Inside the Life of a Mother and her Teen Addict

Shhh, just don't talk about it

 This is probably going to be the hardest thing I have ever written, for I have never written it anywhere.  It was part of my subconcious denial.  To any parent who has a child as an addict my prayers are with you and don't give in.

Who would of Thunk It

My daughter I will call Marie was an exceptional child. Smart Intuitive, curious with a personality that was unmatchable. She started school when she was 4. I had originally tested her for pre-K but she tested high enough to go on to kindergarten. By Second grade Marie was put in the Academically Gifted Program where she did more work and it was at a higher level. All students in the AGP were sent to one school, where they spent everyday, every class together until she would reach High School.

I was hesitant about it as first because the the classroom was small and very few minorities. I guess they picked the rich hopefuls and then the real smart ones. That was the always the rumor anyway. I figured well if the parent's are smart and well behaved then so will the kids> huh?

When Marie was 7 I put her in baseball. She was a natural and good at it. She had always preferred outside and riding bikes with the boys that staying inside p laying with dolls. In her 7th year of ball she was an Al-Star. She kept the same coach for 7 years upon my request. He was making a hell of a ball player out of her. She played first base the first seven years, and she was feared. By the time she turned 15 she had started playing fast pitch and with a coach became a great picture and pitched every game every inning. This is when she tore her rotator cuff at 15. It was at the end of the season so she was at least happy to have a while to heal before it was time to play again.

Marie had surgery and more prescriptions of pain killers I have never seen one Orthopedist give someone so young, so much. She was on the pain killers for 6 moths.

That fall Marie started High School and suddenly went back to practice. She could no longer pitch but she held her first base position until she graduated. Marie was taking AP courses, which are college prep, and in her sophomore year she scored high enough to take evening college classes which she did around ball season.

You would have thought that it would have occurred to me that Marie was taking Honors Classes, spent endlesss hours on homework, college courses, going to the gym and working a part time job that that was just too much for one person to handle. Marie disagreed and kept going through school like a breeze. She never felt no pain, I never wondered I was just thankful. Little did I know, her AG friends supplied her with pain pills for 3 years. It was so easy to find, everyone trusted her and never thought she would abuse them, so they say. If Maire told her coach her shoulder was hurting, he would give her something if it was before a game.

My Beautiful smart daughter was an addict.

Admitting it

When my sister died of opiate abuse I would have thought that Marie would not have touched that crap in a million years. It does not discriminate.

This is when I intervened. I went to her orthopedist and threatened a law suit for prescribing narcotics to an underage patient while the parent wasn't there and he wrote a note asking the school board for her to take leave of absence for 6 months,praying it would work. Time was wasting, she was losing her life both physically, mentally and her education was going to suffer as well.

With Marie's AP credits and credits from college her leave of absence was granted. She went to school twice a week to pick up her work, she was not allowed to play on the baseball team but remained a uniformed member. She could play her senior year.

I immediately got on the phone and the Internet looking for an intervention program or a rehab or someone to give me answers. Everywhere I called recommended I take her to a Methadone clinic and they would wean her off. Sounded good, sounded simple. I called the closest clinic an hour and a half a away to set up an appointment. Once arriving they took a urine test from Marie to make sure she did have opiates in her system, told them about how much she took a day and spoke with a social Worker for 15 minutes. They then asked for 300.00 cash and gave Marie a does of Methadone as her daily dose. It was twice the amount she was used to taking. For 4 and a half months I woke up every morning at 5 am, packed up the baby and took Marie to the clinic an hour and a half giving them 20 dollars for her daily dose. She couldn't drive, she would nod off in a matter of minutes and this continued for weeks.

As a last result I talked with my MD and he told me this was almost a money making scam and if she continued, she would die. Die, she would die. He recommended me to a Doctor in another town that prescribed a drug called Suboxone that helps with cravings and acts as an opiate blocker.

I got her to that doctor and in order for her to start the new medication she had to be in withdrawal. So we had to go home and wait for two days until she was in full withdrawl then come back and get her prescription.

The longest three Days of My Life

Marie was bound and determined that she was not going to purposely go into withdrawal just to get medication. As much as she wanted her life back, withdrawal was so bad she would tell me. I never witnessed it until then but I had noticed mood swings and her just feeling sick. The next few days would be probably the worse I have ever had. To watch your daughter sweat bead of sweat while freezing and throwing up, cramps. It was if I had to treat her like a baby. I bathed her, held her, let her scream, cry, we prayed and after three days and no leep we both went back to the doctor for her medicine. Marie was way enough into withdrawal that the suboxone would take fect soon. It made her withdrawal symtpons subside. She became more active and started to get back in shape. She was my old Marie again. She is doing well now, I know that it is an everyday battle for her and I refuse to give up on her having a happy life mostly continuing her education.

Marie finished high school six moths earlier than the students in her class. Along with the leave of absence and the drug addiction she never let her grades drop or her baseball skills be effected. i think they helped her, more energy etc. If there is one thing I can thank God for it is that she didn't give up and never let anyone get her down.

She leaves in 2 weeks for her second semester at WFU. She is there on a full academic and athletic scholarship. I am so proud of her hard work and proud to say she is my daughter, a Recovered Addict at age 20.

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Comments 37 comments

fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Queen,

thanks for your comments, I don't feel like a great mother sometimes but I will def. stand up my girls. no doubt. I don't let either one of them go to the doctor alone or without telling me anymore, I don't care how old they are. I can trust my girls to an extent but not a prescription pad.

hugs

dori


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Sandra,

yea I do too!! 3year old..

It is scary and I do take blame for not recognizing the symptoms but the doctor just kept giving them to her although I was not there to say no. I took care of him, trust me I think he moved out of the county.

dori


sandra rinck 7 years ago

OMG, my eyes teared up. I am soo happy she is well and off to college. You are an awesome mother no matter what. Good mothers would never let their children fall away without a good fight.

I suppose it was particularly touching because I have a 3 year old, going on 4 who is so smart. So much smarter then the other kids her age and I pray sometimes that she never goes down that path.

Amazing story and I love happy endings. :D


Queen_Kevyn95 profile image

Queen_Kevyn95 7 years ago

i am so glad you shared this story, you seem like you are an exceptional mother. i hope that i can be as smart and supportive as you are to your daughter someday!

i am so sorry to hear that you had to go through that, i am sure you are aware that you'd done nothing wrong. you must be such a great mother!


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

All I can do is try to be the best mother I can and support her as much as possible. Thanks all for the comments

dori


Moonchild60 profile image

Moonchild60 7 years ago

Wow, powerful story but thankfully, a happy ending. Doctors and mostly, US, all of us, have to be more aware and involved in the choice of drugs that are given and received. Even my father, who was 72, was given pain killers and we were convinced he became addicted to them. He constantly claimed to be in pain even when doctors could find nothing wrong with him. There is no age limit. Having gone through drug addiction with my 20 year old son as well (from 17-19 yrs of age), I know how frightening it is. I still worry about him relapsing. Sometimes I get flashbacks of what I went through at that time (when he crashed his car into a tree and managed to walk away for example) and when I do, I call his cell phone frantically and ask where he is and when he'll be home. He understands why I occasionally get like this and tries hard to calm me and let me know exactly what he is doing and when he will be back. Clearly, the psychological toll this takes on the parent is extensive and long lasting as well.


bingskee profile image

bingskee 7 years ago from Quezon City, Philippines

what a story. i hope i can be as strong as you if ever i face a situation as difficult and as trying as this. this is such an inspiration.


ismail 7 years ago


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Kcc

yea I just left, i mean u should be cautious if you suspect it but i guess they will have to walk in my shoes to understand. Thanks so much.

dori


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

John,

Thanks for stopping by, you are much missed, i know you kid alot and so do I but this happens everyday. Just imagine me being pto president, my child and honor student and star ball player and the whole time she was addicted to loracet. You can't help someone who doesn't want to be helped, in this case Marie did. They will have to hit rock bottom, and sometimes in my sisters case it is 6 feet under. My thoughts are with you and stop by more often. Your wit is very missed.

dori


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

kids are first,

u don't know me you have no right to say those things, i am not stupid I know who you are, don't say mean things like that, I did the best I could. too bad you are too scared to show your real identity. This is cruel and exactly exactly why I hate unregited users or enemies that just log in with a different address. uggg

dori see thats my name what's your kid are first and perfect.


marcofratelli profile image

marcofratelli 7 years ago from Australia

Dori, I can tell you've been through hell and back just having to witness your daughter like that. Even harder since you had already seen what it did to your sister. This hub will help a lot of people in the same situation. Like you said, if it only helps one person, it'll be worth it. (It's raw emotional writing like this that sometimes acts as a wake up call for someone else). Thanks


your pal 7 years ago

drugs waste many good people. I kid about my own intake and damage but many of my friends and family have gone down a path I can't follow, I can only go forward, and sadly knowing I am letting them essentially die, eats at me. It takes some guts to write this, but it takes more to be there and not judge, to honestly help her to be the daughter and woman she envisioned herself to be.

john


kids are first 7 years ago

all's well that ends well. what else can be said....it shouldn't be at the first place. mother should monitor her kids medication, kids are kids, they don't know. long ago my mother had a trauma and was prescribed all this strong stuff. she was using those drugs just for a couple weeks, to get her going, then switched to exstra strength Tylenol. my brother-in-law, a cancer patient was using oxycodone rarely, going on the same extra strength tylenol. the one who really cares about wellness should think ahead. especially parents. sorry that i'm hard on you, you don't deserve it probably, but it should be a lesson for others. you are brave to share this story.

i wish all the best to you and to your daughter.


wordscribe41 7 years ago

Ver powerful story. You are, indeed an excellent mother to support her and act as her advocate as you did. I am very impressed. I'm in recovery myself, so I know how important it is to have even one person who loves you unconditionally. My hat is off to you, so glad Marie is doing so well now. Thanks for sharing this difficult, but VERY important story.


KCC Big Country profile image

KCC Big Country 7 years ago from Central Texas

I remember seeing your reaction in the forum and how others thought you shouldn't be so nosy. It certainly makes sense now. And you're right....as a mother, we owe it to our kids to look after their well-being in the best way we know how. You're a great mom.


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Teresa, that was crazy why would someone do that, don't worry I will delete.

dori


bdr173 profile image

bdr173 7 years ago from Colorado

I am glad this had a happy ending Dori. I am reading these articles as part of my education into the life of a teenager in this day and age. I have a pre-teen and I am just horrified of what these young kids have to go through. I recently took my daughter to the Dr regarding a monthly issue and they wanted to subscribe her Vicodin for her extreme pain each month. I was not going for that. And we worked on a different plan, but its scary to think your kids can become addicts to prescribed drugs.


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

(erm. . . should I be flattered that li7218 copied and pasted my comment in its entirety?)


Mighty Mom profile image

Mighty Mom 7 years ago from Where Left is Right, CA

Have to echo what advisor4qb said. We somehow find the strength as mothers to deal with the craziest things when it comes to our children! Although difficult and traumatic, your story does appear to have a happy ending (or at least a happy TODAY). So glad to hear your daughter didn't suffer academically or in her sports. That's great. And kudos to you, Mom. Well, well done. Hugs from another mom who's been right there in the trenches. (((FORTUNEREP))) xo, MM


advisor4qb profile image

advisor4qb 7 years ago from On New Footing

Dori,

What an inspiring story. How proud she should be of herself that she kicked that habit. I'm sure she learned her lesson. I can only imagine what you must have gone through. It's amazing to me how we find the strength as mothers to deal with the craziest things when it comes to our children. Thanks for sharing.


John Chancellor profile image

John Chancellor 7 years ago from Tennessee

Dori,

I know that took a lot of courage to share with the world. But I am sure you feel better for having shared. I do hope that your experience can be a warning/guiding light to other mothers.

I know that too many parents get too caught up in the turmoil of living that it becomes far too easy to miss the tell-tale signs.

As a society we have come to believe in the magic of the pill - and we have far too many people hooked on prescription medications.

Thanks for sharing - it should be a powerful lesson for all.


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

i wouldn't say wonderful mother. If I was that wonderful maybe it wouldn't have gotten so bad. I have no self pity but will always wonder. Thanks for dropping by,

dori


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

thanks Theresa,

there is nothing i would not do for them, being a singel parent it is hard but they are growing and I am proud. It seems like when you get one thing in your life under control something else slips up, I think I learn something new everyday, if it wasn't for the rain, the flowers wouldn't grow.

dori


Teresa McGurk profile image

Teresa McGurk 7 years ago from The Other Bangor

You are a wonderful, wonderful mother to take such care of your lovely daughter. She is lucky to have you; and you are indeed lucky to have such a fine and determined daughter. It is shameful that "trusted" professionals would do such harm to those they are supposed to care for. Good for you for sticking to your guns and finding the best treatment for your daughter; and thank you for sharing this difficult story: you will help others in this situation, and for that you are truly blessed.


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Cali Granny, Sometimes sadly it does come to that, and yes they need no pushers they have doctors. Three have already been run out of this town becuase of that, wonder how that happened? Hope you son is well and continues, I am scared of her having a relapse and a little over protective but she has set up meetings in the town were she is going to college na,aa, as many as she can fit into. My thougts are with you,

dori


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Organic Thoughts,

Talking openly about it is hard, for me not her. I feel some way I done something wrong, but that's just me. I have come to realize that the more open you are about things such as this, the more help and support you rec. and maybe it will make somebody think. Thanks for your thoughtful comment. I am really the cowardly lion but life toughens you up sometimes.

dori


California Grammy 7 years ago

This story is very inspirational and I only wish I had seen it 5 years ago.

You see my son also became addicted to prescription drugs, well after he was an adult. He was married with two children of his own and working hard to support them all. He hurt his back, was prescribed pain medication and that began it all.

Today? Well today he sober, has been for just over 2 years, and he is an active member of our community and a loving divorced father of two. But all of this came with a cost that could have been much worse. Before he got here he had to go through 4 re-habs (at his request and with his own funds). The problem was he needed more than 28 days at a time to bring him to complete sobriety. That came 2 years later with a prison sentence of 13months.

One might think that would be devastating but it was a god sent intervention that saved my sons life.

Our medical community MUST become more concerned with patients they prescribe these highly addictive drugs to, stay in contact with them and follow their other medications. Pharmacists also need to be held responsible but before any of this can be possible all patients MUST be on a electronic file base that gives ALL doctors and pharmacists information most addicted patients won't give; the names of all medications being taken at any given time.

Had this been in place my son would not have been able to get the drugs so openly by professionals. He didn't need a pusher, he had a doctor.

As a parent of an ADULT addict all I can say is they never grow up and they are always your little boy or your little girl in pain and you want to fix it. I know now I could never "fix" it, he had to but we went through it all with him and today he thanks us for our honesty with him. We asked him to leave the family until he could get a hold of his life. His lying and stealing was more than any of us would have thought possible from him and only "hard love" would turn him around (or not), but we DID support him. It may sound rough but truly by stopping the enabling began his healing process. Yes it was ugly for a while, but it's beautiful now.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for your honesty.


Organic Thoughts profile image

Organic Thoughts 7 years ago from North Carolina

Truly an inspiring story. It takes a lot of courage to rise up to these circumstances. But, I think it takes more courage to talk openely about it and share your experiences. Your story will surely give strength, insight and support to many other parents faced with the same situation. Cheers!!! to your internal strength and kudos!!! to your wonderful daughter for fighting back and taking control of her life.


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Shame,

you are alwys there to leave such uplifting comments. You are right God was there for her and he gives me patience. He as no choice! Thanks again for stopping by, you are indeed a loyal person,

dori


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Gold Post: Thanks for stopping by, what inspired me to even write this and let my life just be an open book was last wekk when someone posted a thread on the forum that they thought their child was doing drugs, I approached the post very aggressively and said check her pants, do what you have to do. You would have thought that I told them to do a cavity search, no no no you can't do that, you have to be careful someone said, they are teen they are going to try it. Tears filled my eyes thinking that what if your child was, you can't let it pass it is not a phase. You have to be the parent and intervene. As parents we are responsible sometimes not only for our mistakes but your children's. I am no fool, I seen what drugs do. If I thought Marie was relapsing, damn right she would be searched, wherever necessary.


shamelabboush profile image

shamelabboush 7 years ago

God for sure helped Marie and had been kind to her, but there is another element which is your patience and your support... She's lucky to have you and you to have her :) I wish her the best.


GoldCoastAnnie profile image

GoldCoastAnnie 7 years ago from Gold Coast, Australia

Powerful story and one every parent should read. It happened by a twist of fate, and it can happen to anyone. Very inspirational that she is now recovered and you are very brave to share this. Thank you.


fortunerep profile image

fortunerep 7 years ago from North Carolina Author

Thanks John, It was hard but worth it. It is what we have to do.

sempro no mattter what you are always there, with such inspirational words and advice, thanks for that

Jenny, Thanks for stopping by, As always as I share my personal stories I hope it helps someone. if just one.

dori


Jenny30 profile image

Jenny30 7 years ago from Canada

Sorry to hear about what happened to your daughter but glad to know that she is now a recovered addict. She must be so thankful to have a great mother like you to help her every the step of the way! Thanks for sharing this story. Its a great comfort to many.


SEM Pro profile image

SEM Pro 7 years ago from North America

Whew - you are a very strong, strong, strong woman dori! I've helped many addicts through withdrawal and cannot even imagine for a moment, what it would have been like if it had been my daughter :( Please, add an extra warm hug and squeeze to Chelsi for me too - what an accomplishment! My heart goes out to you both


dohn121 profile image

dohn121 7 years ago from Hudson Valley, New York

This is an amazing story, fortunerep. I can see why you love her so much. Thank you for sharing this.

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