Different Stages of Child's Growth

Rules to Guide a Child

I recently heard an educationist suggesting a rule to guide children in a very thought provoking way. Though, it sounded very strange but when thought over it and analysed I considered it to be a very proper step.

The educationist suggested that to inculcate right values in a child and help it to grow with a healthy mind, the concerned people, must follow a specific rule. Children, men in the making, must be treated differently according to their age.


Child as God

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Child as King

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Teenagers as Slave

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Child as Friend

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Stages of Growth

The age of a child during the growing phase should be divided into four stages. Every stage has its own tackling process. The divisions are as such:

1) Zero month to three years- Treat the child as God. This is the age when a baby is almost like an Almighty. It must be respected and worshiped as its creator.

2) Four to twelve years- Let the child feel like a king. Give it, all the importance. Make him think one among others. Giving priority does not mean to allow the child to do misdeeds or ignore his disrespectful attitude. Over pampering must be avoided. It’s only to give the child a little value and not simply ignore it for being a kid. As for example- take a little help from the child or involve it in some small decision making or a little preference over the rest and so on.

3) Thirteen to nineteen years- Just treat the child as a slave, physically and mentally, both. Treating like a slave dose not mean that the responsible elders have to be inhuman. The basic thing is to prepare the child mentally and physically strong. Will power to be strengthened. Make the child ready for this world which is full of varied challenges. Pampering at this age, fulfilling all the unjustified demands and tolerating its misbehavior mean a bad man in the making. This needs to be carefully checked and handled properly. If we fail to do so then there is a high probability that the child will not be self dependent rather will be lazy, ill-mannered and self-centered.

Recently, I discussed the condition of considering the teenagers as slave with the present teenagers and 'no' is the one word in which they shot back. The teenagers of this age completely disagree with the thought of considering them as slave. They are not ready to understand the meaning of the word 'slave' that it only represents the strengthening of mind and body by making them do their own work. The teenagers take 'slave' as a derogatory word. They feel 'slave' is similar to bonded labor. Today's teenagers think that all their freedom will be axed and they will be treated in a bad manner.

I feel that the way the teenagers think is only because of the parents' over pampering. The working parents are able to afford a lot and they, as seen in many cases, are never bothered to instill few basic things in their child. Unintentionally, they encourage them to be dictators who intentionally will do nothing on their own but expect everything to be done by others. If this persists without any constraint then I am sorry to say that the day is not far away when the parents will become the slave of their own children.

Here, a huge responsibility is on the parents' shoulder. Doing little things at home, sharing responsibilities with others in the family, accepting liberty within limitation, making no undue demands or be considerate according to one's own family and not try to act by comparing with any other family and much more should be constantly mentioned to the children of any age. Especially parents of the teenagers must talk to them in regular intervals. Teenagers of the present age are extremely exposed to the luxuries and comfort so they are unwilling to shed the available facilities. In such a situation the parents must handle them with care and very softly keep on reminding the basics which may not be instantly effective but in the long run will prove to be quite good and help to build a healthy generation.

4) Twenty and on-wards- Make the child a friend. The moment the child becomes a friend it leads to a healthy environment. During this stage everything under the sky can be discussed without hesitation. The doubts of a child can be clarified openly. This gives an ample opportunity to a child, a bud, who for sure can bloom like a flower with fragrance, i.e. with umpteen good qualities.

Trying to Follow

The above mentioned stages of a child are quite interesting. I feel if the above written stages of child's growth is followed while guiding a child then it will be of much help. I have started imbibing it and using it upon my ten year old child. My child, is going through the second stage, and believe me, paying him a little more importance brings a big smile on his face., Naturally, he performs his work with extra zeal.

Expecting you all to think over and give it a go, I am confident it will turn out to be a wonderful training process. Make a move.

Caution- To go by the given norms, extreme rigidity must be avoided because we should not forget that every child is a different human being.

Present Observation regarding the Third Stage

At present my son falls under the third stage. He has just stepped into teens but I have come to understand that how difficult it is to handle a teenager. That means coming six years will be very crucial for him as well as for me too. In fact, I have understood teenagers are very hard to tackle. They usually try to avoid work and shun the responsibility on others shoulder, be it on young or aged, and simply love to relax. Whatever is being said to them gets protested because they never try to accept easily the words of their elders. This creates a rift between the two, children and parents and guardians.

I have noticed, my child hardly wants to do work, be it easy or complicated, and especially asks favor from his father. This is not acceptable because the child will never learn to share work-load so it should be confronted, not in an ugly way but try to make the child understand the need of the time.

I wonder when I was in the third stage of my childhood days then how much I have made my parents suffer. It's truly a most difficult stage for every parent to be able to handle his/her child.

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Comments 17 comments

jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 5 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

This is an interesting way to see the development of the person - and how he should be treated. It's a combination of Piagete's cognitive development and Erik Erikson's Social development. I see some Vygotsy in the "slave" part as well. In the end every stage requires specific styles and methods. Cool hub.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 5 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Thanks, jpcmc. Your comment has made me inquisitive and I'll try to learn about the above mentioned specific developments explained by some thinkers. I am a very small fry and so my hub was simply based upon day to day analysis. Thanks again as it's very encouraging.


jayb23 profile image

jayb23 5 years ago from India

Brilliant hub shampa and I have to add a must read for all the parents and waana be parents. U have beautifully expressed how to treat your child. keep up the good work. Sharing this hub with all!!


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 5 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello! jayb23,

Thanks for such an overwhelming comment. I am thrilled.


sankari.nayagam profile image

sankari.nayagam 5 years ago

A very nice article! As you said children should be handled differently at different ages. We spoil them by not treating them properly at the right age. It is tough to handle kids during their teens, but treating them like slaves might also lead to to some bad results. Each child is different as you said. Well written


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 5 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello sankari.nayagam,

You read it that is my privilege but simply missed to response. Extremely sorry for it.

Treating a child like a slave does not mean that they will be treated like a bonded labour. It is to prepare them for the future hardship. I personally feel nothing should be enforced upon a teen. Elaborate discussion and logical explanation with proper understanding can easily change the mindset of the teens. The meaning of slave must be clearly explained to them. I am sure that the most of the teens will understand the context and will be ready to abide by it.

Thanks for appreciating my writing.


Monisajda profile image

Monisajda 5 years ago from my heart

I see a good value in what you have written here. I am not past the first two stages so far but have been naturally inclined to treat my babies and toddlers as gods. Meaning that I never questioned their cries and never assigned them some manipulative value. I listened to my babies and answered their cries, questions, took care of their needs thinking they are human beings as much as I am. This goes against the very mainstream opinion that children are a bother and must be ignored or they will be spoilt. Many parents choose deliberately to not pick up their crying babies because they believe they will raise a manipulative kid. They tend to ignore their offspring because today's fad is to be a self-absorbed adult who believes kids are less important. Then when their children become teens they are showered with luxuries because parents have never created a bond with them and feel guilty so they compensate for lack of closeness with expensive presents.

Interesting read!


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 5 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello Monisajda,

Your comment reflects that you are an adorable mother. May you remain like this!

I believe that the present generation is getting spoilt only because of their parents. Parents must check their attitude.

Thanks for reading.


V Kumar profile image

V Kumar 4 years ago

Very interesting and informative hub. Learnt a few insights here.


Janine Huldie profile image

Janine Huldie 4 years ago from New York, New York

Wow, very insightful hub. I taught middle school students and can tell you that your point about this generation is spot on and how their parents treat them as well. If only these parents would read your article and take a bit of direction from you on this one, these young teens may have a shot. Furthermore, being a friend to your twenty something child is so very true and found this is the age I began to have a more friend like relationship with my own mother. Nice job here, voted and shared too!


kelleyward 4 years ago

Shampa, I really love reading hubs like this one. The language is a little different but the meaning behind it is very similar. What a fantastic way to approach child-rearing. Thanks for sharing this! Kelley


Vellur profile image

Vellur 4 years ago from Dubai

Great hub, bringing up a child is a lot of responsibility. Your hub offers valuable advice to follow. Thanks for sharing. Voted up.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello V Kumar,

Thanks a lot for applauding my hub. It indeed helps in managing the children of the different age groups.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello Janine Huldie,

I am extremely happy to be appreciated for this hub. The comment based upon your teaching experience has added a value to my work. I feel, we parents are following some wrong methods to manage the kids and that's why the situation goes out of control. Children must be treated as friends after a certain age then the atmosphere of the house remains very sweet and healthy which helps the children to be more and more positive in their approach. Thanks again for your utmost support.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello kelleyward,

Thanks a lot for your appreciation. It is indeed a good and quality approach. One question I want to ask you. Hope you won't mind! What do you mean by ' The language is a little different but...' ? I want to know it just because if I am wrong then I would like to correct it. Kindly, convey me if I am wrong. I will be thankful to you.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 4 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA Author

Hello Vellur,

You always appreciate wholeheartedly which makes my hub special. Bringing up a child in a proper manner is indeed a big responsibility and this concept of managing them really helps a lot. Thanks again.


radhikasree profile image

radhikasree 3 years ago from Mumbai,India

A nice read on parenting. It's really a Herculean task to handle children at their various ages for parents these days. Voted up, useful and interesting. Pinned it to my board parenting.

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