues. Share your experiences. This will do you a world of good. I wish all parents and educators good luck in this uneasy yet noble task - handling spoiled siblings.

How About You?

Did you have siblings rivalry with your brothers or sisters?

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Comments 10 comments

MarleneB profile image

MarleneB 3 years ago from Northern California, USA

Excellent tips for how to handle spoiled siblings. Your tip about setting limits is, to me, the most important. I think if people start with limits, the rest can be worked around that.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 3 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York

Very interesting and informative hub regarding the sibling experience. Voted up.


Ashish 3 years ago

Ultimate tips.


avorodisa profile image

avorodisa 3 years ago from Russia Author

MarleneB, gmwilliams, Ashish,

Thank you so much for your feedback. I'm as always happy to be of help.


cashmere profile image

cashmere 3 years ago from India

Patience is what's in short supply! Great hub.


avorodisa profile image

avorodisa 3 years ago from Russia Author

cashmere, I agree. Everyone is in such a hurry so they don't seem to have enough time to raise their children!


Denise Handlon profile image

Denise Handlon 3 years ago from North Carolina

Your tips are filled with wisdom that will surely empower anyone in a parenting role, timid or not. I thought they were excellent.

Some of my favorites: "Be emotional"-how freeing is that! Most people advise on staying calm, which can easily confuse the child.

"Rivalry is quite natural"-yes, we don't learn to love what our siblings do back in our younger days b/c, frankly...we're quite uncivilized. That's why children need guidance to become civil and handle disagreements fairly. This happens with practice, fairness, and age.

"You are the authority"-I cannot tell you how many parents in our society today withdraw from their responsibilities of setting limits and being the authority. Instead, they let the kids run the show.

Rated up/u/a/I Very well said, and I am sure that your experience was very valuable. :)


avorodisa profile image

avorodisa 3 years ago from Russia Author

Thank you, Denise! I truly appreciate your feedback)))


Tracy Lynn Conway profile image

Tracy Lynn Conway 3 years ago from Virginia, USA

You have made many great points here that many parents could learn from. Well done! It seems parents either don't know what their role is or are sometimes too busy to take the time to figure it out. Voted up!


avorodisa profile image

avorodisa 3 years ago from Russia Author

Tracy Lynn, thank you for the feedback! I guess most of the time parents are busy making their career, but often they are just not ready to face the responsibility of being a parent.

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