Poop Duty, My Early Morning Nightmare

Discloser

 You are about to read a true early morning horror story that happened to me recently.  I just want to point out that reader discretion is advised.  It may be disturbing to some readers especially those with a weak stomach.

Seriously, My Alarm Didn't Go Off Yet

I was in a deep state of sleeping when my fiancé woke me with the most horrific words I could have possibly heard that day, "Your son is waiting for you in the bathroom, his pull-up leaked during the night and he has poop up his back. He wants YOU!". As I sat up I was hoping I didn't hear him right but unfortunately I did. I quickly got dressed and ran downstairs to use the other bathroom and then ran to the kitchen for a garbage bag and some paper towels then quickly ran to the upstairs bathroom where my son (age 6) was patiently waiting for me. As I was rounding the corner at the top of the stairs it hit me, the strongest, most disgusting smell I have ever smelt in my years as a mom. A smell so strong that my stepson (age 9) could smell in his room, and he actually told us that when he woke up he checked his own pants fearing he may have pooped himself in his sleep. How in the world is my 2 year old still fast asleep in the bottom bunk bed with this odor punching him in the face?? I try to ignore the smell but I can't. I get to the bathroom, trying my hardest to hold my breath and hold in the gags but I am only human. I take a look at my son standing there and the thought to just run out the front door crosses my poor mind. He looks at me and says, "I musta pooped while I was sleeping and it leaked all over". The word leaked was not my choice of words for this situation, more like exploded all over. He was covered from the middle of his back down to his ankles. Oh my goodness how am I going to get the pull-up off of him and clean him up??? So as I am gaging, trying not to upset him because for some reason he was perfectly calm and the horrific smell did not appear to be bothering him, I decided to open the garbage bag and lay it on the floor. I then instructed him to step inside the bag and take the pull-up off placing it into the bag being that he was already covered in poop on his arms and hands. He did an excellent job placing it in the bag, then I quickly twisted the top closed. He climbed into the tub and I quickly grabbed the shower head, thank goodness we have one connected to the hose that comes down to a child's size. I grabbed an old washcloth out of the cabinet and started rinsing the poop off my poor son. Finally he was clean of poop, so I grabbed a new washcloth and soaped him up with the strongest great smelling body wash I could find. I helped him out of the tub, dried him up, and gave him one last check to be sure I didn't miss any spots. Clean, dressed, and downstairs he goes. Now what to do next??

By the time he was done getting cleaned up the other kids were waking up for school. My 2 year old was also woken up and taken downstairs to breathe some fresh air. There I stood alone, upstairs, unable to breath, gagging so hard it's hurting my stomach, trying to find a way to gather the courage to strip his bed. I walked over to the top bunk and I was almost knockout by the smell!! The bed was a mess, poop was everywhere from the pillows to the bottom. Then I noticed the pajama shorts he wore to bed hanging on the ladder to his bunk. I grabbed the shorts by a single thread and put them in the bag with the soiled pull-up, I was moving quickly because one can only hold their breath so long.

Cleaning

So the list of chores I had for that day was already too long and then I had to add the cleaning of an entire bedroom. I took the sheets off his bed and had to rinse them off before I could place them in the washer. One of his favorite stuffed dogs also happened to be covered from head to toe, so he too had to be cleaned up. I stuffed all the soiled bed items in a huge basket and transported them right to the basement. The sheets I placed in first washing them in hot water with extra detergent and some oxy clean. When they were done the blanket was washed the same way. Last the pillows and stuffed dog were washed.

I had to scrub the plastic mattress protector 3 different times to get the smell off of it. Then I had to scrub every inch of the wood to the bunk bed. Plus I had to steam clean the carpet because he was walking around before he woke us up, and appearantly tried to lay on the floor to sleep because at first he thought his pull-up leaked from pee not poop. (He still has a problem making it through the night, hence pull-ups) Once the carpet was done the room was clean.

But I was not done yet. Now the bathroom needs to be scrubbed. I AJAXed the tub, scrubbed the counter and sink, cleaned the toilet, pulled the carpets out, and scrubbed the tile floor on my hands and knees. As I am scrubbing the floor it hits me that he was also standing on the bathroom carpets. Well, they too got thrown in the washer that day.

My cleaning adventure that day started at 6:45 am and ended about 8:30 pm. Maybe it would have been quicker if I had someone to watch the 2 year old, but I didn't so I had to clean in waves. For example: I would run upstairs and scrub the toilet then run back downstairs before he knew I was missing. That is not an easy feat but as a mom I have learned to disappear without anyone noticing.

Laughing Now

 I had endured a complete early morning nightmare but I can still find a way to laugh at the whole situation.  I was telling my mom that I realized some of the things I was doing that day were things that only a mother is capable of doing.  You know like grabbing the clean sheet out of the washer, glancing at it to make sure there is no visible poop, and then placing the wet sheet right up against your nose and smelling it deeply to make sure it is completely clean.  How gross is that?  But as a mom those are things you do without even thinking.  I did that a lot that day, smelling each item as it came out the washer, smelling it again as it dried on the clothes line, and smelling every other stuffed animal in the bed that did not get covered in filth, just to be sure I cleaned it up perfectly for him to sleep that night.  

But the best part of all is everyone in my house other then myself is sick with stuffy noses so I had to have my mom come over and tell me if it still smelled anywhere.  I had the smell in my nose and memory and would keep catching an invisible scent of it, but she cleared my mind when she didn't smell anything bad.

All in a days work as a mom.  But next time they better just wait until my alarm goes off.  What was another 15 minutes?

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Comments 6 comments

drbj profile image

drbj 6 years ago from south Florida

Well, Jill, you did it. This has to be the "stinkiest" hub I have ever read. Because of your realistic rendition of the poop episode, I swear I can smell the stuff a few thousand miles away.

You have my deepest sympathy. I can remember similar "poopy" episodes with my kids once in awhile, but nothing, nothing like this. You get the S.H.I.T. award - So Happy It's Through.


JillKostow profile image

JillKostow 6 years ago from Pennsylvania Author

drbj-Thanks for reading and commenting. You may just be able to smell the stuff being that the smell did need to travel somewhere outside of my home!! I just hope that was something that only can happen once to a mom in a lifetime. I really do not want to ever relive a day like that again.

I am pleased to accept the S.H.I.T. award, atleast I got something from the experience!!!


Suki C profile image

Suki C 6 years ago from Andalucia, Spain

Not having kids myself you certainly deserve a bravery award for that - I've also noticed though, as the woman of the house, that I automatically get the poop duty on the rare occasions that one of my dogs goes somewhere inappropriate!!


JillKostow profile image

JillKostow 6 years ago from Pennsylvania Author

Suki C - unfortunately as women I think it automatically falls into our laps most of the time to clean up the gross messes. But then again maybe it is just because women are braver than men when it comes to cleaning up poop. Thanks for commenting.


Brutus Orkney profile image

Brutus Orkney 5 years ago from AZ

Haha, you know the fact is this: God gave us kids, so they could poop in their pants or bed, so we could see what a REAL mess is, so we could realize that all of the other s**t we encounter out in the world really isn't that bad....Congrats on dealing with an absolute morning nightmare!


JillKostow profile image

JillKostow 5 years ago from Pennsylvania Author

Brutus Orkney-Thanks for the comment. You made a good point s**t we encounter in the world is nothing compared to the mess your kids supply you with cleaning it up.

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