My Mother

My Mother

My mother for the longest time was like my best friend. There is a term out there "mommas boy", and I guess this term applied to me. When I was in third grade my family moved away and we had to start out in a new place. I had to meet new friends and fit in at a new school. Shortly after that my mother and father got a divorce. Living with just my mother was an experience that made us grow close. My father and I kinda had a falling out and did not see each other often. Through the years me and my mother had our ups and downs like your average people. My mother did some things I am quite sure she felt bad for down the road. To explain this a little deeper, my mother had a drinking problem and she unfortunately devoted a lot of her time to this "hobby". We all have our faults and I am not angry with her for hers. Although my mothers faults she always put me first, and sometimes gave me things that I wanted and were outside her means, in order to make me happy.

The First Death

Shortly after I graduated high school my grandmother had a stroke and became very sick. To move back shortly my mother had moved three hours north in my senior year of high school. Wanting to finish my final year of high school were I started I moved in with my grand parents. So back to where we started when my grandmother got sick her and my grandfather moved north to be close to my mother so she could help out. They had my grandmother in a nursing home for awhile and I tried to visit once and awhile. Being young and dealing with this for the first time I did not act as I should have. My grandmother was mostly out of it and was not the person I knew, and this was very hard for me to deal with. When I went to visit, which was not as often as it should have been, I did not stay long and therefore didn't see her much in her last days. I loved my grandmother very much and when she passed it was very hurtful. I started using lots of various drugs, thinking I was having fun, trying to ease the pain. My mother took this loss very hard and started dealing with her pain the way she knew best. The drinking increased majorly and she slacked off on her responsibilities, became a bad employee and dated some very big loser men. This all began in between '97 and '98.

Death number two

At the end of 2002 my grandfather was diagnosed with leukemia. This sent a major shock wave through the family. My mother was very hurt and scared, after losing her mother, she didn't want to lose another parent. I had my first son in 2000 and we tried to take him up north as often as possible to visit with my mother and grandfather. Grandpa enjoyed having a young child around and had large smiles on his face whenever we were around. My mother also enjoyed seeing her grandson and loved to take him for weekends and they would just hang out. So when this happened to grandpa we were up there almost every weekend, so my son could get to know him as best as possible. I also wanted to get in what time I could with my grandfather. I remember going up north one weekend in hunting season with my father in law, brother in law, and one of my close friends. On the Sunday I decided not to go out and spend some time with grandpa, we fixed a dinner and watched the Detroit Lions game while the others were out hunting. It was a great day spent with grandpa and one of the last I remember. I think it was the weekend before Thanksgiving we went north and had our family dinner earlier. On Sunday we had dinner and visited before heading home. Of course we watched the Lions game and just hung out. We got together for Christmas, and then our birthday's in February. The get together in February was the last time we saw him. I remember on Sunday getting ready to go telling him we would see him soon and he had a look in his eye like he knew the truth and it worried me. A couple of days later, my mom called me and said he had passed away in the middle of the night while she was at work. She had taken this very hard believing it was her fault because she was at work and not there to help him. This was very rough loosing another important person in our lives, and was very hard to explain what it meant to our son. A few months after this happened she moved down closer to her grandson and spent lots of time with him. She would watch Tyler while me and his mother were at work. In the beginning of the next year we found out that we were having another child. My mother was so ecstatic over this, she would be there to see the birth of her new grandson, and could help plan the baby shower. I was unsure if my first son was mine and did not include my mother on this information, so she was excited to be in on this one. Shortly after finding out we were having another child, I proposed to my now wife. My mother was overfilled with excitement, a new baby on the way and now her son was getting married.

The big surprise

My mothers birthday is February 5th, my wife's is February 10th, and mine is on the 19th of February. In the beginning of March my aunt took all of us out for lunch for our birthdays. We traveled north up by her house and went out to a very nice restaurant for lunch. It was a great day out and we were all having a good time. Shortly after drinks and appetizer arrived my mother began having a asthma attack. We tried all of her medicines and nothing was working, so I ran in the restaurant and called 911. When an emergency is happening and you are waiting for help it seems like an eternity goes by. This day that was supposed to be special ended up being the biggest tragedy of my life thus far. When we got to the hospital they took us into a room. In this room they explained that my mother had passed and there was nothing they could do. I never wanted to hurt someone so innocent in my life before this moment. My life changed at this moment and my mother never got to meet the grandchild she was so excited to see. The baby shower was not scheduled to happen for a couple of weeks yet and the marriage was not till the end of the year. My mother missed out on everything that meant so much to her up until this moment. The one thing I remember from this day, and I don't know if it means anything or not, was that my mother was drinking water on today's date. You may ask what importance this is but by this time in the day the normally would be drinking. Not a day goes by that I don't miss this women, we may have had plenty of moments fighting and arguing. Most of the time she was my best friend and now I have to tell my children who she was, because she is not here to show them. I guess the only moral of this story is to stay close to those most important you never know when they are going to go. My mother was 46 years old when she passed, and not ill with any terminal disease.

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