RAISING BOYS..........and coming out alive

They're coming to take me away....aha!

Maybe things are different in this era of the highly enlightened. The generation brought forth by we Baby Boomers would have us believe they have single-handedly advanced eons from our prehistoric ways of parenting. I feel shamed into silence. They're smarter. But you need to know that I only make this concession because I've been worn down to a frazzle. I haven't the strength to argue. I'm just so grateful to have survived.

How could we possibly have known? Back in the day, the vast majority of us had children because......well because we got married and children were the next thing on the list.

Forty-two years ago we didn't have sonograms as part of our prenatal care. We were compelled to reserve both a boy's name and a girl's, stay clear of blue or pink and opt for yellow. We were given a bottle of vitamins and some pamphlets to read. If there was any discussion of weight gain, I know I for one, didn't listen.

What Dad didn't secretly hope for a BOY? A "mini-me," athlete and sparring partner.....heir to the throne. Yes Your Highness, I present you with a Prince. The world was suddenly perfect.

Apparently I thought I had done so well with the prototype, I chose to continue on with gusto. Forty-two years and four sons later, I'm still not sure what exactly was in those vitamins.

Let's face it. Babies are simply wonderful. From the moment they arrive, they consume us with such an overpowering surge of love and happiness, we're dizzy with pride. Initially I was sure the dizziness would subside. Silly me.

It's not until a few years later that we learn the first 3 or 4 years of our child's life, are a gauge exclusively for cuteness, cuddliness and of course, genius. Period. What awaits you for the remaining 16 to 20 years is one of life's best kept surprises. Whatever you're thinking, snap out of it......there's no turning back. Hang on tightly Mom, you asked for us...you got us.

At this point, I'm sure I need to make something crystal clear. My sons have always been my world.....my life.....my central purpose in being. As many times through the years I have fantasized what my life may have been without them........I've come to terms with the fact that Marilyn Monroe beat me to it.

Now, please don't judge me and think of all the many ways you might criticize my June Cleaver existence. I do not see myself as just a MOM, a one-purpose woman, a loving robot attached to a laundry basket & first-aid kit. Hell no! I'll have you bunch of snobby advanced female executives know, I have made it.........all the way to doting Grandmother!

BOYS..........what was I thinking?

Putting all unisex subject matter aside, boys and girls are different. Sons and daughters are worlds apart, despite anything you may hear, imagine or read, written by childless experts. Since I never gave birth to a female child, how would I know? Please, oh ye of short sightedness. After all, I am a female child with a female sibling. I have friends with girls and I pay close attention. However I admit, I cannot speak from the pink & frilly experience of parenting a girl.

In place of the pink & frilly, let's go with the brown & smelly. Above all else, boys are dirt magnets.....all types and forms of dirt, mud, gunk and various kinds of mysterious blots of stain. Boys remind you that you should have tried harder in Science class, especially Biology Lab, where bugs were examined and frogs were sliced open. It was disgusting then and some things just don't change. Worms, snakes and spiders remain on my Least Favorite Things list but by son #3, I had at least learned not to upset the neighborhood with my blood-curdling screams.

Please, I'm begging..........clean your room.

Yeah, that'll happen. In all fairness, two of my sons are pretty much the neat, clean, organized kind of guys ( I won't embarrass them by identifying them). As for the other two...OK,..Mothers of boys.....back me up on this.

It takes a bit of bravery and a haz-mat suit to enter a teen-age boy's bedroom. a.k.a... his Man Cave.....the-great-outdoors-brought-indoors, the 10 by 12 storage facility. I'll cut to the chase. Once when I reached under my son's bed, I retrieved a half-empty, greasy bag of popcorn from the Drive-in Theatre. That was one day in January. We live in western New York. You do the math.

SPORTS, Go Team............. and the score went up another notch, Toot Toot!

If you don't happen to be into all forms of athletics, I don't mean to be judgemental, but you have no business having male children. In my case, having been somewhat of a Tom-boy/Daddy's girl, I wasn't totally dumb......(the key word here being "totally." ) You'll learn quickly....or at least by the time they marry and move out.

Really smart Moms know what to do. Keep the car filled with gas ( & running in the driveway) and all schedules for all games for every sport, taped to the dashboard. Dress in school colors, bring your camera, a banner & horn. Do NOT, under any circumstances, call out to your son, wave or smile in their direction. Not only will they ignore you, they'll hate you.

My best advice is, stand, applaud and cheer when the Dads and students do. They actually know what's going on. Trust me. Don't make an ass of yourself by asking anyone, "What just happened? Is it good or bad for our team?" Please, be a cool parent or stay home!

DATING.........Go ahead, call me an annoying braggart. Names will never hurt me. My sons are handsome, intelligent, talented and their mother is obnoxious. Have a problem with this? The few teeney weeney faults they may have, are none of your business.

The girls were gaga for them. It's that simple. What is not so simple for a mother of sons, is trying to determine if any particular female makes the grade to earn attention from her son.....His Majesty. Through all the girls and date nights, proms & young lover's ups and downs, I kept my distance, like a smart Mom should, but my senses were keenly tuned in. Mostly, we Moms of sons have to prepare to be brown-nosed ad nauseum and spoken to in high squeaky voices about total devotion to our sons.

I was always tempted to tell these young starlets, "Look, I remember the game well, he's your dream boy, your soul mate ....and you love him to pieces. You're already practicing writing his name after yours and imagining your home with the white picket fence. I can also tell you I know of no guy, thinking any such thing. Relax honey, if it's meant to be, it will be. Until then, read my lips, I'm too young to be a grandmother.

COLLEGE.......The first child going off to places unknown is as traumatic as can be. After that, you start packing their things at the beginning of their Senior year of High School.

College is a huge thing in your son's life. He must learn which basket his dirty clothes go into, so he brings the right one home to you. Then again, if he's able to persuade the same girl who does his term papers, to also do his laundry, you're off the hook. Collect calls (before the birth of cell phones) C.A.R.E. packages, their own credit card, plus the extra spending money, will make you question why it costs so much for them to speak so few words.... "Hey, Mom, I'm fine. Everything is great. Miss you and love you. Please send money....& more socks and underwear." Mothers of sons know, that last request is because they do not know if the socks and underwear on the dorm room floor are theirs or their room mate's.....so they throw them out. Male children never allow the little things to confuse them.

When the OTHER woman takes him away.

I love my daughters-in-law. No, I mean I ADORE them. Each of these lovely ladies is absolutely perfect for the son they married. I am at such peace, knowing how loving and special they are. Best of all is being certain my boys are happy and have proven themselves amazing husbands and awesome Dads. There's no way to describe my pride.

On their Wedding day, I floated on a cloud. I admit I may have embarrassed my sons just a tad. Give me a break. It's such an emotional and moving moment in their lives. I couldn't help myself. O.K., so maybe I was a little too loud & excited when I hugged the new bride and begged....."Please honey, promise you'll KEEP him!!"

A funny 4 minute video about parenting BOYS

More by this Author


Comments 92 comments

fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Jaye.....You're too kind. I comment to myself and friends often, "Oh God, I could write a BOOK."....but I don't mean it literally. The more and more I come to understand about the incredible time, focus and details involved in getting a book to print, I just wonder if I'm up to the challenge.

I suppose an ebook is not out of the question............Speaking of books...weren't you working on a fiction?

Thanks for stopping by the 2nd time around. I'm always glad to see my hub-friends.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 2 years ago from Deep South, USA

I remembered how funny this was the first time around, so I had to read it (and laugh aloud) again. Paula, you really should stretch this one into a book. You're so good at writing humor. (And there's still a lot of truth among the laughs.)

Up/Funny/Awesome/Shared

Jaye


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 2 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

mary.....I can't imagine girls being any more expensive than boys! The Sports, shoes, equipment, FOOD, hobbies, trips to the ER.......Enough. Kids in general can easily put us in the poor house.....

OH...but they are SO worth it!!...:)


mary615 profile image

mary615 2 years ago from Florida

I raised four girls, and I can tell you: boys are certainly different! My boy is now 19 and just started college. I must say he was cheaper to raise. No makeup to buy, no expensive jeans to buy, either.

I enjoyed reading this Hub very much, As a mother of a son, I could appreciate everything you said!

Voted UP, etc.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

peg.... I know......be grateful for what you didn't find!! That's what my Dad always said! LOL


PegCole17 profile image

PegCole17 4 years ago from Dallas, Texas

I love your sense of humor and writing style. This was so very funny and entertaining. The popcorn bag discovery reminded me of the soft gooey things I used to find in the pockets of pants to be washed. Eeeuuuww.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Southern....No way to write about 20 years worth of my life with 4 boys without making it a book the size of "War and Peace !!" Congratulations on raising 4 yourself!!


Southernmapart 4 years ago

fpherj, I reared two sons and two nephews. Two and two make four. C'mon now, admit that you wrote a nice article and left out a lot of the nitty-gritty. ;)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Hello Mrs. Springsteen!!!.........Boys are simply wonderful....I think I was born to raise boys.....well, actually, I was, wasn't I? LOL Once you get past the sloppiness, noise, scrapes, bruises and wrestling matches......and you learn how to cook for the Marine Corps.....tolerate smelly athletic shoes and equipment....put up with silly, giggly fawning girls..........hey...the rest is a piece of cake!! LOL


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

oh bill....your story is so funny...and reminds me of my boys coming home from a football game, comparing, bumps and bruises and swollen body parts....thinking how "awesome" their injuries were.....while Mom was freaking in the background! LOL...I love it! I'm also glad it's over. Phew!!! what a ride.


Hyphenbird profile image

Hyphenbird 4 years ago from America-Broken But Still Beautiful

I currently live with a nine year old boy. Oh my! There is never a dull moment. They sure can be sweet though. Your Hub is perfect, funny, sentimental and totally honest. Thank you so much for a wonderful read.


billybuc profile image

billybuc 4 years ago from Olympia, WA

This was before I knew you, so I get a pass on being late for this one. :)

No doubt about it, raising boys is a whole different ball of wax from raising girls. I only had one, but I am proud to say he was all boy, in every sense of the word. Reminded me of me, or at least a scaled down version.

Bev was looking at my thumbs last night (don't ask, it's just what Bev does) and she noticed that one thumb had a weird bump to it. She asked me what happened to it.....the only thing we could figure out is that it had been hit by a baseball so many times that it must have broken at some point.

She asked me if I remember it hurting....well hell yes, it hurt, but you don't think I'm coming out of a game just because my thumb hurts.

That's us boys, love us or hate us!

Great hub Paula; loved the history lesson.


JayeWisdom profile image

JayeWisdom 4 years ago from Deep South, USA

Loved this hub, Paula, and laughed myself silly! With regard to the photo taken by the wooden fence, how did you get access to my photo album??? (I remember trying to break my boys from this practice and finally giving up! Since they're now middle-aged, I hope they finally stopped "going" outdoors, but there's no guarantee.)

I also had one daughter, sandwiched between the sons, so I got a taste of rearing both genders. I think most mothers of girls will tell you that the challenges--though admittedly different--are still significant.

Voted Up and across the board...out of the park on this one, Paula! Shared so more can have a wonderful laugh.

Jaye


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Hi Giselle......Thanks so much for the visit. I love hearing from "new" friends.....in this case, especially a Mom of 2 boys......18 months apart? Wow. You have your hands full, honey. I am sure will do a wonderful job. Remember, your main goal is getting out alive....and with SOME of your sanity left!!! LOL!!


Giselle Maine 4 years ago

A very helpful and timely hub for me to read! I have 2 toddler boys (they are 1 and a half years apart). This is really good advice for me for what to expect in the years to come. Yes, they already seem to attract dirt. I bathe them, and then... SHOOOM, ten minutes later they somehow wind up getting covered in dirt or bits of leaves or something. I didn't remember any of that happening as much to me when I was a kid, but, as your hub explained, this is one of the big differences between boys and girls.

I am impressed at how you raised 4 boys... your expertise is definitely helpful for me! Thanks for a great hub.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

OH....dear me....Buy some anti-girl spray and cover your son with it...every day. Begin your mantra in the a.m and repeat until bedtime. "You have your entire life ahead of you for relationships....and in order to attract the perfect woman, who will adore you forever, you MUST be well-educated, mature and able to offer her the WORLD. Until then, know this.....females are annoying, spoiled, jealous, shallow, demanding bitches...who will only cause you grief and divert your attention from the really important stuff.....like your education, your athletic career, and your PART-TIME, AFTER SCHOOL JOB. No girls...no girls.....just say NO, to girls."

A hell of a LONG mantra...but trust me, it's worth the work!


LaThing profile image

LaThing 4 years ago from From a World Within, USA

Lol, Paula, this one is absolutely adorable! I laughed and I cried..... Let me tell you this, YES, they are different! Trust me on this, I have both kinds! My son is not at the age of getting married yet, but I already see girls heads turning, ahhhrrrr!

Really enjoyed it, voting across the board, and sharing! :))


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Suz.....I never forget for one moment, how very blessed I am, believe me. Not only do I have 10 GC and one GGC......but each and every single one of them is a beautiful, healthy, highly intelligent and talented human being.......and of course, I'm aware I sound like the typical obnoxious grandmother, but these are observations of anyone who meets them or knows them, teachers, coaches, Doctors, neighbors and other parents.

My own sons and their wives have done unbelievably stellar jobs at raising their children to be bright, sensitive and self-motivating individuals. Truth is, when it comes to parenting, I'm not only quite proud of my sons & wives, but freely admit, they are much better parents than I was.


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 4 years ago from Taos, NM

"What goes around comes around," as they say. LOL I bet your sons really appreciate you now, though. Your cup runneth over with ten grandchildren - you are blessed!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Oh, Suzette, no question....I enjoyed every minute of my life with my boys...I adore them.....and by the way, I'm enjoying every minute of my life now TOO! I have 10 grandchildren 7 boys 3 girls and one 18 month old Great grand daughter.

What do I love best? hahhahaha watching my sons pull their hair out...........heheheheh "All in good time, my pretty"...........


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Kathleen.......I'll go so far as to say, I would do it all the very same way because Lord knows everything worked out beautifully....however, unlike you.....I am by NO means, volunteering to "DO IT AGAIN IN A HEARTBEAT!" Once, was enough, darlin......They are happily and safely in the care of other good women....precisely where I prayed they would be. I'm not one to push my luck!!! Yes, you're so right, boys do love their Mamas.......and it's so nice they can do it at a distance now....

Thanks for your story.....LOVE it!


Kathleen Cochran profile image

Kathleen Cochran 4 years ago from Atlanta, Georgia

I have two grown sons. I'd add to the sports part, a Mother can never - under any circumstances go out onto a sports field when an injury happens. I don't care if an appendage has come off, my boys would have been mortified if Mommie had come running to see if her baby was hurt.

Dating: OMG the way girls threw themselves at my handsome sons, starting in elementary school. I sympathize with you. But how can you not love a daughter in law who so obviously loves your son? I love my two DILs down to the ground. I have to admit I get amused when they complain about the same bad habits I tried to wring out of their husbands. Their yours now girls. You wanted them. And in the long run, you are lucky to have them, because a slew of others tried. The good will shine through most of the time.

The best thing about teenage sons is, inspite of the teenage traffic tickets, underage drinking in college, and wrecked cars, teenage boys love their Mommas. Teenage girls are two women in the same house and Katie bar the door!

It's an adventure alright. And I'd do it again in a heartbeat - that teenage daughter of mine too!


suzettenaples profile image

suzettenaples 4 years ago from Taos, NM

I so enjoyed reading this. In fact, I'm still chuckling. You raised four boys and not only survived by lived to write about it. That deserves a medal. Your sense of humor is great and I think deep down you actually enjoyed raising them. This is actually a wonderful story and you could write a book - seriously, I mean that. Have you thought about that? I for one would pay to read all about your adventures as a mom of four boys. I wish you the best with your grandchildren - now you can enjoy them and then send them home. LOL Thanks for an entertaining and heart-warming article. Voted up and all across the board!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Tammy....3 boys...one year apart??!! Bless you! They had each other to entertain them selves.......Miss Princess has YOU all to herself.....and she demands to be entertained.....so keep those tap shoes polished, Mom and DANCE!! LOL


tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow 4 years ago from North Carolina

As a mom of three sons, each a year a part, I soooo relate to everything you wrote here. The cleaning, dirty laundry, and keeping enough food in the house was the biggest challenges in the teen years. I couldn't buy a week's worth of food in one trip because the guys would eat it all in one day. The three of them were still easier than raising one pampered princess. I didn't have to entertain them all day long. They are grown now. I have been through the girlfriend situations. Sadly, my guys dated girls that didn't get along with one another. You have to really be able to keep your wits and your boundaries. Excellent hub!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

bankscottage......well......I'm right on the damned ball, aren't I? Here I am, 5 weeks after you left your comment. I was unaware I skipped you...DUH

Fortunately.....you also raised 4 boys....so I'm sure you understand the brain defect......Some of my neurons mis-fire once in awhile. Battle fatigue......scars from being ambushed one too many times!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Beth......I'm glad you enjoyed my hub about the joys of little boys! Buckle up, Mom, you're in for the ride of a lifetime! Happy Trails!!


Beth0283 4 years ago from Fayetteville, NC

Hi there. I loved your hub!! I have two precocious, headstrong little boys who love to get dirty and play outside. They are ages 3 and 1. lol. So now I know what to expect when they get older. The joys of motherhood!!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Boys are all of these things and more.....Your comment is so funny!! Cute story.


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

P.S. The picture of the boys 'watering the plants' made me think of the distraught mother in the linens department with a plantpot full of dirt and a pair of boys in tow, telling the saleslady, "I need towels THIS color!" ;-)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

rahul....Your compliment to my writing has just made my whole day!! Coming from a master such as yourself, it means so much to me.

I can promise you.....no matter what you did growing up....your mother adores you unconditionally. That's just the way it is, my friend.


rahul0324 profile image

rahul0324 4 years ago from Gurgaon, India

Hi Paula! Incredible writing!

I know hoe difficult I made it for my mother when I was a child:)

Great hub


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Pamela....Sorry....the THANK YOU comment above is for you. I neglected to write your name.

Hi Paul!

With 3 sisters between you and your baby brother, it's a wonder you guys even knew the other existed!!! LOL! Thanks for stopping by. Always enjoy your comments.

donabhatt...

Thank you for stopping by and for the positive comment. Please stop by to visit anytime. I enjoy the interaction with fellow-hubbers. Nice to meet you!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

DzyMsLizzy.....Heck, Mom....girl, boy....kids in general are a beautiful combo of the most wonderful & stressful gifts ever.

Seems to me, we can always encounter the childless-by-choice couple, who secretly wonder if they really made the best choice.....yet, without fail, "parents" are people who truly don't want to imagine being without the loves of their life!


bankscottage profile image

bankscottage 4 years ago from Pennsylvania

fpherj48, what a wonderful Hub. The second photo is precious. As the father of 4 boys, I have seen that image several times in my life. Like your boys, mine are grown (24 to 32). Whatever we did, when one boy went they all went. When the older 2 were in Boy Scouts and we went camping, the younger two came along with us (My wife loved the time to herself). We still talk about the camping trip to the cave with the 4 of them (What was I thinking?).

My boys were all into sports, 3 heavily into travel ice hockey (several games in Buffalo and Toronto). We bought a Suburban so that we could haul all of the gear (and so I wouldn't hear 'He's touching me'). I didn't like to stop on long trips so we carried a urinal. who ever used it had to hold it until the next one needed it or I finally agreed to stop (usually when my wife had to go, I couldn't get her to use it).

When our boys got older, my wife wondered what I would do. I had done so much with them. Would I be lost? Would I chase around some neighbor kid? Now she thinks I replaced them with HubPages.

Thanks for bringing back fond memories for me.

Voted up, awesome, and shared.


donabhatt profile image

donabhatt 4 years ago from Hyderabad

wonderful piece of writing..enjoyed reading it thoroughly.....


Paul Kuehn profile image

Paul Kuehn 4 years ago from Udorn City, Thailand

Paula,

This is an awesome account of your sons and I greatly enjoyed reading it. I grew up with three sisters and one brother all younger than me. I never got to do much with my brother because he is 13 years younger. Voted up and sharing.


Pamela Kinnaird W profile image

Pamela Kinnaird W 4 years ago from Maui and Arizona

This is so funny. It's great. I especially laughed at your Sports section's advice. I can relate to that. Loved the whole hub. Voting way up.


DzyMsLizzy profile image

DzyMsLizzy 4 years ago from Oakley, CA

LOL--what a great and fun read! I came from the opposite side of the child-rearing tracks, so to speak. I was an only child, female obviously, and when I married, I was presented with daughters...(and yes, in those days before sonograms, I think "presented with" is an apt phrase.).. ;-)

I had one 'girly-girl,' and one tomboy who delighted in mud pies and didn't care if she wore stripes with plaids.

Entering her room, you took your life in your hands...and a dear friend of mine once told me, "She's your boy."

Nonetheless, both girls turned out to be wonderful young women. The first had boys...my girly-girl raising boys. Oy! Yes, there were (and are) struggles... But my first thought upon the birth of the first, was, "Oh, gosh--I'm an only-girl; I raised girls--WHAT am I going to do with a grandSON??!!"

Then, I reflected---what better grandma could a little boy have than a tomboy like me who enjoys climbing trees and playing with model trains? I ended up with a fine relationship with my grandsons.

Then, the younger daughter had girls. My tomboy with girls. And it's funny--thinking of things to do with them is harder, because they are 'girly-girls,' not into mud pies and toy trains. ...Hahaha...Funny, how things work out.

Voted up, funny and shared!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Vee....oh dear God, my heart breaks into a million pieces when I learn of a child's death. It is so unnatural and devastating....to the point of unbearable. My love and hugs and my deepest condolences to your family....I just know how dreadful it is to have to deal with.....It's been close to a couple of years for us also. It's a lifelong deep wound.


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

aaawww...a Big HUG to ya!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Ruchira....what the heck??? I wrote a reply to you and it has disappeared!! Has this ever happened to you? hmmm, is it possible I wrote it and didn't click to "send?" See...THIS is what happens to women who raise 4 sons!! They eventually lose their minds!!

OK...here I go again....see if I do this one right!

I remember well, the stage they go through where they are "embarrassed" of us....for what reason, I do not know. When I would go to the school, they would duck from me and walk past me like they didn't know me!! They're friends would all smile and say hello, but not my sons. Go figure. Good luck.....you'll get through it...I promise!! Like Babyboomer says..."it's the most wonderful awful job in the world!!" LOL

Oh...and YES, I am an extremely doting Grandmother...and obnoxious and over-bearing and over-loving....I adore them and spoil them.....


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

Hey, Effer, I am next to the oldest, so I had to deal with a bossy older brother and protect my younger brothers from him. haha. I sign everything now as "your favorite sister," "your favorite daugher" just for fun! Congrats on raising all those boys. And the grandchildren. Sorry about your Jonathon. We lost my 3 year old nephew in a tragic accident a couple of years ago. I know that is hard for the grandparents.

I always wanted a sister. I cried when my youngest brother was born and said, Take him back!!! haha. He is the sweetest person! Thanks to him, I can always be the FAVORITE sister.

Glad you have a good relationship with the wives. You have daughters in them. :-)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Well, trust me Girlfriend...I did NOT miss how many boys I had. The very good news is....they are some other woman's responsibility now!! hahahahahaahahah!!! They are 44 & 42....33 & 31.....they all have children...my 10th. grandchild is due in August...(I always count Our precious Johnathan, although we lost him in a tragedy)

3 girls and 7 boys..(the Angel coming in Aug is a boy)

I totally agree with you, your Mom does have an awesome daughter....are you the baby? I always wanted a brother....so did my sister! Not INSTEAD of each other!!! in addition to!! LOL!!

Anyone would love my DILS....they are sweet, wonderful wives and superb Moms.....AND THEY ARE NOT ALLOWED TO RETURN THEIR HUSBANDS HOME!!!


Victoria Lynn profile image

Victoria Lynn 4 years ago from Arkansas, USA

You are so awesome! did I miss HOW MANY boys you have? My mom had 3, plus one awesome daughter (LOL), so I know how hard it is to survive boys!!!! Such a funny and awesome hub. Glad I found this! glad you like your daughters-in-law too! Lucky you! All the votes on this one! sharing!


Ruchira profile image

Ruchira 4 years ago from United States

Wow, Paula!!

I am pretty sure you are a dotting grandma. I hope I can be ~50-75% successful as you have been raising your boys. My boy is 8 but I feel his cuddly days were until 4. Now, are the days of me making him embarrassed...lol

loved your beautiful hub. Wishing you and your lovely family all the best!

voted up as beautiful and interesing and sharing it across


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

babyboomer......It IS the most wonderful awful job in the world.....IF it's done right...and of course, nobody does better parenting than the Babyboomers!!!!!!!!!


TheLastBabyBoomer profile image

TheLastBabyBoomer 4 years ago from Surprise Arizona

Dear Buffalo Gal,

I thoroughly enjoyed seeing the other side of the coin. I always wondered if raising boys would have been easier. I have raised three; count them, three beautiful daughters and I have the battle scars to prove it. My hubby also would have loved a boy … he got a Tomboy instead. I too am frazzled, and to this day still not sure that I will survive. None of my daughters are married, but from personal experience I truly understand why people congratulate the parents of the Bride (and Groom). I will personally call “no take backs” on that day. I would venture to say that being a parent is the most wonderful awful job in the world!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Bev...My first grandchild was my first personal experience with a girl and she held the title of only grand daughter for 16 years, because after her, came 1-2-3-4-5-6- grandsons....and my only 2 other grand daughters live out of State.....my # 1 graduates college in May and I fear she & long-time boyfriend are discussing marriage. Yes, I think marriage is an honorable institution, but maybe you can understand what I'm feeling? I am resisting the urge to give "advice," and it's killing me!! lol....Thanks for your comment! Peace.


kingmaxler profile image

kingmaxler 4 years ago from Olympia, Washington USA

You are a pleasure to read. I also have sons, only three and one daughter who is the youngest. They are different for sure, although there are also many similarities. I was so concerned that I would have frilly, pink girl after these amazing boys who were active and full of life. Then she came along and I get why people love girls. I love my children with all my heart and like you, they have been the center of my world. Thank you for your straight forward hub.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

yes....I re-did my bio and replaced my grand daughters pic with one of "GramDawg"...(me).....We've had some cold temps and a bit of snow. Nothing to cause a panic though. It's already warming up and melting all the snow. Good to hear from you again!! Come back anytime


alancaster149 profile image

alancaster149 4 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

You've changed the image on your profile, fpherj48! Had some snow yet? We had some of Russia's blown our way (and their temperatures, minus 13 in places) but the northwesterlies saw it off again!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thank you Eddy.....and Bless your heart!! 4 pink and 2 blue? You're a rock star MOM!!!


Eiddwen profile image

Eiddwen 4 years ago from Wales

Oh how I loved this one so very interesting and the humour spot on.

I have six children but 2 boys and 4 girls.

I vote this one up up and away.

Take care and enjoy your day.

Eddy. !!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

So....you didn't go for number 4 boy, huh? Well, I guess some of us are just gluttons for punishment! Needless to say I am obssessed with my 3 grand daughters and my 6 mo. old Great grand daughter! They are so different, Kim. In truth, my boys (men) are the 4 brightest lights in my life. I can't imagine my life without them. Good luck....it'll all be over soon & you can just smile real BIG at your Daughters-in-law!!! lmao


Kim Cantrell profile image

Kim Cantrell 4 years ago from Deep In The Pages of a Book

Ha! This is hilarious! LOVE IT! As a Mom of three boys, I really, really got this. My oldest is in college and son #2 a sophomore in High school, so those two I'm so ready for the OTHER WOMAN to take. Although I admit, I'll probably feel different when it actually happens.

And I so love the pick of the boys peeing in the garden. Wow, what a flashback!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Bless you kelleyward, mother of boys....take your vitamins and keep your sense of humor in good shape. It's quite an adventure and worth every minute! Thanks for stopping by.


kelleyward 4 years ago

Awesome read. I have 3 boys and I can relate. Mine are still young so I still have a lot of surprises ahead.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 4 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thank you so much for that info!! After the New Year, I must stop at this coffee shop and meet Suzy! Wishing you and yours a lovely and peaceful Holiday Season! I enjoy your visits.


alancaster149 profile image

alancaster149 4 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

fpherj48 I have further info: daughter Suzy works at Park's Coffee Shop in the Ellicott Complex on Sunday evenings. She's back in 'Blighty' at the moment, but she'll be back across the Pond in the New Year.

(Well, snatch my suspenders! If that don't beat all)!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

You WILL survive....wiser, smarter and really TIRED...but like my Title, the best is getting out alive! You don't want to miss the next generation of little darlings... Of 9 grandchildren...6 are what else? BOYS!


thewahm profile image

thewahm 5 years ago

WHat a great page! I am mom to three boys and two girls, and let me tell you my boys are a handful! My four year old reminds me of the pic above of the boys peeing, as he LOVES to open the back door and just let loose! I hope I survive this! :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Lou1842....Dear Young MOM....BOYS are WONDERFUL!! Truly a joy and a blessing.....One thing...KEEP YOUR SENSE OF HUMOR AT ALL TIMES.....and whatever little tricks you may invent on your own. (I kept baby pics of my boys with me every second.....so I could pull them out and look at them when they were "sweet & soft & cuddly& precious & squeaky clean.......)Awwwwwwwwww...they just don't stay that way. It was never intended to last forever!!!!!lol Good Luck Mom!!


Lou1842 profile image

Lou1842 5 years ago

I have two small boys (one is 4 years and the other 5 months) so I have all of this to come! Thanks for letting me know what I'm in for!

I feel so lucky to have my boys. Thanks for sharing.


alancaster149 5 years ago

Hundred lines... I'll overlook it if you make some comments on my pages. If I keep visiting your page people will talk


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

WHOA!! looks like I need to go back to grammar school!! I just picked up on my mistake above.....OHHHH cringe!

of course I meant "THEIR" phone numbers. "for" future use! One slap on the hand for me!


alancaster149 5 years ago

I had to go to charm school first!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

well....now, you might have at least taken down there phone numbers fro future use!!


alancaster149 5 years ago

No relation to me - it was a maternity unit - just that I was unable to capitalise on the situation! Imagine all those girls in their beds, shouting for attention!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

well, alancaster...since they were all your siblings....not much fun at all, I would guess!!!lol


alancaster149 5 years ago

When I was hatched I was the only boy in a roomful of girls. How's that for a start in life?!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

alancaster...I always thought if I'd have had a girl, she'd have wound up quite the "Tom-Boy," anyway...so what the heck...eh??


alancaster149 profile image

alancaster149 5 years ago from Forest Gate, London E7, U K (ex-pat Yorkshire)

I've got two daughters and a son. You saw that on my 'bio'. My elder daughter Joanne married an Indian - not a native American, a native Mumbaian - through the place she works, Lord's Cricket Gound. She's an adventurer by nature, no pink frillies for her but she married in a long gown. She prefers to watch cricket or rugby to association football (soccer in the US). My son Robert was less adventurous then came out of his shell when he went to university, and currently works in Berlin at a secondary school. He plays football - with a round ball - on Saturdays. He's a West Ham fan and his German girlfriend is a Dortmund fan - they met at Prague university when they were both on exchange - and she plays football as well! Suzy is another chip off the old block, adventurous and free spirited - brainy with it - like her siblings, although not a great sports fan. Kath - my wife - is free spirited as well, an only child like me and travelled on her own to the USA, Israel and Russia. She's the one who passed on her liking of sports to the kids. Me? I've never been out of Europe. I sometimes watch sport but I can take it or leave it. I'd sooner take my Land Rover off-road or drive over moor or dale. What's all this about? Just, it's the way you raise them,lads or lasses (boys or girls). Kath didn't like shopping until she went to the Westgate Centre near where the Olympics are set next summer, but I'm still the one who does the weekly shop. Her Dad brought her up like the boy her brother would've been if his house hadn't been bombed in the war, that's the key.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Looking around for things that will help them understand GIRLIES better!!!!


stylezink profile image

stylezink 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA.

Hilarious! I actually have my 'pink room' that's all mine. We recently moved into a 4 bedroom house and I claimed the small spare bedroom immediately. I've got to start my own stash of snacks though. They're killing the pantry! I'm sure you went through the after school kitchen raid, lol! I also think I'll take your suggestion of a lock on the door. I have found both of my sons just sitting in there for no reason. It's so weird they have huge bedrooms with everything they need & want, why sit in a girly pink room? Crazy boys.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Bless your heart, stylezink. 15 & 16?? OK...how about a suggestion from an old "BOY PRO?" If there is a room in your house (or even an extra big closet) that you can claim as your Hide-out....stock it with your favorite things....books, audios,crosswords, SNACKS & your favorite beverage. extra lightbulbs too..pillows & blanket...install a BIG STRONG LOCK on the INSIDE. This will be your Sanctuary, your Haven...YOUR SPACE. It will also be what keeps you out of the bars, jail and/or the mental facility. Trust me. In less than 10 short years, this will all pay off. It took 30 years to hear the "music to my ears," I had waited for. When my sons became DADS...they looked at me and asked, "MOM, HOW did you DO it??!!" A MILLION dollars couldn't have pleased me more.. Oh and BTW? I smiled and told them to figure it out....like I did! Revenge is soooo sweet.


stylezink profile image

stylezink 5 years ago from Atlanta, GA.

Love this hub! I have two sons and can relate, well, sort of, I'm in the teen years right now. They are about to turn 15 & 16 in a few weeks. I died laughing about the begging to clean their rooms. One of my sons is fairly neat but the other you would need gloves and a mask to enter.

Another great up. Thanks for sharing.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

What a CREATIVE brother you have! Boys are really more fun than anything else I can think of......and a "sense of humor" is the KEY to raising them! It's so much better than winding up at the Hillside Funny Farm looking forward to Tues afternoon basket weaving class!!! Thanks for your comments. Stop by anytime!


KathyH profile image

KathyH 5 years ago from Las Vegas, Nevada

I love reading about another "survivor" who has raised sons!! I had to laugh at the popcorn under the bed... when I was a kid, my brother tried to make the world's biggest WAD of GUM! He put it on his windowsill and let it dry out, then he proceeded to PAINT it with blue model paint! I kid you not!!

This brought back many memories of sitting through weightlifting meets, football practices and games with our sons playing. Not only do you survive it, you beam with pride!! Funny, funny stuff!! Great job! :)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thanks Sharon...and pls tell your Sis, my prayers are with her. Truth is, "boys" are the greatest. She will never regret turning that job down....I applaud her. Basketball is EASY.....it's the Football that boggles my mind...STILL don't understand it!!


Sharyn's Slant profile image

Sharyn's Slant 5 years ago from Northeast Ohio USA

Hi Paula,

I must admit that although I do not have any two-legged children, I read every word here and loved it. I always expect to have some chuckles when I read your writing. Thank you for that! My lil sister has four boys, no girls. She is quite content with all the males in her home and I don't remember her ever wishing she had girls. Her boys are between 14 and 22 now. She has lots more to go through, lol. Recently, my sis had an opportunity for what appeared to be a better job. One of the reasons she turned it down was because she didn't want to miss her boys basketball games :) I'm sure she would appreciate reading this so I will forward it to her. Take care,

Sharyn


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

So you are a DUAL-PURPOSE Mom....Bless you once, bless you twice. Most importantly, you are NOT old! I hear you, loud and clear, Bara!! lol


Barbara Turpin profile image

Barbara Turpin 5 years ago from N. California

Maybe I was lucky, then again.. maybe not! I had one "dirt and worms" and one.....well, NOT pink and frilly, but a purple tomboy!

One was always dirty, the other had to "shampoo" her hair EVERYday!!

They are 41 and 39 (I am NOT old!). The purple one, happily married....every mother's "dream" of the man for their daughter. No children for them :(

The dirty one, gave us a grandson...22yrs ago. I SAID I am NOT old-didn't you hear me?! He's now a "confirmed bachelor" and lovin' it!

I have two different relationships... one very good. The other, I'd rather not discuss. Same house, totally totally different personalities. Of course...

Great hub! Written perfectly! Thank you!!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Cogerson.....great to hear from you! Sounds like you get to be an expert at both blue AND pink! FUN...huh? Bless your heart for being a STELLAR Dad....the world needs more like you!


Cogerson profile image

Cogerson 5 years ago from Virginia

I loved this hub....very funny stuff...with some great photos to boot. My life is so strange....I raised my boys years ago(they are 23 and 19)....and now I have two little girls(they are 5 and 2)....so I feel I will have all the possibilities covered by the time these little girls are as old as my boys. Voted funny and awesome.


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Yes, jean....it is a very serious topic. Precisely why I use humor so much. If we couldn't laugh, we'd all have adjoining rooms!! Thank you so much for visiting. Please come back anytime!


jean2011 profile image

jean2011 5 years ago from Canada

Thank you for such funny twist to a somewhat serious topic. You have really given me a good laugh. I have voted you hub funny!


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Teddletonmr...I'll bet your the kind of stand-up guy who washes his own boxers? Thank you for stopping by and for the "Welcome." I appreciate both!


Teddletonmr profile image

Teddletonmr 5 years ago from Midwest USA

You had me with the popcorn bag under the bed, needed a change of boxers.:)

Welcome to HubPages, Mike


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

You are in my thoughts....everyday :-)


fpherj48 profile image

fpherj48 5 years ago from Beautiful Upstate New York Author

Thank you Lady Sunshine. It's so nice when they let me out of my padded room, to use the computers. I have "recreation therapy" today. I'll weave you a basket. Yep, it sure was fun raisin those boys! My Doc is cautiously optimistic....he thinks maybe in a year or so, I'll stop stuttering and jerking my head. Pray for me.


Sunshine625 profile image

Sunshine625 5 years ago from Orlando, FL

Awwwwww Paula your sons will be so proud when they read this!!! I had girls and they are totally different as many friends have told me. I witnessed many nephews grow into men and now have son-in-laws. I'm glad I didn't have to do the rearing of those boys but their moms did a great job! Wonderful tribute to your sons and daughter-in-laws :))

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