Leaving your family for work.

The Buildup

Having started my career in the mid ninties in the construction industry in ireland, finances were never really a problem and work was always there without even looking. I was always luck enough to be too busy and even ran my own business for a number of years. This all changes heading into 2009 when the Irish Recession became a real problem for a lot of people, including me. From being in steady employment all my life i went to being reliant on the government to give me a weeks wages! Now the irish dole system is particularly good, however, with 4 young children you do need a substantial amount of money every week. Being unemployed, in turn causes other underlying problems in any household. I spent most of my time either on the computer looking for work or just being depressed that i didn't have work. I regret that now because it only caused fights and i should have been spending my time with my children. Now i am away from them and i don't have that privelge. So my advice to any father who is currently unemployed, don't waste it, watch your children grow, listen to them and love them, because you will regret it when you do get work again.

Moving Away..........

Eventually after 8 months of unemployment something came up for me, one problem, its 8000km from my home, how can i commute!! Like thousands of other men and women i reluctantly got on a plane in dublin airport for, what i suppose, was a fresh start and a new adventure. At least i looked at it that way so as to take away from the fact i would be doing it without my right arm, my wife. I will never forget the morning i left, well it was 4 o clock so, middle of the night really. I was just glad to be going back to work and i had a friend who i was going to which helped no end. How do you do it? How do you spend months away from home? Im here 9 months now and i still don't know. I tend to just work, work, work and keep my mind off home. If anyone has any better ideas please let me know.

My Conclusion

How do i conclude? From my experience it is difficulf being away from your family but with a strong will and some good mates it is very possible. You have to keep your head on the end goal, which for me is making a more comfortable life for my children. I have personally set myself a two year limit here but i know already i will have to extend that to 3. Plan and manage your time well, use skype to keep in touch and try to have contact with home at least every second day and life will be a lot easier.


The Follow Up

I spent two years away and that was that, I couldn't take it anymore. I moved back to my home, my wife and my family. My thoughts were that something would come up, a Job of some description. After a year a Job did come up but again its away from home. So here I am, round 2, different country this time but same routine. Even after doing this before it doesn't get any easier, in fact, its probably harder this time because my children are older. I don't know how people do this on a long term basis I know now that I just couldn't manage it at all.

How long would you last working away from your family?

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Comments 5 comments

cjcarter profile image

cjcarter 5 years ago

That must be pretty intense living so far from your family. Would you recommend it to someone else, or would you do it in the first place if you could push the magic rewind button?


tmheffernan profile image

tmheffernan 5 years ago from Middle East Author

If i could rewind i still wouldn't have a choice i have to work and unfortunately that's not possible at home right now. I have looked all over the internet for jobs etc.


Phil Plasma profile image

Phil Plasma 5 years ago from Montreal, Quebec

I don't doubt it is a challenge, but I think you made the right decision to go.


ed 2 years ago

How old were your kids and how did they handle it?


jo 2 years ago

Hi im all new to this i live in boston with my husband. To earn more money my husband has been looking for jobs. He has just been offered one in cambridge which is 2 hours away from his friends and family and its 3 hours from mine. I don't want to move but fiancially it would be so much better. I just need help as i don't know what to do. I think im scared and i don't know how to feel and my family and friends don't want me to go and the same with his

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