If My Husband is Mr. Mom, What Does That Make Me?
I'm a mom. I work full time. Never thought those two things were contradictory. My husband is a dad. He stays home with our two kids. It's an arrangement that works best for our family.
While this family dynamic isn't new, we still get comments from time to time. My favorite came a few months back when someone called my husband "Mr. Mom." We laughed it off at the time, but ever since then, I haven't quite been able to shake that comment from my mind.
At first I thought about what that comment meant for my husband and how it made him feel. I sensed the implication that staying at home was only for "moms" and all the sexist baggage that carries with it.
But, then I started hearing the unspoken implications in that moniker. If my husband is Mr. Mom, what does that make me? Hmmmm, last I checked I was still Mom! Just because I work, in no way means I'm not still mom. Just ask my kids - they will certainly not be confused on which one of us is "mom" and which one of us is "dad".
I'm sure the person that made the comment never gave it a second thought. But, I've thought a lot about it. Working moms face enough challenges, let's not start implying that their very position as "mom" is at stake. I hold a lot of titles - wife, sister, daughter, friend, neighbor - but mom is not a title I am every going to give up! Don't think you can take that one away from me and give it to my husband because of the way we have chosen to provide and care for our children.
So, let's stop this pathetic attempt at humor of calling stay-at-home-dads "Mr. Mom". Dad will always be dad. And, mom will always be mom. Our division of duties will never change this. I am proud of my family and my contributions, as mom, to my wonderful family. I will hold steadfast to my title as Mom and I will come home at the end of a hard day and kiss Dad and the kids hello.
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