MOTHER IN LAW TROUBLES
Oh Lord, She's Here!
I SHALL CALL HER MALIFICENT (MAL)
In my life I have met boyfriends mothers, mothers I cooked with, shopped with, partied with and have had two mother in laws. One goes around singing and smiling. Can and will cook a feast in about 45 minutes and is someone people want to be around. The other is mostly interested in herself and her perfect children. Guess which one I am dealing with now. Yep, old Malificent. (This is a fairy tale witch,rather evil,)
Mal's children sprang from her pearly, white loins with halos and wings. Two of them have eating disorders. The third quite normal. (I think)
The one I married drug me up to Savannah, GA, to meet Mommy. Now mind you, I had been introduced to other friends and family and mostly they said, "Have you met the Mother?" or "God, you look just like her." I was okay with it until I heard her mouth.
Paul said, "Mom, I want you to meet someone." Her preciousness said, "I don't care, as long as it isn't that other bitch." She hadn't even come into the room when those golden tones filled the air. The next morning we where making breakfast and I mentioned, casually, that Paul likes cheese in his grits. The look I got should have withered me and the spoon I held right there on the spot. She ran off to be sure I was correct, screeching, "Do you like cheese grits? She said you did."
I left the kitchen.
I should have run fast and hard but, alas, I was temporarily insane,
So, off I went, stupid butt that I was, am, whatever. Married him in his sister's living room, Mal made the bouquets. Paul told his sister she was the matron of honor. Not so, said I. i already have one. So I had two. Christmas Eve. The only month I said i didn't want to get married. So now our anniversary gets lost in all the other hoopla.
CO-DEPENDENT, CO-DEPENDENT, OH HEAVENS CO-DEPENDENT
This family is sooooo co-dependent. When I use the terms Mommy, Sissy and Bubbie, that is what they call each other. Just add poo or doo to the end. Gag me, thank you, I don't need a spoon. These people are in their 40's, 50's and 70's
My husband will call each of them with any news and forget me. He got a new job this very day. Called me last. He hasn't worked in 2 years, yes years, and he calls me last. (Yes, I am a touch ticked.) He doesn't tell me when we are doing something with "La Familia" until two hours before whatever occassion it is. I have learned to be sick and have headaches if Mal is going to be there. i learned to love wine, it was better than trying to dodge the snipes she throws my way every damn time I see her. It has gotten better through the years but at this point they don't threaten me, they just act like a clan that no one and I mean no one will ever join..Leave 'em too it.
WHY DO I STAY?
Paul has a good heart, We have a 16 year old son together and that's a good enough reason for me. i was emotionally weak when I met him. He came in and kind of took charge. I was ready for that, Still am. I don't work, other than the company I own. He is the bread winner and I try to control his spending, get the bills paid and put some in savings. He likes to shop at Saks. I prefer the Goodwill or Wal-Mart. He wants a new car every couple of years. I will drive mine until the wheels fall off. Mommy told him that I should be happy to have a husband who loves me. I told him that my last husband still loves me (though in a different way).My exes family has called to tell me they miss me. This was after years of divorce. It made me remember that I can be loved and am a good person. I lost my way about my self perception, me, once so strong, but as I said I was weak. I also wanted him to teach my boys about the finer things. My oldest had been with me,alone so long, that he thought as I thought, things don't matter unless they are living.
13 years is a LONG time. I get so angry with him and his that I want to scream and literally have. My mother and stepmmother treat/ed him like a king. Like he is my husband. I wish his mother would offer me the same.
Now, after all my whining, I still retain their last name, attend the family gatherings and feel comfortable about it. I would tell someone getting married to those that think they, yes they, you marry the family, are above you is a bad idea, they never stop with that perception, never.
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