Overcome Discouragement with Resolve

What do you do when you are discouraged?

  • Feel sorry for yourself.
  • Talk to a friend.
  • Pray and read something inspirational.
  • Kick yourself in the pants and get going.
  • A combination of the above.
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Things do not always work out the way that we think they will. We plan and prepare, work and sweat, and something happens to throw us off course. Things change, people move in and out of our realm of influence, or someone's actions leave us wondering who is really in charge. It is at times like these that it would be easy to just give up and give in, to let life go on by. We just don't have the strength to pick up and move on.

Family life is especially vulnerable. Parents work hard, putting in long hours to provide a living for the family, taking care of their children, and keeping chores done in the home. They may feel unappreciated, even unloved, especially when others say and do things that appear to be insensitive. Life with its many demands leaves us with little time to see the affect our actions have on those we love the most.

Discouragement comes when we are at our weakest moments, when our self-esteem is in question, and our physical strength has been spent. Expectations may not have been met, feelings left unresolved, and dreams unfulfilled. It comes when there is still month left at the end of the money; when loved ones have made choices we do not condone, and when, in spite of our best efforts, things are just not working out the way we had hoped.

Everyone experiences these moments, yet some are more able to overcome them than others. How is it possible? Is there a magic formula that allows a person to just go forward, in spite of these things? Not really, but there are things that we can do. Successful people and families use resolve to overcome their discouragement. Read on to find out how you can, too!

The sources of our discouragement are as varied as we are from one another, yet they all have one thing in common, they leave us feeling vulnerable.

Sources of Discouragement
Core Values in Question
Financial setbacks
Ability to provide for our own
Relationship issues
Sense of belonging and acceptance
Spiritual droughts
Source of inspiration and motivation
Physical ailments
Health and strength
Limited resources
Problem solving capacity
Discouragement comes during our moments of greatest weakness.
Discouragement comes during our moments of greatest weakness. | Source

The thing that makes discouragement difficult is that it comes when we are at our lowest. Our self-esteem is on the rocks because our core values are not being validated. We want our family's needs to be met, therefore we work at our jobs and careers with that objective in mind. When there is a financial setback, we don't know how our family's needs will be met, therefore, are own feelings of self-worth are being challenged.

Relationship issues strike the hardest. When there is unresolved conflict or communication is hampered, we begin to wonder if we are really loved and accepted. Our desire for a sense of belonging is not being met due to the conflict that clouds the communication channels. Our eyes become blind to the good, and criticism takes over.

Inspiration and motivation are lost when we experience spiritual drought. We feel that the heavens are closed, and there is no place to go for the assurance that we are worthwhile and loved. The scriptures become mere words rather than healing water to our parched souls.

When we and those we love have physical ailments, our time and energy are focused on helping them get well. When short term illness turns into chronic issues or long-term disabilities, our health and strength become taxed as we put forth continued effort without reprieve.

Limited resources affect our ability to solve the problems that plague our lives. When we don't have the knowledge, skills, time, and money to get the help we need, what can we do? Life becomes a series of never-ending crises and we have to rely on others. Then we feel less than worthy because we know that we should be standing on our own.

These issues become sources of discouragement as we loose our sense of security about the future. We aren't sure what is going to happen, and the things we did in the past aren't working any more. We don't see a way for our goals to be accomplished, therefore, we begin to question our ability to go on.

Discouragement says:

  • You can't!
  • You are not good enough!
  • You'll never make it!
  • It is just too hard.
  • This is taking way too long.
  • What is the use?
  • Why even try?
  • No one seems to care anyway.

When discouragement sets in, the ability to move forward slows down. Little things become big things, misunderstandings increase, and anger flares. The fear of not being able to resolve the situation is strong, and family members become uneasy. We ask ourselves:

What is happening? Are we doing something wrong? Do we need to change our direction? Is it possible to get back on track?

"Life moves in one direction only - and each day we are faced with an actual set of circumstances, not with what might have been,not with what we might have done, but with what is, and with where we are now - and from this point we must proceed: not from where we were, not from where we wish we were - but from where we are."

- Richard L. Evans* -

In order to break the stale-mate, we have to do something. Discouragement hurts. Staying in it means giving up and giving in, allowing the negative to get worse. Unfortunately, discouragement becomes despondency, and then depression, with its accompanying hopelessness, helplessness, and worthlessness.

Resolve says:

  • I'm not going to quit.
  • I can do this!
  • I will make it!
  • Things will get better!
  • We can figure this out.
  • There is a way!

Step 1: Decide to go forward

Congratulations! This is resolve. We have made the decision to go forward in spite of the situation and have found the strength to move on. Yes, it is an uphill battle, but that is okay. Getting out of the pit of despair is worth it! Despair is not a pleasant place to be, and others usually don't want to come there to join us!

Step 2: Recognize temporary setbacks

Resolve allows us to see the situation differently. Although things are difficult, they are not impossible.Temporary setbacks are just that, temporary. They are things that happen in the business of life that derail our efforts to make life good for us and our families. They may have to do with changes in employment, accidents that injure us or someone we love, or businesses that go under, requiring us to find services elsewhere. The common denominator is that additional time is required to meet our goals.

Step 3: Turn obstacles into stepping stones

Obstacles are things that get in the way that have to be figured out and dealt with. Opposition is part of our existence, and when something happens that seems to be in the way of us reaching our goals, it simply means that we need to get stronger, smarter, or better. Problems can be solved. They require planning and preparation, and these are necessary parts of life. The great part is, we become better people because of them!

Set 4: Rework goals and objectives

Goals and objectives can be changed, they are not set in stone. We do not have to abandon them simply because something didn't work out the way we wanted. Life does not necessarily happen in the order that we think that it should. Adopting an attitude of flexibility allows us to adjust as changes happen. That way, we can still become and do, but perhaps in a different way that we originally anticipated. Fortunately for us, there are powers beyond our own that are in force in the universe, and what happens is usually for the best.

"Life is thickly sown with thorns, and I know no other remedy than to pass quickly through them. The longer we dwell on our misfortunes, the greater is their power to harm us."

- Voltaire* -

Sources of Discouragement
Resolve to
Financial setbacks
Acquire new skills and look for opportunities
Relationships issues
Seek understanding, common interests, and goals to work on together,
Spiritual droughts
Humble yourself and repent, if necessary
Physical ailments
Eat right, rest, and exercise
Limited resources
Go back to the basics, find role models
With resolve, we overcome our discouragement and find peace and happiness.
With resolve, we overcome our discouragement and find peace and happiness. | Source

"The business of life is to go forward."

- Samuel Johnson* -

As we go forward, our resolve increases, as well as the ability to deal with life's disappointments. We find that we have more strength than we originally thought. The action of going forward increases that strength, and gives us the initiative to do what it takes to get back on track.

Life is a series of lessons. The sooner we learn them and incorporate that learning into our everyday existence, the sooner we will find peace and happiness. Take the time now. Overcome discouragement with resolve, for your emotional health!

*Quotes in this hub are from "The Richard L. Evans Quote Book," copyright 1971, Publishers Press, Salt Lake City, Utah.

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17 comments

Sue Bailey profile image

Sue Bailey 3 years ago from South Yorkshire, UK

Voted up and interesting. Shared with my followers. I am a fighter because I have had to be. Life has thrown me some major curve balls and struggle has been almost constant but whilst I have descended into the pit of despair from time to time I have got through so I guess I must have resolve. Thanks for this it put things into perspective for me.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean

I love the Richard L Evans quote. It's all about moving forward inspired by our sense of purpose instead of taking time off to lick our wounds. Thanks for the inspiration. Voted Up and Useful!


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

I'm glad that you stopped by, Sue. You are a fighter. You have made it this far in life with all that has happened. I'm glad that I was able to help you recognize your own resolve. It will make you stronger as you go forward, knowing that you will get through the tough times. Your choice to help others has been a big part of that. Thanks for reading, commenting, and sharing!

I appreciate your comments, MsDora, and that the quote was inspiring for you. I found it very helpful in understanding what resolve is, and how going forward helps us to keep our perspective during the difficulties of life.


DrRebeccaSanders profile image

DrRebeccaSanders 3 years ago from Indiana

Nicely done, Denise! I'm finding your posts useful, informative, and well-written. I'm glad I took some time to look closer at your work!


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks, DrRebeccaSanders! My goal is to help others to find the peace and happiness I have found as I work toward my own emotional health. There always seem to be new issues that come up, throwing wrenches into the gears of our lives. It is easy to get stuck and now know how to get out or through. I appreciate your positive feedback!


Kate Mc Bride profile image

Kate Mc Bride 3 years ago from Donegal Ireland

This hub is so well put together and makes so much sense. I have bookmarked it to read again and I look forward to reading more of your work. Thank you


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

I'm glad that you found the hub to be helpful, Kate. It was an area of my life that I needed to work on, and writing the hub helped me to get through a difficult time. I hope that it will help you as you read it. Thanks for stopping by and leaving positive comments!


Kate Mc Bride profile image

Kate Mc Bride 3 years ago from Donegal Ireland

Thanks for your feedback Denise. I am the same- I write about what helps me make sense of the world. The common sense and practical guidelines of your other hubs as well just make great reading.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks, Kate. It is good to know that something I have written is useful and helpful. Take care!


Raitu Disong profile image

Raitu Disong 3 years ago

Thank you Denise for this awesome hub!

God bless:)


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Thanks for the encouraging comment, Raitu Disong! I'm glad that you found it helpful. God bless you as well.


ignugent17 profile image

ignugent17 3 years ago

Very inspiring ! In times I feel so down I would try to dwell on it for a while then I get up and do something. Thank you very much for all the wonderful ideas you have shared.

Voted up and useful. :-)


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

That is the way to do it, ignugent17! Doing things when we are feeling down gets our brain moving in a new direction and the change of focus puts us in a better mood. Life is too short to spend it groveling in the negative, we feel much better when we go through, get past, and move on! Thanks for reading and commenting.


Machashabah profile image

Machashabah 3 years ago from The Coast

This Hub was what I needed to read- especially today. I know I have to make a choice to move forward, it's just so difficult at times with the constant adversity that I have to face.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Life can be difficult Machashabah. Making the choice to move forward will give you strength and you will find the resolve to keep going from day to day. Sometimes taking one day, or even one moment or one hour, is all we can do. Check out my hub on Living in the Light of Today (see http://denise-w-anderson.hubpages.com/hub/Live-in-... for more tips on getting through the difficult times.


CraftytotheCore profile image

CraftytotheCore 3 years ago

These is such good information. One of the hardest things for me is to accept the things I cannot change. I'm not a mean-spirited person, but it seems to me there are a lot of those people, especially online. So when I work really hard at something and someone sabotages my effort to drag it down, it bothers me. I move forward, but it's hard to accept that our own effort and hard-work means very little sometimes.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 3 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota Author

Yes, CraftytotheCore, it is easy to get discouraged when you feel that your efforts are being discounted. I have had problems with the same issue, and that was one of the reasons for writing this hub. I had to figure out how to work through my discouragement, and still come out with a good attitude. There will be things that we cannot change, unfortunately, but as we continue to move forward, we can get past them and find something better. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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