How to Teach Your Child to Value Good Behavior
Your children misbehave because they want to convey message that they are important too. According to Rudolf Dreikurs, misbehavior may fall under one of the four categories below:
- Children misbehave because they want to obtain attention. Your children are attempting to have a sense of belonging and they are trying to extract your attention to them, or in other words, they wanted to get noticed.
- Children misbehave because they want to obtain attention. Your children are trying to be important to you and would want to acquire sense of belonging by drawing the attention to them, in other words they wanted that their presence is felt.
- Children misbehave as a form of retaliation. Children this way tries to avenge for the lack of importance or loss of sense of belonging.
- Children misbehave because of they perceive their inadequacies or low self-worth. Children react this way because of perceived loss of importance and as a result they will simply give up.
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Keep in mind that children that misbehave imply that he or she is discouraged and his or her self-esteem already decimated. To solve this problem you must able to provide your children with tender encouragement. Motivation to enable them to get rid of bad behaviors should be done in amicable, caring and respectful manner especially when the misbehavior displayed by the children is caused by retaliation or perceived inadequacy.
Stern punishments will just make the problems worse as it will trample their rights and dignity and will just sow resentments and revenge and/or will let them have the feeling of worthlessness.
On the other hand too much reward will also thump their dignity and inhibits lack of trust.
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