How to Deal with Children who Suffer From ADHD

My son Dillon
My son Dillon

Dillon is ADHD

I have three children, when my son, the middle child, started kindergarten I knew it was going to be a big battle. There became a time when the school informed me he had to seek a psychologist or would be suspended until he did because he was flipping out in school. He would have outbursts and even act violent at times. The psychologist asked a few questions about his behavior and diagnosed him with having ADHD.

ADHD stands for attention-deficit hyperactivity disorder. Children with ADHD have difficulty paying attention to details and tend to make careless mistakes in school or activities. Although Dillon has difficulty paying attention in school be possessed a 98 grade point average. His teachers would say, Dillon had not payed attention all day because he was too busy disrupting the class when they were trying to review for a test but, the next day he would get 100 on the test. They couldn't understand how this was possible. Dillon has many of the impulsive symptoms of ADHD which include, no patience, blurting out answers before the question has been completed, difficulty waiting his turn, often interrupts on others to the point of causing problems in social settings, and he initiates conversations at inappropriate times. My son also often engages in dangerous activities without worrying about what the consequence will be.

The doctor prescribed medication for him to try. My sons father and I split up when Dillon was about 4 and he stated, No son of mine will be taking any medication". At the time Dillon only visited his father twice a month. I on the other hand was willing to at least try it. I wanted Dillon better but I wasn't so sure medication was the answer. The medication made him lethargic and just not Dillon, so I stopped giving it to him. The medication was also habit forming and I did not want him addicted to it. I also put Dillon into counseling. His counselor also went to school with him. Whenever Dillon had an out burst in the school the counselor was able to remove him from class. If things got to out of hand my husband or I would have to go get him and take him home. This only occurred a few times. There was on incident where his father came and picked him up after not behaving in school and took him out for ice cream. I was not very happy he would reward him for bad behavior. The counselor and I would also keep a journal with each other. If he was not behaving in school I would find out and be able to punish him appropriately such as not allowing him to play any video games that night. It seems that when Dillon doesn't get his way, he flips out. I hate to blame anyone but I feel a lot of this behavior is contributed by his father. When I was with his father he would act the same way. When he didn't get his way or if he was drunk he would also become violent. I had finally left him and went into a woman's shelter when I was pregnant for my daughter.

The behavior is so hard to understand and or deal with at times. There's times where he is flipping out on such little things. I am so afraid he is going to hurt his sister one day because he is always hitting her. He says such hurtful things at times and then afterwords he is sorry for saying it and apologizes.

I love my son greatly and he is a smart, and funny child but my son is not currently in any counseling at this time because his father does not want to believe there is any thing wrong with his child but he is in need of it. His behavior will not get any better with out a change in his fathers parenting skills and some deep needed counseling.


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Comments 9 comments

kmackey32 profile image

kmackey32 4 years ago from Pittsburgh PA Author

The courts finally interviened and made it so Dillon is court ordered counseling and treatment.


ssety profile image

ssety 6 years ago from Manila

I know exactly how you feel. We are in the same boat. May you always find the grace and the strength esp in the most difficult moments.


kmackey32 profile image

kmackey32 6 years ago from Pittsburgh PA Author

I have joint custody of the children with there father. The father will not accept the fact there is something wrong. Last week my son was throwing a tantrum and trying to hurt his sister and throwing stuff, even making statements he was going to kill me. It took 5 people at my house to restrain him. In the end he stated he acted that way because he was mad at his father for hitting him on his birthday.


ADHD EXPERT 7 years ago

If you have full custody of your son, I think you should be able to make the decision regardless of what his father thinks. FULL custody, I believe, includes exclusive rights to make educational and medical decisions for our child. (I might be wrong?) Either way, if your husband DOES have some legal say so, then your 50% should weigh as heavily as his, and you could get child services involved if you choose to send Dillon (and you and your daughter, especially) to a counselor regarding the ADHD, and you believe that he is undermining your efforts to help Dillon when Dillon is with him. For example, if your family is in therapy to help Dillon, and your husband tells Dillon that the therapy is BS,and he doesn't need to go,then you could report that to child services. That is emotional abuse or something . .. he is toying with the child's mind. It is inappropriate. You will WIN,too, b/c it will be obvious that you are willing to do whatever it takes to help your son, and he is in denial, which will NOT help Dillon. It might be stressful for Dillon at first if the two of you are arguing over him, but I promise you, the good that will come from winning this battle for Dillon will far outweigh the price he has to pay temporarily by listening to his Dad complain.


Ladybythelake55 profile image

Ladybythelake55 7 years ago from I was Born in Bethesda, Maryland and I live in Chicago,IL

I don't believe there is such a diagnose of ADHD, my psychiatrist says there is a diagnose of ADD because adults get it too. I have some friends that treat ADD with natural diet and one of the foods in the natural diet is chocolate. It works just as well as those stimulants and other meds they give you to medicate and poison your child with. My litle brother over came his ADD with and by more physical activity and one was swimming. Even the new meds for ADD and the fictious ADHD have side effects to them- it isn't worth the accepted risks of taking them.


Dolores Monet profile image

Dolores Monet 7 years ago from East Coast, United States

Your son sounds so special in so many ways. He must be extremely intelligent to absorb the class lesson without paying attention. It sounds like he just has not met with the right counselor or doctor.


reviyve profile image

reviyve 7 years ago from New York

I feel you on caring for a child with special needs. They can bring you the greatest joy and a ton of stress. But we do what mom's do. We press on!

Michelle


tantrum profile image

tantrum 7 years ago from Tropic of Capricorn

Sorry 2 hear bout it. Nothing 2 say. only don't let go.


AsherKade profile image

AsherKade 7 years ago from Texas

wow....I need to do a hub on my son's autism(if I dared exposed my kid on the net).Absolutely the pits. Kudos to you for having a good attitude towards Dillon.

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