I Need More Followers

I need more followers.
I need more followers.
This is dedicated to everyone who follows me!
This is dedicated to everyone who follows me!
The system works!
The system works!
Woo hoo!
Woo hoo!
I still need more followers!
I still need more followers!
Wooo Hoo!! 500!!
Wooo Hoo!! 500!!

More Followers I Need

I Need More Followers. If you already follow me, go get a family member. I care about you, but if you bring me more fans I'll care about you even more. If you're not yet following me, please read on as I explain how important you are to me.

Some hubbers have upwards of 1000 followers. According to FactMonster.com:

"Each NFL team is allowed to have 53 players on its roster (plus a five-player practice squad). The NFL has 32 teams, making a total of 1,696 players. "

Therefore a hubber with 1000 followers has an organization that is 58.96% of the average National Football League. That's impressive.

I want that.

I Want More Followers than Congress People

The Congress of the United States consists of 100 Senators and 435 Representatives. I want more. I will not rest until I have at least 536 HubPages followers. Then I will rest a little. I will stop and smell the roses while enjoying a mocha latte with light foam.

Together we can do this.

I Want More Followers than I have Credit Cards

Last year the average American human received 623 free offers for credit cards. I want at least that many followers; we can all get credit cards with our faces on them. We can all go to Starbucks together and charge luscious biscotti.

This hubber has way too many followers
This hubber has way too many followers

I Want More HubPages Fans than Hubber Henry

I mean, really, the guy is just way too existential to be taken seriously. Who actually reads his stuff?

We all like him. He's the life of the party at HubCon. He lets us fish in his pond. He's just not worthy of massive fannage.

You Need Motivation to Follow Me?

Join the teeming throngs, the huddled masses, the caffeine-fueled reading rainbow maniacs who charge out of bed each morning knowing they belong to something worldwide. Be a part of something. Don't stand on the sidelines wondering what everyone's discussing 'round the water cooler. Jump in with both feet. Be all you can be. Make me all that I can be. Let's be something together.

Act Now Before It's Too Late

Very soon I will be closing by account to new followers. My aura can handle a limited number of sycophants. Don't miss out. You may wake up one morning and look back wistfully on what might have been. You could have been a member of my Hub Posse. The water is warm and the tide is high.

You must choose, but choose wisely.

More by this Author


Comments 53 comments

nicomp profile image

nicomp 5 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Kii_Love: You first.


Wykila 5 years ago

Follow Me @Kii_Love... I'll Follow Back...


patdmania profile image

patdmania 6 years ago from waterford, mi

I have 9 followers. I will have to get a few more hubs up and going. Thanks, you made me feel a little better about not having any friends. LOL


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@patdmania: Your followers to hubs ratio is higher than mine! I'm jealous!


patdmania profile image

patdmania 6 years ago from waterford, mi

I am looking to get more followers. I follow a lot of people. I don't have nearly as many followers. I will start to follow anyone who follows me.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Today I am 500 strong! Thanks to you all!!


ryankett 6 years ago

UP TO 348 FOLLOWERS!!! RIGHT ON NICOMP, YOUR NEARLY A HEAVYWEIGHT!!!!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@nearbuystore.com: Nice rings.


nearbuystore.com profile image

nearbuystore.com 6 years ago from Somewhere on the highway....

I have a problem only 3 fans :( i dont go finding people to fan me though..you seem to have done something right


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@me: Up to 336 followers!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Update: since publishing this screed my Hub Entourage has enjoyed a 10% increase. To all of you who have jumped on my bandwagon - thanks!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@me: Up to 312 followers! The system works.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@ryankett: sounds good.


ryankett 6 years ago

I only came on here to give your hubs and read and join your fanclub, clearly a mistake. I wont trouble you again nicomp, dont worry.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@ryankett: Fine. You win. You're Martin Scorsese, I'm Roger Corman. Have a nice day!


ryankett 6 years ago

And I love you too nicomp, I have loved you ever since you decided that I was satans spawn, whenever that was. Having a life outside of hubpages, lol thats a joke, coming from somebody who has published more hubs than me and used to post on the forums on a daily basis. My dry wit has seen me published in quite a few American magazines mate, although you dont generally consider Florida to be America of course - they are far too happy and layed back I suppose. Best wishes, Ryan xx


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Sigh. For those of you who have a life outside HubPages, the preceding was brought to you by a hubber who fancies herself a master of dry wit. It's funny to her when she writes it. Don't take it seriously.


ryankett 6 years ago

Charming, you have the social skills of a knat on heroin, its not like you didn't leave utter tripe on my hubs for weeks. This hub is pretty poor anyway, it serves no purpose other than to allow you to wax your ego, I learnt nothing - there are 500,000 much more informative hubs. I will never get that 30 seconds of my life back.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@ryankett: Whatever.


ryankett 6 years ago

I will follow you again, on the basis that you have stopped writing sarcastic statements on my (very successful) hubs ;)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Niteriter: Only a trustworthy Hubber such as myself could have so many followers. ;)


Niteriter profile image

Niteriter 6 years ago from Canada

I agreed to become your fan a while back there, nicomp, but somehwere along the way you hornswoggled me into becoming your follower. How can I trust you to not pull some other such flim flam on my friends?


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@TnFlash: Thanks be to you for remaining my follower. Should you desire additional Pomegranate resources, check out my Pomegranate compendium.


TnFlash profile image

TnFlash 6 years ago from Tampa, Florida

Funny article! I'm already a follower and they won't let me sign up twice. Do you know a good affiliate program for selling pomegranate juice online?


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

Yay! :)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Today is a good day to follow.

302!

Yay!


ripplemaker profile image

ripplemaker 6 years ago from Cebu, Philippines

I am following you nicomp! You can't miss me...I'm riding my hubmobile hahahaha


dusanotes profile image

dusanotes 6 years ago from Windermere, FL

I wish I was only half as successful as you, nicomp. You have some 300 followers, I have 75. Good luck in attracking a crowd. Don White


Esrom Art profile image

Esrom Art 6 years ago from Indonesia

Yes, you are funny. I love what you write. You already have many followers. I am a new hubber and did not have even one follower. I am waiting someone become my follower. You are a lucky hubber.


hypnodude profile image

hypnodude 6 years ago from Italy

I'll follow you if you follow me. :)

I can't lower my hubscore following too many hubbers. :):)


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Springboard: Sounds like a topic for a new hub...


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Aya Katz: yer preachin' to the choir!


Springboard profile image

Springboard 6 years ago from Wisconsin

Shall I consider myself indoctrinated? I hope this isn't going to be like one of those rides that flails and whirls and sends its rider straight to say goodbye to the corn dog he ate earlier which he suddenly regrets now.


Aya Katz profile image

Aya Katz 6 years ago from The Ozarks

Nicomp, you are so right. We can never have too many followers. We should encourage all our followers to have large families so that their children and their children's children will also follow us. We should have as many followers as grains of sand on the beach or stars in the heavens...


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Nicks: I don't think you get the joke.


TattoGuy 6 years ago

Always a fan under all my egos lol !


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@OpinionDuck: if you know where I can get some ruth, let me know.


OpinionDuck profile image

OpinionDuck 6 years ago

Clever and ruthless at the same time. Bravo


Jane@CM profile image

Jane@CM 6 years ago

Follow me where I go....remember that song?

I'm glad I already follow you, this was made me giggle!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@greatAmerican: tomorrow I will have them all selling pomegranate juice online.


greatAmerican profile image

greatAmerican 6 years ago

Followers today, Fans yesterday, and then

there is tomorrow?? "The shadow knows"


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@Hal Licino: What a relief. I thought cats had learned to ride Harleys.


Hal Licino profile image

Hal Licino 6 years ago from Toronto

I have to admit that I've been following you for a long time now. I usually hide out behind the bushes by your bedroom window and like to peek in through the shades while you're having your oats in the morning. I wish you'd stop watching Jimmy Fallon as he is talentless and I can't stay up that long. I'll keep following you everywhere you go. Forever! :)


mpurcell10 profile image

mpurcell10 6 years ago from Arkansas

Your to funny. We will have to get you more followers.


fishtiger58 profile image

fishtiger58 6 years ago from Momence, Illinois

Way funny just what I needed this morning and by the way I am already following you.


Its Angel profile image

Its Angel 6 years ago from Charleston, SC

too funny can't get me, I already follow you, its why I do I don't understand......:)


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

I devour potato chips -that's what I do !


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

@itakins: I cannot be un-followed. I'm like potato chips. ;)


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

Don't get too smug -you're on a trial basis;)(joke)just in case you are exceptionally sensitive,which I doubt.


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

Up 3 followers... a 1% increase!


nicomp profile image

nicomp 6 years ago from Ohio, USA Author

You both need to follow me. ;)


itakins profile image

itakins 6 years ago from Irl

Maybe an anti-inlammatory along with the anti-histamine-try it for 10 days -should work.


lmmartin profile image

lmmartin 6 years ago from Alberta and Florida

You need anti-histamines for that swollen ego. I'm sure it's only a temporary reaction.

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