Similarities Between My Cat and My Baby (Humour)

For years, friends and family fretted that my life just wouldn’t be complete until I had a baby of my very own to love and care for. In their wisdom, they insisted that having a cat just wasn’t the same as raising a baby. They assured me that one day I’d understand.

Today is that day. I totally understand ... I understand that my friends and family were wrong. Let the comparison begin!

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Government Registration

My cat must be registered with the municipality and receives collar tags.

My baby must be registered with the federal and provincial government and is tagged with a Social Insurance Number and Birth Registration Card.


Shots

Both require special shots and immunizations before I can safely take them out in public.


Costs

I can’t afford medication for either.

Neither can eat “people food”, so I’m forced to pay outrageous prices for food specifically designed for them.

Both require special gear (diapers, leashes, strollers, clothing etc.), so I’m forced to pay outrageous prices for gear specifically designed for them.


Communication I Don’t Understand

Two words:

“MEOW!” and “WHAAAAA!”

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Culinary Expectations

Both are instantly awake and expecting to be fed every time they hear me in the kitchen.


Poop

My cat gets praise for pooping the litter box and covering up when he’s done.

My baby gets praise for the hard work it takes for her to push out poops every day or so.

... I have to clean up after both.


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Toys

Both have special toys that they love to play with, won’t share with others and slobber all over.


Claws

I find myself shouting, “Hey! No claws!” and “Be gentle with me!!” just as often with my baby as I do with the cat.


Curiosity

Both are extremely curious and want to know what I’m doing every moment of the day ... and then get in the way as they try to "help" ...


Bed

My cat has a box with shredded paper for cushioning to make it his personal bed.

My baby has a basket with fluffy towels for cushioning to make it her personal bed.

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Sleep

My cat is awake every few hours to visit the litter box, eat and walk across my body before settling down again.

My baby is awake every few hours to be changed, fed and burped before settling down again.


Discipline

TIME OUT! ... It works. For both.


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Bath Time

Both have special shampoo and their own special towels. Both cry and squirm during a bath, but secretly enjoy the experience.


Attention

When not asleep, my cat demands constant attention and wants to be held all the time.

When not asleep, my baby requires constant attention and wants to be held all the time.


Cuteness Factor

Both are just so cutie-patootie-poo-poo to the point that I just wanna do gooshie baby-talk and cuddle them all up! Yes, I do. Oh, yes!


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Purity

Both of them were born with perfect innocence and trust me implicitly. They both love me unconditionally for who I am, just the way I am.


Comparison of Advantages

Aside from their similarities, each has their own advantages. Let’s take a moment to evaluate:

Cat
Baby
Cat doesn’t need to be burped 36 times a day;
Baby lets me dress her up cutsie and take photos;
Cat be left unattended for days with only a bowl of food, water and litter box;
Baby will eventually learn to communicate better;
Cat doesn’t keep me up all night with fits of colic;
Baby doesn’t yarf up hair balls;
Cat carrier is cheaper than a car seat.
Baby’s medical expenses are covered by the government.

Conclusion

If I were writing a product review, I’m afraid this would be a tie given the similarities and weight of comparisons. Sorry, Mom; having a cat seems to be exactly the same as raising a baby (minus the 33 hours of mind-bending labour).


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Looking Forward

Now that we have that matter settled, I know what to expect when it comes to raising a child. Based on the past 10 years I spent raising my cat from a teeny-tiny kitten to a full-grown tom, I can look forward to:

  • Having my breakables knocked to the floor;
  • Finding cupboards opened and items pulled out onto the floor;
  • Having to play goalie every time I open the door to keep Baby from running outside;
  • Stepping on toys strewn all over the floor;
  • Having Baby stand in the kitchen entry, begging for food;
  • Preventing Baby from shoving the screen out of the window (and falling after it);
  • Having Baby weave between my legs while I'm carrying a hot drink; and
  • Making sure the toilet lid is down so Baby doesn't go “fishing”.


Yep, it's gonna be an interesting 18 years.


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Comments 9 comments

anuramkumar profile image

anuramkumar 4 years ago from Chennai, India

I just enjoyed this hub.


I Am Rosa profile image

I Am Rosa 4 years ago from Canada Author

I"m so glad you enjoyed it and thank you for following :-)


FloraBreenRobison profile image

FloraBreenRobison 4 years ago

hahahahaha! I have a cat and refer to myself as Mummy. I knew I wasn't just being silly (though silly is an apt description too.)


I Am Rosa profile image

I Am Rosa 4 years ago from Canada Author

lol with FloraBreenRobison - I found raising a cat was great training for dealing with a baby. Builds patience, expands your ability to deal with stress, trains you to dole out discipline in a calm and reasonable manner, gets you used to the "terrible twos" :-P


rlaha profile image

rlaha 4 years ago from Spartanburg, SC

This was so cute! I loved the pictures :). Thanks for sharing!


Vinaya Ghimire profile image

Vinaya Ghimire 4 years ago from Nepal

Funny yet quite true comparison.

It felt so good to read your hub after a long time.

I hope your babies are doing well.


I Am Rosa profile image

I Am Rosa 4 years ago from Canada Author

Thank you :-) And, it's good to be back to writing, Vinaya :-)


jpcmc profile image

jpcmc 4 years ago from Quezon CIty, Phlippines

Hilarious but true. voted up and shared.


I Am Rosa profile image

I Am Rosa 4 years ago from Canada Author

Thank you for that, JPCMC :-) And, thank you for becoming a follower!

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