How I'm helping to raise smart grandkids

MY GRANDSON WILL LEARN TO LOVE ANIMALS, LIKE GOD INTENDED. NOT ABUSE THEM LIKE SOME JERK.
MY GRANDSON WILL LEARN TO LOVE ANIMALS, LIKE GOD INTENDED. NOT ABUSE THEM LIKE SOME JERK.
CHEATING ON HIS WIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE ACCEPTED. MY GRANDSON WILL KNOW WHAT HONOR, TRUST AND INTEGRITY MEANS.
CHEATING ON HIS WIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE ACCEPTED. MY GRANDSON WILL KNOW WHAT HONOR, TRUST AND INTEGRITY MEANS.
DRUG ABUSE IS NOT EVEN IN THE PICTURE, BUT WISDOM ABOUT DRUGS IS WHAT I WANT MY GRANDSON TO LEARN.
DRUG ABUSE IS NOT EVEN IN THE PICTURE, BUT WISDOM ABOUT DRUGS IS WHAT I WANT MY GRANDSON TO LEARN.
LOAFING IS A DEADLY HABIT THAT ALL MEN LOVE TO DO. I WILL DO MY BEST TO TEACH MY GRANDSON HOW TO WORK WITH HIS HANDS, MIND, TO FEED HIS FAMILY.
LOAFING IS A DEADLY HABIT THAT ALL MEN LOVE TO DO. I WILL DO MY BEST TO TEACH MY GRANDSON HOW TO WORK WITH HIS HANDS, MIND, TO FEED HIS FAMILY.
MY GRANDSON WILL NOT BE TAUGHT IT'S OKAY TO BLAST AWAY AT ANY LIVING THING WITH A GUN. BUT RESPECT FOR GUNS WILL BE HIS LESSON.
MY GRANDSON WILL NOT BE TAUGHT IT'S OKAY TO BLAST AWAY AT ANY LIVING THING WITH A GUN. BUT RESPECT FOR GUNS WILL BE HIS LESSON.
THIS, TO ME, IS A PICTURE OF THE IDEAL GRANDPA. SHARING TIME AND TEACHING HIS GRANDKIS VALUE LIFE LESSONS.
THIS, TO ME, IS A PICTURE OF THE IDEAL GRANDPA. SHARING TIME AND TEACHING HIS GRANDKIS VALUE LIFE LESSONS.
ALCOHOL ABUSE: NOT SUCH A THING WILL BE TAUGHT TO MY GRANDSON. BUT IF HE CHOOSES, AS AN ADULT TO DRINK, I WILL TEACH HIM MODERATION.
ALCOHOL ABUSE: NOT SUCH A THING WILL BE TAUGHT TO MY GRANDSON. BUT IF HE CHOOSES, AS AN ADULT TO DRINK, I WILL TEACH HIM MODERATION.
SMOKING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NOT FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN.
SMOKING? ARE YOU KIDDING ME? NOT FOR MY GRANDCHILDREN.

That's right . . .

I'm helping to raise smart grandkids. That is my goal for my grandson, John Gabriel Nash. Oh, allow me to introduce his sisters, my granddaughters: Alexis Cameron Nash and Annabeth Mckenzie Nash, and my grand kids are special. All grand kids are special. Gifts from God. I know this is true. And my bits of life-wisdom is applicable to Alexis and Annabeth as well.

When my wife told me years ago, "we are going to be grandparents," I couldn't walk. Talk. See straight. Think. It was that exciting to me. Me? A grandpa. What a rush! If someone had told me in my high school years that one day I would be a grandpa, I would have laughed them to scorn. In those days, I didn't care. About anything. Or anyone. I was in the 'game of life,' for me. And me only. I am being honest. And I know you Hub writers are all honest as well. No use telling lies. I was selfish, self-centered. And only wanted what "I" wanted. Talk about a jerk. That was the 18-year-old version of me.

First kids first . . .

Alexis came first. She was, and is my buddy. Alex, as I call her, spent a lot of time with me before I got sick with Accelerated Fibromyalgia and Neuropathy. I would take her to town with me. Shop at Walmart. Eat at (her restaurant) Burger King, and we would have a ball--sharing ideas, opinions, and let me just say this. Alex, as a young toddler, knew more about life that I thought I did. I was constantly amazed at her natural wisdom. Beauty. Charm. That she got from her mother, Angela, not Michael Nash, her dad. I have to be honest. I don't want my friends and followers to think that I am an 'apple polisher.'

Then came John Gabriel. He was a regular 'ball of fire,' as a baby--always crawling, rolling, and falling off of the couch, bed and sometimes just falling in the floor. I thought to myself that he is destined to be a stuntman in Hollywood one day. And he just might do that. Gabriel, as everyone calls him, is so active, he only sits still to eat. And can that young boy eat. His 'hunger' for food, brings tears to my eyes. He is, I think, even at age eight, on his way to being a Navy Seal or maybe a Green Beret. Either one, I will be proud. Honestly, I will be proud of him in whatever vocation he chooses. Except that of a criminal. Gang banger. Thief. Liar. Or cheat. I cannot let my acceptance and tolerance go that far. I hate it. I am just that set in my ways.

My grand daughters know what they want to be . . .

Alexis, our eldest grand daughter, age ten, has already made up her mind to be either a school teacher or world-wide evangelist. And she is totally-serious. She will tell you face-to-face that these two 'jobs,' as she calls them, is what she wants to be. So playing the role of the doting, understanding, and encouraging grandpa, I am for Alexis in these two jobs, or whatever life has for her to do. Except being a drug dealer. Prostitute. Thief. Liar. Embezzler. As in Gabriel's case, my understanding and tolerance does have their limits.

Annabeth, our youngest, has told us that she would love to be, "a mermaid," as she says in her very-serious five-year-old voice that is already touched by realistic conviction. Personally, with a name like Annabeth Mckenzie, she is bound for fame and fortune as a single woman, but a prominent writer of literary masterpieces. Her Old South name has already chosen that field for her. I do not think that Annabeth will take a husband. She grimaces when the subject of boys comes up at dinner. Or snack time. But Alex is different. She has already had and lost one boyfriend who lived next door to her. And she took it like a trooper. "Moving on," she told me after the painful break-up of a relationship that lasted for almost two weeks.

My headline, 'I'm helping to raise an ignorant grandson' is misleading . . .

I was going to devote this entire story to Gabriel, but after some thought, that hurt my head, I decided to dedicate this text to all of my grand kids, for the lessons I want Gabriel to learn will easily be applied to my grand daughters.

I want my grand kids 'ignorant' of these things . . .

SPOUSAL ABUSE - sorry, modern world of 2011. I am not going to allow the super-tolerant Phil Donahue, Jerry Springer crowds influence my grand kids into believing that willfully abusing their spouses is cool. Accepted. The thing to do. And a thing of honor. If I cannot help to teach my grandchildren the tried, true, simple art of just being understanding with their companions, then I desire for God to just take me out of this world. I want my grand kids to be unique. Peculiar to the undisciplined masses. I want these children to grow up to honor, respect, and yes, love their husbands and wife. That is if they marry.

ANIMAL ABUSE - God did not put His creatures on earth to be abused. Used for profit in illegal fighting games. Run-over. And treated like they were not even living things. Right now, all of my grand kids love animals. They have a cat named, "Teddy," and I am trying to talk my wife into letting me buy a Rhesus monkey for them to play with. You know how that went.

CHEATING - on their companions, on tests, on the job site, taxes, any area of life that calls for honesty to be implemented, that is what I want for my grand kids. There is nothing more disappointing than to know that a so-called 'genius' of a person who zoomed through school, passed every test. Never studied, but cheated to get ahead, is really more than a case of simple disappointment. It is a personal violation to everything we as a people stand for. I am one for teaching integrity, respect, and just sticking to the job of being a wife or husband. I don't think that is wrong of me either.

CHILD ABUSE - please! Do not get me started on this area. Children, like grandchildren are gifts of God. You are correct. You didn't misread that statement. I said gifts of God and should be loved, cherished and honored. We live in a society that is sadly, sick somewhere. Most every newscast we see are stories about animals, children, and wives being abused as if they were pieces of furniture. This is a crime. Cut and dried. Willful-abuse of any living thing should bring down the judicial wrath of our court system, but you know as well as I do, that a slick lawyer can get anyone 'off' for almost anything with a plea deal. If my grand kids ever lift a finger to abuse their children, if they have any, even at my then-very elderly age, I will have a lot to say to them. So that is why I am saying a lot to them now about NOT abusing any living thing.

SMOKING - if you have followed my hubs lately, you know how I feel about this one. I do not want Gabriel to smoke, chew, or dip. Even have tobacco in his house or car. I guess I sound like one of those anti-alcohol women of the Temperance League of long ago, but I can tell Gabriel the truth about the harm that accompanies smoking. My granddaughters are already turning up their noses at the smell of cigarettes. That is a good sign. I am going to preach and repreach to them the evils of smoking as long as I have breath. I love them that much.

DRUG ABUSE - all I have to do when Gabriel and his sisters are spending the night with my wife and I, is turn on the evening news and let them see, first-hand, what drug abuse can really do to a once-thriving, healthy man or woman. And if the news doesn't do the trick. I can call on the 'big guns,' the Discovery Channel or the Learning Channel, who feature documentaries often about how harmful illegal drugs can be to a person. How serious am I about this one and the previous points I have talked about? So serious that I had rather lay down my life, now, than to know that my grand kids, or yours, ever did any of these deadly things.

LOAFING - is just a mild, cute way of saying a man is 'lazy.' A gold brick. Not wanting to work. Even with his family he is to support. Call me stupid. I don't care. I am not against 'some' down-time. Some carefree loafing. But around the clock? Everyday? Something is wrong if my healthy grandson, Gabriel, and my granddaughters, Alex and Annabeth simply want to not be productive. If either or all of these grandkids listen to some in this country who say that it's our government's place to take care of them, and them healthy, then I must speak up and tell them the hard truth. Simply put. To have. You must work. NOTE: I am not talking about the legitimate cases of disability, social security or welfare. I am talking about another 'abuse,' in that of taking the government for a ride.

GUNS - don't even form your mouth to say it. I know. We have the right to 'keep and bear arms.' That is not the point. I am not against owning a gun. I am not anti-hunters. I am though, against willful abuse of using firearms. That means to me, allowing young or old people, who have not been educated, to have access to any firearm. I know the old argument. "Guns don't kill people. People do." And even that is not the issue. I do not want my grandson, or granddaughters to grow up thinking that guns are toys. And guns are wrong. I am not an extremist. I will do my best to teach my grandkids the safety, the laws, and correct usage and storage of firearms. If they all never shoot a gun at any living thing, that will be fine by me.

ALCOHOL ABUSE - I had two wonderful uncles die of an alcohol-related accident. But prior to that, both abused alcohol almost daily. Nightly. And both were creative, genius types of men. Loved by family and friends. And me. I too have abused alcohol. Okay. Booze in my day. And I never profited a thing by proving to anyone that I could drink them under the table. If my grand kids choose, as adults, to have a drink in their own homes, so be it. They will be intelligent, responsible adults. And they will not be taught that over-boozing with friends for any reason, especially driving while drinking is anything to be proud of.

Are my grandkids perfect? Little angels? No. And yours aren't either. Will my grandkids ever experiment with any of the things I have mentioned in this story? I cannot answer that, but given to human curiosity, peer pressure, they might.

And if the do, partake. Experiment. Or even abuse these things. I want to be the kind of grand dad would would, if it took it, walk to where they are at, lift them in my arms, doctor them back to health. And sobriety. But not point one finger of condemnation at them.

That is my goal.






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Comments 21 comments

rsusan profile image

rsusan 5 years ago from South Africa

It is so wonderful that we all have the opportunity to be a better example to kids and grandkids, than what they see in the world around them and read about in newspapers. Grandparents can play a huge role, as you clearly know, Kenneth. Your grandkids are lucky to have you in their lives!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, DEAR friend, rsusan! That is SO SWEET of you to say, but honestly, I am the blessed one to have these little adults in MY LIFE, but YOUR sweet remark made my day. And yes. I agree. We need to do all we can, little or a lot, to make sure our grand's go into the world 'eyes not blinded,' but wide-open. Thanks again, rususan, and please keep in touch with me. Your comments/emails are always uplifting to me. My Highest Regards, KENNETH


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 5 years ago from Hawaii

I'm a grandma, and i too want to raise a smart granddaughter, who will one day become a woman of worth. You have provided tips to take seriously. Thanks for sharing.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hello, IslandVoice! Pardon my amazement, did you say YOU were a gradma? Please dont think of me as bold or forward, but YOU DO NOT LOOK like a grandma. Forgive me if that offends you, but I only speak my heart. And I SINCRELY OFFER YOU MY HEARTFELT THANKS for this and all of YOUR comments that always make me smile and believe that there IS a reason for me living on earth. Take care and Peace to you, MY DEAR FRIEND, Kenneth


Ashantina profile image

Ashantina 5 years ago

Hi Kenneth, these are gems we must also educate our children about.. its sooo important to teach this to them from a young age before they do become exposed to it. And your grandkids are blessed to benefit from your wisdom.

I really enjoyed reading your article.

UP, useful and interesting :)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, Dear Ashatina! THANK YOU SINCERELY . . .for your warm comments. And votes.I do appreciate YOU and YOUR words a LOT! These grand's are like any grand's, gifts of OUR GOD, and I feel that they should be cared for in that manner. I hold true to the fact, 'knowledge is power,' and the more knowledge I can give to my grand's, or any toddler, or child of learning age, about how deadly, evil, and destructive 'these' things can be, then I can pass away one day fulfilled at filling my need to touching a few lives along life's way. Thank YOU, again, dear Ashatina. YOUR words are VERY MUCH savored. And appreciated. Sincerely, Kenneth


Nelly A. profile image

Nelly A. 5 years ago

Hi Kenneth. Really nice hub you've got here. You provided a lot of information. Almost all parents and grandparents (I for one)think that they have taught everything to their kids/grandkids, but after reading this hub, I was kinda "oh..I forgot to teach that one". Voted up. Very organized hub and very well-written.


kimh039 profile image

kimh039 5 years ago

I like your ideas of course, but I really like your grandkids' names! You must have picked them:) I like your high expectations, yet you allow for free will and choices and learning from mistakes. I'm teaching my grand daughter music appreciation and love of reading and "please" and "thank you". There are so many good things to teach. Well, I'm afraid I am also teaching her to say, "shh" after she drops something. Hmmm.


IslandVoice profile image

IslandVoice 5 years ago from Hawaii

Too funny Kenneth, but thanks for the compliment. Mine is a long story of young (I was 18) motherhood, and my daughter and i are more like best friends. She in turn had a baby at a later age. I hope i'm not confusing you. But, i do take being a grandma quite seriously, and picked up some useful tips from you. God bless.


Sueswan 5 years ago

Bless you Kenneth. This is a beautiful hub.

I will never be a grandma but if I was I would definitely follow your lead.

Voted up, up and away!


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Nelly A., you are right. After finishing this, a had yet more tips for the kids, but this was sufficient. If they avoid these things, be kind to others, help animals, respect themselves and their spouses...IF they take one, I will be happy. Thanks so much, Nelly, for your kind comment. I appreciate it SO MUCH. Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Thank you, kimh039, for the compliment on my grandkids' names, but my daughter, Angela, chose all of their names. And I approved 110%! And thank YOU for the comment on this hub. Your comments, as well as the comments of other writers, more talented than I, always make my day brighter. Thank YOU! Kenneth


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Warm Greetings, islandvoice!

I understand now. And I am thrilled at you and your daughter bonding to close. PLEASE keep that intact. I know a mom and daughter who used to be close, but the daughter is now pulling away for some reason. And I thank you islandvoice, for your lovely remark. I too take my "grandpa business," to heart. But, like I said in all sincerity, you do not look like a grandma. Take care and have a bright day. KENNETH


pstraubie48 profile image

pstraubie48 5 years ago from sunny Florida

It is an awesome task...this grandparenting role...my first grandboy came into my life almost 17 years ago now...and the symphony in my heart has not stopped and now there is a 17 month old toddler so ...you know...as my eldest grandson has grown, I have shared with him the values I shared with his Momma. And sometimes I wondered if he heard me...until one day he said...'Nanan, you are so smart..I like to talk with you about what is on my mind." And wow...he left me speechless. So I could deeply identify with your words. Blessed you.

Blessed grandchildren.


Giselle Maine 5 years ago

Your grandkids are so lucky to have you as a grandfather. I really enjoyed your witty and interesting style of writing. My favorite part of this hub was the announcement by Alexis of "moving on".

This whole hub is really great. Thanks for sharing your experiences.


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Good morning, Giselle! It's Nov. 3,2011, my dad would have been 95 if he had lived until today. Thank YOU, my sweet and talented friend, not only for your comment on my grandkids being lucky to have me as a grandfather, but on this hub. I SINCERELY SAVOR YOUR comments and all comments from followers or anyone. But in all humility and honesty to you, Giselle, my New Friend, it is "I" who is blessed to be a part of Alexis', Gabriel's and Annabeth's lives. Hope that the seeds I'm planting now, will come to fruition someday. Yes, thank you about the "Alexis moving on," was her declaration of independence. Im so proud of her. Giselle, I wish for YOU, a sweet day filled with happiness, good friends, loving family, and a peace that you cannot fathom. Sincerely, KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Hi, pstraubie48, THANK YOU for the warm commment, and yes, it is, a daunting task, the grandparenting thing. Stressful, nerve-wrenching, but in the end, like your grandchild's few words, it IS WORTH EVERY MINUTE! What we do NOW for these grandchildren, will come home to us as they take on adulthood. I truly believe that. Take care, my friend. KENNETH


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Nov. 3, 2011/9:56 a.m./cst

Dearest Sueswan . . .I am so sorry. In my fast-paced life, I sped over YOUR comment on this hub. Please forgive me. I am heart sorry for this error. And I thank you VERY MUCH for this compliment--following my lead. Dear Susan, I try hard to make my grandkids appreciate who they are. And be proud that they are a huge part of MY LIFE. I tell them EVERYTIME I SEE them just how much I LOVE them and how PROUD of them I am for their good work in school. If I can do but one ordained feat by God, it would be ENCOURAGING these little ones that HE gave me. After all, they belong to HIM. Thanks again. Sincerely, KENNETH


Sueswan 5 years ago

Dearest Kenneth,

You always acknowledge my comments so I know you did not deliberately ignore my comment . :-)


kenneth avery profile image

kenneth avery 5 years ago from Hamilton, Alabama Author

Dearest SUSAN . . .you are RIGHT. I DO NOT deliberately ignore YOU or your lovely comments. I just got in a big hurry and overlooked JUST ONE. I will work to do better. Sincerely, KENNETH


Becky Puetz profile image

Becky Puetz 4 years ago from Oklahoma

You seem like a wonderful grandfather; too bad there are not more second parents like you to lead our young ones through the difficult years ahead of them. God bless you in your mission to guide these little ones down the right path. Enjoyed your Hub. Voted up!

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