Dedicated to Step-Mothers and Adopted Mothers

There is a certain monumental act which goes unnoticed, though it deserves the world’s applause. It is the choice to become a mother to another woman's child.

Below is a poem dedicated to a step-mother, an exceptionally kind woman who marries her soul mate, fully aware that he comes with little bundles obtained in a previous relationship.

Mother and Her Two Daughters

Painting by  François Pascal Simon Gérard; Photographed by Bjoertvedt,
Painting by François Pascal Simon Gérard; Photographed by Bjoertvedt, | Source

Some other women can also share this dedication. The step-mother role is only one of the many which describes women who have become mothers to children who are not theirs biologically.

  • aunts who adopt their nieces and nephews when tragedy leaves the children without parents
  • career women who marry too late to have kids of their own but select the ones they want
  • women who adopt just because their compassionate, generous hearts reach out to children who deserves live better than their present

Motherhood has its challenges, and these mothers often have a double share. Their children experience multiple layers of emotions which are overwhelming. It is not unusual for one of them, in an attempt to throw a jab at the confusion, throw it at the mother instead. Most times, the child shows immediate regret, and a mother’s heart understands.


Poem ~ Heart of a Mother

“You’re not my mother,” she screamed at me;

I heard the anger in her voice.

She could no longer ignore me;

‘Twas time for her to make a choice

Between accepting my wise counsel

And denying that I was around;

Ever since her father had married me

She thought my advice was unsound.


“You’re not my mother,” the younger joined in;

The echo did not surprise me.

The girls teamed up to create a hell

Whenever we did not agree.

Ready to date at age fifteen

And thirteen—too young by my book;

Their father requested my input

So there I stood with a caring look.


“I’m not your mother,” I gently said,

“But how I wish I could have been;

You’re two very special young women

Based on potential that I’ve seen.

I’m not surprised that those two young men

Are anxious to be your first dates;

Good women are hard to come by,

Whether as girlfriends or as mates.


Mother and Daughter Walking and Talking

Photo by Funkdooby
Photo by Funkdooby | Source

“I’m not your mother,” I rubbed it in.

“But you need a mother’s insight

To help interpret the ways of men

When wrong seems so much like the right.

It’s not that you’re foolish or wayward;

Not that I wish to see you frown

But I’d like the chance to guide you,

To love you like my very own.


“True, my womb never could produce you

But my heart doesn’t seem to know;

My bosom desires to hold you

To nurture and shield as you grow.

I’m looking ahead to the future

When a man noble like your dad

Come seeking a shrewd, worthy woman

Who showed tact when pursued by a lad."


The older one hung her head a bit

And wiped a teardrop from her face.

The younger one took that as her cue

And shuffled to my embrace.

“I’m not your mother,” I started to say,

“Forgive me,” sobbed one, then the other.

My heart forgave them before they asked,

For mine’s the heart of a mother.


You're Not My Mother

A Quick Heads Up

"You're not my mother," is a statement a stepmother can expect to hear. If you do not hear it, thank God that your relationship with your step-child is better than average.

James Lehman, MSW counsels that when a child says those words, it is an attempt to:

  • take away your power
  • invite you to a fight

Do not take it personally; the child would have said it to any other woman. It is probably not even about you, but just the child's way to create a situation in which he or she can release anger, frustration, confusion or any other negative emotion.

Stick to your post as caregiver. Be firm but remain approachable. Say nothing judgmental about the biological parents and look for an opportunity to be loving.


© 2011 Dora Isaac Weithers

More by this Author

  • 50 Reasons to Thank Mother
    58

    Knowing that some of my reasons to thank my mother will remind you of some reasons to thank yours, I invite you to read with pen and paper in hand and make your list at the same time you read mine.

  • Six Titles for Mother: A Family Project
    36

    Six titles seem adequate in a tribute to a good mother, one title for each letter in the word MOTHER. Find suggested words here, and make it a family project. Your creativity will make her proud.

  • 52 Workplace Quotes For Weekly Morale Boosts
    22

    People and situations in the workplace threaten our equilibrium and help create stress. These selected quotes will help to reduce stress and renew our minds to peace, purpose and productivity.


Comments 53 comments

quatrain profile image

quatrain 5 years ago

Well done. What a gift for language you have. I am giving this a thumbs up and bookmarking it. Loved the line"It is not unusual for one of them, in an attempt to throw a jab at the confusion, throw it at the mother instead".


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, quatrain. The line you picked states a truth that mothers, and all concerned, need to understand. Thanks for your encouragement.


WookieWonderfuls profile image

WookieWonderfuls 5 years ago from London, UK

Thank you, this is beautiful :)


Zabbella profile image

Zabbella 5 years ago from NJ-USA

Oh MsDora, that was beautiful! It put a lot of love on a very serious subject.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks Wookie. I appreciate your comment.

Thanks you, Zabbella. Serious subject-serious love. You're right about that!


anndavis25 profile image

anndavis25 5 years ago from Clearwater, Fl.

Turning the other cheek! That's Biblical. And it works. Congratulations - now you're a poet!

Up and awesome.


denise.w.anderson profile image

denise.w.anderson 5 years ago from Bismarck, North Dakota

As a former foster parent, I wish I would have had these words to say to the children who came into our home. It would have helped ease many a difficult moment where I wanted so much to tell them I cared, but didn't know how. Thanks for your example.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks anndavis25, for the recognition. I choose to believe you.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Hi Denise. I'm sure you'll have lots of opportunity to make good on your wish; but don't be surprised that those children knew how much you cared. They understand much more than they let on. Your good works will bear fruit.


Xenonlit profile image

Xenonlit 5 years ago

You tell such a powerful story in great lyrical form. Cheers!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Xenonlit, for your encouragement. Cheers to you, too!


Sky9106 profile image

Sky9106 5 years ago from A beautiful place on earth.

This is simply great , I must not hesitate to say it, that had anyone been in those girls stead they would also had melted. That's what I see sadly missing in these times . "The Truth" A great pleasure to follow your work , and it's quite a story from the first I read months ago, but give God the praise .

I particularly love this :

In an attempt to throw a jab at the confusion, throw it at the mother instead.

No questions on the thumbs up and goodies.

Great mother and daughter picture .

Blessings I look forward..


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Sky9106. I appreciate your very kind comments. Blessings to you, also.


sofs profile image

sofs 5 years ago

This is beautiful! But, I love it more for the wealth of wisdom in your words. Thank you for sharing your wisdom as a mother.. I guess the world is in need of it.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 5 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Ahhh Sofs! That's so precious. Thanks for your encouragement.


MaestroECMcCloud profile image

MaestroECMcCloud 4 years ago from Lexington, South Carolina

Simply beautiful and very touching. If this is any indication of your work, I look forward to reading some more on here. May God continue to bless and keep you.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks Maestro. I hope you find my other articles as beautiful and touching. I appreciate the blessing and pray the same for you.


moonlake profile image

moonlake 4 years ago from America

Very beautiful. I love reading about mothers this morning. So many good hubs. Your mother is a very pretty lady. Voted up


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks moonlake, for the vote, the compliment and your support. I appreciate you.


samanthajae 4 years ago

Hi MsDora, that's a very nice poem! Reading this hub makes me more grateful for my mom too. Thanks for sharing.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Samanthajae, I'm happy for the effect the poem has on you. My response is similar. Our mothers deserve all the gratitude we can give.


Thelma Alberts profile image

Thelma Alberts 4 years ago from Germany

Beautiful!!! Thanks for sharing this. Have a great day!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Thelma. Blessings to you, also.


articlesocean profile image

articlesocean 4 years ago from London, United Kingdom

This is a great poem! i liked these lines " I’m not your mother,” I gently said,

“But how I wish I could have been; You’re two very special young women,Based on potential that I’ve seen.

I’m not surprised that those two young men

Are anxious to be your first dates" ,

The reason for liking these lines is because it's happening with parents who have teenage girls, this is the present reality. I love the way you have written it! Voted up, beautiful and awesome!


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks articles, for your affirmation. I appreciate your votes.


rajan jolly profile image

rajan jolly 4 years ago from From Mumbai, presently in Jalandhar,INDIA.

Beautiful and poignant. Your writing it in the 1st person makes it a strong poem.

The feelings of a mother are universally same whether the child is her own or is adopted.

Voted up & beautiful.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, rajan. You comment is true of any woman who appreciates the title of mother.


EuroNinila profile image

EuroNinila 4 years ago from NYC BABY

This was beautiful and I could relate in that I was once the teenage "daughter", well niece. My aunt took me and my sister in and raised us from 13 and on, and I probably told her she wasn't my mother. As a teenager I'm almost SURE it happened, hehe. Well now I'm older and I appreciate her and show it. Thanks for sharing this wonderful piece.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

You probably told her in your actions if not in words, but you didn't know better. Your attitude now is what matters. Thank God for forgiveness!


IntegrityYes 4 years ago

Rock on,Dora! That is powerful.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, IntegrityYes. You sure know how to energize a spirit.


Frank Atanacio profile image

Frank Atanacio 3 years ago from Shelton

this was fantastic Ms Dora :)


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Frank. So glad you like the poem!


oceansider 3 years ago

I love your poetry Ms Dora.....very beautiful and touching!

Thank you, I enjoyed reading your hub very much.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks, Oceansider. Glad you enjoyed the poem.


Linda Compton profile image

Linda Compton 3 years ago from The Land of Enchantment

Beautiful, Ms. Dora. Insightful, rich, and deeply moving. Thank you! L.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Thank you, Linda. Glad the poem touch you, probably because yours is also the heart of a mother.


Faith Reaper profile image

Faith Reaper 3 years ago from southern USA

Hi MsDora,

I really enjoyed this beautiful tribute to the heart of a mother. I don't know what I would have done if it were not for my sweet and precious mother in this life! Her heart was pure gold and her love, always there.

Very profound poem.

God bless you. In His Love, Faith Reaper


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Faith Reaper, glad you enjoyed the poem, and glad you enjoyed a healthy mother-daughter relationship. Thanks for your kind comments.


Sweet Epistles profile image

Sweet Epistles 3 years ago from From the Heart of God

I truly loved it and enjoyed so much reading every lines, it's rich with golden word . Thank you for the inspiration Ms.Dora.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 years ago from The Caribbean Author

Sweet Epistles, glad you enjoyed the poem. Thank you for your encouragement.


peachpurple profile image

peachpurple 19 months ago from Home Sweet Home

not all step moms are bad, they aren't cinderella or sleeping beauty mommies.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 19 months ago from The Caribbean Author

Peachy, thanks for underscoring the truth that there are good stepmothers. I agree with you and I honor every one of them.


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 19 months ago from Dallas, Texas

This beautifully expressed lesson really touched my heart, MsDora. It's so deeply meaningful and important to someone like me who was a step mom.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 19 months ago from The Caribbean Author

Peg, Happy Mothers Day! So glad you like the poem. Hope all is well.


word55 profile image

word55 19 months ago from Chicago

Tolerable describes the attitude in this situation. One must be quite patient as well under these circumstances. I'm sure there are millions of mothers that deserve high accolades in similar situations. My mom was a foster parent for over 20 years to at least, 7 children besides rearing 6 boys of her own. Thank you for sharing MsDora.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 19 months ago from The Caribbean Author

Word, your Mom deserves this kind of applause too. Hope she received much appreciation from those children. Thank for telling her story and making your observations.


Akriti Mattu profile image

Akriti Mattu 19 months ago from Shimla, India

So heart warming .Voted up :-)


MsDora profile image

MsDora 19 months ago from The Caribbean Author

Akriti, thank you and God bless you!


teaches12345 profile image

teaches12345 4 months ago

I thank God for those women in my life who stepped in to support my mother's teachings with me. This is such a beautiful encouragement for those who serve as mothers to so many others.


MsDora profile image

MsDora 4 months ago from The Caribbean Author

Thanks Teaches. Those women who step into the role of mother for other women's children truly deserve the recognition.


Shyron E Shenko profile image

Shyron E Shenko 3 months ago

MsDora, you are not my mother

But, what an honor had you been

To guide and love me

And teach me right from wrong

To avoid all sin.

How absolutely beautiful

Blessings my friend


MsDora profile image

MsDora 3 months ago from The Caribbean Author

Shyron, I am so impressed by women who are so kind to children who are not biologically theirs. Some children have received the best training they could possibly have from these women.

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