Real Sisters At Last!

Is buying greeting cards something you put off doing? I sometimes procrastinate going to the card aisle to get that card for the person I love dearly. I know I need to get it done … it’s been on my to do list for two weeks … I really do want to get that card … but ... it can be an unsettling experience. And, we all shy away from those kinds of tasks, when you long so much to have the type of relationship most greeting cards impart.

That was me for many years, whenever my sister was celebrating her birthday or some other special occasion. I would sometimes stand there with tears in my eyes as I would read about the special feelings sisters shared. So, I would usually opt for something funny rather than something sentimental.

My sister, Polly and I are ten years apart. I’m the oldest, and she’s always quick to remind me of that fact when we approach birthdays. We sign our cards “your favorite sister”. We can do that without lying since we are the only two sisters among the five siblings in my family!

It’s taken us a long time to get to where we are in our relationship. We are proof that if you never give up on a heart’s desire it can come true. I’d like to share a little about the journey and the paths it took to get where we are today.

We've always been nice enough when together, for my family has never been one that argues or squabbles among ourselves. We are blessed in our family in many ways! We don’t let disagreements fester; we deal with them and go on. We respect each others differences and can always count on each other to come through no matter what life situation arises. Like I said … we are a blessed family!

However, as blessed as I am to have a great family, throughout my early adult years, I would often grieve and long for the intimate “Sisterness” I was witness to of several friends and other family members. Our mother had that type of bond with a couple of her sisters. My dad had two sisters who were always involved in each others lives. I wanted us to automatically, without even thinking about it, pick up the phone to share about the latest whatever going on our lives. Sadly, Polly and I did not share that kind of intimate type of Sisterness.

I finally realized the age difference was one of the biggest reasons and since I could not do anything about that, I clung to things I had read and heard that, often as we mature, the age gap seems to close and the differences seem to fade. The lines between the years become grayish and are no longer so bold and graphically prominent. Besides the age thing Polly and I also lived our lives very differently and did not have very much in common.

Then, sort of gradually, without us being fully aware, it was taking place … a metamorphose was taking place in our relationship. We were becoming sisters … real sisters. Just like a butterfly becomes a creature of beauty and something to admire, our sisterness was transforming us into something to be envied by others.

We were SISTERS! At last we were Sisters!

Looking back over and through the growing process now gives me a warm feeling in my heart.

It started a couple of years before our mother passed away. We started having more in common, than just our wonderful family. I’m so grateful we had that sistering time, because when Mother died, very unexpectedly, we needed each other … as never before.

The “Sister Adventures” really began a few months later, in the spring of 2003. By then we had grown through some of the phases of grief and we were sharing in each others lives as never before.

Then out of the blue with no warning one of those "life changing" adventures happened to me. In a downsize move, suddenly, with no warning at all, I lost my job of several years. After a little while, I got over the shell shock of it all and accepted it as a new adventure.

Since I had more free time in my life, Polly proposed it might be fun and a chance to make a little money too, to start a little cottage business.

We had an idea, did some research, dipped into savings and went to work. We were two mad scientists in the kitchen, creating pampering bath salts, soothing body lotions and an awesome exfoliating scrub. We decided to sell our new creations at craft fairs and flea markets. And what an adventure we were on!

It was when we did our first sale that we realized our personality differences complimented each other so marvelously. Polly was the out front sales guru and I was more behind the scenes and fluff queen. We each did our thing ... but we did them together. We were a great team! And we laughed, sometimes through tears of exhaustion, and had so much fun. Even in our failures and the experiments that flopped. It was a great adventure!

After about three years on this great sister adventure, for many reasons, we decided to discontinue our little business. We really didn't make any money other than expenses. But, neither of us would change a thing because the result of it all is a closeness between we two sisters as never before.

The type of relationship we both had longed for has been realized at last! The great thing about it is, it will continue to grow and change into even a better thing, as we grow older together. It's really much more than a relationship. That word is such an overused word and really does not encompass what we have. We have "Sisterness"! That's a much more describing word for two gals who are: in each others lives; who depend on and can count on each other; who respect each others privacy but are willing to interrupt it for a chat about what's going on; who are determined to nurture and grow this ever changing, for the better, place we are. And, yes Polly will always be the younger ... she'll never let me forget that little fact!