"Single mothers are the backbone of todays families"

"Single mother are the backbone of todays families

This is a picture of my son in black and grandson, in blue and they both were products of a single mothers.
This is a picture of my son in black and grandson, in blue and they both were products of a single mothers.

"Single mothers are the backbone of todays families"

We live in a society, where the children depend totally and completely on their mothers since the father's are no longer in the picture. I had to leave my ex-husband because of verbal and physical abuse and I'm sure some of you have to make a legitimate decision to leave as well. There are always genunine reason why a women have to leave home.

I had to raise my children by myself and I'm sure quite a few of you had to also, but by the grace of God we have made it through it. I can understand when there's no food in the house. When the mother has to find ways to get food in the home so her children want be hungry.

I can understand when a mothers ultility bill is due and she doesn't have the money to pay it. When there's a split in the marriage, a real mother keeps her children with her and do what ever she can to take care of them. Our men has faulted on the responsibility of fatherhood and abandon their children.

Men know that th children will be taken care of one way or another since the children have a mother that care about them. Although, there are still a few real men out there that has taken responsibilty for their own actions and are really helping the single mother of heir children. Even though they aren't together. I can look up to and respect a decent man that's really trying to make a difference in their children life regardless of the break up.

But then there's also the fathers that let the mothers struggle to make ends meet. While they're out there spending money and doing what ever they want to do. It doesn't seem fair that the man get's away with murder and the single mother is left holding the bag every time.

I often wondered, why is it so easy for a man to forget they have children. While the mother is alway trying to do everything, to let the children know how much she loves them. The children knows how much moms love them since she's the one providing a home for them and food for them to eat. I applaud all single mothers that have step up to the plate and sinlge handly taken care of her children, while the fathers are shrugging their responsiblity as fathers.

I want single mothers all over the world to know you're the greatest and the best since you are the reason that the children keep trying. So pat yourself on the back for a job well done. More power to you. Fathers it's time for you to honor your responsibility. We did not have the children by ourselves, we had your help.

Fathers if you want your children to love, respect and be proud of you. You need to give them a reason to show it. The mothers are everything to their children but they we can't be fathers. No matter how hard they may try. The children need you and your love in their lives to make the neccessary difference.

Benny Faye Douglas


© 2009 benny Faye Douglass

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Comments 17 comments

creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 5 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you onegoodwomen, what you sayis true, it's not of God design but we have to do what we have to raise our children. Godspeed. creativeone59


onegoodwoman profile image

onegoodwoman 6 years ago from A small southern town

It is too true, but it is not of

God's design.....

God Bless the Mothers who struggle

alone........one of my own is in that

number.


VintagePearls 6 years ago

Even though this original article and its readers’ comments were written many months ago, I feel compelled to also comment. The remarks that impressed me the most were the following: “We live in a society, where the children depend totally and completely on their mothers; “Single mothers are the strongest type of individuals this world has to offer”, “Most women will lie and say that their life wasn't as bad as some of ours”; “It takes a whole village to raise a child”; Why were most men devoted to their families not long ago but now few are? What happened?” Close quotes.

Obviously, because of different backgrounds, members of our society often have different opinions about single parenthood, but it is not true that most women will lie about their lives, and I am one of many who don’t find it necessary.

As a great grandmother who raised her six children primarily as a single parent - and in part experienced the “deadbeat dad” situation - my opinion about men is not negative, because I was blessed to come from a two-parent, Christian family with a Dad who loved and cared for his nine children. Not only that, but I knew as I went through life, after failed relationships, that my Christian elders and friends had my back, keeping me and my children lifted up in prayer through life’s journeys. These were the “villagers” that helped raise my children and kept me strong in the face of many challenging situations.

I regard it as totally wrong and a disservice to my father, his peers, my brothers, my five sons, grandsons, many other male kindred who have regularly and devotedly met/meet their family responsibilities to be ignored and/or lumped into groups of loveless, abusive, neglectful men the same as our media does. On the other hand, it is much more constructive to applaud them as well as the women who so lovingly and faithfully have served their families in a society that has the ultimate shameful history of selling kinfolks during American slavery. What kind of example was that???


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

You're very welcome, thank for your comment and feedback. creativeone59


Madison22 profile image

Madison22 7 years ago from NYC

Single mom here, good article and very well said thanks!!


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thank you so much for your support and comments. have a blessed day. creativeone59


tinarathore84 profile image

tinarathore84 7 years ago from India

Single mothers are the most vital asset to the society..it's long every society understand this. I have heard from my grandmother about the times when girl child was burried or drowned to death...not that the problem of female foeticide is not a problen relevant to recent times, but to kill an infact so mercilessly is a vision i have never been able to get myself free from...women have always suffered, as a daughter, wife, mother..in all cases..

thanks for sharing your experiences...women must know what they are worth.

I would like you to read this poem and short story on female foeticide.

http://tinarathore.wordpress.com/2009/03/24/let-me...

http://tinarathore.wordpress.com/2008/07/30/let-me...


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thanks James, for my comments, I really appreciate your input to the higest. may God Continue to blessed you and youe family. Godspeed. creativeone59


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

I think you are right, dear. Great answer. :)


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

I think some men have lost touch with God and their responsibility as husbands, and fathers I think we all need to get back to a Godly way fo living. thank you for your comment and feedback. God bless you and your family.

creativeone59


James A Watkins profile image

James A Watkins 7 years ago from Chicago

I appreciate your clear portrayal of the problem. But I would like to know: what do you think caused this problem? Why were most men devoted to their families not long ago but now few are? What happened?


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Wow, Bk, I'm impressed I ddn't know any of that iformation. tahnk you a Bravo hub. have a blessed day. creativeone59


BkCreative profile image

BkCreative 7 years ago from Brooklyn, New York City

This is a true sign of a dysfuctional culture.

It takes a whole village to raise a child and no other nation piles all the free labor on women while offering no paid maternity leave, no guaranteed health care or child care, who degrade women by telling her marriage means changing her last name (because British common law dictated that she was now a piece of chattel property).

America is the only so-called first world or industrialized nation which offers women none of these benefits. Even in the so-called third world countries, women have extended families to be part of their village.

If a woman becomes pregnant in the US - she has to take a vow of abject poverty - even marriage doesn't bring financial security any longer - chances are her income was needed to keep the home together.

I bet now more men wished they had demanded paid maternity benefits instead of saying women are getting a free ride. Sweden (with a human right to national healthcare) offers something like 90% of a woman's salary for a year off because well because you need money more than ever now - and you need to breastfeed to build an immune system - and you need to bond with your baby. This is tue family values -where a mother is valued - not this nonsense here where every politician is using the term to get voted into office with not a thought to the full time free labor of a mother.

We have to change this nonsense and know that in a capitalist society our value should come with money not a pat on the back and guaranteed poverty.


MistHaven profile image

MistHaven 7 years ago from New Jersey

Single mothers are the strongest type of individuals this world has to offer. The problem with parenthood is there is no entry barrier; anyone can become a parent. In many cases, both the mother and father aren't fully aware of what that entails. The reason deadbeat fathers can forget about their children so easily is because their is no physical / emotional bond like their is when a mother carries and gives birth to a child.


Veronica Allen profile image

Veronica Allen 7 years ago from Georgia

I was raised by a single mother. As a matter of fact, she raised five of us all on her own. I applaud her for all the hard work she did. We may not have all turned out the way she wanted us to, but she truly did the best she could. When no one else was there for us, she was.


creativeone59 profile image

creativeone59 7 years ago from Gold Canyon, Arizona Author

Thanks for a true comment on the and taken responsibilty. Creativeone59


annb106 profile image

annb106 7 years ago

That is a true statement. Most women will lie and say that their life wasn't as bad as some of ours' but, they can sweep the mess under the rug as long as they want to because she knows and most of all God knows. It is time for men to step up to the plate and be the kind of fathers that they need to be. Yes we women should pat ourselves on the back for loving our kids and trying to instill love in their lives and hearts.

Barbara

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