My Selfish Tears
Jonda is Home
Tears have flowed and flowed.
I screamed at God, "How could you take her away from me?" God's answer-a hug from my Grandson and a tiny, "I love you Paw-paw."
Why do I cry and scream at God?
Jonda, my wife of almost 30 years, is now home. She is with Jonathan. Jonda is with her Dad, her Mom and her big sister, Kelly, who died as a result of a car accident years ago.
So why do I cry?
You see, I thought God gave Jonda to me forever, and I realize that He did, but in spirit. I have felt my love's kisses on the back of my neck telling me it will be all right.
As my Grandson sits on my lap right now, I have realized that I still have work to do. I want my wife proud of me when I see her again.
I must thank all my friends and family who have tried to comfort and console me in this time.
I have come to a place where I wonder if I am not the 21st century Job. Job did not lose his faith and neither will I. Yea, evil has made a mess in my life, but I know and trust God will and can make it all good.
I have wondered if God was punishing me for past sins, but His Word doesn't agree with that thought pattern, after all, I asked God to forgive those sins by the Blood of Jesus, and His Word says He remembers them no more.
Lord, I ask you to guide me and lead me where You want me. I ask wisdom to guide me through this life's mysteries and decisions. I ask knowledge to use that wisdom for You and the fulfilling of Your Kingdom. I ask Your Grace when my thoughts or actions are out of line of Your Will and Your gentle hand will guide me back. I thank you my Father for the beautiful wife you blessed me with. All Praise and Honor to you my God; in the Holy name of Jesus Christ, my Savior.
A good internet friend of mine; Chris Esty who has The Bible Post, sent me this video which moved me and let me know there is still good in this world. Thanks Chris.
Over the time I have been a member of hub pages, I have penned a few hubs about my loving wife.
The links below are all hubs about or for Jonda.
I love you babe and I miss your touch and your smile.
- Life For My Wife
The day started as any other. As normal as normal can be in our household. My wife, Jonda, had just underwent triple bypass surgery on her heart. She seemed to be doing well with all that she has dealt with....
- Life With a Diabetic Wife
Diabetes can and does cause other medical situations.It has been like a roller -coaster ride in our lives. When we were first married my wife was very healthy.No problems what-so-ever.One key to all that...
- Diabetic America
I was feeling really weird. I had a drink just a little earlier but only one. My head was swimming and I just didn't feel right. My wife, who is diabetic, decided to check my blood sugar. My God! The...
- Faith In A Surgeon's Hands
The drive from Lebanon, Missouri to Springfield, Missouri was a long quiet one. I glanced at my wife of 27 years and saw a tear rolling down her cheek. It was all finally sinking in. I pulled the car over and...
- GodMade Technology
Yesterday, God reminded me of His Power and Might. He showed me once again that He is in control of every situation in our lives. Many of you know I have been seeking employment and the going has been...
- Our Trip To The Pumpkin Patch
The last week has had me doing a retaining wall job in which I drove past this pumpkin farm daily. When my wife told me she wanted a couple pumpkins and some pretty mums, I decided to take her to the place...
- Why Have A Health Department?
I just want to scream! My wife has been on kidney dialysis here in Lebanon, Missouri for about 2 years. Very often she comes home sick. I have questioned this but was told it was normal. At this moment my...
© 2010 Greg Boudonck
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