Mommy's Scared of School

I admit, I think I'm the one scared of school

Have you ever had that feeling that you're losing your child already?

Call me mellow dramatic but I did feel that just a while back when I sent my seven year old son back to school. It was very different compared to when he was in preschool. Back then, I knew that in a few hours, I'd see him again. However, this time it was different.

I had to prepare myself to wait for him for the next six hours wondering what he was doing, if he was having fun or if he was doing well with his activities.

I had him homeschooled for a year before this one. We had all the fun we could get and all the scolding we could get involved in at the same time. It was both fun and frustrating at the same time, but I could say, it will always be among the most treasured memories I will have of him. When the psychiatrist diagnosed him with ADHD and suggested to have him go back to school and mingle with his peers [because at home, he was alone with us, his parents], I was adamant at first, but I knew this suggestion should be taken into consideration should I want him to explore his own capacities and capabilities as an individual.

A tear fell my eye when I joked with my husband saying "my little boy's growing up"...

... I did not mean to tear up, but I guess it was just the classic mother-dilemma of seeing their children go towards a little bit of maturity.

Perhaps my fear is not at all too dramatic though.

Parents have a lot of reasons to be concerned about school and how their children would actually be able to fair in the said institutions along with their peers. With classic peer-pressure issues and the rising rate of school-based crimes, parents have all the reasons to worry. Nevertheless, protecting our children with the right morals and the right guidance even when they are still growing in our homes could help us at least trust the fact that our children would be able to handle themselves in particular cases of such pressures.

Prayer helps a lot....I could not imagine how long I prayed right after my child left the door for school. It seemed that at the time, it was the only thing that calmed me down from all the fears I had inside.

Now, what I do is to continuously hope that each day would be a new memory for my son to treasure and would serve as little tiny steps for me to learn how to accept that my son is really already growing up.

....with the promise that I would always be there to guide him and provide him the support he needs, I'll look from a distance and let him become the person that he has to be, a good boy turning into a responsible man who learns step by step from all the decisions that he makes in life.

Slowly, I have to realize that even though I would always be there, there are things he needs to realize and learn from on his own, matters that would largely affect his individual growth into becoming a responsible adult.......

Alas! The wonders of motherhood :)

In line with this.. I would just like to share one of my favorite songs from Celine Dion

If I Could ( I guess it was Barbara Streisand who first sang the original version of the song)

"If I Could"

If I could
I'd protect you from the sadness in your eyes
Give you courage in a world of compromise
Yes, I would

If I could
I would teach you all the things I've never learned
And I'd help you cross the bridges that I've burned
Yes, I would

If I could
I would try to shield your innocence from time
But the part of life I gave you isn't mine
I've watched you grow
So I could let you go

If I could
I would help you make it through the hungry years
But I know that I can never cry your tears
But I would
If I could

If I live
In a time and place where you don't want to be
You don't have to walk along this road with me
My yesterday
Won't have to be your way

If I knew
I'd have tried to change the world I brought to you to
And there isn't very much that I can do
But I would
If I could...
Oh baby... mummy wants to protect you
And help my baby through the hungry years
It's part of me
And if you ever... ever need
Sad shoulder to cry on
I'm just someone to talk to
I'll be there... I'll be there
I didn't change your world
But I would
If I Could!

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Comments 2 comments

TeachableMoments profile image

TeachableMoments 4 years ago from California

Very nice hub. I've been a little emotional this week, my daughter just started kindergarten. Fortunately, she is adjusting well and adores her teacher. I truly appreciate what all parents endure as they watch their children disappear behind a classroom door. The feeling is quite intense. I can't imagine what I'll feel when she goes off to college. Thanks for sharing your thoughts and concerns. I hope your son is doing well and making new friends.


rutheddavid profile image

rutheddavid 4 years ago from Philippines Author

hi there TeachableMoments! :)

thanks for reading through the hub and thanks for leaving such a nice comment...

Yes, my son is doing good now and has a lot of friends in school... :)

I think it's simply the whole being-mom dilemma that really makes us nervous when they finally start leaving home and living life on their own.. well, we're their moms and that's our role... :)

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