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How to Stop Young Kids From Whining

Updated on June 13, 2007

Whining has got to be right up there on the parents' list of annoying things our kids do. When it comes to whining, it's better to have a plan because if you don't, you're likely to do anything to make it stop and that could include giving in to some pretty outlandish demands.

Pleeeeeze let me eat the chocolate bunny for breakfast.

Pleeeeeze can I have a pony.

Pleeeeeze buy me car/house/yacht.

Break the whining habit while they're young and you'll be happier later.

Stop the Whining

When your child first begins to whine, it's what you call a teaching moment, but not for the child - for you! Our children teach us many things and this time it's patience. A few minutes of extra attention can nip whining in the bud so that you don't end up later with a situation you need to nip in the butt. Diversion works for toddlers and snacks are among the best distracters I know. Who can be upset with a mouthful of Goldfish?

Some toddlers don't know they're whining. If you whine back at them you may just hit them off guard enough to make it stop. But don't count on it. You've got to be patient and correct each whining request with the proper way to ask for something. I like the honest and straightforward approach.

I can't understand you when you whine. Please speak in a normal voice.

Stand Your Ground

It's all in the follow-through. In other words, talk is cheap and consistency is key. If you say you can't understand the child, but then you comply with the whiny request you're defeated. Keep repeating your wishes until the child speaks in a normal tone. You will only have to go over and over it the first few times. Once the child understands you're serious, she will adjust - if you're lucky. The younger you start the better.

Ignoring a whining child is not going to scar her for life. If the request or complaint were urgent she'd be screaming instead of whining. You can always send her to her room. Stand up for yourself and just say no to whining!

Why Do They Whine?

If it's so darn annoying, why do they do it? Kids generally begin to whine as toddlers. It's a natural response to the overwhelming feeling of being out of control. They're just starting to figure out all the cool stuff their bodies can do as well as all the fascinating things in their environment and then BAM - it's no, no, no to everything. Without the vocabulary to articulate emotions, especially frustration, toddlers resort to whining. Plus, it's effective. It doesn't take them long to figure out that you'll do just about anything to make it stop.

Reinforce the Positive

The flip side of correcting whining is to make sure you acknowledge good behavior when it occurs. We cannot praise our children too much as long as it is genuine. Your praise should reinforce the behaviors you want repeated. Asking for something in a pleasant tone of voice is something that will serve your child forever. Do your part and teach your child not to whine, not only for your own sanity, but for her sake as well.

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