Jaycee Dugard....................my Heart Aches

My heart aches

As I look at the new picture of Jaycee Dugard, a happy smiling young woman, in the new People magazine, I can't help but feel heartache. I can honestly say I hope neither mother nor daughter reads this hub, because I just want to pour out my heart concerning this situation.

I won't go into the particulars about the case, because they've been covered well enough. But here's what I'd like to say.

Looking at all the photos of Ms. Dugard, nothing betrays the heartache and pain she, nor her parents went through, and I'm glad. However, my heart aches..................it aches when I think of all the years she and her mother were deprived of each other. I have two adult daughters and I can remember all of their memorable moments, between 11 and the age they are now. Jaycee's age is between both of their ages. Because I am a mother's mother, I shared all of my daughters moments between 11, and the present, as I feel Jaycee's mother would have done.

For instance, to put it delicately, when both my daughters, physically became women, these were precious moments for us to share. As they began to develop womanly bodies, we shared these things, both with delight, and dismay at times, but we shared. I must leave this part now, as they are going to be mortified that I even mentioned this. My heart aches, for the Dugard women because they missed this time in their lives.

Let me interject at this point. As I said, I don't want the Dugard women to read this, however, those of you who have daughters 11, and over, and go through life nonchalantly, giving no thought to the everyday happenings in their lives, STOP NOW! Take a second look, make uneventful moments, eventful. What did she do today? Did she run in from school with some new gossip, a good grade or bad, or even a broken nail? Make it an event. Oh, most mothers celebrate big events, birthdays, proms, first boyfriends, etc, but some of my most memorable moments with my daughters were none of these. You see, the seemingly mundane events are to be cherished just as much or even more.

Some memorable moments with my daughters

I have loads of pictures, from our 35mm camera, but I don't know how to import them to the computer at this time, but when I do I'll insert them in this hub. I digress.

Could Jaycee have been a spelling bee champ? I remember one of my then 11 year old daughters, I'll leave names out at this point, won the spelling bee championship for her school. The moment I heard about it, I ran out, had a banner made, and had a family party ready when she arrived home from school. I say I heard, because I could not go to the finals, because I was too nervous to go, I sent my husband. I had been with her all the way up to that point, and almost gave us both heart attacks. You see Jaycee's mother will never know that moment, so that's why I say my heart aches when I think of it.

I got to see one of my daughters, who's now in the medical profession, begin that career in high school. I would take time to visit her, and sometimes "do lunch," with her, where ever she was volunteering during her training..........in hospitals, doctor's offices, etc. Those are some cherished moments, that I can clearly recall. Could Jaycee have been a nurse or even a doctor? My heart aches for them, you see her mother will never have the pleasure of such moments.

When my daughters graduated from junior high school to high school, I even remember what each of them wore, without looking at the photos. Thinking of the Dugard women, my heart aches, for they can never say that. I feel Mrs. Dugard would have gone shopping with Jaycee and picked out that special dress, and both would have celebrated, when they found it.

Oh, how many times did I have to go to school because my daughter talked too much, as my mother had done with me in years past, for the same thing. How many times did I attend school assemblies, even if they only were just clapping their hands, or singing some silly song, in a silly costume on stage, it didn't matter, I was there. As, I feel, Jaycee's mother would have been. You see why my heart aches for them.

I was booster club mother for both of my daughters...............memorable moments. I was room mother, I went on field trips,( I was self employed at the time, so I made my own schedule). I could go on and on. I feel Jaycee's mother would have done these things with her, now that time has passed. My heart aches for those times that they'll never know. If I took time to pen all of the uneventful moments we made eventful, it would be a very long book, boring to some, but nevertheless, a book of our special moments. This is not to massage my ego, or to build myself up in the eyes of others, no, I'm simply, reminiscing and sharing my feelings, of the moment, on the much discussed subject, of Jaycee Dugard, and her years away from her family.


Recap

As usual, I'd like to offer my unsolicited advice to all mothers of daughters of any age, but in light of what happened to the Dugard women, my advice is especially targeted to the mothers of daughters beginning around 11 years old. To begin with, 11 is the typical age of a sixth grader, and in most school systems, the transitioning from elementary school to junior school.

There are so many opportunities to make memories of seemingly uneventful events. For instance, there's that dress that you two can purchase for the graduation. Also, those school assemblies, where she might have a small part, or just want you there. Being that this is the beginning of the transitioning period in her life, share some of your experiences, anticipate questions, by remembering what you felt like, or some of the things you did, or would like to have done, with your mother. Talk, share, do whatever...........make memories. Try to think what Jaycee's mother would have done, with Jaycee, had she had the chance. Try to appreciate the unique opportunity that is afforded you at this time, and don't pass it up, in search of what some refer to as "my own thing." (I'm just saying). Your time will come again, to, "be your own person," so don't blow this once in a lifetime opportunity to be a memorable mother to your daughters. Read everything you can, when Jaycee and family break their silence, and see if they don't, echo some of these very same thoughts.


Conclusion

So, make memories, make memories, make memories, and not to sound dark, but this could be the only thing you, or your daughter will have to hold on to, in the event of a similar situation.

Something to ponder: How many Jaycee's are out there at this writing, or will be in the future. (I'm just saying)?

© 2009 Alfreta Sailor

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Comments 32 comments

messerc123 profile image

messerc123 7 years ago from El Paso, Texas

My heart aches for them as well. At least they have each other now and can have more memories together. Good hub


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks messerc123, I agree, memories can be made at any age. Thanks for weighing in so quickly. Please come again.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 7 years ago from Georgia

As sad as this situation (and others like them), this is a time for reflection. It makes me want to hold my two babies tighter than ever before, and make as many happy memories with them as possible. This is such a good reminder fastfreta, that helps us to see how short and unpredictable life truly is. We have to make every moment count.

It was very brave of her to share her story with us.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Veronica, yours is the reaction I was hoping to get. Thanks for stopping by.


Hello, hello, profile image

Hello, hello, 7 years ago from London, UK

Hello fastfreta thank you for your well written hub. Such a terrible thing to happen and I am sure it will be a long long struggle to get back, so to speak.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Hello, hello, for stopping and thanks for the comment, and I agree about the struggle to get back. Please stop by again.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona

Thank you fastfreta for a very touching and heart felt hub on Jaycee Dugard thank you for sharing your feeling on the matter. creativeone59


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks creativeone for stopping by, and thank you for your comment.


jimcain207 profile image

jimcain207 7 years ago from HUMPHREY, ARKANSAS

This hub really touches the heart. Sure brings into focus how we need to make memories while we can. Life is too fragile and precious.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks jimcain for stopping by, and thank you for the comment. Please come again soon.


create a page profile image

create a page 7 years ago from Maryland, USA

fastfreta you are right. We need to really cherish those moments with our children. They grow up so quickly. We can never relive the past. The positive side, however is these ladies have been reunited and time does heal all wounds. They can learn from the past, and treasure the present. They have each other from henceforth to enjoy the company of each other.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks create a page, you're so right that is a positive side to this whole episode. I know they can and will move past the last 18 years and probably treasure every waking moment of their lives.


sukhera143 profile image

sukhera143 7 years ago from Home

I agree with you dear fastfreta.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks sukhera for weighing in on this hub. Please stop by again soon.


habee profile image

habee 7 years ago from Georgia

It's as if her childhood was ripped away. So sad. I can't imagine what she and her family endured. Excellent hub, FF!


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 7 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks habee, for stopping and for your comment.


Karen N profile image

Karen N 5 years ago from United States

Such a sad story, this is definitely every mother's worst nightmare.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

I agree Karen, it is a very sad story, that had a good outcome. Thanks for stopping, hope to see you again soon.


dashingclaire profile image

dashingclaire 5 years ago from United States

The other message I see here for Jaycee Dugard is never forget. There are so many missing kids. Jaycee was gone for such a long time, but she was found. It would be wonderful if we could do that for all those kids. Never give up! Thanks fastfreta great hub


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Thank you dashingclaire, you're so right there are so many missing kids, as I questioned in my hub, "how many Jaycee's are out there still." Very sad thought, but wonderful how Jaycee's situation turned out. Thanks for stopping, please stop again.


scott 5 years ago

During the diane sawyer interview, terrry, jaycee's mom, hit on exactly those points of what the garridos took from jaycee and her....proms, garduations, careers ect. and jaycee looked at her mom and said 'but he didnt get all of me'. jaycee looks at it as its now making up for lost time. her mom and her 'baby sister' helped teach her how to drive. her mom has watched as jaycee has grown into an awesome mother, a best selling author, and now a philanthripist who has created a charity to help other famillies like her own. and she and jaycee rode in a hot air baloon, fuffilng a wish jaycee had years ago if she were ever to be free again. so from the mundane, to the exceptional, terry is now seeing who jaycee will become :)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

Thanks Scott, I saw the interview too. I was so impressed with her attitude about the whole ordeal, but I still felt deeply for what they, (she and her mother) went through.


scott 5 years ago

absolutely. and not trying to trivilize it all.

i am just amazed by the strength and love both of them have.

i would never want to go thru what jaycee did.

but i wish i could be half the person she has become :)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

My sentiments exactly. She certainly has shown indomitable strength, and I applaud her for that, her mother also.


PaulaK profile image

PaulaK 5 years ago from Austin. Texas

She is quite a testimony of encouragement for those who have been through difficult and dangerous times. I admire her. Like you, I suspect there may be many more children hidden away from the public eye.


skye2day profile image

skye2day 5 years ago from Rocky Mountains

fast freta Blessings Sister. Thank You for the reminder. There is so much to be grateful for. Our God is an awesome God. He gave Jaycee and Mom strength to go through this heart wrenching event.

I pray that these years they have together are abundant. They have a home in Heaven for all eternity. That is Our Promise and great hope for Children of God. Praise God they were united and in the horrible loss they now have gain. The testimony can help others. I can not imagine nor do I want to. It is painful and makes me so thankful for my beautiful daughters. God please keep a hedge around our children of safe keeping and protection from the snare. In His name Jesus Christ. Hugs Galore to you sister.


Sinea Pies profile image

Sinea Pies 5 years ago from Northeastern United States

Such a frightening ordeal, it's difficult to even think about it happening to anyone. You are so right. Memories are important and we need to cherish every moment with those we love. This hub is a real blessing. Thank you for writing it.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

You're all so right, those two women are very strong and an encouragement to us all.

Thank you PaulaK, sky2day, and Sinea Pies, for stopping and weighing in on this important topic. Please stop again.


Rachelle Williams profile image

Rachelle Williams 5 years ago from Tempe, AZ

On a recent cross country drive, I stopped off at a gas station (one of those super gas stations along the interstate like LOVE'S or TravelCenter). Anyway, I purchased a 4 disc CD set where Jaycee Dugard tells her story.

My heart ached for her as well when I learned the details about her horrible ordeal.

Your advice to all of the mothers is sound.

You have done a great job with this hub.

But sadly enough, there are probably thousands of similar stories like these, and somewhere out there, a beautiful child is being harmed by a malevolent, but perfectly sane adult who will reach for the insanity plea if caught.


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 5 years ago from Southern California Author

I need to look into that. I saw the interview she did with Dianne Sawyer, and it was really interesting. She seems to be handling it well. I applaud her for being able to have such a positive outlook. Thank you Rachelle, you're too king for taking time to read these hubs. Please stay tuned to my new adventures in life. See you soon.


Scott 4 years ago

All due to respect to mothers out there.......I dont think there was a mom prouder then Terry was of Jaycee when she recieved the inspiration award in NYC on march 9th. (even if oprah tried to steal her moment!)

:)


fastfreta profile image

fastfreta 4 years ago from Southern California Author

I didn't see the show. I need to find it on the Internet and check it out. Thanks Scott for the heads up.

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