My Remark to Anyone Who Says That Only Children Grow Up To Be Maladjusted Adults-@$%^%&*!

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Only Children Become Quite Adjusted and Self-Assured Adults, Thank You Very Much

There was the stereotype of only children growing up to be maladjusted adults having poor social skills, being selfish prima donnas, and having issues with intimacy. Theses stereotypes were that only children had these characteristics because they do not have siblings. However, newer studies disproves these ridiculous and asinine statements.

New studies have proven that only children have the same skills as people who have siblings do. Whether a person is a single child or part of a multichild family has no bearing on his/her social skills. Only children have friends, neighbors, and cousins to hone their social skills. Also many only children attend day care and/or nursery schools in order to interact with peers.

Furthermore, there are children with siblings who have poor social skills and are shy and withdrawn. Having a sibling does not guarantee that a person has social skills. Only children also are pure developmental mature than children with siblings because they grew up in an adult environment where their only immediate environmental interaction with their parents. When children have their parents as their primary interactors, they have more adult mannerism and vocabulary. This leads to better academic performance in acadenia.

Parents usually have more resources, financially, physically, and psychologically to devote to their only child than they would in multichild families. Because only childr are the sole recepient of their parents' attention and do not have to compete with siblings, they have a very strong sense of assurance and confidence. They also are quite comforable in their own milieu.

Only children are not pidgeonhole into rigid familial roles as children with siblings are i.e. the pretty one, the smart one, the athletic one, and/or the stupid one. Only children are free to be what and who they want. Because only children have no siblings, they can be quite imaginative and creative, playing by themselves contentedly for hours on end. Most of the creative people in this world are only children. They know how to entertain themselves. Only children have a creativily that children with siblings can only imagine.

Only children are often high academic achievers and quite popular with their peers. They often do not have the competitiveness and the tug of war mentality that children with siblings have. They form truer friendships and are not into the upmanship, manipulating, backstabbing, and other gameplaying tactics that children from multichild families frequently indulge.

Only children often are very generous and share things with their friends. They also share things with their parents. I remember that as a child, I would donate my old clothes to my cousins who did not have any. I did this constantly without prodding from my parents. I remember a book by Ellen Peck called THE JOY OF THE ONLY CHILD which she states that only children, because they had an abundance of things, they had no problems sharing. Ms. Peck, an ex-schoolteacher, further state that it is the children from large families who grew up with nothing were usually greedy and were reluctant to share.

Because only children had no siblings, they had to look outside their immediate familial circle for friendships. This makes them more universalistic and broadminded in their approach to life. Also only children indulge in cultural and intellectual activities that children from multichild families do not such as foreign travel, attending dancing/music lessons, and going to museums among other cultural activities. Different types of people are met through these activities.

Children with siblings, especially in large to very large families, only associate with each other and have few, if any, outside friends. Many mulitchid people, especially those in large to very large families, are quite insular people. People with siblings do not place a value on outside friendships that only children do.

Of course, only children have loving and warm relationships with their parents which make more giving people. Furthermore, that teaches them to form intimate relationshps with others. Only children are not as competitive, backstabbing, and manipulative as children in multichild famlies because these actions are rife in the multichild familial environment. Only children have a live and let live attitude and do not try to outdo a person. The malicious stereotype that only children are attention seeking is baseless. There are many people in multichild families who are attention seeking because they do not receive adequate attention from their parents e.g. Madonna, the third of eight children, who acknowledged in her biography that she always performed antics as a child and teenager in order to get parental attention. So stop this nonsense about only children being attention seeking!!\

Most only children are very laid back and assured because they received lots of parental attention when they were young., Only child adults are often ambitious and achivement oriented. Studies show that only children are some of the most education people in the population. More only chlidren finished college and graduated school than any other birth order. They are also the most affulent of all birth orders.

Because they are self-assured, only children make great leaders. For example, one illustrious leader was ex-Mayor Rudolph Giulani who had the self-assurance that is typical of only children. Mr. Giulani help see New York City through 9/11. He stepped up to the plate, interfaced with people, and assured them that everything would get better. Only children make quite capable, fairminded, and mature leaders. They do not play corporate and office politicas like people who have siblings do. Only children also do not have the underlying issues that people with siblings do.

In conclusion, only children mature into quite adjusted adults who have excellent social skills. They also are truer people who have more sincere friendships than people with siblings. They are more psychological healthier and have an unscathed self-esteem. This is becauise only children were not subjected to the teasing and ceaseless bantering that children with siblings are on a daily basis.

Having no siblings also lead only children to have a high sense of individuality and creatively as they are not locked into rigid familial roles. Only children also had their parents' undivided attention and they grew up in an adult environmen. This made them mature faster in that they developed adult mannerisms and outlook at a young age. Children with siblings tend to mature slower because they interact with othe siblings primary, not their parents.

Only children learned to share with friends, relatives, and parents. Only children are generous people because they were not forced to share as children with siblings are. Only children are also quite successful academically which translates into becoming successful adults in the work world Only children good and fair minded leaders who do not engage in the common game playing and office politics which is an outgrowth of the sibling family system.

Only children being maladjusted adults-balderdash! Only children are some of the most successful adults are. Look at the following illustrious adult onlies: the late Charlton Heston, Ted Koppel, Carol Burnett, Robert Englund, Betty White, Robin Williams, Jerry Lewis, Natalie Portman, Charlize Theron, Dick Cavett, and Elton John. Only children are awesome people and soon the whole world will know this!

© 2011 Grace Marguerite Williams

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Comments 6 comments

b. Malin profile image

b. Malin 5 years ago

No matter what "Rat Hole" a Child is born into...He, or She can still grow up to be a Successful Man or Woman whom Society learns to Love and Respect. This is America and so many (as you have pointed out in this Wonderful Hub , Gmwilliams) do just that. The Future is always in the NEXT GENERATION. So Love and Raise and Teach them well.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

Thank you!


L a d y f a c e profile image

L a d y f a c e 5 years ago from Canada

Thank you for writing this hub! I grew up as an only child, and only found I have siblings later in life.

Case in point: I'm the epitome of social butterfly. I'm outgoing, adventurous, volunteer for three different charities in the community, I'm not selfish, and I value my friends as though they were what I always imagined siblings would be like. I have no time for foolishness or backstabbing, and therefore over the years by being myself, have found absolute, true friends.

You couldn't be more right. I've had therapists send me to anger management courses TWICE growing up because they didn't think I was angry enough. They actually thought I was too laid back, and that's what they did.

Love this hub, gmwilliams. Voted way up, and useful.

(also, let me add that my husband came from a two child family and for the first 20 years of his life was withdrawn, shy, and had many issues due to sibling rivalry and the way his parents dealt with it).


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 5 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

To Ladyface: You have validated my point exactly. I, too, am laid back and nonegotistical. I also am not attention seeking-I am quite the opposite. Many people have said that I am TOO QUIET. I have found that the most prima donnaish, attention seekers and selfish people came from large to very large families.

I went to school with a girl who was one of six children-she believed that she should have everything that the more affluent classmates had. She shook down students for monies everyday. At work, there two women from large families-they were both from six siblings. One believed that the sun rose and set with her. The second person wanted everyone to wait on her and give her attention. So anyone who makes a negative remark about us onlies get a nasty retort from me! Thsnk you again for your comment. I am on a mission to dispel negative myths about us onlies. People with siblings have some faults, too!


Rena Alexander profile image

Rena Alexander 4 years ago

Thank you, gmwilliams. I agree with you. This stupid myth about only children was started by someone who has siblings who was actually jealous of only children and resented them for beingwhat they consider "lucky." Therefore, they wanted to make everything about only children bad, to make themselves (or having siblings) better. People with siblings are not better, superior or well adjusted. It has nothing to do with having siblings or not. I could write you a long, long, long, long list of people with siblings (whom I know personally as well as celebrities) who are lonely, weird, selfish, doesn't share, or thinks the world revolve around them. This stereotype was made from hate, jealousy, and resentment from a person with siblings who felt that only children had it better.


gmwilliams profile image

gmwilliams 4 years ago from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York Author

To Rena, Amen a multillion times. Of course, they are ENVIOUS of us. Well, why not? We have our parents all to ourselves without constant interruptions from other sibs. We are the ULTIMATE birth order. We are firstborns without the sorrows and tribulations that OLDEST children have. I frankly would never want to be an OLDEST child. We will ALWAYS be our parents' favorites. When there are siblings, there is drama, drama, drama!

People with siblings have so much angst that us onlies do not have. We onlies live better, are more likely to attend tertiary and higher education. We are smarter because we grew up in an adult environment. We are better behaved and considerate of others. Look at people with siblings- oh my goodness! Rena, you know what I mean! Rena, you have said a mouthful and I could not have agreed with you more! You are free to stop by anytime!

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