Single Parenthood: Silver Linings

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*sigh* I would have never dreamed in a million nights that I would be a single parent. But then again, who would ever dream something crazy like that? Rather than publish another sob story of the ‘woe is me – left stranded with a child and no support from my ex-spouse’ I thought I would let some of the silver lining show through.

My divorce was one of the ugly ones – one of those really ugly ones. I thought having a child grew a family closer together - stronger as a unit. In my case, my husband turned to alcohol and abuse to mask his insecurities of supporting a family. Which I never understood – we weren’t hurting financially and had more than enough family members that were willing to help – but that was then and this is now and I can tell you this: Being a single parent is a seven days a week full-time job with mandatory overtime but it is so much brighter and healthier than shedding tears and being fearful of what your spouse may say or do next. Within a year after my divorce I bought my first home, cleared all my debt (including those created by him), and received a promotion at work. Since then, my son and I have turned into travelers and shared moments I wouldn’t thought possible while married, I have gotten much closer with family and friends, and have rediscovered myself (as females we are always rediscovering or reinventing ourselves), and remembered what a fun and awesome person I was – what a fun and awesome person I am.

I could waste precious time and energy weeping and moaning, wishing that I never married my ex-husband to avoid such pain and heartbreak. But then I wouldn’t have the best thing in my world – my son. I would go through that hellish marriage a million times over and not change a thing just so the outcome would be having my son. Every situation can have a productive and joyous outcome if we just look hard enough. Fortunately I don’t have to look hard for mine since he’s with me every day. So I ask all single parents, what are some goals or accomplishments you have achieved while raising children solo? Being single parents can really suck at times (especially on mother’s or father’s day when there is no mother or father for your child to give a card to), but we’re strong – we can handle it. So keep those heads up ladies and gents and take care!


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