How to Live with Teenagers - Is it Me or is it Them??

Teenagers are full of Fun! But Suddenly....What happened!

 This is C's new pet Curly Fry, his name is "Curly Kyle", she plans to keep him with her other weird food collection like her "two-headed" gummi worm!
This is C's new pet Curly Fry, his name is "Curly Kyle", she plans to keep him with her other weird food collection like her "two-headed" gummi worm!
  Early morning, not a familiar time for Sara, she isn't really awake in this picture, she is eating "automatically".
Early morning, not a familiar time for Sara, she isn't really awake in this picture, she is eating "automatically".
  She thought the camera was aiming toward her friends, trickery is the only way to get photos of "C" with her tongue in her mouth or... no hands in front of her face!
She thought the camera was aiming toward her friends, trickery is the only way to get photos of "C" with her tongue in her mouth or... no hands in front of her face!

My Teenagers are like any other teens, I don't kid Myself!

Here they are in all their glory, two sisters, one minute they adore each other and the next...well you know...
Here they are in all their glory, two sisters, one minute they adore each other and the next...well you know...
This was a day for Christiana, we took her to practice driving in the desert, then dad showed her gun safety so we could teach her target shooting.
This was a day for Christiana, we took her to practice driving in the desert, then dad showed her gun safety so we could teach her target shooting.
Dad's steady hands guiding our youngest as she begins learning to shoot a real gun.
Dad's steady hands guiding our youngest as she begins learning to shoot a real gun.
She seems to be getting it, later we take a break to gather desert rocks for my new duck pond.
She seems to be getting it, later we take a break to gather desert rocks for my new duck pond.
Sara Marie is learning that she loves horses!
Sara Marie is learning that she loves horses!
Sporty girl, always on the Go!!!
Sporty girl, always on the Go!!!
Sara Marie at the 2013 "Stagecoach" Country Concert!
Sara Marie at the 2013 "Stagecoach" Country Concert!

The Rules Seem to Change from one moment to the Next!


Heres' the question, who keeps changing the rules and where do I get a clue? Somehow I feel by the time I start understanding the rules, they'll already be grown, or at least past into another stage of life. I never know when it's fine to take their pictures, and when it's not? Funny hats,...?? not embarrassing...wearing a cute t-shirt in the backyard...back off mom! I'm the mom but you know what, I feel like I'm the one who's always in trouble!

Ok, it's not really that bad, well, except for that one week per month....

We still cook and have meals together several times a week, watch the latest films, we have all nighters in the summer when school is out, when no-one goes to bed. I can vaguely remember the times when the girls would fall asleep and my husband and I were left alone to finish out the "all-nighter" they had begged for.

I have to admit that the last one we had, one recent weekend... Greg and I were the ones sleeping and the girls, well, I am sure you can guess.....dad had a thousand ponytails and makeup clownishly smeared on his face when we woke up. I'll only leave you to guess where the stinkers stuffed my bedroom fuzzy slippers!


Last week my youngest daughter went to Arizona with a friend and her family, they were visiting her friends grandma to celebrate her birthday. For her entire life we just about lived in the church, daily, helping with various projects, classes and church family tasks, so you could say quite accurately that my children "grew up in the church". They call some members "aunt" and "uncle", to make it short, church & family became synonomous.

So my Christian daughter comes home after four days with this family and begins to announce to us that her friends' relatives took her on an adventure to meet the dead, to speak to her past husband , "from a past life", who she will remarry in this life at the age of 23 years old!!! As I sat and listened to the events of her past four days, I physically trembled, I thought, how can fours days with total strangers undo fifteen years of teaching, modeling, mentoring and prayer? Teenagers....who are they?





































































I can't really place the moment it happened, not as clearly as the way my husband remembers. The moment my daughters changed from my sweet angels, always trying to be like me,trying to please me and anticipate "what would make mom happy"...suddenly they seemed to have morphed into independent teens who felt their parents embarased them???


My husband, dear sweet man that he is, remembers waking up one morning sensing something had changed. The "old wives tale" became a reality for him as he stated, "it was like all the women living in my home were having PMS issues all on the same week!" He confessed to me one evening, I knew all you girls needed was to take a deep breath and maybe count to ten, but the fear of God warned me to just shut my mouth or the wrath of these women would turn itself upon me! Like I said, he's a dear sweet man, not so much cowardly as born of wisdom.,


TO BE CONTINUED:


Parents have to have a plan...............???

With all the love we have in our hearts for our kids, and of coarse our best wishes that they succeed in life and find the thing they like to do, some kind of work that will make them feel happy and fulfilled, there are days when you just want to, need to..., lock them away in their bedrooms and find some peace, take a break, have a grownup time-out! Coarse on those days I find myself locking myself in my own bedroom and putting the TV on a bit louder to drown out that stuff the kids call music... actually some of it is quite good, just not during that certain week of the month!

Sara works two part-time jobs when college is on break, Christiana is an honors student, and she even gets homework during the summer from her Honors teachers. The very kids who count the days until summer break, are now counting the days when school will start! I think I have heard every kid in town complain this week that they are bored! Christiana sometimes lets me read her Facebook Wall! Trust me, the kids are bored!

I found out my daughters were "normal" teenagers when I took the oldest to the doctors'. She sleeps all day, she won't go to bed at night...the doctor said, "Nothing to worry about, teenagers are nocturnal!" All teenagers need lots of sleep, especially when they hear their parents reminding them to clean their rooms, do their chores, or help in the garden!

My refrigerator was being emptied daily and my kids were complaining that they were starving. My husband and I scheduled a meeting while the girls were off somewhere, so we could discuss the food situation, also our home was starting to look a lot like their bedrooms and I never really new who I was going to run into in the hall. The local teens had adopted our home as the "cool" place to hang out! Greg and I didn't want to say anything because we always believed it was better to havethe girls' friends here where we had supervision, rather than at someone elses' home where we didn't know if a parent was there.

So we lugged a used refrigerator into the garage, bought a couple of used couches, tons of pillows, some bean bag chairs, a TV and a DVD player, their playstation 2 and a rug for the floor. We have a cabinet for snack foods, healthy and not so healthy, and lots of gatorade, and bottles water and iced tea. Thank you God for Costco!

The thing Greg and I have become aware of now is, they are noisy, moody, extremely messy and unaware of the impact they have on our home, ....but, they won't always be here and when they move on to their own spaces...we will miss them so very, very much!

 

Teenagers change from moment to moment:

    One minute she's all that, and we rejoice when she is feeling good about herself.
One minute she's all that, and we rejoice when she is feeling good about herself.
 We know that often without notice, Sara is in a funk and down about herself.  Take it from one's who have learned...never say "moody"!  OUCH!
We know that often without notice, Sara is in a funk and down about herself. Take it from one's who have learned...never say "moody"! OUCH!
This is a rare occurance, Christiana is smiling!
This is a rare occurance, Christiana is smiling!
The best thing we did, my husband and I was set up a place where all the kids could hang out at our house.
The best thing we did, my husband and I was set up a place where all the kids could hang out at our house.
 Giving up the garage, so the teens wouldn't over run our home and empty the refridgerator every day worked for everyone.
Giving up the garage, so the teens wouldn't over run our home and empty the refridgerator every day worked for everyone.
Inside the ride, Christiana and Nedda
Inside the ride, Christiana and Nedda
Ventura County Fair
Ventura County Fair

So you must have an opinion by now?

Is it Me or Is it The Teenagers?

  • Deffinately your problems, chill!
  • Your teenagers are not as normal as you think!
  • You are all crazy!
  • It's just that darn certain week of the month!
See results without voting

This Too is a Season that will Pass All too Quickly...

Christiana at the beach
Christiana at the beach
Sara plays night frisbee, it glows in the dark!
Sara plays night frisbee, it glows in the dark!
Sara and best friend Amanda
Sara and best friend Amanda
Christiana and bff Payton
Christiana and bff Payton
Girls at Six Flags
Girls at Six Flags

One moment they strive to be the center of Attention, the next they shrink away and don't want their picture taken!

Christiana struttin' her stuff!
Christiana struttin' her stuff!
Sweet sisters?  Oh yea!
Sweet sisters? Oh yea!
Silly hats aren't embarassing...oh...ok....
Silly hats aren't embarassing...oh...ok....
Wait,  when what?...?...who changed the rules???
Wait, when what?...?...who changed the rules???

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Comments 11 comments

Deborah-Lynn profile image

Deborah-Lynn 3 years ago from Los Angeles, California Author

Thank you for your encouragement , tillsontitan, I have had ups and downs with these kids also, but my oldest daughter, settled down and got determined younger than I thought she would and now works for a large bank and has her own office. My youngest girl is in college and has become very studious because her goal is to be a pediatrician, is is soon applying to UCLA Medical School! My son has given me a beautiful daughter-in-law with two gorgeous grandchildren. So you see, as the "rollercoaster ride" begins to slow down, we get to see true progress develop in the next generation, as you are seeing in your family as well!


Deborah-Lynn profile image

Deborah-Lynn 3 years ago from Los Angeles, California Author

thanks for reading my Hub, Carol, they say boys are easier than girls, but personally, I think it all balances out in the end. I just hope our children remember our kindnesses and return love with kindness as we become older.


carol7777 profile image

carol7777 3 years ago from Arizona

I do remember the teen years..2 boys..and I had it easy I have to say...Well now that said and done..I am paying a price now for everything that was so easy.


tillsontitan profile image

tillsontitan 3 years ago from New York

Since I'm reading this three years after you wrote it, it is safe to say things have change A BIT. I had two teen age girls and I would say it is easier to raise six boys than two teen age girls.

You just have to stick with your convictions, lay down the rules and laugh A LOT. Both of my girls are now married with children of their own and we are the best of friends. I am so proud of them and their children and I know you will walk in my shoes one day.

(My maiden name is Christiana but I knew it was also a girl's name.)

Voted up, useful, awesome, interesting and shared.


Kim Garcia 6 years ago

One word! HORMONES!!!LOL!! I love the way you experience life with your kids. Yes, my own daughter is fourteen and has a boyfriend. They talk on the phone for hours and on facebook longer than I'd care to admit. But....we do things together, bowling, kayaking, roller-skating, hanging out at the beach, and movies. Making friends with your daughter's friends is the smartest thing to do.....keeps them close at hand. Thanks for sharing. Peace n' Blessings! ~ K


RedSonja94 profile image

RedSonja94 6 years ago from Michigan

I love all the photos! Great looking kids. I agree though...teen years are a huge transition stage. I've got a 14 year old boy I'm going through it with. I sympathize with you greatly!


Deborah-Lynn 7 years ago

Yes, prasetio, teenagers are beginning to think and feel differently than they have as children, yet they are not adults, still immature. Staying close to your children is the same as someone closely guarding their valuables, our next generation is more valuable than diamonds or gold!


prasetio30 profile image

prasetio30 7 years ago from malang-indonesia

teenagers is in transition. We have to give them much attention. personally closed in needed for them. Don't let our teenagers looking around that have bad effect. we have to stay beside them.


Suiiki profile image

Suiiki 7 years ago from City of the Newly Wed and Nearly Dead

I remember my own teenage years...not too far gone. I swear if I ever have kids, and they pull some of the stuff the my friends and I did at that age...lol

"Honey, I know you would never lie to me...but I also know you know exactly where that dent in the back of the car came from. I know all about going places you aren't supposed to be going in between school and work...You are talking the woman who got lost and backed over a stop sign in an attempt to turn around when she was 17."

I was a good kid compared to some, but teenagers are natural mischief machines!


Kosmo profile image

Kosmo 7 years ago from California

You have a wonderful family, Deborah-Lynn, and teenagers certainly require lots of patience and tolerance but they will grow up, at which time you might wish they were kids again!... Later!


Deborah-Lynn profile image

Deborah-Lynn 7 years ago from Los Angeles, California Author

Please feel free to leave me a comment or related topic to begin a discussion regarding your teens, my teens, or anybodys' Teens...Let's talk awhile!

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