Report Card Day and Positive Parenting in Competitive World

Report Card Day

Last Friday was my son’s report card day. It’s the day where the parents get to meet up with the teacher for their child review and update. I wasn’t able to get off from work early that day, but I managed to reach the school at 5pm. When I reached the classroom, most of the students have gone back with their parents. There were only 5 or 6 students left including my son. He must have waited very long. He saw me and wondered why I came so late, but he wasn’t angry. He has finished his homework (while waiting for me) a few hours ago. I told him, with so much work in the office, I have tried my best to arrive as early as I could, and it was fortunate that I could still make it before 5.30pm when the review session is supposed to end.

There were a few parents waiting in the queue. I could hear the teacher trying her best to advise the parents on how to improve their children’s academic performance in school. It seemed most students have enrolled in tuition centre. For some, the tuition really helped the child, while the rest are not reaping any fruits from it. The teacher seems to encourage such tuition after school, and she recommended some measures for better results. We feel the wait is long.

As my son sat beside me, I told him, “The position in the class is not so important. It’s just a bonus.” He is not a very competitive child by nature; however, to be first in class gives him that importance and respect in class which he appreciates.

The Exam

A month ago, as he prepared for the exams, he set the target to achieve 100% in all exam papers. My husband and I think that the target is too high, but we also admire his desire to aim high. I told him that, getting above 90% is good enough for me while my husband’s expectation is above 80%. He is proud to have higher aim than us. At the same time, I kept telling him that it is the hard work that’s more important, results is secondary.

He studied hard for the exams, and I guided him. He was willing to study, as he has the target in his mind. When he is tired, he will play his Lasy toys, read story books or cycling in the playground to take a break. The days passed by so quickly. Before we realised it, the exam is over. He was always so happy and excited on the day when teacher was going to pass down the exam paper. He obtained highest mark, nearly 100%, in the Malaysian language paper to his surprise, as he normally got around 89% for this paper. He was overjoyed. Some of the subsequent papers were not to his satisfactory, but they were all above 90% with two subjects 100%. He averaged at 94.7%. I think he did very well. However, he was upset with his marks. He said most of his papers were around 95%, not 100%. I told him, he has done so well when compared to last year. Standard one level is much easier than standard two. And yet, he did better in Standard two now, when compared to standard one. I continue to point out in the exam papers how he didn’t repeat the careless mistakes he often did last year and how he thrived easily on the difficult questions which he struggled through last year. He took it positively. He believed he did well. We then celebrated the results of his hard work before the report card day comes, and told him that the class position is just a bonus.

The Results

Back to report card day. It was finally our turn. The teacher was courteous and asked if we have waited long. I said we didn’t as I arrived late. She opened the report card and said merely a sentence: he did very well in all the subjects. He obtained second position in class! I could feel the disappointment in my son. Nevertheless, like what most mothers would do, I said good things to encourage him. I showed him how his position in the entire grade has improved tremendously. And I told him that we will go for Baskin Robbin ice-cream treat after dinner. He was happier.

After dinner, he was so excited to go to the ice-cream shop as we have not been there for years. At the ice-cream shop, he was expecting a small corn with ice-cream scoop of his selection. I think he deserves more than that. So, I chose a big bowl of ice-cream with banana for him. He was so pleased.

Baskin Robbin - Waffle Berry Sundae
Baskin Robbin - Waffle Berry Sundae

 

The reflection

On the next day, the classmates asked each others’ results in class.  He found out that the same girl has maintained her first position in class.  At night, we had a small talk.  He said, “I am glad to be the second in class, as there will be rooms for improvement. “  Then, we talked about his good friend who obtained 13th in class while he was doing really well in kindergarten. He is so positive.  He said, “The class position is just a bonus.  He shouldn’t take it too seriously. “ Then, he asked me how many students there are in his friend’s class.  I said about 50.  He said, “There are much more students doing worse than him in his class. So he is doing very well.”

Needless to say, I am so comforted by the positivity manifested in him.  

Positive Parenting Solution : How do your kids perceive it ?

Copyright

The text and all images on this page, unless otherwise indicated, are owned by Ingenira who hereby asserts her copyright on the material. Permission must be granted by the author in writing prior to copy or republish this article in print or online. However, please feel free to copy the first paragraph with a link back to this page. Thank you.

© Ingenira 2011

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Comments 20 comments

Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 5 years ago Author

Thanks for much and so nice to see you here, Shampa. Thanks for linking your hub to mine. I will check out your hubs now.


shampa sadhya profile image

shampa sadhya 5 years ago from NEW DELHI, INDIA

Voted up and beautiful. Your hub makes the reader positive so I am sure if it is practised it will definitely groom a child with full of positivity. I wrote a hub on the issue of examinees facing burden of expectation. I feel your hub is a must for the parents to read so I am taking the privilege to link my hub with this hub of yours.

Keep it up!


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

Thanks, MyMastiffPuppies, appreciate your comment. And thanks for sharing it on Digg. Children grows better with positive inputs. And adults need them too. :)


MyMastiffPuppies profile image

MyMastiffPuppies 6 years ago

Wonderful hub! I think positive parenting is so important and most of all just be interested in your children's work and well being is so important. I see so many parents who do not even take an interest in how their children are doing at school, and it is really sad for the child. Thanks for sharing a beautiful story. I voted it up and shared on Digg!


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

KoffeeKlatch Gals, thank you. Parenting is a learning process, it's always challenging, and I think that's the fun part of it...


KoffeeKlatch Gals profile image

KoffeeKlatch Gals 6 years ago from Sunny Florida

You have been doing a wonderful job of positive parenting. I wish I came in contact with more parents like you and your husband. It is a refreshing change. Thankk you for a wonderfully written hub and for being the type of parent you are. Your boy is very lucky to have you.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

thanks, M.s Fowler.


M.s Fowler profile image

M.s Fowler 6 years ago from United states

this is a well put together article about parenting!


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

thanks, Nell Rose. :)


Nell Rose profile image

Nell Rose 6 years ago from England

Hi, congratulations on him getting such high marks, I think that is very good, and you spoke about it to him perfectly, there are so many pushy parents out there, and they put pressure on the child, so this is really great advice. cheers nell


asocialscientist profile image

asocialscientist 6 years ago from Arcata, CA USA

Too bad there are some families where the success is not as keen.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

thanks, Jason. Yes, my husband and I had ice-cream that day too. :)


jasonycc profile image

jasonycc 6 years ago from South East Asia

I think you have nurtured him well. Gotta take lessons from you - we are new parents.

You should treat yourself with Baskin Robbin too as you have done well.

Love to read about your parenting experience. Voted up!


Carmela 6 years ago

Very good method of teaching the child from the beginning, away from ` you must get first or top in the class ` which gives pressure to the child instead of enjoying learning.

Well done, I am proud of you, my grandson is going to enjoy learning through out his life .

He deserves a big ice-cream.


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

Thanks, Money Glitch. :)


Money Glitch profile image

Money Glitch 6 years ago from Texas

So many kids don't get to enjoy their childhood because of the parents pushing them to be the #1 in class from preschool all the way thru high school. By the time they graduate they've lost their joy of learning. At least that's what happened to a couple of friends of mine.

Personally like the idea of finding a balance like you have. Thanks for sharing your insight. :)


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

thanks, Victor. :)


Victor 6 years ago

Great Morale, love it, and the ice cream too..


Ingenira profile image

Ingenira 6 years ago Author

Thanks, abhijeet. You wrote very well yourself.


abhijeet4800 profile image

abhijeet4800 6 years ago from Pune, India

Hey. i would say...its a nicely written life blog...Keep up the good work of positive parenting...Hey do visit my articles as well..Thanks..

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