It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time
I was a jackass before the show was popular
and was pulling stupid stunts way before those guys were probably even born. I remember growing up watching show like "Thrill Seekers" and watched the "Agony of Defeat" on the Wide World of Sports. Nothing on those shows would compare to the lapse of judgement I had one late fall night at the age of sixteen.
While out one night running with some friends we stumbled upon a shopping cart. So while doing the usual goofball stuff like bounce friends off of curbs while in the shopping basket. I had the monumental idea of getting into the shopping basket and go down the steep hill that was the asphalt covered street.
So I stuff all six feet of myself into the basket of this shopping cart, with the typical wobblely front left wheel. I had two of my friend wheel me to the edge of the street's hill. I remember looking down this hill thinking, "Oh, man this is going to be so cool." That thought soon left my head once my buddies gave me the good ole fashioned bobsled, down hill start off. WaaaaaHoooooo! Downhill I started, soon fishtailing with thanks to the shaky front left wheel and no way of steering.
Suddenly the took the inevitable spin-out half gaynor flip. Ejecting me in such a manor that left me on the outside of the cart with some skinning and road rash. That was not the worst of it. You see my right ankle decided to stay with the cart in such away that my ankle snapped. As the cart and I rolled, flipped, skidded, melded and mashed...kinda like Evel Knievel at the Caesars Palace foutnains. Jim McKay would have been proud to witness this one. Finally, I came to a skidding stop with thanks to a car parked in the street.
As my compadres ran to my mangled bloody rescue and separated me and the cart, they realized that this may take more than me just "walking it off" or laughing about how f'n cool that was. So, they helped me up and with their help I hopped towards home. My mind raced to come up with a story on how this happened, without me coming off sounding like I am an idot. Fat chance!
So needless to say my mom got me to the hospital ER really without much lecturing, and cursing. But the ride home would prove less ummm...understanding. Thankfully for the pain medicine and my dozing off...I don't remember her full "What the hell were you doing...?" speech. But I do remember much of the pain I did experience from my good idea at the time.
I can say I never did anything quite like that ever again. Ok, maybe I did many other good ideas, but nothing quite like that, again.
Joe Satriani "Surfing with the Alien"
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